>Hey son, what are you doing on the comput-

>>376313504
>1815
>only Balkans, Arabian Peninsula, Northern African shore and fuckton of steppes
>as fucking Ottomans

Being an utter fucking failure, that's what you are doing

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>>376313504
conquering christian lands in the name of God. FeelsGodMan

>>376313647
blobbing is dumb. someone was clearly going for a "what if otto expanded partially into north africa, persia, and the asian steppes" roleplay in that session

ill paypal someone 5 dollars to teach me how to play this game right

>>376313814

Just watch some streamer playing this shit and keep your 5 bucks

>>376313814
Just watch someone else play it

What game

>>376313997

Europa Universalis IV

>>376313903
I looked up a tutorial and the shortest was at least two hours

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>>376313997
Europa Universalis 4

>>376313997
It's [paradox game]
you look at a bunch of really complicated systems of math and manage a million different statistics and there are thousands of options but in reality you actually just invent a reason to claim a neighboring territory then send your number to beat up the enemy's number and whoever's got the biggest number wins. and then map tiles change color and when you've got lots of map tiles in your color you get bored and quit because it's physically impossible for anyone to mount any resistance.

>>376314094

Well, yeah, for understanding the absolute basics. You can start with that one. Make sure to watch the one that includes the expansions you plan on playing with, they change a lot.

>>376314159
RIP in pepperoni, friend

>>376314236
>having to take hour long lessons to play a video game for fun

>>376314212
>whoever's got the biggest number wins

>ignoring shock
>ignoring terrain modifiers
>ignoring luck
>ignoring morale
>ignoring manuverability, so you can arrive first

yeah, just the 'biggest number wins', why do you lie to him like that?

>>376314371
Or you can just pick ottomans and do whatever you want

>>376313504
REEEEEEEE GET THE FUCK OUT KEBABBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

>>376314159

is this from that memester shenryr? I remember him using those atrocious polandballs and playing as Bengal

>>376314519
Its mine, Im trying to get bengal tiger

>>376314439
>you dont just need the biggest number of soldiers!
>these numbers named X, Y, and Z are also very important!

>>376314447

>My Sultan! The coalition has formed against you!

Not trying to be a dick, but my first game went exactly according to that advice. And then literally everyone joined coalition against me and I was fucked.

Still, Ottomans ARE arguably the easiest nation to play, It's just that 'easy' doesn't mean 'autopilot' or something like that

>>376314618
yeah throw every soldier ye got at the enemy that'll work out noicley

>>376314212
my exact experience with stellaris

>>376314212
t. someone who has never played CKII as a vassal or an unreformed pagan

>>376313504
>Not invading Europe
You failed the Ottoman's purpose. 0/10

>>376314618
That is literally every TBS ever

>>376314439
yeah he was wrong.

i've won battles that i thought i was gonna get obliterated because of morale and having better training.
you can also have really nice attrition fights, where your number will be half of your enemy, but when you get in a fight you drop his forces all the way down and you both end up with a stalemate, but in reality his losses were greater.

i found that the game is all about balancing your economy. your war strategy means shit if your troops can't be supplied and trained.

>>376314860
I have played CK2 a million different ways, from single holding count all the way up to byzantine emperor
and it's all the same incongruous bunch of numbers that utterly fails to form a cohesive game. It's like conducting some kind of microsoft excel spreadsheet game over e-mail, except within a program. It's incredible

>>376314947
Attrition is for faggots afraid of decisive battles

>Want to play As Marocco
>Want the achievement conquer all of Sahal and Niger
>Start playing
>Everything is good
>Close to finishing the goal
>Suddenly Spain takes interest in my clay
>They have thrice my troops
>Lol who cares Ottomans are on my side
>Ottomans show up with 3 30K battalions
>Instead gathering all the troopes together they go seperate
>Spain crushes them
>Have -30% warscore
>Peace would mean i would losse 25% of my income and 30% of my troops

Fuck this game

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>>376313504
> "Inshallah, dad! I told you to knock before entering. And, no, you wouldn't understand. Also, I am girl now. Get. Out!"

>>376315056
um if i go into a battle with half of my enemies force, i'm happy with any kills, let alone a decisive outcome, the fuck are you on about.

>>376314618

Well, yes, you need to carefully manage those 6-8 numbers and understand what they actually do.

But why bicker about it now. If that guy ever decides to attack 22k troops stationed in mountain province and equiped with 3-3-0-0 general with his 25k stack and 0-0-5-2 general, he will get it.

>>376314658
If you cant watch an one hour video or play a few failed runs, then this game is not for you. Deal with it

>>376315121
you should see Serbia.
you're literally the bridge between Christian Europe and the Ottomans and the entire time the game tempts you to reclaim land, while giving you booming sea trade to train crazy ass troops.

if you start a war the Ottoman's immediately declare war on you and destroy you, no matter who your ally is.
in my game i was allied with Russia, Ukraine and like half of Eastern Europe, i finally gave in from boredom and they still destroyed me.

>>376316036

I think I saw some streamer deal with that by allying Albania on the first day, just for their 5 shock general and then using him and mountain provinces to weaken Ottomans. Sounds crazy, but it worked, he won that shit with like half the amount of troops Turks had. Not to mention he made them significantly weaker, so other nations beat their shit as well, bascially erasing the Ottoman threat for the rest of the game.

>>376316310
that's next level attention to detail, i should fire this game up again soon.

