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ITT: Cringeworthy vidya-related shit you did when you were younger

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ITT: Cringeworthy vidya-related shit you did when you were younger

>I have pointy ears so I used to tell people I was "Hylian", which is a country in europe
>once someone told me they knew that was from Legend of Zelda and I said it was based on a real place
>>
>>258432927
That's pretty gay, OP.
I used to take my Gameboy literally everywhere as a kid but my mother refused to leave me home alone until I was like 12, so I feel like it was somewhat justified. This woman wanted to get her nails or hair done, she'd make me sit there next to her, shit like that.
But this lead to me taking it EVERYWHERE.
>school
>toilet
>all meals
>friend's houses
>church
>weddings
>funerals
>>
>>258432927
>I have pointy ears
What?
>>
>>258434169
He's Hylian.
>>
I wore a Sega Michael Jackson Moonwalker t-shirt
>>
>>258432927
>Pointy ears
Post if real so we can see just how pointy
>>
me and my friend made up our own Final Fantasy characters and plot
we'd act it out using plastic cricket bats as swords
>>
>be 7
>go to a face-painter at a party
>he offers to make me a ninja turtle
>tell him I want to be Link
>he never heard of him
>explain that he wears a green cap and has kind of a peach-colored face
>"I have orange, how about that?"
>Happily go the rest of the day with my face painted entirely orange
>>
I was at the swimming pool with friends:

>I loved MM
>Loved the Zora playstyle
>Always thought how cool it was when you swam from neutral stance
>Zora Link does a somersault in the water and then shoots off like a torpedo
>Im in the water IRL
>Try the somersault
>Water rushes and floods inside my nasal cavity due to the somersault
>Stand upright and choke like a bitch
>Water and snot pouring and sliming out my nose
>>
Anyone have the story about the anon who imitated Mario to the point of screaming "mama mia" when he broke his foot?
>>
>>258432927
I literally threw a fit and cried when my cousin didn't let me use the Frog suit in SMB3 when I was 7.
>>
Nothing. I was always self-aware and my parents were pretty strict and made sure I didn't do anything embarrassing.

I guess the biggest thing was on the playground I challenged a guy to a single card Pogeyman game and winner takes best card from the others collection.

I played a Haunter and he used Mr. Mime. Since we had no coin I said status effects were instant. I put him to sleep disabling pogeyman power and promptly beat and took his Blastoise holo.

Then just walked away.

Then I guess I have my video game friend (i.e. someone I only associated with at his house/online for vidya and only waved to in social situations) wore the Lunar pendent from Eternal Blue that you get with pre-order. He wore it through middle school and HS up to end of Jr. year.
>>
>>258432927
I used to tell people that I've seen pokemon in real life
>>
>>258435438
When I was in grade school I would tell my friends people in Japan worshiped pokemon
>>
>>258435567
That's not a lie though
>>
>used to replay the ending of metal gear solid over and over

I just loved beating liquid up on top of Rex
>>
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>>258433973
>funerals
>>
One time I ran to the bus with my arms behind me.
>>
>>258436739
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdAQSLBXVRo
>>
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I don't tip.
>>
>>258436739

I used to run with my arms firmly at my side, not moving...I did not have a fun middle school experience
>>
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>>258436854
>>
I did the Naruto run once, you know the one. People were looking at me like what the fuck is this nigga doing, so I never did it again
>>
>>258436854
>Cleaning gloves
>Not even red shoes
>that slow retarded running and tumbling
>>
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I once told someone my dad works at Nintendo.
>>
>>258435928
Spoiler that shit.
>>
>>258436854
W2C those nikes at the beginning?
>>
>>258434415
MY OWN CLONE
>>
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Sometimes I actually do want to just stop existing from embarrassment.
>>
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I used to firmly believe that actual pokemon would travel through the link-cable when trading and I spend hours trying to unplug the cable at the right moment to see if the pokemon would fall out.
>>
>>258437331
>>258437556
filtered
>>
>>258432927
Show us your ears, Spock.
>>
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>>258437757
Fucking technology how does it work
>>
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>>258432927

So, this is one of those things
where, I read it... and I was like
>yeah, that's ok... kids whatever
but then the more I thought about it,
the more began to realize
OP is a faggot
>>
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>>258436854
You're telling me he didn't even have ONE black friend to play Shadow?
>>
>>258437757
That's cute
>>
>>258435119

Your cousin sounds like a fuckin bitch
>>
>>258437974
>>258438239
:3
>>
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When I was like twelve and got real mad with a videogame I'd take the disc out, place it in front of me, and begin a calm and collected discourse as to why the game in question had made me angry.

I broke Jak 2 like this. When I finished my speech I saw Jak's smug as fuck face in the game case and just slammed my fist down the disc almost instantly.

Shit broke.
>>
>>258432927
i actually shed a tear playing vanilla WoW as a young pepe
i had just finished all the quests at razor hill for the first time and an orc NPC said "may your blades never dull"
i was both blown away at the thought of blizzard putting in more endearing one-liners for NPC's to say as you help them, as well as lost in thought of being cared for by my fellow orcs.
>>
>>258434415

That's not cringeworthy unless you were in high school or something. Otherwise, that's just how kids play.
>>
>>258434345
>>258437819

No, you guys are creepy.
>>
>>258438851
whoa man...
>>
>>258439165
What a boring prick
Ears or GTFO
>>
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>>258434625
>>
>>258434415
Me and a friend had some shit called "soul dimension"

clear KH ripoff even though I'd never played it.

His character was a ripoff of Link even though Link was an actual character

he once wanted me to look at him in the shower when we were like 8
>>
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Used to play zombies with an equally autistic fat friend.
We'd walk around moaning like zombies and trying to eat other kids turning them into zombies, as well as each other.

It was all well and good until we kept doing it in Highschool. No one wanted to play Zombies in highschool. ;_;
>>
>>258436854
Thirty whole seconds of shoe tying.
>>
>>258439339

Early form of autism at it's finest.
>>
>>258439439
Where were all these gay horny little kids when I was little?
>>
>>258438197
>Black could be anywhere
>>
>>258432927
Ran like sonic
>>
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>loved mario as a kid
>even mained mario in super smash
> made my mom call me mario
>had an exam one day in kindergarten
>wrote mario instead of my first name
>threw the teacher on a wild goose chase trying to figure out who's paper it was
>she was pissed
>got a call home
>later that year my mom bought me a wario game for my gameboy
>we wario now
>another exam comes around in that same kindergarten class
>teacher gets all the papers handed out
>everything is silent
>raise my hand
>"yes anon?"
>"um, how do you spell wario?"
>"...just write your real name, anon."
>mfw
>>
>>258439696
He wasn't gay anon, I know because he shot me down when I tried years later
>>
>>258434582
She knew you were a fruit.
>>
>>258440016
Oh, that's a shame
Sorry, bro
>>
>>258440204
You might even say he was an annoying orange.
>>
>>258438851
>lecturing a video game
10/10
>>
i used to take the same vydia magazine to school and talk about them to poor kids who couldnt afford to buy or play videogames ever.
>>
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I played Halo and thought it was good
>>
>>258440623
You were an asshole.
>>
>>258434625
Haha that reminds me.
I went to the coast, and you know how you can start swimming and bounce off the sand almost right at the beach in MM?

