Make a wish /v/ Then make up an ironic twist for someone else's

>>376569735
It's another mobile "runner"

I wish for E3 to have something decent coming from all conferences

Tails Gets Trolled gets a fully-funded game 100% accurate to the comic, with permission from all companies it borrows characters from.

>>376569735
I wish Battleborn was good

>>376569997
it's a korean F2P mmo with grindtastic gameplay

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Give me a sequel for this.
Hard mode: No Deathwing-style optimization issues.

>>376570191
it's only available in french. all fan made translations are so bad the game becomes unplayable.

>>376570191
It's extremely well received and the studio is forced to turn it into a quadrilogy even though they're clearly running out of ideas by the third game.

I wish we finally get a Conan the Barbarian character action game.

>>376569997
The comic's story is sullied by all of the companies wanting their characters to be the strongest or not be represented in a certain way.

>>376570191
It's completely Jian focused and you can only play as a Jian.

>>376569891
Its a multiplat

>>376570191
They actually are working on a sequel though.

I wish for a 2v2 MvC

>>376570383
>I wish we finally get a Conan the Barbarian character action game.
They can't get the rights for Conan, so they use Dave the Barbarian instead.

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Please give me a new playstation all-stars, with old snake on it

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>>376570597
It's a gamer-themed shoe line.

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>>376569735
I want a new Metroi- wait a sec...

Uh, I want a new Devil may C-...nah nevermind.

I'll take a new Thief gam-...you know what, fuck it. All my favorite franchises can stay dead.

>>376570740
they all come back in a crossover

>>376570569
It has no local multiplayer and the servers are all located in North Korea

I wish Nintendo would go third party

>>376570898
they do, and become worse than EA.
and then they eventually buy out EA, and become NintEAndo, destroyer of fun, lord of mediocrity, acquirer of currency

I want a Klonoa 3

Monkey paw my ass hart on this because i would be pretty happy about a new klonoa game regardless of what can happen

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>I want a new Zelda game
It comes with DLC!

ONE FUCKING JOB, NINTENDO.
ONE. FUCKING. JOB.

>>376571043
It's backed by Kickstarter and become the furry Shantae with mediocre games liked for fanservice.

>>376569735
A new Tenchu game.

I want the current HURR DURR GIANT EMPTY SANDBOX open world meme to die and for games to adopt a Gothic 2 style of small hand-crafted open world that is actually fun to explore

>>376570017
It's good but no more waifus.

I want Madden on the PC.

I wish MGS 1, 2 and 3 to be remaked with the Fox Engine and be available on all platforms.

>>376570898
Nintendo launches its own client on PC and become the jewish overlords of the industry, with ridiculous always online DRM, non-moddable games and only first party games.

>>376571284
But Jews fear the Samurai, anon.

>>376571220
Done, but one of the main female characters that appears through the entire game is voiced by Ashley Burch

>>376571281
How the fuck is any monkey paw gonna make Madden even worse? It's not possible

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>>376569735
I want Persona 6 to come out within the next 3 years

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I wish for a sacrifice remake or reboot.

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I want a Mario/Rayman crossover for Switch announced at E3

>>376571358
Because they have the potential to become even bigger Jews than the Jews themselves

I want the next Final Fantasy to be based off the Agni's Philosophy short film, I don't care if the battle system is action or turn based, I want the return of overworld maps though.

>>376571283
they get turned into FPS games and no longer have any boss fights or stealth survival elements, the snakes are now all silent protagonists.

>>376570738
this one was funny, made me chuckle anon

>>376571281
Madden gets a PC release every year, with hairy ballsack dude and glitchy hole guy from that baseball game as official mascots.

I want a mecha rpg in the vein of Zoids Legacy.

>>376571284
But they're already jewish as fuck, there's no fucking reason they keep making you buy virtual console games you purchased on another console.
>>376571283
Done, but the ladder part in mgs 3 is twice as long, and the cutscenes in 2 are partially slowed down.

>>376569735
I want valve to release the Pyro update already and give decent buffs for him without resorting to more puff n sting bullshit.

>>376571447
It has the worst aspects of Persona 4 and 5 with the gameplay of Persona 1,

>>376571476
You got it but it's a sports game, not a platformer.


I want a game about law. Prosecuting, defending, anything.

"I'd love the next Resident Evil to back to a spooky mansion."

I want a Pokemon GO style Megaman Battle Network game where you can customize your own Navi via parts you aquire from various viruses you defeat. Oh, and it actually has a decent community to make it fun and isn't as location based as PokeGO.

Holy shit do any of you guys even know what the monkey's paw does?
>I want a good game
>YOU DIE LOL
Its supposed to be, as OP said, ironic.

