Fanfiction Thread

>>2004697
I'm probably going to get shit on for my taste but does anyone know any good naruto fanfics with yuri in it that is of a decent length? Most of the good ones I've found were put on hiatus or abandoned like 3 years ago.

>>2005008
Nothing I can help with, I do follow some Naruto stories but it's more because I like the author style than anything.

Why is there a new thread? Why are you people posting in this one when the old one isn't even halfway down the catalog?

>>2005014
are any of them yuri?

>>2005008
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3312763/1/My-Name-Is-Haruno-Sakura
(Sakura/Ino AU, incomplete, hasn't updated in years)

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5316196/1/Loyalty
Haven't read this yet, but apparently the author posted on /u/ that it'll eventually feature Sakura/Ino.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5193644/1/Time-Braid
Probably the best example of a groundhog-day style fic. (Warning: Sakura is bi in this, do NOT read if you dislike het)

>>2005571
thanks, the first and second one seem kind of cool, and the third one might be worthy of attention at a later date.

>>2005571
holy crap that first one so far is kind of depressing though.

>>2005571
>time-braid
I tried so hard, but I just couldn't handle dragon Naruto.

Have we resurrected Vocaloid yet?

Does anyone here write oddly-specific semicrack Touhou?

The Touhou thread's got me in a Yorihime/Sagume mood but I don't know if there's any active writefags there.

>>2006106
I'm writing something, but I realized the plot is almost exactly the same as Finer Things in Life, so maybe I won't publish it.

>>2006193
Well Onee-sama just post it anyways, I need more stuff to read.

>>2006247
I don't know, the plot, story progression, and ending are so similar I'll probably get crucified if I upload it. The only difference is how explicit the sex is.

>>2006193

You mean the story that was like 500 words?

>>2006302
It's fine if you get crucified though, its not like anyone really knows who you are.

>>2006919

More like nobody even remembers Finer Things.

>>2007053

Oeuf Trick lurks /u/. For all you know she might be the one egging you on. Finer Things is like a thousand words. If yours is longer just post it brej.

Overlady updated if anyone here still cares. Louise has taken a pretty big leap downward on the slippery slope and seems to at least having accepted that she's attracted to Henriette and there was also some funny sapphic rumors about her mother being tossed around.

Have the forum link cus I don't think the ffnet copy gets updated till wednesday.

https://forums.sufficientvelocity.com/threads/overlady-attack-of-the-minions-thread-ii.1325/page-92#post-5603258

>>2007176
It took 2 weeks for the interlude to get posted on ff.net so Wednesday seems optimistic. Pity since I prefer FF's layout for reading, but oh well.

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Has anyone read this yet?

It's amazing IMO
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8804250/1/Megami-no-Hanabira

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>>2007138
>Oeuf Trick
>egging you on

I saw what you did there

>>2007189
Yeah probably.

Still it was a pretty good update.

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/9212053/13/

Send like Oeuf Trick is in the writing mood

>>2007236
Are these chapters written in advance or something? This update speed is unusually fast.

Then again I remember Next On updated every day.

>>2005571
>https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5193644/1/Time-Braid
This was the first fanfic I ever read. It's not the best, and there's a lot more het than I would like, but it still holds a special place in my heart.

>>2005684
>I tried so hard, but I just couldn't handle dragon Naruto.
Naruto's barely a side character in the story though. It's Sakura-centered with Hinata as the main secondary character. Dragon Naruto doesn't show up until you're way late in, and barely does anything.

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>>2007505
>not the best
Still in my top ten of fanfics (just not for /u/ reasons).
Iirc there's also a bit of Sakura×Ino & Sakura×Anko.

>>2007236
Wow Yukari's past was darker than I expected...

>>2007505
It's time for someone to make up for the lack of good yuri naruto fics. I think I am going to give it a go myself, if nothing else it will stave off some of this boredom I have. I'll post the first chapter once I finish it. Give me all your criticism anons, I'm going to need it.