I tried that. With clothes on. At like three feet of water.
>>
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Not really too over the top, but I used to have such a mancrush on Jak from Jak 2. I used to always try to talk, walk, and just kind of carry myself like he does in the game cutscenes.
>>
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>Me and my friends played games of "Smash Bros" where we would all pretend to be our favorite Nintendo characters (I chose K. Rool) and went on adventures
>I'd watch Pokemon, Super Mario Bros Show, and the DKC cartoon whenever they were on
>I'd spend hours reading those Pokemon novels

It was a simpler time.
>>
>>258438197
Asian is the next best thing
>>
I used to pretend that computer AIs in video games were other people playing the game at the same time as me since I never had anyone to play with.
>>
I used to run through the hallways in community college with my arms behind like sonic

Also used to take un eaten onion rings when I ate out and carry them to the parking lot and run in direct lines to collect them like sonic
>>
>>258436854
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCIUfek7y2M
>>
Whenever I thought a girl was cute in school I'd say "damn babe I wanna fart through your butt."
>>
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>>258440658
>>
I used to say Nintendo was gay and for little kids, even when I was a little kid. I'm genuinely embarrassed at how long it took for me to stop being such a faggot. I was 20 before I stopped being that kind of "gamer" for good. So many wasted years.
>>
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>>258439303
Not OP, but mine are pointy
>>
>>258438197
yes, becayuse black fur = black skin
you are the dumbest asshole
>>
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>>258441598
>>
>>258441539
To be fair, nintendo ever since the gamecube was released has been pretty kiddy. The problem with that logic is more thinking that kid's entertainment is necessarily inferior.
>>
I also remember pretending being Sam Fischer
>>
>>258432927
>>258434415

I don't know if it's cringeworthy or anything but I got into zelda and started fighting my friend with a wooden sword and shield. He got into Kingdom Hearts and started using a broadsword. This started in like third grade, later at about the point of fifth grade my shield finally got split in half from all the abuse. About that time I switched to a two handed weapon and he started taking Taekwondo. There was a day around seventh grade where I went at him with my sword and he had decided to use the same one he had for a few years, it was just another spar. I did manage to knock his sword out of his hand and across the yard that day though. Around sophomore year in high school I knew I was moving away and had been training some local kids along with my friend to use swords and such, my friend took three of us on with a broom handle and won.

Now I'm in college and I still use heavy ass blades with no problem, I guess I got a bit built and he's a fifth degree black belt. We still meet up and spar every now and then and it's all because of Zelda and Kingdom Hearts, is that cringeworthy?
>>
>>258441743
>>258441598
Reveal to us the secrets of the fae! We'll be eternally grateful for the key to immortality that you elves hold.
>>
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Is playing metroid prime: hunters on the school bus in 7th grade cringeworthy?

These fucking black kids grabbed my ds and dropped it out of one of the windows, I was on the verge of tears.
>>
>at a friends birthday party
>another kid brought over Goldeneye
>he leaves party early
>i live across the street basically
>i decide to take his copy of Goldeneye home
>plan was to give it back to him next day or whatever
>proceed to unlock tons of stuff he didn't have
>proceed to be called a theif by his mother
>give game back confused
>>
>>258437712
Thanks for posting Nedroid. I always enjoy reading it.
>>
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>tfw looking back at all the "cool gamer shirts" you wore in high school
>>
I used to try to bounce off walls like in titanfall
>>
>>258442092
The elvish secret to immortality that I possess is hating video games.
Seriously though, it's pretty cool having elf ears.
>>
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>>258439984
>threw the teacher on a wild goose chase trying to figure out who's paper it was

Reminds me of the time we fucked with our 5th grade sub.

>have 5th grade sub
>she's foreign as fuck so she knows next to nothing about America
>she comes in and passes around a paper
>tells us to write our names down on the paper
>we all write retarded or vidya related names
>mfw she seriously read out loud "Hilf Munter"
>She eventually catches on and calls up the principle
>mfw he reads the list and loses his shit along with the class as well
>>
>>258442359
>tfw hid your power level
>>
>>258442205
why didn't u beat their black asses
>>
>>258441598
>>258441743
Your handsome as fuck anon.
No homo thou.
>>
>>258442359
>tfw catholic highschool so couldn't wear cool gamer shirts
I'm still pretty pissed about it. How else am I going to let others know what I enjoy.
>>
>>258442205
Nahh because some hooting niggnogs didn't understand your technology so they destroyed it.
>>
>>258442546
>vidya-playan goober
>beating anyone's ass
You know why.
>>
>>258442359
i feel bad... my parents got me videogame and ironic/snarky tshirts I never wore unless I was at home. Part of me wishes I appreciated them more, part of me is glad I had the good sense not to wear them in public.
>>
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I used to tell my mates I played blitz ball
I feel so fucking dumb now but I told them and because none of them had a ps2 so they belived me when I explained what blitz ball was

Shamefu dispray
>>
>>258441518
I know, Cooper... I know. And I'm sorry.
>>
>>258442546
I was way more out of shape than I am now and it was like 4 on 1

I managed to grow some balls somewhere down the line but yeah it was bad.
>>
>>258434415
I did that too
>>
>>258441689
that is exactly what it means

underneath pale fur is pale skin, underneath dark fur is often melanistic skin
>>
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>>258442546
>scrawny white kid vs. 2+ athletically superior black warriors
>>
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>>258442592
Aww, shucks anon.
>>
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I used to run like InuYasha.
>>
>>258442205
This is the shit that causes school shootings
>>
>>258443028
>what are polar bears
>>
>>258434415
every kid has probably larped once in their lives.

only gets pathetic when you're older.
>>
>>258443207
At first I thought this was someone I knew, but then I realized he was still autistic as fuck and wouldn't realize the error of his ways.
>>
I made up entire video games I owned and would describe them to my friend and go through details about various levels. These games weren't even real. And I started because I swore my friend didn't actually own the games he told me about and was making up games but looking back I have no idea why I suspected him of making up fictional games that he had and my response of making up games was pretty stupid.
>>
>>258443309
This is soon to be a legitimate question.
>>
>>258441398
underrated post
>>
>>258443047
>be short red-haired kid
>continually fight off black boys 2-3 years older than me
>eventually get jumped by crowd
>hit one in face with stick shredding his bottom lip
>also master pokemon card trader
>>
>>258443207
I use to run like Sonic in 7th grade gym.
>>
>>258443207
>tfw I used to innately act like InuYasha around this girl I like hoping she would catch my tsundere vibes

Why didn't someone kick my ass and let me know how much of a faggot I was being?
>>
>>258438851
I'M GONNA KILL PRAXIS
>>
I would put those magnet sticks that connect with little metal balls up my ass and pretend that I was cybernetic ally linked to a mewtwo that was controlling me in a human on human battle in the shower.

[Spoiler] I lost one of the sticks and pooped it out a few days later [/spoiler]
>>
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>that kid who farted in class
PLEASE TELL ME YOU AREN'T THAT KID /v/
>>
we used to RP in my backyard sometimes it was really gay now that i look back.
>>
>in high school years ago, during lunch
>there's this ginger kid with pale skin and shit, stands out like a sore thumb due to low ginger count in that school
>there was also this other kid who screwed around constantly making sex jokes and shit
>funny kid runs up to ginger kid and tackles him
>they both hit the concrete ground pretty hard, funny kid says out of the blue "How big's yer dick?"
>the few people who were walking near him were laughing
>ginger gets up but funny kid pushes him over really hard and yells "WHAT'S YOUR DICK SIZE?!?!?"
>he gets suspended, forever known throughout the school as "Dick Dude"
>girls kept asking him how big his dick was and then laughing
>>
>>258443028
what are polar bears

also, shadow's mouth area is furless and isn't black. which means
his skin isnt the same color as his fur
which means a light colored person wearing black makes sense cosplaying shadow, it doesn't need to be a black person
>>
>>258443450
>tfw this is the last generation that will know about the North Pole
Fucking War on Christmas.
>>
>>258443047
I have a roomate with aspergers who I know from highschool that bit a black kid for calling him a "Retarded kid who just plays video games all day". They're friends now but for the longest time his nickname was "teef". Not Teeth like the things in your mouth but Teef.

