Critical failures

>>376289814
>replaying DS1 for the 5th time
>about to do the jump by firelink shrine that leads to the ring of sacrifice
>run up to the ledge
>procede to just run off the ledge, didn't even press jump

>bought godus

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>>376289814
>Accidentally hooked a D.va ult into my team
>Quad kill
>She got potg for it

>>376289814
>playing top gun 1 on nintendo
>fighting that russki bastard in a space shuttle
>dodging and swerving like crazy from missles
>jump up excited as i beat him
>moms picture frame stuff and pictures near me on ground from her work
>nudge picture frame into reset button

>>376290519
This

>finish lvl 5 Ruins in DD
>keep clearing for more treasure
>ambush by Shambler because of 0 light
>get party back into position after shuffling
>get shuffled again
>slowly bleed out and full wipe because healer could never heal

Never have I been so wrecked by a game

>>376291123
why didnt you just flee from the fight? or can you not run from a shambler i never fight the fucker after getting the few trinkets i need

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>Nier 1
>Do several side quests, fishing, gathering
>Move on to fight boss
>Walk next to post box and see its not available to save
>Die several times and an hour or so later decide I just don't have enough health potions
>Remember post box and reset PS3 to jump back to "before the boss"

>>376291295
Oh right, I forgot to mention all my flees failed.

You're also locked into the fight for a few turns.

>>376289814
>Bloody Mary challenge in Antibirth
>Womb I Devil Deal for Abbadon and Sin Robes
>crit fail INT check and take Sin Robes
>crit fail spotcheck and don't notice that I'm not getting any black hearts
>take Abbadon
>die

A thinly veiled D&D thread? Dope.

What class/race do you main, /v/?

>>376291123
>Wasting time trying to get back into position that could be spent dealing damage
What was your setup that you didn't have any skills that allowed rank movement?

>>376291886
Dwarf cleric usually
Also if you play neutral, especially chaotic neutral, you are the worst fucking person and I hate you

>>376291886
>2015+2
>still playing DnD/d20 in general
I moved on to ORE and never looked back.
That said, HOrc Pally

>>376289814

Ok I got this one guys.

Ok so I was playing Persona 5 and the game crashed.

So I go to the store to check out what Persona 5 stuff is there.

So I roll a 1 and buy three packs of costumes at 6.99 fucking USD each.

The base skins look way better than any of the DLC costumes and the fucking swimsuit one is free.

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Anytime in a souls game when I wasn't careful while fighting an enemy and rolled off the edge.

The entirety of XCOM:EU, to the point that I had to resort to save scumming on my first playthrough to beat it.

Same with most of the campaign missions in Age of Empires 2.

Basically, I'm shit at RTS games.

>>376292232
>XCOM
>RTS
nigga u wot

>>376291886
I usually play a Dwarf Fighter. No one else I ever play with wants to play a class that can take hits. I usually end up being the "face" or leader of the party simply because no one else steps up. Pretty funny results considering I usually have bad CHA.

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I tend to roll a 1 on my intelligence score every time a game has autosave.
Because I hate autosave, so I always turn it off. Then I never remember to actually save.

Inevitably, I do something stupid and die, with my last save being 5 hours ago, and I ragequit, vowing that this time I'll learn to save at regular intervals.

>>376292320
thats not really a 1

just a crit in autism.

>be 6
>get a god tier Pokemon Pinball score, highest I've ever gotten by far
>run to the kitchen to show Mum
>roll a one by wearing socks on slippery kitchen tiles
>slip and hit my head on the counter, drop Gameboy and its batteries pop out
>high score gone

>>376292232

Xcom is a straight up turn based tactics game.

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>>376289814
>start first battle in Nocturne
>hard difficulty
>my turn I miss
>enemy hits me
>my turn
>miss
>enemy hits me and I die

>>376291886
Human
Cleric, thief, or monk. Depending on what everyone else is playing

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>>376292398
>boss coming up
>low on health
>haven't saved since I started the game
>LEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY

I might just have a 0 for intelligence actually. I just outright forget the save feature fucking exists most of the time. Savestates are even worse. I have a habit of keeping multiple savestates in case I want to "go back."
I never go back. But sometimes I accidentally load a previous save state and somehow in my infinite ability to be a clumsy oaf sausage finger my keyboard trying to fix it in a panic that I overwrite my later state with the now hours old state.