>>2007689
You're doing God's work anon

>>2007689
I'll critique it when it's here!

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Any chance for finding a beta through this place?

>>2007716
What's your fandom?

>>2007720
Fate/kaleid

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Well Anons, here is the first chapter of what will hopefully become something not terrible. I know SI with OC can become rather bad fast, but with your help I hope to make this good, and decently long.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11839009/1/Rebirth-Cursed

>>2007783
Also, the main pairing I have in mind is my SI oc with Hinata. Might have some others too, but that's the eventual end game I'm shooting for.

>>2007783
>as the last three bodies I'd had were all male, as I had been originally
Into the trash it goes

>>2007785
Thanks for your rather well thought out "critique" onee-sama.

>>2007787
It wasn't meant as critique, it was meant to point out that this is not yuri, so why are you posting it here?

It's not even a case of guy wanting to become a woman or whatever, literally just a guy now randomly inhabiting a female body. Not even SJWs would call this person a woman.

>>2007537
The last few chapters were a bit too much of a mood whiplash for me, going from sexy fluffy fun times to mind rape torture like that. I'm not sure why it was even necessary, since Sauske had an army of interdimensional warriors to fight with.

>>2007791
I know it wasn't meant as a critique, I was being sarcastic. Plus, it is still technically yuri seeing as the body itself is female. I intend for the character to gradually settle into his new life as a woman similar to how a trans m to f would.

>>2007783
>SI with OC

Sorry sis, I know first hand how paperthin the fragil heart of a writer can be but into the trash it goes

>>2007805
I am anything but fragile onee-chan.

>>2007783
I gave it a skim but unfortunately I don't think the concept would be well received here. The writing itself also has some faults, such as noticeable grammatical errors, and I found it hard to connect to the main character.

>>2007809
Alright, thanks for your comments.

>>2007792
>I'm not sure why it was even necessary
With great power comes greater adversaries.

>>2007820
Right, but the whole mindrape/mind break shit at the very end. There was no need for all that.

>>2007802
>I intend for the character to gradually settle into his new life as a woman similar to how a trans m to f would.
That's the exact opposite of what a trans m to f would feel though. Trans women are born male, but feel like they're in the wrong body, so they choose to switch to a female body. They don't gradually settle into being women so much as they feel they were already women in a man's body. Your OC sounds more like s/he just doesn't care about his/her gender, which would make them more non-binary than transexual. Unless you are an mtf, I suggest cutting that part out and just making her a genderswap SI, otherwise you're going to have a very unrealistic depiction of an mtf.

>>2007783
the story has been deleted?

>>2007846
I'm taking into account what the person before you wrote and gunna rewrite it as the genderswapped SI, because in all honesty I don't want to get into the semantics of the lgbqt stuff. I'll repost it when I fix it up some.

>>2007846
Also, some of the elements I was trying to write into it didn't incorporate too well. It'll probably be back up within the next day or so.

Any recommendations based on literary skills? Would love to read some fics of what you guys consider well written, prefferable with a western theme/pairing not anime or manga.

Also, what are some clichés or tropes you absolutely hate in fanfiction?

>>2007912
>Also, what are some clichés or tropes you absolutely hate in fanfiction?
UST and everything related to it. When the two leads have a pointless argument, or one of them walks in at the wrong time and misunderstands something, or anything else where the author creates an unrealistic speed bump in the relationship just to add drama to an otherwise light and fluffy love story.

>>2007912
Modern setting that depowers the characters.

>>2006919
>>2007138
>>2006247
Okay...I'll post it. I guess I'll put it on my fanfiction.net account when i finish editing it...?

>>2007912
Random rape.
Mustache-twirling villains.
Mustache-twirling villains raping mc's love interest out of nowhere.
Boyfriend out of nowhere.
Drama because "we must have big wordcount!"
Brainwashing.
And, I shit you not, I read a fic where the MC's love interest was stroggified and brainwashed and pitted against the MC. And while that may sound awesome to some people, it was decidedly not, and I hate that shit.