>>376571709
It takes 50 years to download


I want a game

>>376571451
Granted. But it's a android-only pay-to-win game released only in China.

>>376571764
It's a 3DS game with kawaii chibis.

I want bethsoft and id to pull a 180 and launch a doom game on its original engine.

>>376571792
>game
Made by EA

>>376571595
Wasn't a Zoids game announced? Or was that a hoax.

>>376571792
It's shit

>>376571447
It's an idol shit spinoff like #FE
>>376571451
Team ninja gets hired for it
>>376571476
It becomes a solid platformer like the other rayman games and they bring back bullshit hard levels like Big Band Land

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>>376571476
Wish Granted HAIL2U!
It's a Mario Rayman At the Olympic Games Crossover and it's basically a Switch Port of an unfinished mobile game with micro transactions.

Oh great Monkey Paw, I wish for Todd Howard to commit Harakiri live onstage at E3 this year!

I want Zone of the Enders 3

>>376571447
It's also 5 hours long

>>376571595
The mecha are all super slow and tanky with shit designs

>>376571764
It's given the artstyle of luigi's mansion

>>376571476
Didn't they announce the mario/rabbids crossover a little while ago

>>376571792
You get a deer carcass in the mail

>>376571220
Okay but the protagonists never shut up and never have appropriate dialogue for the situation.

4/5 of the things I've wanted have been monkey paw'd already, at this point I don't want the fourth

>>376571706
Oh my fucking god anon, well done.
I actually fucking cringed. That's actually evil. A lot of people would hate P1's dungeon crawling in modern games. But they should bring it back, Legends of Grimrock did it pretty well
>>376571828
Done but they go full horse armor with day 1 DLC and they somehow manage to make it unoptimized and buggy as fuck

>>376571828
Okay but its still has all the problems of nuDOOM

>>376571905
Todd Howard kills himself successfully, but his ghost haunts E3 each year from then on, ensuring literally anything announced there turns into shit, closing it down permanently.

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Fuck the monkey's paw, i want the Pandora's box.

Make it as horrible as possible with a glimmer of hope.

>>376571862
I haven't heard anything but if there was one announced it'd probably be a mobile game.

New Monster Rancher with proper gameplay intact

>>376571915
Done, but the majority of the game is you in an open world on foot hunting down pieces to repair Jehuty. Once you finally repair it, a cutscenes plays and the game is over.

I wish for a vagrant story remake.

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I want a company like Obsidian to develop an expansive old school rogue-like with all the standard mechanics

>Age Of Empires 2
>i can't wait for aoe3 :DDDD

I wish for a Pokémon Conquest 2.

I want the Halo franchise to be taken into the hands of people who actually know what the fuck their doing and actually care about it. Also I want the franchise to have more spinoffs into different game genres.

>>376569735
I wish /v was a more family friendly place.

Get Microsoft out of the console market so that it's only Nintendo and Sony

>>376572269
Its buggy as shit, takes forever to load, and doesn't run on your operating system for whatever reason.

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>>376572231
Okay, but there's Monster Hunter levels of RNG bullshit.

>>376572314
Granted but Traviss becomes the sole source of canon.

>>376572331
Bioware buys up /v/'s servers off Hiroshimoot and extends their forums into it. Stanley Roo is our new mod.

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I wish we got an expansive, DS1-like Blame! or Biomega game.

>>376572314
The gameplay is tight, but all lore is immediately shit on.

demons souls and bloodborne get a PC port

>>376572438
Fuck...

I want /v/ gone to bring back /vint/

>>376572331
Wish granted, but you lose all interest in even coming here and finally move on with your life.
I wish the Suikoden series was revived with a proper game and its actually good.

>>376572481
It doesn't have controller support

>>376570191
It happens, but your legs aren't OK

I want a comfy melancholic game like Fragile Dreams or Megaman legends 3

>>376572236
you got me good

>>376572314
Halo goes back to the days of top tier story and lore, however every level is DLC and the campaign is 50 hours long.
Also the spinoffs are all turn-based rpgs

>>376572331
/v/ becomes and incest porn dump board

>>376572374
Japanese government realises japan now holds the monopoly on console video games and puts 300% tariffs on video games. A new ps5 costs 4000 dollaridoos and games go for 250.

>>376572481
Granted, but the controls are just as, if not more shitty than the Dark Souls series on mouse and keyboard, and hooking up a controller is too arduous and complicated.

>>376572478
Anon, that's Halo 5.
>>376572515
Leafs take over the board.
>>376572481
Unoptimized as fuck. And its a shitty "remaster" where everything looks worse and certain features are needlessly changed.