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>>376313504
kek

>>376313504
>no Vienna
why are you so bad?

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>>376313504
>Overwhelmed by EU4, fucking have no idea what to do or what I'm doing
>Can barely scrape by CK2 before hitting a wall where I don't know what to do next
>played the shit out of Stellaris
>HOI4 is fun as fuck

G-guys, tell me, am I the cancer that's killing Grand Strategy?

>>376317391
>being dramatic
no just the cancer killing 4chan

>>376317391
EU4 is easier than CK2.
Just play the game, you'll figure it out pretty easily. Same with Victoria 2.

>>376317391

>showing interest in all those Grand Strategy games, regardless of results

nah, my friend. The sole fact you care is what keeps them alive, even if barely

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8GIvDWTvKg

CK2 is superior

>>376317391
>play eu4 for the first time, pick pommerania because its my ancestors homeland
>declare random wars wtf am i doing
>try a 2nd time suddenly understand most fo the mechanics
>form prussia
>fight in big wars
>have a satisfying experience
Is it because im autistic?

>>376317391
It's ok anon, Stellaris was my first one too. Try EUIV before CK2 and don't give up.

>>376313647
ah the elitist sperg from gsg arrived

You just color the map

>>376317615
>EU4 is easier than CK2.

Perhaps, but the question is, what you want to do in EU4? Because this is a huge factor.

If you want to just have some fun, then you are okay with just firing up the in-game tutorial and saving the game every 20 years, in case you fuck up beyond repair. I feel like you can achieve what OP's achieved that way. But most people want more. And if you want to play as Serbia or Constantinopol and not die in 10 years, if you want to form HRE as Poland, if you want to do the Sun Invasion or Bengal Tiger achievement or simply take over the world as any nation, you do need specific knowledge of the game, micromanagment and even bit of luck. That's not easy.

>>376318559
>the world as any nation
you realize you'll need to disable most DLC and revert to a really early patch to do that right?

>>376318742
there are many people who can WC as any nation except native americans.

or are there people who have WC'd as native americans too?

>>376317746
i like arumba.

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>>376317883
Are you me? I learned how to play the game playing Pomerania for the same reasons you did. I am pretty sure I got killed by Lubeck about 8 times before I finally got gud and could survive and play the game.

The most fun I ever had in a campaign was my Tabarestan into This is Persia achievement run. The most intensely
I have ever gotten invested in any game was in the moment where I betrayed my only ally the Ottomans as they got jumped by Europe with my relatively tiny Persian state and fought a decades long war to get just enough warscore to cut them off from Egypt in Palestine and then spent the rest of the game desperately trying to survive the Ottoman-Dehli alliance and disasters I was getting and eat all of them before time ran out.

>>376317883
>>376320280
>pick pommerania because its my ancestors homeland
i wish i knew where my white ancestry specifically came from.

>>376313504

ZOMFG(that doesn't exist..heh) jus look at all dat kebab

completley unremoved TOP KEK

blobab !!

+(900)1

>>376320473
why do people get so angry over internet jokes.

>>376320426
At least you know from where your black ancestry came, right?

>>376320574
Severe autism

>>376315173
anzu is not an ethnic turk nor is she religious

>>376317746
kek

sometimes he does the dumbest shit though

>>376313504
>implying I don't immediately shut of my monitor and act suspicious even when I have nothing to hide when my parents enter the room
I did it so much i broke the button and had to buy a new monitor

I always lose interest or start over when something implausible happens in my campaigns. Like if one country blobs too much into territtory they never controlled historically I just fucking give up.

>>376319275
>there are many people who can WC as any nation except native americans
Nope it's actually impossible with most nations, as I said with current patch and dlc.
Back before the big changes to vassal changes it was possible as even Ryukyu.

>>376321901
So the latest patches made the three mountains achievement impossible?

Nah, it didn't. You're just incapable of doing it. Plenty of people still are.

>>376321693
why not just read a book or something?

like actual question here since i thought the appeal of these games (besides autism) is the ability to rerun history in a different way

>>376322069
>So the latest patches made the three mountains achievement impossible?
It's been impossible for years.
Show me a let's play/AAR of someone doing Ryukyu with the lastest build then?
Oh that's right unless you cheat you can't.

>>376317391
>Overwhelmed by EU4, fucking have no idea what to do or what I'm doing
Same here, the tutorial covers pretty much nothing so you are kinda forced to read guides online.

Which I don't really feel like doing after a long hard day of work.

>>376314212
my sides don't exist anymore

>>376322438
>>376318559

EU4 is casual and shallow as fuck.
What is your fucking IQ? 80?

git gud you fucking scrubs

also CK2 shits all over EU4

>>376322553
Calm down, friendo.

anyone have the epic grossgermania pic?

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>>376323016
Which one?

Who actually enjoys these games? It's just "WOWIE GEE I CLICKED ON SOMETHING AND IT TURNED THE COLOR OF MY COUNTRY WOW!". Like, are you all genuinely autistic or something?

>>376323424

it's a meme comic thats meant to represent a /pol/ user playing this game and making germany strong

>>376321052
looks pretty Turkic to me

>>376323825
People enjoy these games. They're enjoyable because they take so long. You have to plot and plan and manage and think about what you are going to do. Then you need to do the same for if you fail at that. Some people like to put time and effort into their rewards.
Does this help you to understand?

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>>376323016

>>376323825

(You)

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>>376323016
>>376324594