I saw the report from the school office and I shit you not the principle wrote "Autistic = biting" on it
>>
>>258443542
Words can not describe how thankful I am that this generation is finally regretting its actions.
>>
I fucked five dudes to promote my not-video game
>>
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>>258432927
Back when I was really young and didn't know how to read properly, I'd make up the dialogue for RPGs.
>>
>>258436854
kek
>>
>>258443572
Fucking phone Fucking up spoiler text
>>
>>258442079
Look up boffer or its more cringe-worthy cousin larping. Shit like this is pretty common, at least on college campuses or in some bigger places.
>>
>>258432927
>"Hylian", which is a country in europe
>which is a country in europe
u wot.
>>
>used to say struth because I heard it when I was playing ty the tasmanian tiger
>>
>>258443587
I did once when I was in 6th grade. Was sick and I coughed and farted at the same time
>>
>>258438851
You got lucky, imagine if that happened to a game worth playing.
>>
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>>258443572
>>
>>258443707
Nope he fucked it up.
>>
>>258443587
Inb4 that creepy kid's steam page that makes everybody feel like a child rapist
>>
>>258443943
HE IS ME
>>
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>>258443587
you fucking know it
>it was story time in 4th grade
>we were sitting on that carpet that is really fucking hard
>i was sitting like number 53 in the pic in the back
>directed all the methan sulfur and posphorous my 9 year old ass coul muster at everyone
>ripped like 10 second long one then just laughed my way out of class as teacher was yelling at me to leave
>sat in the hall for like 30 minutes knowing everyone else had to sit in my stink
>literally laughed for 24 hours straight
still laugh some times when i think about it
>>
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>>258443587
>Implying all kids weren't that kid at one point
>>
>>258443587
I farted so much in 4th grade apparently I don't remember but I farted so much the teacher actually got a vhs recording of it and sent it home for my parents to watch.
>>
>>258444004
WAHT A TWIST
>>
>>258438851
My older sister smashed a controller over my head when I beat her in mario party. At east you lost a disc and didn't get head trama
>>
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>>258432927
>"Hylian", which is a country in europe
Sure, whatever makes you Americans happy.
>>
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>>258443492
>be black kid
>have black group of friends
>at least 10 of us
>only own 2 bike among all of us
>used to horde everyone onto the 2 bikes and ride to the "rich" part of town
>dumb white kids would just leave their bike laying on the ground
>d-block em and then haul ass
>mfw each of us rode back home on our own bikes, some ever with 2

I regret nothing.
>>
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>>258438851
>>
Anyone have the Captain Falcon salute story? I haven't seen it in years.
>>
>>258444142
He means that he told his friends that Hylian was a country in Europe you idiot
>>
I used to try to run like Tommy Vercetti.
>>
>>258441235
are you me?
>>
>>258444014
All through high school I would rip insane deadly corpse farts in our computer class. I recall the jocks across me talking about Halo 2 and bitching about San Andreas starring a black person. Nobody ever figured out it was me. But I did it many times in the class and got to watch everyone's disgusted faces and laughing about it.
>>
>>258444089
FART NOISE
>>
>>258444162
Oh wow
>>
>>258441951
The problem with that logic is that today, kids don't want kiddy, they want FPS's set in Afghanistan.
>>
>>258444142
Fuck I don't have the skills but someone should edit a map so there is an island between UK and Denmark that is the country of "Hylian".
>>
>>258444147
>literally scum
Worthless nigger.
>>
>>258437080
I did the Sora/Naruto arms way behind me once. Just once. Still get shit for it a decade later
>>
>>258444147
>have black group of friends
>>at least 10 of us
>>only own 2 bike among all of us
>>used to horde everyone onto the 2 bikes and ride to the "rich" part of town
>>dumb white kids would just leave their bike laying on the ground
Yeah I used to jack scooters and break into cars. Good times.
>>
>>258444015
>fart only once
>guy near me notices
>doesn't say anything
>doesn't yell "LMAAO ANON FARTED!!!"
We need more people like that in this planet
>>
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>>258444014
>Being the kid that got off on farting in class
>>
>>258437712
I've found the best way to drown out the embarrassment from stupid kid shit I've done is to remember stupid shit other kids did.
>>
Zora coast man here. If I've had a rough day I will take a bath while thinking of the Coffee Break song in Earthbound. Works great.
>>
>>258443587
Fucking shit. In 8th grade there was a kid who farted in class every single day. He would always laugh and we would always get pissed. He made it his thing. Every day the same period he would let out a fart. Everyone hated him. I remember later near the end of the year he was feeling bad about having no friends and grabbed a sharpened pencil and tried to cut his wrists in the middle of another class.
>>
>>258444162

Did...did you make that just now?
>>
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>>258444196
I am not familiar with this story, but I am intrigued...
>>
>>258444142
You're a fuckin idiot.
>>
>>258444401
Sad. Which leaves nintendo being in the genre of kidlike games that no kid has anymore. Appeals to a strange type of gamer, which includes me.
>>
>>258444431
Enjoy walking to the corner store faggot. I think me and my boys are gonna ride up to 7/11 and grab some mixed slushies.
>>
>>258444493
You're a modern day genius, I just tested it and it works.
>>
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>Maybe '97 or '98
>Had original Warcraft Battle Chest (before Battle.net)
>Bought Playstation/Saturn WC2 strategy guide (same missions)
>Brought strategy guide to school
>Read during recess with fellow idiot
>Told classmates I was casting Polymorph on them, refused to elaborate

To this day, I tell myself no one heard me, or no one remembers.
>>
>>258441743

I can tell that's from surgery, you complete queer.
>>
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>>258444162
>>
I used to wear funny underwear on penis inspection day so the principal would chuckle.

Later I realized I was actually getting molested.

He was such a jokester, that guy!
>>
>>258444562
Yeah. His story was particularly funny to me.
>>
>>258444562
I think so. That anon is amazing.
>>
>>258432927
Me and some friends used to run around elementary school pretending we were dragon ball characters
>>
>>258444739
>grab
You mean steal.
Enjoy getting raped in prison, fuckboy.
>>
>>258442079
that's actually pretty sick, mane
>>
I used to throw shoes at my PS1.
But that's because the CD drive was failing and hitting the console made it read the disc. And my hands were already sore from hitting it.
Still kinda cringeworthy seeing a kid hitting his console.
>>
>>258444867
Oh that whacky principal.
>>
>>258444781
Thanks anon, glad I could help.
>>
>>258444918
>implying anyone can catch me on my new hummer bike
>>
>>258444493
Thank you. How have I not thought of this. You are a true hero.
>>
>>258441004
he did have a certain swagger
>>
>>258435232

I wore that pendant to middle school for like two days before I realised it was gay as shit


at least I realised it on my own
>>
>I took the japanese class
>>
>>258444162
>those tears welling up
10/10 it's adorable.
>>
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>>258444887

Kudos
>>
>>258432927

Not what I did but my friend used to cosplay as girl characters in vidya.


He doens't do it as much now but he still can pull it off well.

He did tomoko in an anime convention recently.

he's really short and skinny and has long black hair so it fit him perfectly lol
>>
>>258444860
Oh, fuck I wish. So many fucking people come up to me at school or cons or shit and ask, "Oh my god, where'd you get that done?!"
I can't prove it, but honest. 100% natural
>>
>>258445009
He really knew how to make me feel like I mattered while molesting me at the same time. That takes skill. I use some of his tactics to this day.
>>
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>>258441398
What in the fuck man.

Me, my sister, and her friend that my mom used to babysit when we were all like 7-9 used to RP Pokemon to the point where we would keep track of levels and everything we caught and I always had to play the part of the wild Pokemon and hid in the woods and jumped out at them.

We had the Gen 1 guidebook and actually kept track of levels and what moves each one had and had a whiteboard to keep track of health that was just kind of guessing for the most part.

One day when they completely colored me dark blue yes, I was naked so I could be Poliwrath I put a shitton of bubble bath mix on our trampoline and put a sprinkler underneath it and proceeded to try to "surf" towards my sister (I should also say that we had one of those huge circular tents that you can put on the trampoline).

The entire tent filled up with bubbles and my autism made me scream "HYDRO PUMP" and jump out towards where I thought my sister and her friend were, letting me naked tackle them they were also naked, mind you and busting a gigantic hole in the tent from which a torrent of bubbles spewed forth onto the grass, followed by 2 naked 8 year old girls and a naked, blue me.

The mother of our friend never let her come over again and me and my sister weren't allowed to share a bunk bed anymore.