>>376572331
That happens, but the shitposting from Furfags and Kassfags increases tenfold
>>376572374
Done.
You get to watch Nintendo bastardize old franchises by putting references from halo and gears of war in Splatoon.
>>376572314
Done.
This one's really bad. They make an attempt to revive halo and give it all the old school elements, making it a decent shooter with great multiplayer and custom game modes, but it gets ignored because they make a spinoff card game like hearthstone

>>376572481
the FPS count is garbage even on great rigs and it's not patched

>>376572515
All english speaking posters are banned

>>376572536
Granted, but it only comes out for Mac

I wish every game that came out for PS4 and Xbox One came out for PC as well and were optimized for it fantastically.

>>376572710
Site stops existing

All dudebros and console kiddies stop buying games entirely

>>376570017
It gets good gameplay and gets 150% SJW lore
A lot of people play it and spew the memorized lines

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I wish you fucks would reply to my witty and original posts in this thread.

>>376572839
>All dudebros and console kiddies stop buying games entirely
the industry dies leaving behind only small indie studios

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>>376570563
you made me really happy today.

>>376572839
The industry is seen as a lost cause and gets abandoned except for indie devs on steam early access and kickstarter.

New lord of the rings game that isn't ass creed bullcrap.

Ok, ruin me this:
Amnesia gets a sequel
Make it worse than Machine for Pigs

376572925
people reply but you never get any (you)'s

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I want the next Paper Mario game to have a complete return to form from the last 2 games: Partners, old combat system, great music, interesting characters, and a well written story.

>>376572608
>I want a comfy melancholic game

The game is created and is one of the comfiest video games of all time with lovable characters, nostalgia creating music, and a heartwarming storyline.

The ending has all of the characters brutally, viscerally murdered in gorey detail.

Bring me high quality VR porn right now

>>376572969
BFME 3 is made, but never released.

>>376572925
All of my replies were enjoyable. Not sure if they were you though.
Someone do >>376571776

>>376572925
you only get shitpost replies and get baited into an argument that derails into the discussion of whether liking traps is gay

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I wish for a boyfriend.

>>376572807
Granted but you get arrested for child porn and can never own a PC again. I wish MGS V got the ending it deserved

Eternal Darkness Sequel

>>376573010
it is mostly about disgusting fetish. The vanilla options have very little variety and have horribly cringy female voiceovers.

Cannot be modded

>>376573010
It's a Windows Phone exclusive.

>>376573071
You get a boyfriend... but he has a pussy!!

>>376573001
>The ending has all of the characters brutally, viscerally murdered in gorey detail.
I posted that hoping for something like this

>>376573010
It all stars chris-chan and brianna wu

>>376572969
it's a MOBA

>>376572991
Developed by the Outlast devs. Monsters are just dudes with burn scars.

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>>376572608
Fine, but any and all discussion of it turns into waifu/husbando shitposting.
>>376572546
Just fucking imagine that.
God damn.
>>376572236
Fine, but they dumb down the combat entirely
>>376572312
They do that but the game goes to shit because they focus on waifus instead of mechanics

I want some Jap developer to take a new crack at Mount and Blade style games.

>>376573010
The quality is so immensely high definition that it becomes hard to fap to the actual porn due to general appreciation of the texturing/modeling quality, as well as phenomenal detail on the surrounding environment.

>>376573101
they make it a modern walking simulator horror game and it is eternal darkness in name alone

>>376573071
It turns out to be a reverse trap who finds holdhanding gay.

>>376573187
DELET

>>376573082
Granted but they still boot Kojima and its such a success that they make constant pointless spinoffs like Survive.

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>>376573173
Another one?

>>376573213
>Jap developer to take a new crack at Mount and Blade style games.

Game lags like fuck when there's more than 100 soldiers on the ground. Multiplayer scene is dead. Harder to mod than M&B

>>376571785

Literally nobody has made a post like that.

>>376572996
Fucking nice.

>>376573101
The ENTIRE game is filled with "I WAS THE ONE THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO FILL YOUR DARK SOUL WITH LIIIIIIIIIIIGHT" levels of cringe.

>>376573082
>>376573339

>>376573296
reality is more cruel than fiction it seems. Had no idea that existed.

>>376572170
It's a nu-RTS with a lot of manual micro, terrible gatherer AI that forces you to manually reassign gatherers to maintain resource gathering rates, only two resources both of which are finite, clearly-cut meta from which you can't deviate or you lose, only 30 different units in the whole game, historical revisionism, and mobile cartoon graphics.