I've got fantastic hand-eye coordination, but if I'm not actively looking at something I'd say my critical failure rate is on a roll of 1-5.

>>376291886
Dragonkin Wizard

>ITT: are you winning son?

>>376289814

>Dark Souls 3

>Get to Borial Valley

>see good ol Onion Knight and share a toast

>Greirat wants to go on a mission to Borial

>Get distracted by the underground portion and see Onion Knight again

>Find Greirat's body in the sewer

>OH FUCK WHY

>I was supposed to let Onion Knight in Borial Valley to protect him

F-U-C-K

>>376293251
I beat ds3 as a mage with the simplest ending, didnt go through most optional areas but I find it harder to stick with a new character till the end then any other souls game. Beat them all multiple times too, just not ds3

>15 years old
>Fallout: New Vegas

i'm getting too old for this shithole

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>Playing Binding of Isaac
>Empty out the floor I'm on, and looking for a way to heel before the boss
>Find Hematesis pill and decide to use it for the heart drop, there's no enemies left so I figure I'll be fine with temporary drop to 1 heart
>Forgot I picked up an item earlier that causes Isaac to randomly shit bombs
>The moment I use the pill, a bomb spawns and kills me

>>376289814
>15yro
>fallout new vegas
>rated M

This is why shit tards complaining about todd this todd that while they barely even have the maturity to understand fallout as a whole.

>>376291886
I don't main anything, but right now I'm rolling up a female centaur fighter tank.

How about every fucking time I try to play a game competitively. I'm such a fucking loser it makes me want to kill myself.

>>376293847
your female centaur tribal or civilized ?

>>376289814
>playing hardcore Grim Dawn
>lvl 24
>enter spined Cove
>get rekt by corrupt shrine spawns
>hit escape to leave game
>accidentally hit windows key with my hand
>get back on game window
>dead

>>376293847
what are you going to do if you have to climb anything?

>>376293641
I don't even own Fallout 4. Or rather, I do, but don't play it and avoid drama.

>>376293925
Civilized but from a kingdom across the sea, cultivated as muscle for the smaller variant.

>playing Fallout for the first time
>give Ian an automatic weapon
>he misses and ends up hitting me with the full clip
>critical hit
>dead

>>376293942
I could invest in some specialty boots of spiderwalk?

>>376294134
what if campaign is a low magic world autist?

>>376294169
Uh, my DM's isn't?

I could also get a wizard to cast levitate.

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>playing Hexen
>about an hour in, quicksaving constantly (F5)
>whiff a platform jump and start to fall to my death
>hit quickload (F6)
>actually hit quicksave
>the single save file is now me mid-fall into a death pit
>no way out of this, no other saves, have to restart the entire game

>>376294224
darn you got a okay dm then. mine is low magic because he grew up with 1 to 2 and is really just using it as a way to vent about his personal work life.

The "puzzle" room in the dwarf stronghold ruins in Icewind Dale 1 took me ages to figure out. Probably the biggest case of the stupid I had in a video game.

>>376294134
they'd have to be horse shoes, should prob cost double since you have 4 hooves.

better hope it doesn't come up before you can afford them.

>>376294224
i'm sure the wizard won't bitch about having to give up a spell slot for just you. better hope he preps it every day. even then, you might need to climb more than once a day.

>>376294347
>tyrant gm found

kek.

>>376294347
Someone in my party is already planning to craft armor as a side thing, that should help minimize the cost.

>>376293479
rip

>>376291886
Horc Fighter/Bladelock. My summoned weapon is a giant fuck off bat.