This was my first sexual experience.
>>
>>258434415
My friend and I had an intense mock Dragon Ball Z battle once. At school. We were 15.

People saw.
>>
>>258440658
but it is.
>>
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>3rd grade
>get a n64 game the day before halloween with a fuckton of skeletons in them
>get terrified of skeletons
>next day at school
>supposed to wear halloween costume to school so i wear my super cool gorilla suit
>some kid was wearing a fucking skeleton costume
>try to avoid looking at him as much as possible
>succeed until he decides to sit right across from me at lunch for no reason
>he starts stuffing his faggot skeleton ass face with baked beans
>blow chunks inside my gorilla mask so much that it fucking overflows and vomit leaks out the eye holes and covers the whole table
>get sent home

i love skeletons now though so its chill
>>
>>258445245
You posted this before in the cosplay thread a few days back.
>>
>>258443587
>High school
>be class president
>smaller school (70sh in my class)
>class meeting in cafeteria
>some fag talking about gowns, class rings, etc.
>doze off from all dat gaymen i did the night before
>awake when someone nudges me as apparently the guy was trying to talk directly at me
>wake up in a fright
>rip a loud fart at the same time
>everyone laughs
>>
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>>258444085
>Be parent
>Receive VHS from your child's teacher in the mail
>'I wonder what this could be'
>Just a video of your kid farting
I would call the fucking cops
>>
>>258441004

Reminds me of when I first Played Assassins Creed brotherhood tried imitating his walk and would wear my hoodie pretending to be an Assassin

Was in highschool didnt give a fuck what people thought.

To bad the game is made for casual cunts and gurl gamers now days
>>
>>258442730
>catholic highschool
This was an interesting feel. Mot of the kids were Indian so it was really weird because only a few of them were actual Christians.
>>
>>258436854
>Gotta go slightly above walking speed!
>>
>>258445393

really?

What did I say then?

I don't remember posting this ever
>>
>Be 10, playing in room with a bathroom
>Little bro claims he saw a shadow figure close the door behind him when he exited the bathroom
>Thought nothing of it
>Few hours pass, get out from piss break to resume playing metal gear solid 2
>That moment where the colonel glitches out on you and tells you to shut the game off
>"Yeah right"
>Suddenly bathroom door knob just violently starts turning on itself
>Turn off the fucking game and run to the living room like mad
To this day I still wonder what the fuck that was
>>
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>>258443587
When I was in second grade in gym class I farted while the gym teacher was talking and he stopped and asked sarcastically if I needed to go to the nurse. He was pretty mad.

Then again in highschool we were running laps around the gym and of course I'm some chubby fuck who plays too many video games so I'm the slowest one. I tried my best but I just couldn't hold it in while running and it was a big gym so it reverberated and everyone knew it was me. There was a lot of laughing while I was still trying to run and hold in more farts and not cry all at the same time.
>>
>Used to clap my hands together and touch things, pretending to transmute shit like in Full Metal Alchemist
>Parents see me doing it, think I have autism or something
>Continue doing it despite them asking me to stop
>Eventually they take me to the doctor
>Mom is crying
>Doctor diagnoses me with Americancer
>>
Running with arms behind back like Sonic back in elementary school. That one time I did it in public sure taught me a lesson.
>>
>>258444147
underrated post
>>
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>Grandma used to work at movie theater
>Sometimes a movie would come in that Christians didn't like
>They would start protesting outside
>Manager started filming to send to corporate
>I was 12 years old
>I stand beside camera guy and yell "WELL, YA KNOW WHAT I THINK?" and rip the biggest fart I've ever done
>mfw he still had to send it to corporate
>>
>>258434169
He's Hylian ya dingus.
>>
>>258443587
I had a friend who was in another homeroom. One morning while we were going to other classes, everyone in their homeroom was outside of the class, except for my friend. He apparently ripped a really bad one, and had him sit in the room by himself. I felt really bad for him.

Another kid who isn't my friend would rip farts all the time. He ate beans constantly at home, and they made my nostrils sting especially when I had a cold or something.
>>
>>258443492
Pat is that you.
>>
I went and played video games with this friend of mine. Eventually we got bored and decided to do our own story with his sister's pet mice. We held the mice and had them jump around stuff like platformers. We even tied a rope to one and swung it around over our heads and then tied the other end to the ceiling fan to make it be in a rocket ship. Then we got bored and played catch with them. Eventually their backs broke and they were left as just little twitching mice, so we put them back in their cages hoping they would get better or his sister wouldn't notice her pets had broken backs and lied there twitching their legs. We got in trouble when his family came home because they did notice that mice don't normally do that and I wasn't allowed to visit anymore.
>>
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>>258445110
good one.
>>
>>258445860
>WELL, YA KNOW WHAT I THINK?
Holy fucking shit, I can't stop laughing
>>
>>258443587
Post the rest. The awkward hug is hilarious
>>
>tfw boring kid/childhood

>come home from school
>do homework
>vidya
>shower
>dinner
>bed

That was pretty much my entire life up until about 4 or 5 years ago. At least I stay outta trouble and was never diagnosed with fany patties.
>>
>>258432927


There was a girl who I liked and if you guys ever played an rpg you know how people cross their arms or wave their hand around when they talk and do some stupid anime expression like HUH? and widen your eyes

well I was talking to this girl I liked and we were getting along until I started acting like a jrpg character.


fuck.
>>
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>Sleepover with cousins
>Me and one of them are in a tent we set up in his bedroom
>Other cousin is outside watching wrastling
>Cousin in tent tells me how he watched his parents porn video where a guy fucks the girl in the ass
>He wants to fuck my ass
>All I want is to just get naked and swordfight
>He said that getting naked was weird
>I finally give in and bend over, his penis just touches my anus, no penetration
>He pulls back and said he was done
>Annoyed that I had to do that and he wouldn't get nude with me
>We ask kid in tent to join us, he starts sobbing because he forgot his Scooby Doo VHS at home

And now whenever I see a rape scene on TV I get shivers and feel sick. It was either this incident (even though it wasn't traumatizing at all), or I repressed some other memory. Too embarrassed to tell my shrink that my cousin almost fucked my butt
>>
>>258443587
I farted in 4th grade while we were playing a silent game. Classroom is completely quiet and I let out the loudest fart of my life. Everyone starts laughing and I try to play it off
>i-it was my mouth guys, cmon

Luckily everyone forgot about it by like 2 weeks later and no one wanted to make fun of me since I was the best kickball player on the playground.
>>
>>258445860
ahahahahaha what the fuck
>>
>>258446275
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRCNeBjrFuc
>>
>>258434415
I did the same thing, I never even played the games, I just watched my older brother play FF7 and FF8 a lot.

One time I was at my sister's gynmastics practice and one of the kids who I befriended were playing "Final Fantasy" where we would do the victory dances over and over, and after a while I would say "ok now get in me and we'll go to the next town"
all the adults would snicker and I didn't figure out why until my mom brought it up when I was like 12.
>>
>>258442384
>itt cringeworthy stuff you did as a kid when you were younger
>when you were younger
>titanfall
>>
>>258446145
Holy shit you're a fucking monster. Kill yourself.
>>
>>258446425
>and after a while I would say "ok now get in me and we'll go to the next town"
I'm fuckin dyin, man.
>>
>>258446318
>needs therapy for ALMOST getting fucked in the ass

>meanwhile my uncle fucked my shota ass raw daily and to this day I am indifferent on the incident
>>
I used to make up my own pokemon games. I would outline all the gym leaders, what types they were, usually trying to come up with a pun for their names based on their types, what pokemon they used and what levels.

I even came up with original HMs like invisibility that you could use to sneak past guards and shit.