But the soundtrack is boner-worthy.

>>376573071
Granted, but he never give you any second of time for yourself and he slaps your forehead with dick when you sleep

I want game about crosbreeding animals/monsters, something like monster rancher but with map you can walk around and good combat.

>>376573426
that post was made after >>376571785
you nigger

>>376570371
the game never made sense anyways

>>376571776
Done.
But you have to wait 6 hours after you encounter 10 enemies

>>376570578
This would be better imo

I wish for a remake of the first Drakengard, with good gameplay this time around.

>>376572969
Farmville: The Shire Edition.

I wish they fixed the character designs for Xenoblade 2 for the better

>>376573497
Done, but it's developed by Hello games and is very void of content

>>376573497
Monsters are pregenerated and all the cool combos are impossible. The whole monster breeding thing is just a minigame with no bearing on gameplay and is skipped in lore.
Monsters all suck, are trivial to kill and are only required for crafting components (you have to craft your own ammo).
Combat is good only when you fight humans and use a lot of exploits to go much faster than the game was designed for.

>>376573678
The gameplay is great, but it's a 2d sidescroller for the Switch

I wish for a Kingdom Hearts reboot where the story isnt shit and there's no disney characters

I want a new goemon game in english

>>376573497
Dragon Warrior Monsters my friend

Series has been out for a long time, only played the original Gameboy versions of 1 & 2 so I can personally recommend that, and have heard good about the others.

I want a new final fantasy tactics game

>>376573426
>Wishes for all games to come to PC
>Can't even play them because he isn't allowed to own a PC by law
Whats isn't ironic about that?

>>376573001
It comes out as a mobile game with micro transactions in order to progress and unplayable controls

>>376573774
the story and setting are dark and serious

I wish for everyone but me in this thread gets aids

I want the new Spider-Man game to have all the unlockable costumes from the comics.

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>>376573764
I'd actually be tempted to shell out the cash for a Switch, then. Fuck.

>>376573528
Timers... why the fuck didn't that even cross my mind?
>>376573852
All of your loved ones posted in this thread.

I wish SJWs invaded /pol/ and only /pol/.

>>376572408
perfect

>>376570191
You get the sequel but they remove brouzouf

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>>376573717
Done but all that time and effort made them cut out even more content.

I want someone to make a modern version of Yume Nikki

>>376574038
Granted, but /pol/ starts a crusade an invades every other board to take it back from the leftists

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>>376574038
/pol/ converts all invading SJWs into stormfags, who then proceed to invade /v/ in full force and conquer it.

>>376573953
But the actual game sucks and is heavily inspired by Bendis.

>>376574101
>>I want someone to make a modern version of Yume Nikki
It is about transgender issues and only about them.

>>376574101
Done, but it becomes a mainstream hit and all the children in the schoolyard are talking about it.

>>376573825
It's a mobile ala Fire Emblem.

>>376573764
Done, but they make it like dream drop distance where the mechanics literally fuck you over in the middle of boss fights

>>376573953
YOu get them but only like 6 are in the game, you have to purchase all of the others for $5 for a three pack but it's one good skin and 2 shitty ones.

>I want a sequel to subspace emissary.

>>376569735
I want another Tony Hawk and Skate game. I miss skateboarding games.

I wish normies left 4chan forever

I want MvC: Infinite to not be bloated by just mcu characters and actually feature cool, obscure characters

I want a new Medabots RPG like the GBA game, but for 3DS or Switch, in English.

>>376574379
4chan shuts down, forcing everyone to leave forever.

>>376574379
hiroshima sells the site to the fbi because it is no longer profitable to run.

>>376574382
all those characters are packed as DLC, some patches are in the DLC, having too many of them at once will erase your savedata, this problem won't be fixed for at least 2 months.

>>376574379
All 4chan traffic ceases, causing it to be shut down.

>>376573808
Thanks man, I was always thinking that they are bad pokemon clones. I'll emulate it cause my old fat gb is dead,

I wish Xbox would make a comeback and start releasing good exclusives that rival it's competition

>>376570569
You get it but no xmen or fantastic four. Also, only recent capcom characters so say goodbye to any darkstalkers that aren't waifus.

>I want a zatch bell video game

>>376569735
I wish for everyone's wishes to not come true no matter what they desire.

>>376574685
Your own wish doesn't come true

>>376574632
Xbongs become the now sonydronies and flood /v/ with NEVER EVER
The games aren't actually all that good, just kinda OK, but that doesn't stop the new plague from praising them for as long as they're exclusive, just like it is the case with sony right now.