>>2007912
>well written
>western
Hope you like Frozen, sis. There are a few that I would consider good, however some stand out as exceptional:
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10520321/1/And-I-Saw-the-Beast-upon-a-Cold-World
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10804734/1/My-Oblivious-Sister
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1603178/chapters/3411962, but it's deader than dead.

>>2007992
Dunno about you but I love excessive drama

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>>2007951
>>2007955
>>2007992

Thank you so much.

>>2007994
Started with My Oblivious Sister, because it is the shorter and I have limited time today. I am impressed by the writing, thank you very much for the suggestion it was exactly what I wanted.

>>2008025
The author used to come to the Frozen threads here, maybe she still lurks.

>>2007990
Posted. It's pretty explicit so I'm scared fanfiction.net will take it down. It's my first time writing anything porny so hopefully people like it. If not, please critique, onee-samas. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11839571/1/Ink-Lines

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>mfw comic book fan
>trying to find any decent /u/ fanart or fanfiction of some comics pairings I like

I wish I could write. You want something done, gotta do it yourself.

>>2008110
So write

>>2008046
This is much better than Finer Things. I'd be up for a continuation.

>>2008046

This was so not what I was expecting, and I dont remember a thing of Finer Things at this point, but continuation or not, I'd love to read more.

>>2008046
You could try AO3, they have an explicit category just for porn.

any good fallout yuri fics?

>>2008046
Holy crap Onee-chan, that was pretty damn good.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/864779/chapters/1658749

Converting this to epub, I'm just over 100 pages in. And I'm loving it. So I thought I recommend it.

Everytime Vocaloid is mentioned, my heart aches with the On&on wound.

At least Inter Nos of Mai-Hime hasn't died, even if it took a 1.5 year hiatus until several months ago.

>>2008339
I fucking hate bbc's Sherlock though, I'm not sure making them women would make any difference.

>>2008356
This has very little to do with the BBC Sherlock. Basically nothing. So try it. Or don't. I don't care.

>>2008358
>Sherlock (TV)
Generally implies that's what they based their characterisation on. If the author has chosen not to emulate that uniquely obnoxious Sherlock I'll probably check it out.

>>2008339
There's high concept, and then there's turning Moffat's Sherlock and John into lesbians and putting them in World War Two.

>>2008364
You'll have to find out, then. Sherlock's always a little obnoxious. So is this one, but not annoying as BBC. But that's my opinion, which doesn't mean much. Though I disliked BBC-S, too. More so later than earlier, though.

>>2008383
I'll check it out then. I did watch the Christmas episode and enjoyed it, so it's possible it's just something about 21st century Sherlock that's so detestable. Though I adore Elementary even when I want to strangle its Sherlock. Thanks anon!

>>2008387
>so it's possible it's just something about 21st century Sherlock that's so detestable.

I think it's more that the BBC Sherlock was too childish in many of his actions and reactions. I found the "reveal" of how after his death to be insulting.

>>2008387
Elementary is so much better than Sherlock, if only because Holmes isn't a total dick. He's not exactly well adjusted, but not a complete dick either.

Also, Watson's really hot.

>>2008339
>converting this to epub
But you can just download it in epub straight from AO3?

>>2008110
>I wish I could write.
step 1: write

>>2008210
Define good.

Also for which fallout?

>>2008157
>>2008188
>>2008199
>>2008277
Wow, thank you all for the comments! I'm quite bad at longer fics, but I'll see if the bolt of inspiration hits me for this story.

Is there any fandom which is as disproportionately dominated by a particular ship as Mai Hime is? I want to read about anyone other than ShizNat.

>>2008578
>wanting to ready anything but ShizNat

>>2008579
I grew out of my teen angst phase like 6 years ago.

>>2008578
LoK is 5:1 Korrasami to Makkora in terms of most popular ships on AO3.

>>2008589
The entire category is diluted with other ships though. Even other MH ships are generally Shizuru/someone else or Natsuki/someone else.