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>it's a "DM thinks critical failure means something absolutely retarded will happen" episode
>it's a "fellow players think whatever they say must happen if they get a crit 20" episode

>>376294230
>playing Max Payne 2 on PS2
>for some reason I decide to save only on the first slot overwriting it every time
>later on what I think was one of the last missions of the game
>some rooms are exploding and you have to go past them fast
>get in a room and save, thinking it was a safe room
>it starts exploding before I can leave it
>stuck in an infinite loop where Max life ends in a explosion with no way out

To this day I haven't finished Max Payne 2.

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>>376295656
>in a dungeon
>find a strange symbol on a stone
>use Knowledge: Religion
>roll a one
>DM makes me fucking erase knowledge: religion from my character sheet
Yes, it makes perfect sense that because I couldn't decipher the meaning of this one symbol I forget everything I ever learned about the divine, thank you

>>376291886
My group broke up around the time 3rd ed came out, since no one wanted to fork out for new books.

I didn't main anything since I was almost guaranteed to die almost every session (occasionally due to my own fault or sticking to RP, but mostly due to shitty luck) to the point where I'd end up rolling randomly to build characters, have people dump pre-mades on me, or digging through obscure supplements for wtf race/class combos.

This trend has continued into CRPGs but at least I have save games to go back to.

Good times.

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>>376295656
>roll to intimidate
>crit 20
>am now wanted by the law for bearing resemblance to some barbarian warlord in fuckoff land
>wind up executed because i failed the diplomacy check and the party didn't even bother

I hope to one day get a good group.

>>376297227
That sounds completely reasonable

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>>376293251
>borial
You do know that "boreal" is an actual word at least, right?

>>376291886

My friend recently bought everything needed for Pathfinder and we started a campaign about 4 weeks ago with no prior experience from anyone.

By the fourth session all of us understand the basics of the game and now we can actually enjoy RP.

Human Ranger

>>376289814
>Fire Emblem Fates
>crucial final turn against Hinoka
>grunt comes up to me with a %1 chance of critting
>gets critical hit
>kills Belka
>turn off game for 6 months
I quite literally rolled a 1, my dude.

>>376297489
>try do get a good roll
>get the best roll you can possibly get
>something bad happens instead
in what universe is that considered reasonable? reasonable?

>>376297818
>implying you didn't roll a 1 when you bought Fates

>>376289814
>6 years old
>Xmas
>Best aunt sends me a gameboy and Pokemon Yellow
>Just beat Brock with 10/10 Mankey bro
>Pikachu gets poisoned
>Freak out every time the screen goes ehhehhehh and looks glitchy fro poison
>Think my game is dying
>Save literally every time it happens because I don't want to lose Pikachu and Mankey to my game glitching out

>>376297837
Naw, the bad stuff happened because of your subsequent rolls

>>376291886
Dick ass elf thief

>>376297793
Wait until you really understand the mechanic.

>>376297996
He wouldn't have had to make those rolls if he wasn't wanted in the first place

>>376289814
>trying to catch Zapdos
>not my save, party has a Mr. Mime in it
>grind it down with Psychic
>hmm, I can probably squeeze a little bit more damage in with Metronome before trying to catch it, since another psychic will kill it
>use Metronome
>IT USES FUCKING PSYCHIC

>>376295656
I have a funny story about a boss rolling a triple crit failure actually
>Party is exploring a small, but mountainous island in search for a cure for a sickened, story important NPC
>Bed down for the first night, DM makes us roll perception checks
>It was the call of a Harpy Siren, passing the check means you fell under its thrall
>Two of three party members (including me) get whisked off to its lair
>Third member, fortunately a ranger, managers to track us down
>Snoops on Harpy before engaging, to find it has a huge mirrored rock/crystal that it's admiring itself in, preening and cooing at itself
>Me and Fighter are in a trance like sleep, but the surrounding imply it rips apart other creatures to use body parts and fluids as decoration/make up
>Ranger attempts to sneak further in to free us for the fight
>Fuckin' trips on some rocks
>Harpy screeches and gets ready to attack
>DM rolls
>Rolls a second time, kind of winces
>On the third roll he literally collapses his face into his hands
>"The harpy is taken by complete surprise by your intrusion. As it goes to attack, it fumbles on itself, flails around wildly, and promptly smashes itself into its makeshift mirror"
He was pissed because it was supposed to be a boss encounter, but he honors his critical failures.
We were later attacked by its mate after getting ourselves into a literal cliffhanger, but it was mostly fine