The plots were usually the same--centered around team rocket creating a device that would destroy all pokemon and you had to track them down and stop them. Final boss was usually Mewtwo or Mewthree
>>
>>258446312
I once went on a date with a girl once and treated it like she was playing a dating sim. I would start a sentence like "Where do you want to eat?" Then I would freeze in place and say 1 Mexican food 2. Italian etc. She would then chose an option and we would go on about the date with her choices doing the same. She had fun and really liked it. Still dating too.
>>
My friends and I used to go on their trampoline and make up our own DBZ characters and moves and spend like 2 hours describing in detail what we look like and what our moves did and then just plop down and not even fucking do anything for like 3 more hours and then I would just go home.

Also, we would always play yugioh and beyblades and all that shit. Beyblades was fun cuz it was all just random chance but yugioh was fucking crazy one of them would get so pissed and ragequit all the time. I also used to steal little packs of cards from walmart and target. I would open them in the store and just stuff em in my pocket.
>>
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>kindergarten
>storytime right before naptime
>bored of story
>start rubbing my head against the rug
>I don't know I was like 4 or 5
>start rubbing my forehead against the rug faster and faster
>like really fucking fast
>eventually stop because my forehead is burning
>teacher (and my mom) come over
>whole forehead is black from a bruise
>miss naptime
>>
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>>258446145
>>
>>258446145
Kill yourself
>>
>>258445860

That's awesome and hilarious. I would love to have a video of me doing some shit like that.
>>
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>>258443587
>Farting in a crowded university class.
>It's one of those that have the stench of death.
>>
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>>258445860
>>
>>258444142
Congratulations! Biggest retard in the thread goes to you!
>>
>>258444085

I hope you still have it.
>>
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>>258443587
Ya caught me.
>>
>>258442408
Fucking faggots i went to school with would have immediately told the teacher and picked on you for the rest of the year. Luckily there were kids that did way dumber stuff than me.
>>
>>258446312

sauce is eager blowjobber, something like that
>>
>>258436854
>You're asking for it
>>
>>258434415
makebelieve is hardly cringeworthy, anon.
>>
>>258444162
kek
>>
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>>258445860
Thank you based skelington
>>
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>>258435113
You mean this?
>>
>>258445383
To be this much of a pussy...
Truly, you man never be a man.
>>
>>258446145

Damn that's fucked up. Kill yourself, asshole.
>>
>>258446839
I'm a kindergarten teacher and I have kids who do this shit ALL THE FUCKING TIME. I cannot for the life of me understand why. Just fucking why. Like it's gotten to the point where I just let them fuck their foreheads up because I'm tried of stopping what I'm doing to lecture them.
>>
>>258445245
You look like Rose? That's pretty hot.
>>
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>Be 3
>Didn't know how to wipe my ass
>Grab my shit stained underwear and wave it in the air
>"MOMMA! HELP!!!! WIPE MY ASSSSSSSSS!"
>It's on a VHS tape somewhere
>>
>>258447138
i hope mister rogers make believes your ass
>>
>>258443323
I wanted to larp when i was in middle school and high school, my faggot dad thought it was gay and wanted me to play football so i failed 6th grade to spite him.
>>
just some guy named vikron that said he has a camera in his eye and he belonged to an under the surface pokemon club in japan which installed the camera. anyways traded his ass a holo first edition charizard and the legendary bird holos for a holo erica trainer. Felt good man
>>
>>258445256
Why would you be proud of a feature that looks ugly,stupid and gay all at the same time?
>>
>>258445383
There's a skeleton inside you anon.
>>
>>258442830
I don't get the not wearing videogame shirts thing. At least where I am, literally no one cares or I'm not attractive enough for anyone to notice me.
>>
>>258447389
>believing fairy tales
>>
>>258447314
Boredom. The rug is comfy. Resting your head on pillows is comfy. Therefore resting your head on the rug should be double comfy. And if you rub it on the rug, it'll be quadruple comfy.

At least I think that was my logic of it.
>>
>>258447387
I don't know, your mom kept you didn't she? Ask her.
>>
I still hum Snake Eater when I climb really tall ladders.
>>
>>258447214
Yeah, that's the one. Thanks.
>>
>>258447528
How often do you do that, anon?
>>
>Dad was the best/worst at bedtime stories
>the tale of namagem and orez
>there was a dragon friend
>there was also bo derek
>she never EVER stopped farting
>namagem and orez went on adventures across the kingdom
Why do i remember things like this so well?
>>
I once stole someone's ninja turtle underwear after swim practice and wore them home.
>>
>>258444147
Whitey here used to do the same thing alone though. Spoiled fucks got a new one that same week usually so they would just get thrown into the woods or canal near where i lived.
>>
>>258443572
Be honest anon. You fucked up that spoiler on purpose.
>>
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>>258432927
I used to walk down the halls in school like Simon Belmont in Castlevania 3.

I just want to go back in time and slap my dumb self.
>>
>>258447528
Why do you climb the ladders?
>>
>>258447528
Who doesn't?
>>
>>258436854
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPlnHw7MfME
>>
>1st or 2nd grade playing Ocarina of Time
>decided to practice the Link sword spin thing irl
>get huge gash on my chin from tripping into my bedpost

I guess it wasnt that bad since I didn't actually do it in front of people
>>
>>258447528
Are you a crane operator?
>>
>>258439512
A girl saw me doing this with some friends in middle school and actually bit me on the arm. Broke the skin and left a huge bruise.
>>
>>258445383

lol'd
>>
Sometime in my childhood i liked OoT so much and thought link was so cool i would make all of the "HA" and "HUT" sounds as i ran. I thought it was bad ass. My mom would just have me do it for her friends for a laugh.
>>
>>258443587
Not a kid story but
>on a packed train
>everyone is just sitting in silence
>got a major burp comin' up the pipe
>shit I don't want to embarass myself
>flex my throat in such a way that I do one of those silent burp-into-your-own-mouth burps
>success!
>however, underestimate how much gas was shimmyin' up the chute
>mouth fills to capacity instantly, cheeks puffed
>in that split second try to clamp down my lips to avoid letting the burp out
>bad idea
>FFPPPPHHHHTTTBBBTTTBBPPHH
>gas comes ripping out through my clamped lips
>everyone within visual range just saw me blow a huge burp-stink rasperry
>everyone else just thinks someone let out the hugest fart ever
>continue journey in total silence without making eye contact with anyone
>>
>>258443572
I would do the same thing, would you jack it too?
>>
>>258437061
Good.
>>
>>258443587
>had a problem when I was a kid where I'd fart a lot in my sleep
>I always sat at my desk with my chair as far back as possible with my head on my arm
>this put my butt out enough to let farts get out
>fall asleep a lot
>would always fart
and then in 8th grade the teacher told the principal on me and my parents finally found out about it and they got me medicine that suppresses the gas somehow
>>
>>258440016
I-I wouldn't have shot you down, anon~
>>
>>258447528
Do you do this for a living anon?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgO4Gd4RhvM
>>
>>258447528
I'd disappointed if you didn't.
>>
>>258436854
>Suburban kids
>>
>>258447618

I did some work at sea awhile ago.

Lots of climbing.
>>
>>258436739
I did this on my elementary school baseball team.
I think that was the point when people stopped liking me.
>>
>>258443587
Are you kidding? If i was confident i could cut long silent gassers i would aim for the nearest line of people so i could see their reactions one at a time.
>>
>>258447676
Alpha as fuck.
>>
>>258447945
Fascinating.
>>
I used to be made fun of because me and another guy during gym instead of playing basketball or some sport game would go off to the side and play Disney princesses.
>>
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>>258440458
>>
>>258447883
What a thrill...
>>
>>258443587

>Cringe time.webm

Fedora maymays aside, that kid is based as fuck.
>>
>>258437061

kill yourself
>>
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>>258432927
>Find a rolled-up rug
>Put it on my right arm
>Pretended it was an arm cannon and I was Mega Man
>>
Not vidya related, but I was that kid who fell asleep in class ALL THE TIME. Like, for some reason, I couldn't keep my dumb ass awake.

Somehow, I managed to do better than most of my peers and even got into some advanced placement classes.