>>2008592
Anon only asked for domination by a particular ship.

>>2008210
fallout 4

>>2008339
will i have to know anything about sherlock to be able to read it cause it sounds interesting

>>2008578
There are a lot of series with only two main characters to ship, like Rizzoli & Isles (hence the name). Beyond that, I know that Once Upon a Time is almost exclusively Swan Queen, at least as far as the yuri goes (there's also a lot of Captain Swan, but that's not lesbian, so nobody cares about that).

>>2008558
No need to force yourself if you think longer fics aren't your thing.

One shots, or even two/three parters are just as good and certainly a lot less pressure on the writer too.

>>2008600
That's not even good on a fanfic level.

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>>2008619
It's better for the reader too. I've learned to never get started reading an unfinished longer fic simply because the author will drop it by the time I've become really invested in it. A concise short story is better than a lengthy saga that just goes on and on because the writer comes up with shit along the way.

>>2008822
Depends. There're many fics that are so excellent that I never regretted reading them, even if they broke my heart by staying unfinished forever.

As a general rule, I only don't read fics that haven't updated in 2 years (unless heavily reccommended by other people or if the number of favourites is outstanding). Otherwise I give all on-going fics a chance.

The thing about reading on-going/hiatus fics is that you have the chance to encourage the author to finish it. I have helped resurrected a handful of fics just by a simple "Hey, how are you? I love xxx and hadn't seen it updated for a while. Hope everything is ok." A little bit goes a long way.

>>2008619
>>2008822
Thanks! I'll just consider a longer story then, but if I can't think of anything good then I won't do it.

>>2008898
Yeah, I think reviews can be surprisingly impactful. As a relatively new writer, they're a lot more motivating than I thought!

>>2008898
I've actually seen that exact same thing happen but the fic died again after a single chapter on both occasions. On one occasion I was acting as the beta for that fic.

>>2008578
Almost all of KnM is ChikaneHimeko. Understandable since they have no competition even within the anime.

Nanofate is abundant in MSLN, but certainly is nowhere near as dominating as Shiznat. Yuuno poses a formidable threat to Fate, whereas Shizuru squashes Takeda out of existence.

>>2008822
If I had a choice, I obviously prefer long stories. I wouldn't be reading fanfics in the first place if I didn't love the characters enough to want to read about them doing all kinds of weird stuff.

But long stories are almost never planned out fully and any writer could potentially lose interest/passion half way or just suddenly don't have the free time to continue consistently.

I think two or three parters are the perfect compromise. It allows you to plan out the whole thing like you would with a one shot but also gives readers the opportunity to have some level of anticipation for the next chapter

>>2009000
I wish fanfic writers wrote long stories beforehand, complete, and upload them incrementally over a schedule. Maybe with some minor edits as time goes on. This would solve so many pacing issues.

>>2009054
I have seen that I needed to do that a while ago, then tried to write the story and just couldn't get how to write a story. Then I [boatload of excuses] and now it's two years later. And I feel like shit for not getting that story started again. Fucking fuck.

>>2009054

I think that's just asking way too much out of something that's not even considered a real hobby for most people.

I do really admire those who can keep it up though. A certain RWBY story was apparently written by someone in the military going through training and the little tidbits of author's notes he dropped were quite interesting to read on their own.

>>2008339
I was a little skeptical, but that's actually really good. I love it when fanfic writers do honest-to-god research and geek out about it in the notes.

>>2008602
You may be a little confused as to why you should care about Molly and Sally or why the writer keeps talking about Sherlock's jacket, but the meat of the story should be enjoyable without having seen the show.

>>2008898
>you have the chance to encourage the author to finish it
I got mentioned in the notes twice, felt good.
>>2009067
>notes he dropped were quite interesting to read on their own.
Higher level of this is writing a separate story in author's notes.

>>2009197
I've gotten an author to add a bit to a fic once with a bit of constructive criticism on one of their chapters that was too close to just being a retelling of that particular part of the show the fic was based on instead of being it's own thing with the AU the fic had settled in.