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>Hat Fortress 2
>playing engy on payload
>enemy spy was the definition of suck-ass
>tries to sap my stuff like 30 times
>fails yet again
>getting bored I decide to taunt to be funnyerer
>It was a different fucking spy
>dead ringer, magnums my head and saps my shit
>we lose
>commit sodoku in irl life

>>376289814
I bought natural doctrine without looking at anything other than the cover.

I am now a changed man

>use equivalent of devil trigger to smash a horde of slimes
>roll a one and fall into a slime
>roll a one again and struggle to exit the slime
>roll a one AGAIN and drown to death in the slime
It's not fair, at least my dungeon master let me start over from a previous point; he was laughing the whole time though.

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>>376291886
Paladin.

>>376291886
Hork barb with fighter splash

I win almost every damage race and never die. It's amazing.

>>376298269
Crit fail rules are stupid as fuck in games with linear dice mechanics. When you can line up trainees against a training dummy for a whole day and the dummies will win because the trainees are fucking killing themselves, something is horribly wrong, and it's even more wrong when your level 20 Fighter has a higher chance of fucking himself in the ass than a fresh recruit does because he's got 4 attacks he can critically fail on as opposed to the recruit's 1.

>>376298296
>commit sodoku in irl life
Teach me how to shitpost from beyond the grave so that I may leave this mortal coil.
Also that's not rolling a 1, that's being a cocky fucktard.

>>376291886
I'll play whatever the party needs me to but the character I had the most fun with, mechanics-wise at least, was an elf Warblade.

>>376298412
It's funny though

>>376298412
I agree, it's just a memorable moment from a beautiful campaign cut too short. Any DM worth their salt and experience knows how to dance around the rules to create a pleasing experience.

>>376298073

I mean very light role playing, because we are new people are embarrassed or scared about asking questions, doing accents etc.

It has gotten much better in regards to the speed and flow of the game rather than fighting with everyone which way we should go next for 40 minutes.

>>376298412
A good way of dealing with Crit fails on attacks, I've found, is making the crit fail end the standard actions such as "the enemy sidesteps in such a way that you are thrown off-balance. Your turn ends." If using a system with guns or something, "You're out of ammo, it'll take a move/standard/whatever action to reload."

>>376298514
It's tolerable for lighthearted games, even if I still think it's fucking stupid and there's way more interesting shit you can do. The problem is when some chucklefuck retard decides he wants to take that rule into his 'serious, low magic, gritty campaign' and suddenly level 20 Monks are fisting themselves 40% of the time they attack.

>>376298878
Just put save points and it's good.

>>376293939
Wtf is the point in playing hardcore if you try to weasel out of dying by quitting?

>>376298968
That's how basically everyone plays HC. Ironically, D3 is the only one I can think of that doesn't let you get away with that.

>>376293939
The windows key and the escape key are literally on opposite ends of the keyboard, how do you fuck up that badly?

>>376298412
You've never encountered an idiot with a sharp implement before, have you?

>playing mgs1
>torture scene
>had not saved since psycho mantis
>"you haven't saved in awhile, if you die it's game over"
>fail because I suck at mashing.
>dont even bother picking the game back up for weeks after that

>d&d 3.5
>our mage is using something equivalent of a magical nuclear reactor
>casts wish on it
>rolls a 1

and nothing was ever the same

>>376299535
did you already have the stealth camo?

>>376290262
>the jump by firelink shrine that leads to the ring of sacrifice

The what now? Is there some secret area I never knew of until now?

>>376299757
The bridge under the sewer that leads to undead burg

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>>376299614
>coworker invites me to play pathfinder with him and his friends
>say fuck it and go
>having a really good time for my first tabletop game
>finally get to some combat
>here we go it's my first turn!
>drop my sword

>>376299839
What bridge? What sewer? I've never heard of this before.