>>376574382
All locked behind DLC
>>376574395
Done but it gets translated by Nintendo of America, gets delayed for no reason, and content gets cut out and locked behind amiibos

>>376574685
that's basically reality as we have it now.

>>376574382
It's just the iPhone port that has the obscure characters and the gameplay is really shitty.

>I want a sequel to J Stars with improvements from what they learned from their mistakes.

I want the resident evil 2 remake to literally be REmake-2

>>376574038
They combine into autistic centrists w/ 3x the population of current /pol/, break off from 4chan, make a site for themselves, become organized and powerful, and then take over the United States gov't.

>>376569735
I want a good porn game

>>376574871
It only gets released in Japan, you need a hacked 3ds to play it
>>376574886
Done but it gets bad reviews because of the control scheme and journalists just suck at videogames

>>376574801
>a green NEVER EVER face

>>376575071
>Done but it gets bad reviews because of the control scheme and journalists just suck at videogames

really thats it? that isnt even bad

>>376575041
it's furry porn.

>>376575041
Your erectile dysfunction from constant jacking off makes you dead sexually.

>>376574038
/pol/ takes refuge on /mlp/, they combine and invade /v/. Again.

I want a Persona/Final Fantasy crossover.

>>376575304
It's #FE but worse

>>376575261
/mlpol/ was the greatest thing to come from the April 1 prank, without all of the bots and shills that infest modern /pol/

I really miss it alot

/pol/ and /mlp/ are merged back forever.

>>376571521
The new FF is an FPS, you play as one of the Arab militants.

>>376574038
The invasion fails and the /pol/ influence grows.

Trump gets elected for 5 consecutive terms

>>376575406
Every thread on /v/ is now a barneybaiting thread

>>376575071
Damn it, I can really see that happening to a new shonen jump game. I was so hyped for that one piece 3ds game that never came out in America. RIP 15 year old me.

>>376575406
Makes /pol/ even stronger like it did during the merge

>>376575556
>Every thread on /v/ is now a barneybaiting thread
Barneyfag subsequently commits suicide, and eventually the nonexistent MLP hate cause GR15 to get an errata, allowing pony reaction images on all boards.

>>376574810
Ok but it's not like NoA is that bad right?

>>376575807
They've been pretty bad in recent years, look at fates.

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I WANT MY BOY BACK

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I want KotOR 3,
Made by Obsidian,
Made with the team they had when they were actually going to make it,
Using the ideas they had when they were actually going to make it,
With a similar budget to the originals,
With a three year development time,
Without any input from EA, Bioware, Disney or any other entity, unless Obsidian asks for it,
And completely disregarding changes to canonicity and TOR.

>>376575806
This..............

actually has no downside

A Gundam game that actually releases in the west

I want both /pol/ and normies to leave pepe and wojak alone

>>376576510
You're far far too late for pepe my friend. Wojak has some hope though.

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I wish this wish wouldn't come true

>>376576637
Another anon in this thread has his wish come true with no downsides.

>>376576637
Your wish is ignored entirely because you're not white.

>>376576169
OK, but it's only available on Mac devices.

I want a ace combat HD collection.

>>376576368
Lad
Gundam Versus
Q4 2017 for NA, please enjoy

Dragon's dogma 2 gets released, is the best adventure rpg of all time.

It kills the genre forever.

>>376574665
But the waifus aren't even recent, either.

>>376576637
you get cancer

>>376576878
Mobile.

>>376576878
It literally is a collection, each game disk costing $60

>>376576878
You get it but the porting job is so terrible that the game crashes every 30 minutes or so.

I wish for Bloodborne 2 to be the biggest flop in gaming history.

>>376576924
it also kills everyone who plays it with og pokemon style seizures

>tfw I get my wish
fuck yeah

>>376577089
Bloodborn 2 flops, but later is appreciated as an underrated 10/10 gem

I want a furry VN with gay and straight options, being able to play whatever your fursona is, and all the romances to be good.

Oh, and the sex scenes are explicit, and it is sold worldwide uncensored and for all major platforms.

>>376577089
It flops terribly, nobody even wants to talk about bloodborne anymore. However dark souls makes a huge comeback and becomes a yearly release packed with on disk DLC

I the Zerg to indoctrinate me into their army and to become but a cell in the Zerg war machine.

I want fromsoft and team ico to co-develop a dark souls styled action game with a large focus on puzzle elements.