Felt fantastic.

>>2009054

That's how I always write. I feel better about it that way.

However, because I follow that philosophy I've never published something longer than 35k and haven't put anything out in a year. I finished a NanoFate one shot but it's shit and I refuse to post it until it's fixed up a bit.

Degrees Below Zero updated.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9212053/14/Degrees-Below-Zero

What fandoms are producing a lot of new /u/ content right now?

Both from people on /u/ and in general.

>>2009414
The 100, but now is going to start dying because dead character
Once Upon A Time has a solid output and next month is going to get, i assume, some extra content with an actual canon couple...maybe.
But new-new is probably Supergirl, the show is producing a considerable amount of new content, Kara/Cat mostly.

>>2009054
That's what I do, but I've only published 1 story over 30k words... It was 200k.

>>2009414
>from people on /u/
Symphogear. Hands down, obvious choice.
There's a few RWBY /u/ posters but I don't follow that closely, I think it's been a roller coaster.
Chemistry threads if you count them.

>in general
>>2009418 pretty much nailed it.

>>2009423
Symphogear also has some /m/ posters producing content, though there is an overlap between them and /u/ posters. Also the fact that a good, I want to say 50% of the content is more /d/ than /u/.
>>2009414
LoK is still going fairly strongly. Fallout 4 has a fair amount too but the fandom seems to be rather split amongst what it wants.

>>2009414
Fire emblem

>>2009418
Talking about The 100, is there any good fic?

>>2010474
Doubtful. It's still mostly het or /y/, as usual.

>>2009418
>OUAT
>actual gay canon couple.
/y/ is going to be happy.

>>2010517
I never got into the fic side of The 100, mostly because i knew they were going to kill Lexa, the moment the actress joined TWD.
>>2010522
Its actually Mulan and Ruby, don't expect much thou.

>>2010522
Oh u
>>2010532
Disappointing but expected.

>>2010532
>Mulan and Ruby
Talk about pair the fucking spares

>>2010532
I've never watched OUAT because it looks shit, but Mulan is obviously best Disney girl so it's clearly at least 50% good taste.

>>2010542
Mulan's a side character that is consistently missing, despite being around since the second season.

>>2010553

Yeah but now there is finally something interesting about Mulan they will keep her around for fanservice. They never introduce lesbian couples without shamelessly pandering to the "omg girls are kissing" demographic which the franchise obviously need because there wasn't a cute girl in sight "Cough Emma/snow/the queen/Belle etc etc".

Really don't think the fairy tale setting will ever pull in as many straight male viewers as they want.

Not that I mind yuri in any form but c'mon, the opportunity to flesh out Ruby's char is so fucking long overdue. Really hope this isn't just an easy way of putting her into the "lesbian is my only characteristic" trope to avoid having to give her more personality.

>>2010571
I'd be happy enough to see her wearing more flannel.

>>2010542
Ruby is also pretty based, so in a never seen before feat of actual genious the retards at the helm of OuaT decided that Mulan/Ruby was going to be their gay couple...broken clock and all that.

>>2009418
>T100 will start dying off
>OUAT will try its ridiculously unskilled hand at a gay romance

Here's a riddle: if all OUAT romances are shit, are there any reasons to actually look forward to whatever passes for a homosexual romance in the hands of those shitty showrunners?

>>2010592
OUAT has some of the best fic I've ever read though.

>>2010521

Camilla/Hinoka is picking up some steam. Good ship too.

>>2010603
>not Camilla/Femui
All is lost.

>>2008899
Would love to read some Vocaloid with some fantasy elements, urban or medieval, if you're interested.

>>2010532

I'm currently reading an article about The 100 regarding this issue. Never watched the show but apparently people are pissed at not only what happened and how it happened, but also at the way the members of the production team toyed with the fans.

What a shitstorm

>>2010608
What kind of fantasy/medieval are you thinking about?

