ITT: Kek stories

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>playing rust
>out looking for bases to raid
>had some decent gear. Roadsign armor, couple semis and a pump
>bunch of resources too
>hear the heli coming
>friends want to down it with the gear we have
>try to convince them not to throw their lives away but they insist
>we chase after it for a while but it seemingly leaves
>we start heading back
>suddenly chopper comes back over the hill just as we are passing a huge rock formation
>friend turns around and says "okay this was a bad idea"
>chopper open fires on us
>we run around, it hits me 3-4 times
>spam bandages as we run from it
>first friend dies to the first volley
>I keep running around the rock but there is nowhere to hide
>other friend starts shooting it
>futile.jpg
>it guns him down with missiles and comes around for me
>hug the face of the rock, think it might leave
>nope
>it unleashes another volley of bullets
>down to 5 HP and it's coming in fast
>squeeze my body into a tiny crack that I found
>literally praying to Kek for protection with all I have, invoking every name for him that I can come up with
>heli fires another volley of rockets
>they all miss me
>get away with 5 hp
>walk across the entire map and make it back to the base with all our guns, ammo, and best armor
>tell my friend to denounce his current religion and become a Kekistani