>>376577292
Art is drawn by palcomix

>>376577292
furfaggotry goes mainstream in its wake, fursonas become the norm, literally everything becomes furry, and you lose interest in this fetish

>>376577292
you get your wish, but it is physical only and sold only sold at the gamestop where your crush works 24/7

>>376577292
It gets the starless treatment, filled with the worst fetishes imaginable, and even has the same "good" ending where you finally get to marry your husbando/waifu and you get NTR'd by a bunch of horse dicks
I'm not making that last part up, they actually fucking did that for one of the endings

>>376577292
Corruption of Champions 2 is a worldwide hit, forever cementing furries into everyday society, causing you to seek something new to satisfy your fickle fetishes

>>376577292
After release, Tumblr takes a liking to the game, infesting the fanbase to the point where anyone would distance itself from it by sheer principle. It is now THE most popular game on all of Tumblr.

>>376577089
It flops, but it's multiplat

>>376577405
It's not localized

>>376577416
With bonus content from Shadman

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>>376576878
Xbox One exclusive

I want a new F-Zero game

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>>376577534
CoC2 is already a big hit though

>>376577613
It's a prequel and uses regular vehicles.

>>376577613
It's moblie with p2w purchases.

>>376577613
It's F-zeros equivalent of Star fox zero, and it's a 3ds exclusive.

>>376577613
Ashley Burch is the narrator

>>376577613
It uses the controls from the Nintendo Land mini-game.

>>376577613
You get it, but it's an adventure game with some racing segments at set points in the game, and you need to buy an amiibo to unlock Blue Falcon.

>>376576123
done, but he's now a memespouting fuccboi that only appears on persona 5 dancing all night

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>>376577803
Too fucking far, Anon.

I want Nintendo to stop releasing one Kirby game a year and instead release one Metroid game per year like the fans actually want.

>>376578015
fuck off, Kirby is a better series than Metroid, and most importantly, not fucking dead

>>376578015
The Metroid games are fairly decent, but the rare Kirby game release is absolute trash, every time.

>>376578015
They're federation force sequels only.

>>376578015
Done, but they're all dating sims or visual novels.

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>>376577736
What if this actually happens? Miyamoto said he wanted a new control scheme to justify a new F-Zero...

You have reminded me of one of my greatest fears, anon.

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I want Swat 5

>>376578324
Wii U exclusive with lots of touchscreen and motion control integration.

>>376578324
It's overshadowed and beaten by ready or not

>>376578324
You get swatted 5 times when you least expect it.

I'd rather no DMC5 at all than to be terribly let down

>>376578473
DMC5 comes out and isn't very good, but you are never in a situation where you can afford it anyway.

I want you to live a happy and fulfilling life.

I want a monkeys paw vidya

>>376579012
it's made by David Kage

>>376578994
I do, but it was all a lie as I was raising kids that weren't mine and was getting cucked for years and never found out.

>>376573764
Done, But it has DreamWorks characters instead, with a lot of cringy as hell shrek memes.

>>376578994
I do live a happy and fulfilling life, except life is actually meaningless and any impact I may have had will not matter because everything in the universe is doomed to extinction anyway

>>376578436
how is that bad?

>>376579423
There will never be a swat 6 because of it.

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I wish Denuvo to die as a company, reborn as a new government, have legal pirate killing police, conquer other countries, make poorfags and subhuman become slaves and make their lives bitter.

I want a green TMNT t-shirt.

>>376579845
You get a green T-Shirt with the letters 'TMNT' on the front, printed in comic sans

>>376579845
5XL is out of stock.

>>376579845
It's a kids nickelodeon series tmnt shirt

>>376579845
You get one. But it's a poor knockoff 1/3 your size.

I want a cute gf who plays video games with me and gives me hugs.

>>376579678
It becomes a tiny african country and conquers a bunch of tiny african countries.
It enslaves a bunch of africans, then collapses upon itself.
In its dying throes it gets bought by pirates who then host piratebay mirrors there and become immune to any legal problems from other countries.

>>376579946
>>376579920
you say that like it's a bad thing

I wish I had more time to play video games

>>376580132
You get fired from your job, now you have no money to buy games to play.

>>376580045
She plays a few videogames with you and gives you a bunch of hugs, but never fucks you, gives you mouth herpes when she lets you eat her rancid vagina once, then reveals she has been fucking blacks behind your back all the time and leaves you after trashing your house and spreading rumors about your tiny penis.

>>376580132
you're put into a mental institution and all have the time in the world to play video games, but they're just leap frog shit. sorry

I want a noir detective game that doesn't suck.

>>376580132
You lose your job and all close family relations and are shipped to a commune where the minimal amount of food and water is provided so you don't die- most of the food is potatoes and the water is from a water tap in a shitty Chinese factory that hires 3 year olds. The only game you are allowed to play is the 3 different versions of Pong that are provided for you by the state.
All of them are single player

>>376580045
Granted, but you are forbidden to have any sexual contact with her.