>>2010609
Personally, I'm a big fan of fantasy/supernatural elements being present in a story but implemented in a very grounded and non-flashy way. That means no wizards throwing building sized fireballs at each other. No magical untouchable ninjas taking on entire mobs.

If there's a fight then even the victor should leave with a few wounds, and if you're gonna break all laws of physics by merely chanting a few words, then the entire setting needs to have the proper world building to accommodate the existence of such convenience.

>>2010617
Like low fantasy? Cliche example, but something like Game of Thrones? What stories do you like that implement this level of fantasy?

>>2010623
Yea, I think early GoT is a great example of that. Always liked this type of low fantasy stories, especially in contemporary or urban like settings. I actually wrote and uploaded something resembling the latter in an old fandom, but didnt continue out of laziness.

>>2010632
Sounds intriguing. If you don't mind, what's the fandom? Also, what Vocaloid pairings do you ship?

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>>2010634
Something from 2009/2010. Not actually that old I guess.

>>2010608
Yeah, killing lesbian charactershappens literally all the time, heck next week when The Vampire Diaries comes back they are going to kill the lesbian vampires.
The real issue here than even mainstream media caught on was that the production team pretty much inflated the romance between Clarke and Lexa in social media knowing that she was going to die and they never missed a chance to call themselves ''progressive'' while doing it.
Its hilarious they didn't see this coming.

>>2010672
I only started following what was going on in the last month, but truly an unprecedented mess. They'd taken the fans' typical expectation of dead lesbian and kept on feeding the reverse, getting them to promote their tiny little show on social media and increase views on official viewing channels, then hyped the death episode as a mustwatch and with them finally getting properly together after a whole year. Yikes.

>2007912
I assume you've read Telanu's Truth and Measure and D. Geheimnis's Aucune Defense Pour Toi? Actually, there are so many other good ones, some even better from a strictly literary PoV, I just can't remember them.

>>2010696
Yeah i started hearing about the 100 thanks to some fic author I'd been keeping an eye on getting into the show like a month or two before the recent asshattery. Kinda glad I didn't even decide to waste one of my weekends on it.

>>2010707
The show is good, though, to the point where I can say safely say that, however ugly and huge it was, this shitstorm about Lexa's death was the very first time it objectively fucked up with no hope of dodging/fixing.

Maybe this particular storyline is over and even retroactively tainted by its shitty conclusion, but there are enough other plots that the show itself is not completely ruined.

I wouldn't watch it by any official means and give it ratings and notoriety, but that's what torrents are for.

>>2010723
Ehhh. Even before the death, the Pike and Arkadia situation was a mess. And now they'll try to redeem it and Bellamy, who's a straight up murderer. The scifi part isn't good enough to hold it together and actually, looked as a whole, the first season was weak, and this season was being objectively panned by critics outside of what was happening with Lexa because its secret surprise strength was the anthropological curiosity surrounding the Grounders. That's what gave it the real kick in season 2, but they seem to have decided to go against that.

>>2010517
I've read a few that were okay, but nothing mind blowing. There is a ridiculous amount of futa with this series for some reason.

>>2010672
I've read somewhere that the writers believed they could get away with it because of how good they did. Top kek.

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>>2005008
You're probably not looking anymore but this might be of interest to you or anyone else.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10723816/1/Uzumaki-Naruko-To-the-Victor-the-Spoils-V2
Naruko/Harem(mostly girls her age) AU, pretty decent and kind of long. The romance isn't the focus most of the time though there may be a few chapters devoted to it that might crossover with Naruko's ninjer training.

The only downside is that while it gets updated, occasionally, they are months apart.

>>2010765
There's a bizarre amount of omegaverse fic in this fandom for no readily apparent reason.

>>2011174
>Naruto
Eh, I'll pass. Thanks anyway.

>>2011178
It's probably just that some author liked the series and pointed it out to her friends and they all wrote fics about it. Then new authors came along and tried to emulate them.

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You know what we need!?