I'm over it now, but I spent roughly 50% of High School asleep.
>>
>>258447701
I played shitloads of Melee with my sister, and I always used to try and do Link's aerial spin attack.
>>
>>258448115

>not pretending to be metroid

git out
>>
>>258447676

>dudes on class laughing
>teacher gives no fucks
>girls laughing

Awkward, but it seems like everyone enjoyed it

>inb4 someone says "autism"
>>
>>258448024
Thank you, thank you, I'll be here until I kill myself.
>>
>>258437061

nigger detected
>>
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>>258443587
>School restroom
>Me and friend peeing in urinals
>It's pretty crowded
>Friend releases the fucking kraken
>Loud as fuck
>Doesn't even bat an eye
>Everyone's watching
>Then the smell comes
>I'm standing right next to him
>The smell is so bad I feel like I might throw up
>Stop pissing so I can get away
>Still leak a large amount in my pants
>Try to get to the sinks as fast as possible
>Can see the stains through my pants
>"Accidentally" splash water all over my pants to cover it up
>Can see people staring at my pants as I walk by
>Realize my pants still smell like piss
>I made a huge mistake
>>
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>>258443587
I did it twice on accident.

>In 6th grade
>Doing sit ups
>fart very loudly
>Gym teacher says "Who's starting their engines
>Everyone says it was me
>I just barely manage to say "I-I ate b-beans for lunch" as if though that would have made it less embarrassing
>Have o pull a random kid over and basically yell at him telling him it was not me

>In senior year of high school
>In class, everyone is talking because bell is almost about to ring
>Sneeze and fart at the same time
>Class goes silent
>One girl says "well that was awkward"
>Class resumes as if nothing had happened
>Teacher asks if I am OK
>it smells horrible
>I pretend my knee is hurt, thinking that this will somehow make people think I didn't just fart
>Awkwardly walk in front of class and out the door to nurses room while people stare at me

Bonus story:
>In 6th grade
>Rush to bathroom
>Can barely hold it in
>Make it to stall
>immediately piss pants
>Poke head out, sobbing
>Ask kid I know to get nurse, telling him I just pissed my self
>Wait there for 45 minutes in my own urine for the lazy as nurse to bring me something to change in
>Just bring me boxers and not new pants
>Doesn't bother blocking off the bathroom so nobody else will enter
>Other kids in bathroom hearing all of this go on
>>
>>258446145
Go fucking kill yourself.
>>
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>>258443587
>senior year of high school
>sick, but still at school
>end of the day, walking to my locker
>two qt3.14 underclassmen walking behind me
>feel a coughing fit about to commence
>keep walking
>KOFFING COMMENCE
>as soon as I start coughing, let out a horrendous fart in the middle of the crowd and in front of the qts
>stop coughing
>grin and go get my stuff
>drive home, still grinning

Ain't nothing better than gassing a crowd, amirite?

>pic related, am me
>>
>>258448212
Can you really not tell how awkward that situation was?
>>
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I played little league for most of my childhood.

I also loved Star Wars games, especially the Kyle Katarn games.

It was my turn to take home all the equipment and keep it at my house one day so I drew on all the base balls so they looked like pic related.

I had to mow lawns for a month to pay for new balls
>>
>>258448341
>almost
WHATS THE FUCKING POINT OF THIS STORY THEN
>>
>>258436854
How many times did they walk forward to each other
>>
>>258448115

Nigga if you came across a tube as a kid you're bound to have done that
>>
>>258447437
I was fairly normalfag in high school. People didn't know I was an avid video gamer/tabletop gamer till I knew them enough to not care if they knew.

I was also decently attractive and while I wasn't /fa/ I knew what not to do
>>
>>258448229
Fuck it at that point you have to own the piss stain. Get a guy or two to walk and talk and if anyone look then point at it and high fives all around. If you own your shit you will never get shit for it.
>>
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>>258437319
>being dat kid
but for real tho my dad worked for PlayStation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TMKx-yXtJI
>>
>>258443587

The worst fart I have ever experienced was actually from the really hot girl who I used to sit next to. It was loud, lasted a long time, and smelled like someone uncovered a mass grave.

I'm not sure how I feel, looking back on that.
>>
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>>258447676
That was the longest 1 minute of my life.
>>
not vidya but me and me friend who also watched naruto sometimes played shinobi togheter by running with our arms behind our backs and throwing pencils at each other like kunais and shit

we were like 15
>>
>>258443587
>sitting next to black girl
>fart
>she hears it and yells it out to the entire class
>try to deny it and keep my cool
>after a few minutes of denying she gets fed up and slaps me
>I'm on the verge of tears but hold it in since don't want to make it worse
>bitch teacher does nothing

i hate women
>>
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>>258432927
I always hated Super Smash Bros for being such a gay kiddy wannabe fighting game especially since I played real games like Street Fighter.

My brother pirated Capcom vs SNK 2 for the Dreamcast but it had a bunch of Japanese in it, so I told my friends my dad went to Japan and brought me back the game when he returned. The smash babbies were in awe.
>>
>>258437757
I would put my tongue on the link cable hoping I could be transferred in
>>
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>>258438851
Jak 2 was the first game that made me actually break my controller in rage.

>running through the docks through that gauntlet of crimson guards

Although I recently got the HD remakes and beat it my first try so I guess I was just a shitter back then.
>>
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>>258443587
>8th grade me
>have to fart really bad (meatloaf day always gave me awful gas)
>tilt aside so my buttcheeks come apart so i can sneak one out
>testing out my SBD for CQC
>fart
>awwww yeah
>long, warm wind that feels great as fuck
>sudden liquid squirt that makes a wet squish
>i literally shit my pants
>everyone can smell it immediately
>i deny it, try to play along wondering who did it
>we leave the desks in the back because it smells so bad
>stand up
>there's a shit stain along my asscrack
>everyone sees it
>everyone knows

>get to go home a few hours early by saying i had the stomach flu

>tl;dr shit my pants while trying to sneak out a squeaker, went home 3 hours early and got to play vidya
>>
One time I was a moderator on an anime image board and didn't receive any payment for my hard honest work.
>>
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>>258448635
That's ok anon, we all did stuff like that when
>15
>>
>>258443309
>>258443624
Polar bears' fur isn't really fur, it's some other thing.
>>
I thought acting like Cloud would make me cool.
>>
>>258445293
Well aren't you a radical larye
>>
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>doing the dbz yell "powerup"
>any dbz move, particularly kamehameha
>pretending your dog is a pokemon
>literally jumping through stores like an idiot

>be with friends, we go to some girl's apartment and her friends are there, we go swimming for a bit till it gets really dark, hang out for a bit outside and go in to watch some movies, time passes... it's the middle of the night(like, 2-3 am)

>one of the girl's mother wakes up and gets fucking PISSED she basically throws us out, we had no cell phones, no cash at all

>friends house is a 30m drive, mine is an hour..

>we walk partially back, it's late as hell, we walk past lots of places including an old church, which we take a break by but leave

>come across an ashley(I think) furniture store, we look behind store, they have a bunch of boxes

>we end up gathering up a bunch of boxes and slept in them like hobos behind this furniture store for a few hours(till the sun came up) but I couldn't get any sleep

This all happened when I was about 13-14
>Mom and Dad never let me go back
>>
>>258448212
It was funny until the whole
>AMBUSH!! >:D
yeah after that he just seemed like a faggot and ruined the funny aspect of it.
>>
>>258448451
Yo, that dude was FUMING.
>>
Anyone ever go to school with a kid that jerked off in class. My junior high had a student who beat off in the corner of class. It was a fancy private school too and the kids parents gave lots of money so the school did punish him. He just got a lecture.
>>
Not vidya, but in high school, I swore in every language but English if there was a chance of being caught.
>>
>>258432927
Tried to shoot Kamehameha's after the Gohan/Videl episode.