That privilege is reserved for the Chad next door.

I wish for a zombie apocalypse IRL to wipe out entire humanity forever

>>376580045
You develop erectile dysfunction as soon as you meet her.

>>376580268
Granted, but it uses denuvo and is completely forgotten after a year or two.

I want Vanquish on PC

>>376580471
You and a bunch of Chads get holed up in an apartment building where the Chads fuck all the dead qt3.14 and whenever you try to have any sexual contact they kick your shit in before pissing on you.
This goes on for weeks until the zambles finally kill all of you but you die while Chad is still pissing on you.

>>376580095
It's 80s or early 00s tmnt or bust

>>376580471
The new dominant species of Earth develop godlike video games, way better than you will ever play because you are dead.

>>376580572
you can't invert the mouse and anti aliasing inexplicably doesn't work

These threads always turn out shit because people don't understand the meaning of monkey paw style wishes
They are supposed to be bittersweet results where you didn't quite get what you wanted
But instead most the time people end up going with results that basically boil down to "lol u may have not even bothered making a wish at all"

I wish for you to check my 5, filthy paw

>>376580905
Checked. As payment, you will never receive dubs again in your life.

I wish for absolute power over all of existence.

>>376580905
Wish granted but you have to check mine first

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>>376580905
Granted, it causes a shitstorm

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>>376569735
I wish I was happy playing vidya

>>376580840
There is always a way

>>376581009
>I wish for absolute power over all of existence.
and the mind of a giraffe to go with it

>>376580886
People now know how to properly monkeys paw, but nobody cares anyway and in fact most do it the wrong way out of spite.

I wish to fug
>>376581292

>>376581009
you are lobotomized and your perception of the whole of everything is limited to the pool of drool on your lap, which you have complete control over

>>376581136
You are now too happy playing vidya and miss out on all the good things life has to offer

>>376569735
What's the Monkey Paw's origins? Was the original monkey magic? Did it only become magic in death? Was it just a victim of voodoo juju?

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I want a Metal Gear Rising-style Kill La Kill video game.

>>376580886
>They are supposed to be bittersweet results where you didn't quite get what you wanted
Wasn't the original monkey paw granting wishes in terrible ways, like reanimating a mutilated corpse into a zombie etc.?

>>376581262
Turns out that anon is also a fat manchild weeb in denial, who also is carrying AIDS.

>>376581361
Granted but it's a Switch exclusive and localized by Nintendo Treehouse.

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>>376581298
Implying I wasn't already missing out on life

>>376581361
American localization heavily censors the female characters' nudity, and also turns sime of the characters black for no apparent reason other than forced diversity.

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I wish for the Valkyria Chronicle's Marina Wulfstan spinoff sniper game i've always longed for

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>>376580886
Calypso wishes are more fun than monkey paws, so everyone does them instead.

>>376581657
It's a prohibitively expensive arcade cabinet ripoff of silent scope.

I wish for Michael Jackson to return from the dead to save the music industry

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I wish for a Danganronpa all-stars fighting game with every character from all the games.

>>376581841
Granted

People begin to get sick of hearing Jackson's songs over and over again, and his fame consequently fades away

>>376581841
He remakes thriller in an attempt to save the music industry, but fails at the saving part.

new weapons and for the heavy to be buffed like he deserves

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>>376581841
Micheal Jack's (yes Jack is a nickname for John) son returns from the dead. He tries to save the music industry but shortly loses interest.

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>>376571991
underrated

>>376582081
The soldier gets a new overpowered rocket launcher but the heavy is now exceptionally shiny and clean.

>>376582081
Granted but every other class is buffed just as much as him and recieve better weapons to boot.

>>376582081
The new weapons are garbage and don't even look cool

Heavy's win rate goes to 65%, causing widespread hatred for him and he is later nerfed into oblivion

>>376582081
Granted

Reddit, thinking that Heavy is Phlog-tier overpowered, screams at Valve to nerf him, which they proceed to do

>>376581938
It has crap controls and all of the good characters are DLC. It's also only on Xbox One.

>>376582274
meant to type 95%, but you get the point

I wish Monster Rancher became the dominant mon game, not Pokemon.

>>376582514
It gets the Pokémon treatment and gets progressively worse and unoriginal with each installment

>>376582514
The games are even worse than Pokemon despite its strong shelf performance

>>376578015
Granted

The last Kirby game made is objectively 10/10, leaving everyone (yourself included) hopelessly craving for more

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I wish for a Quarter Pounder With Cheese, some French Fries, and an ice cold Coca-Cola!