>Playing Halo multiplayer with friend.
>First time using xbox controller
>"Hold X to pick up weapon"
>Press A because of dualshock muscle memory
>Jump into the air and get my head sniped off

>>376300023
directly out of firelink, as you set off toward the first bell

>>376291886
Human Beserker/Mage or Fighter/Thief

or Inquisitor. Inquisitors are baller as fuck.

>>376300023
there's the sewer tunnel you take from firelink to the undead burg. it's below that, you have to jump from the cliff below the stairs to a platform under the sewer tunnel. the merchant you meet in the depths also relocates there later in the game.

>>376294230
I had something similar where I saved in the start of Circle of Doom (DOOM 2) with only a silver of hp left and most ammo missing.

But in my case it was still possible and made the level fun, and challenging as hell.

>>376291886
Bard human named Todd Howard

>>376300023
So does that mean you never met Domhnall after the depths?

>>376300207
for some reason I read 'beserker' as 'beekeeper'

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>>376291886
>playing default race
It's like your imagination is severly lacking!
Wizard Kitsune

>>376299690
no

>>376300450
Then you should have just taken the easy way out and ridden the bro-mobile with otacon

>>376300579
yeah but I was a fucking faggot that refused to get the bad ending so I used a spoon to cheese the mashing segment

>>376297837

He got a good roll on intimidating someone. Intimidation is not very nice and therefore garners some attention from the law. He did a very good intimidate.

If you roll a d20 to jump off a cliff you may do some flips on the way down but the fall will still kill you.

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>>376289814
>playing 100% Orange juice
>have more than enough stars to win, 2 squares away from home on my turn
>roll 1

>>376299980
>play with my lvl 17 halfling warblade
>kill equivalent of two companies of enemies
>slashin n dashin #YOLOSWAG
>fail 1 roll critically
>get 1shot by a mounted lancer

rip in peace my death goddess redhead, betty.

>>376295869
The stone had hacked you
E.Y.E..jpg

>>376289814
>finish warehouse mission in bloodlines
>accidentally used a bloodpoint before the conversation started
>my character goes to frenzy and gets killed

>>376291886
Im playing a level 18 Githzerai Wilder at the moment

everything i do is save or die, or then i just use Fusion with our ToB character and make the GM shit bricks.

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>>376300447
>Being a special snowflake

I always make human and then build up a personality and character arc as I go because you can fit human in any story and you won't be a group destroyer cause you're not making something that doesn't fit with anything else.

>>376298269
Reminds me of a boss fight with an insanely strong Chaos Psyker that my DM made for Dark Heresy.

DM rolls to activate a psyker attack:
Oops! Psychic phenomena!
Oops! Perils of the Warp!
Oops! Warp Feast!
>A rift in reality is torn open and the Psyker is sucked into the warp with a little burping noise. He is no more.

>>376300447
im a weeb too but you have to remember:

weebs and /tg/ DO NOT MATCH WELL

>Ywn tornado throw a demon lord through two prismatic walls ever again

shit was cash yo

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>>376289814
>Playing The Longest Journey
>Stuck on a ship - need to find a way off somehow
>I look through everything and try every possible combination - can't figure it out
>After 1 hour of going through the same shit over and over again, hoping for something new to happen, I finally admit defeat and check a guide
>Turns out, there was an axe you needed in a dark corner in one of the rooms - my monitor's brightness setting was set too low so I simply couldn't see it.

>>376300894
That's what i used to do but you can only play the same race for so long in vidya and dnd. I wanted to try something new and having a fluffy tail was worth it.
My group of 6 has only one human anyway.

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>Far Cry 2
>'Realism' damage and AI combat mod, hardest difficulty
>swiggity swooty up to the cliff overlooking base
>roll past guards at gate through ferns and grass
>see sniper, have nothing but AR / pistol/ RPG
>aim RPG, best take him out first and run to cover
>RPG hits blade of grass and does a wardance in front of me, just spinning on the dirt
>grass on fire, explodes on a rock, whole base alerted, me bleeding hard

Three times in a row this happened.