Not too embarrassing really, seems like a lot of people did the same
>>
>>258444014
anon, its over. you dont have to nervous laugh anymore. its ok to cry
>>
>>258443587
>PE class
>school sports day coming up
>practicing javelin toss
>kinda good at it, want to try throwing it as far as I can
>put as much effort in as humanly possible
>throw it furthest out of everyone in class
>also let rip loud fart as soon as I throw it, whole class breaks out in laughter
>I laugh too to hide the embarassment
>don't go to sports day
>>
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>>258448802
>testing out my SBD for CQC
>>
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>>258443587
>middle school
>taking some standardized test
>only two kids allowed to be using the bathroom at a time
>finished test about 10 minutes ago
>have to poop
>the two hall passes are gone
>this is bullshit, I have to wait
>kids are taking their time, probably comparing their wieners or something
>the pressure in my stomach is about to go critical
>finally one of them comes back
>finally I can go
>it's tough to explain, but the desks were organized in special way for the testing day, because of this in order to leave my desk I would have to climb over the armrest
>decide the best way to go about this is just in one step
>carefully maneuvering my first chubby leg over the armrest
>legs are basically spreadeagled at this point and my butt's sort of stuck out behind me
>butt lets out one short fart
>freeze
>look back at the girl I was sitting next to
>she's looking at me
>she absolutely knows
>realize I just farted in her face
>don't say anything
>laugh a little for some reason
>she's not laughing though
>she's not laughing at all
>get my other leg over, grab the hall pass, and leave the classroom
>all I can do is hope is that it didn't smell bad
>>
>>258448661
>fart
>too much of a coward to cop to it and apologize
>FUCKIN WOMYN
Whatever you say, dickhead.
>>
>>258443587
>back in 8th grade
>had to fart
>Oh boy its a big one
>let out a long silent but deadly one
>the whole other side of the room smelled it
Did i mention i was in the front of the class on the right side.
>>
>>258437061

I only tip for delivery...
>>
>>258449071
I didn't have anyone like that in my classes, but my friend told me that a kid in the AV department in the technical high school used to masturbate to hentai during class.

Also, the kid got third degree burns on his dick. Took a cucumber, cut it open, hollowed it out, and put it in the microwave. Then fucked it.
>>
>>258448802
That is NOT what happens when you poop upside down. I wholely regret ever trying that.
>>
>>258448921
>being that guy
>>
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>>258448049
>Dances awkwardly
>Buys gifts for a girl who's clearly not interested
>Dresses like a spazz
>Is a nerd going after an athletic qt
>Based
>>
>>258449256
>10th grade
>Had awful digestive issues
>Let out silent farts
>Smelled like I ingested dead fetuses

I am so sorry, classmates.
>>
>>258442359
>be wearing a yu-gi-oh button up when 11ish
>have it on during school pictures day
>picture sits in my parents house taunting me
>>
>>258447093
Yea this is going to be fucking great fap material in the future
>>
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>>258449309
>>
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Is it normal to fart so hard you get airbourne off your computer chair for like a second or two? Because that has happened twice now to me.
>>
>>258441689

Well he DID use a gun. White apologist asshole.
>>
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>>258448341
>[Deleted]
Not on my watch
>>
>>258448802
>sbd for cqc

wouldn't that actually be a long range attack method?
>>
>4th grade had to take a shit
>go to bathroom and sit my ass right down
>about time for me to wipe and get out
>try to reach for toilet paper and there is no fucking toilet paper
>sitting there for like 10 minute sfor someone to come in and hand me some toilet paper and no one was there
>checked to see if anyone would come through the door and ran to the other stall to wipe my ass
>finally clean my hands and get out of bathroom
>sweating from the forehead
>bell rings as im walking to class and its lunch time
>class walks out and teacher is mad at me for skipping class
>try to explain but she cuts me off and says im in trouble
no toilet paper and the fact that i used to have problems going to the bathroom at that age and have to take a little longer than usual.
Fuck that teacher
>>
>>258443587

I've been on the internet for too long. This was not very cringe. The way he puts on his fedora was cringe, but his dancing didn't absolutely suck. Give me some real cringe guys...

"Pow, you owe me mon-"
>>
>Crazy girl is into me for some reason
>Wanted to date
>I'm a 16 year old chubby acne riddled neckbeard, she's a QT
>That's how I knew she was crazy: she wanted to hang out with ME
>About to say yes, remember my brother likes to tell embarassing stories about me whenever I make new friends
>Say no
>She dates my best friend, who is also an acne riddled neckbeard
>They're now married with kids, and he is now longer a neckbeard while I am

Damn it, young me, you were an idiot.

At least I get to be in the 40 Year Old Virgin remake in about a decade.
>>
>>258441378
FWIW, that video is SUPPOSED to be fucked up
>>
Farting never bothered me in class, I'd always just say "guilty as charged" or "I hope that one didn't rip my pants". People thought it was hilarious.

>tfw the class is watching a movie
>suddenly, some of your saliva goes down the wrong tube
>you're sitting in class either having a coughing fit or choking and crying
>don't want to get up to handle it because it would be embarrassing
>>
>>258449757
>neckbeard
>16
Anon, come on.
>>
>>258449632
>/vp/ faggot does something faggy

Big surprise
>>
I once went to run with my arms behind me like Sonic. As I swung my arms backwards I hit somebody clean in the face and they fell backwards, banged their head on a wall and was sent to a hospital with a split skull
>>
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You can be Goku in Smash Bros. I can't show you how to get him though, my N64 is broken.
>>
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>>258442205
>>258442546
>>258443492
>>258444147
>>258444448
nigger stories lets go
>>
My friend and I used to play Pokemon and she used to pretend to catch me in a Pokeball and would only let me out to do whatever she said, it last like, a full year and I feel really, really embarrassed when I think about it, no wonder she was my only friend in school.
>>
>>258449790
No one thought it was hilarious, that was your imagination
>>
I tried making my own text-based RPG.

It was a crossover of the four biggest monster-training series of the time (Pokemon + Digimon + Dragon Quest Monsters + Monster Ranch).

Every player was allowed one of each monster. And for some reason, players were allowed to have weapons and turn into creatures. I was a chain-wielding dragon (I had just finished watching a few kung-fu movies like Iron Monkey & Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, so I thought chains were fucking awesome), and my friend was a falcon who had magical feathers that could transform into any weapon. Oh god why why why why why why why
>>
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>>258443587
>8th grade Spanish
>sit next to qt girl, holding in farts
>teacher asks me to go walk up to a bin on the other side of the room and get a folder with shit in it
>get up, walk like normal, realize the beast cannot be contained for much longer
>letitgo.mp3
>rip one quick, explosively loud fart, sounded like a ball popping
>look of astonishment on teacher's face, she says nothing
>kids say nothing
>have friend mention to me in free period that he heard me next door

He actually didn't hear it, but word got out. It was fucking talked about all day.
>>
When i was 5, I asked my dad if i could have my name changed to "Yoshi"
>>
>>258449892
Not that guy, but come on.
I had thick sideburns at 14, and a neckbeard by 16. I'm going to be bald by 30.
>>
>>258449790

>>258450076 might be right, but I also think he's projecting.
>>
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>>258448802
>try to fart
>shit pants
>everyone sees
Justice prevails. It's what you get for being a massive shitlord.
>>
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>Doing awkward shit during class like pretending my hands were action figures and making various sound effects to go along with it
>I was so autistic I honestly never figured out what people thought of it
>Was the outcast of my class, no real friends to speak of
>Find anonymous loveletter in my pocket one day
>At that point my self-esteem was so low I instantly figured it was just a cruel joke
>Took me years to connect the dots and figure out it was in fact from my sister's best friend who went to the same school
>By that time my sister no longer liked her and we weren't going to the same school anymore
>>
>>258450025
Well, I had one steal half my Pokemon cards before.
>>
>>258437778
People like you are just as bad as tripfags.
>>
>>258449498