>>376583061
You get exactly that, but they forgot the straw and you have none laying around. and the fries are cold

I want a girlfriend who legitimately and truly loves REAL video games.

>>376583061
It's one of those bad days where the quality of the food isn't what it was when you went the other day.

>>376583302
She truly loves them, and it's even the same kind you like. But she's absolutely awful at them, can never improve and her opinions are complete garbage yet she never stops giving them.

I want to be happy again.

>>376583181
> and the fries are cold
you monster

>>376583478
You're happy again but lose your face muscle control

>>376583302
She hates all modern video games and refuses to play them because she doesn't consider them REAL video games

Also you get E.D. kek

>>376583302
but her face and her butt are switched.

>>376583061
>an ice cold Coca-Cola!
The coke is frozen solid and you can't drink it. After it thaws it will taste watery (moreso than usual watered down Maccas Coke)

I want a 2D side-scroller megaten game that plays like Castlevania.

>>376583302
You get her, but you end up being too casual for her, and she prefers to hide her power level.
>>376583478
The monkey paw shows you what you need to be happy, but you have to pursue it yourself.

I want good AI to be considered one of the most important traits in vidya.

I wish to be a cute girl

>>376583858
Granted

It's the sequel to #FE, so all the salty SMTxFE fans come out of the woodwork to quickly wear down the game's reputation

>>376584005
It's the only thing devs care about now and every game is just a tech demo for it.

I want a new 2D Metroid game that's as well designed as ZM and as big as Super.

>>376584025
You're a cute girl. It's a double-edged sword already. Enjoy people thinking others will "save" you instead of giving you that job/raise, people thinking you're too cute and refusing to go out with you as you're "out of their league" and other crap only cute girls have to go through. Also periods. They sucks. Always.

>>376584034
>>376584129
These are legit horrifying.
Well done.

>>376584129
>I want a new 2D Metroid game that's as well designed as ZM and as big as Super.

Granted, but they changed the art style to something out of a Japanese children's show.

>>376584129
Granted

It's a fangame in the vein of AM2R, and Nintendo C&Ds it a couple days after release

I wish the Xbox One allowed cloud saves to be downloaded and otherwise handled the same way the PS4 does.

A complete zombie survival sandbox game thats actually good and not a kickstarter/unfinished mess.

>>376584372
Granted, but it gives you ball cancer. Both balls.

>>376584407
Granted

The game flops like no tomorrow and isn't even considered a cult classic, since absolutely everyone got sick of the genre a couple years earlier

>>376584496
> cloud saves give cancer
Wait, wut?

I wish I had a Genie that will grant me wishes without downsides

>>376584718
Granted

The genie is a total cunt and, despite him granting wishes without any downsides, abuses you routinely

>>376584718
The Monkey's paw explodes, taking you with it. The nature of reality is imperfection and dealing with downsides. The only perfect things are not real, therefore a perfect genie can not exist in this reality.

Where can it exist? I dunno, but you're going there now.

>>376584407
It's full of cringeworthy ironic humor, become a pop cultural phenomenon, and will soon attract normes like flies

I wish I no longer have erectile dysfunction

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>>376584407
Granted, but the IP is doomed to a terrible future.

>>376569735
Monkey paw doesn't twist your wishes.
It is a literal wish. and nothing you wish for can come from nothing.
The only way you get fucked from a monkey's paw is by wishing vaguely or stupidly.

>>376585038
Granted, but you get 100% addicted to some obscure, boring and grindy korean mmo, gain 500 lbs. No woman will touch you and you can't even reach your penis.

>>376585038
Granted, you now have aids.

>>376585038
Granted

You soon realize that sex isn't everything, and proceed to date girls without even once thinking of fucking them

I wish every game came with a free soundtrack bundled in.

>>376585302
Granted

The overall quality of video game music drops sharply, significantly lowering your interest in listening to the soundtracks

>>376585302
Granted, but it's the soundtrack to some shitty indie game rather than the game you bought.

>>376585302
Granted, but they only come with some selected tracks and most of the time, that one song you love isn't in them.

I wish for the paw to rejoin it's monkey

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I want Capcom to develop and release DMC5 which is actually a complete game, and it's good.

>>376585591
The paw vanishes and now sits next to a dead monkey somewhere.

>>376585618
Granted, but you have to deal with new Dante and a soundtrack that will be very cringey within five years thanks to it's use of dated bands.

>>376585618
Granted, Switch exclusive.

>>376585302
Granted.
In between every track is commentary from e-celebs and people like Anthony Burch and """"Carolyn Petit"""" who can't shut the fuck up about their opinions