Eh, I was disappointed really
>>
>>258436854
OH GOD
>>
>>258450124
>>>letitgo.mp3
Did you run away and slam the door?
>>
>>258450025
One pressed me against the lockers and threatened to slit my throat if I ever said "nigga" again.
Fucking niggers.
>>
>>258450081
what's so bad about this? you sound like you were creative and maybe a bit talent as a kid. nothing to be embarrassed about.
>>
>>258450025
>be kindergarden
>just want to play in playground during resess with other kids
>3 black kids always bullied me and used me as their practice for wrestling moves they learnd on tv fucking dickheads
>one grabbed me and did piledriver on my developing head
>few days later end of school they end up failing kindergardeden while i move on to the 2nd grade, school life improved after that.
>>
Dinosaurs became my very existence after Jurassic Park. I would run like a dinosaur during summer YMCA making noises and everything, didn't help me making friends.
>>
>>258450124
>sounded like a ball popping
>he heard me next door
pftttt HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
>>
>>258444493
>>258444781
>>258445161
Why do you think autism/cringe threads are so popular?
>>
I did a presentation on Donkey Kong when I was in 7th grade, and I brought in the Donkey Kong 64 strategy guide on maybe 19 separate show and tell occasions in kindergarten. The teacher really went ape over it.
>>
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>>258443207
I used to do that, realized it didn't help, still did it when I jumped but realized it made me more likely to trip and smash my face into the ground.
Glad I caught on early but that short period of time where I was in full inuyasha mode still makes me cringe
>>
>>258449892

I have to shave daily or I become a mess.

When I was a teen, I thought it was cool to have extreme facial hair.

If you give me some time, I could have a beard that rivals Dumbledore.
>>
>>258448976
That sounds like a good memory anon. Wish I did that shit when I was 13
>>
>>258450167
Must be different for everyone then. I didn't grow my neckbeard til I was around 18-19.
>>
I'd narrate games, saying what I thought each character was saying as they went through each level.
>>
>>258447986
I once took two locker doors and carried them all around my highschool while being filmed. It was considered outrageous so nobody asked questions.

The coup de grace was walking into the middle of a gym class which was all waiting near the back basketball net. They were talking and carrying on waiting for the teacher or whatever.

I walked in and the class went silent. I walked all the way into the middle of the basketball court and just dropped the two doors, letting them clang on the floor as loud as possible.

Popped my collar and turned around and walked out at an identical speed. Met with a round of applause from whoever was in the gym.

The guy filming it shit his pants and shut the camera off when I entered the gym. I was pretty annoyed.

I used to wander into certain teachers rooms during periods I had off and harass them in front of different sets of students. I used to do a transvestite voice and do swimsuit poses on top of a row of desks and this one teacher would be on the floor laughing, and all the kids would just stare at me until I left.

Never break character, people.
>>
>>258450373
i bet you cried you little beta faggot lmao
>>
>>258434337
But that's fucking awesome
>>
>>258450124

Reminds me of when we used to have silent reading time in year 6 and the girl next to me would always have a cold and be continuously sniffing like tonnes of boogers and snot in her nose and it made this gross bubbly sound. Everything was completely silent except for that every like, 15 seconds for the whole half hour, I'm surprised I managed to survive without decking her.
>>
>>258443587
>tfw I farted in class
>tfw blamed it on the overweight chick in the corner
>everyone immediately takes my side
>she knows it's me
>I know that she knows it's me
>she knows that I know that she knows it's me
>I know that she knows that I know that she knows it's me
>everyone firmly believes that it was her
>she gives me not even a dirty look but one of complete and utter disappointment
>I look away in embarassment
>>
>>258450423
>when I fetched it the 20th time she went Banannas
>>
>>258440658
Shut up you queer
>>
>>258450403
First it started off as some bullshit on a Digimon fansite forum (where they had an RPG subforum). It got bad when I got my real-life friends involved.

I still talk to one of those friends. Next time I see him, I'm gonna buy us a drink for both of us.
>>
>>258450524
Yes, I did. "lmao"
>>
>>258444549
;_;
>>
>>258450124
>teacher asks you to get up for something
>try to stall
>teacher getting mad
>try to stall a little more
>tfw random wood
>>
>>258448979
I used to do something like this from time to time but I was imitating the Resident Evil tank controls, with the turning in place and stiff animations. As long as you don't overdo it it can go over well.
>>
Only five years until wizardry, guys.

What spell should I cast first?
>>
>>258449247
>apologize for farting

Fuck that. Own that gas. Someone loudly accuse you? Admit it LOUDER
>>
>>258450409
>failing kindergardeden
Shit son how does that even happen?
>>
>>258450746
tie a noose with your mind and use it on yourself
>>
>>258434415
But anon, did you

DUUAAAL WEEEILD
>>
>>258450570
What the fuck? Do you think this is some kind of fucking joke? I worked my ass off to make sure my classmates knew the difference between Tiny Kong and Chunky Kong, I assure you.

Sure, I might have made exactly zero friends in kindergarten, and in the rest of my education, but those fuckers knew exactly how to beat every boss in that game when I got through with them.
>>
>>258450746
Flippendo.
>>
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>>258450746
>>
>faked reload animations as a kid when I thought nobody was around
>anyone who actually saw me probably thought I was retarded

What the fuck was I even doing?
>>
>>258450746
Become a chronomancer, so you can prevent yourself from becoming 'arry.
>>258450801
Even that would be better than
>n-no
>>
>>258432927

Pointy ears actually mean you have fetal alcohol syndrome.

Good going, OP!
>>
I've honestly never told a single person this, so it'll be nice to get it off my chest.

when animal crossing wild world released (I was about 13 or 14), I tried to date a girl through "dates" in the game. we role played hand holding and kissing and some other shit I'd rather forget. years later the girl tried to message me on the forum we used, and she thought we were like best friends still. and that, is my most embarrassing vidya secret /v/
>>
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>elementary school talent show
>kids would pretend they could do awesome shit
>had no remarkable talents or goals
>decided to do the crash bandicoot victory dance on stage in front of at least 200 students, parents and teachers in 2nd grade
>became famous among the entire school for doing the "crash dance" until 6th grade
>grade school teachers would ask me to do it for the class occasionally, which i would wholeheartedly refuse

im proud to believe everyone but my parents and myself has forgotten this happened
>>
C'mon guys

You're not even making it video game related anymore.
>>
>>258450538
>sit in front of landwhale in 5th grade
>breaths like Darth Vader
>smells like Chewbacca
>looked like Jabba
>mfw this was the hell I was subjected to everyday of 5th grade
>teacher wouldn't let me change seats because I "needed to learn to be more accepting"
>>
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>>258450409
>resess
>learnd
>kindergardeden
>>
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>>258447771
>>
>>258450850
At my school loads of kids used to bring instruction booklets from ps1 games to show and tell. I think stuff like that's common isn't it?
>>
>>258450746

Cast Magic Suicide
>>
>>258450990
(s-shut up, it's still good, plus the fart thing made it pretty much off-topic anyway)
>>
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>>258450493

> He didn't get to be a weeaboo neckbeard in highschool.

Sucks to be you.
>>
>tfw I have my Mom's giant nose, but my Dad's nasal passages so I have to breathe through my mouth
>tfw I can't afford the surgery to fix it and become a not mouthbreather

T-thanks genetics.
>>
>>258451060
I never once saw anybody else do anything like that.
>>
>>258450832
It can happen. I failed preschool.
>>
>>258450746
learn some green magic and then go live in the wilds, becoming a hermit for travelers to stumble upon in their time of need
>>
>>258450124
>>258450349
Haha, no I didn't.

Here's another, this one was a good one though:
>be either 8 or 9 y/o, can't remember
>be on family vacation in Arizona
>walking down sidewalk with dad, have to fart
>notice two old ladies coming our way
>decide to rip it just as they pass, pretend it was an accident
>squeeze out a loud and long one, makes a raspberry-like sound
>old ladies notice, dad gets upset and pulls me aside
>ask him later if he was really mad
>he was just pretending in front of them, told me he was actually proud
>>
>>258447352
failed 6th grade to spite him.
guess you really showed him anon lol
>>
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>>258445580
>I was in highschool
>>
When my first Chao in SA2B died, I cried.
>>
>>258450901
I did it too anon dont worry, I wanted to be master chief so bad
>>