Fanfiction audio books. Someone on /u/ with a great voice should go find a completed fic and just record yourself reading it.

Then I can listen to this while driving to work

>>2011317
I support this.

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What do anons here think about the use of similes and metaphores in sex scenes? Coming up with those is a big part of the fun in writing for me, but when it comes to their use in porn, they tend to sound horribly corny and banal. If I leave them out I'm only really left with the option of using almost technical terms or lazy, ineffective euphenisms. Calling things as they are can be awfully blunt and feel out place with the generally lighthearted tone I'm going for and euphenisms are just not my thing. I really want to call a big pair of tits a dairy farm. It makes me laugh but it looks horribly corny on paper. What do my fellow anons think about this?

>>2011738
Eh, heavily depends, but usually just no. Especially something like you gave as an example.
It's also pretty bad to have too many euphemisms and metaphors in the story in general. Been reading a pretty good story recently, which got really...tiring in its use of them. Felt really sad to have a nice plot and fun characters being diminished by something like that.

>>2011741
Makes sense. Usually I go by what I consider funny and when I edit it later I only rarely take things out. With sex scenes the situation is completely different and I'm trying to get used to it.

>>2011742
As long as it's a funny, lighthearted story, fun euphemisms are fine. If serious, then not, obviously. Thinking about it, I'd find them crude and inappropriate in sex scenes.

>>2011738
>sex scenes
are pretty boring to be honest, because there's only so many times you can read through them and not get bored.
Unless it's some unusual, word garden crap, I don't bother and skip/skim.

>>2011748
They're awfully formulaic and stretched out a lot of the time. Kind of like the majority of fight scenes. Anything more than one doesn't make sense, but I'd still leave that single one in most of the time.

>>2011738
>What do anons here think about the use of similes and metaphores in sex scenes

That's probably the main thing that makes me not wanna ready them.

Just get the sexy started, get the kissing and groping out of the way, then skip to the morning after. Not that interested in reading another deranged attempt at turning the female anatomy into an assortment of flowers and natural wonders.

On the other hand, actually just making it as explicit and raw as possible can be quite refreshing.

>>2011738
>I really want to call a big pair of tits a dairy farm.
No, no, no, no. Just no. If you have to write it that way, just skip the scene.

>>2011738
Mollusks are fine and will make you fanfic an international hit, trust me my name is Nasu.

>>2011749
It sounds cheesy, but the only time I like and will read sex scenes is when the writer focuses more on the characters and their feelings than the technical part. I don't mean, skip the mechanics altogether, but you know, throw in dialogue, if it's playful and lighthearted, then do that, if it's desperate and needy, then go with that.
Don't ever use dairy farm, good god. Also, I haaaate when a character screams and the writing uses all caps for it.

>>2012819
>focuses more on the characters and their feelings

This so much. For example in that story that other anon posted in >>2008046 I loved that part where Luka sticks her fingers into Miku's mouth. The act itself was certainly hot, but the line about Miku wanting to put on a good show for Luka was my favorite.

>>2012819
>when a character screams and the writing uses all caps
Oh dear, I hate when the writer insists on using "hnh"s and other dumb sounding onomatopoeias in every other sentence.
>>2012819
>It sounds cheesy
Not cheesy at all. It's how it should be.
Once I read a fic where the act itself was compared to the experience of dancing by one of the characters, which I think was pretty creative. Writers should strive to amuse the audience in some way, I think.

Warmth updated again, finally. Things going fairly good, surprisingly.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6514752/63/Warmth

So anyone got any /u/ fics that are in the "what the fuck am I reading" sort of tier? Cus I got a teen titans fic that is pretty solidly in there for those who don't, and probably those who do, have a lactation fetish.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/2626002/1/Grebnaxlorg

Anyone have any Emma Frost/Kitty Pride or Jean Grey/Kitty stories or Storm fics?

>>2013029
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11090990/1/

Anybody got any good Xena Warrior Princess fanfics? Yeah I know it's a TV show but I didn't know where else to go to try and find some good stuff

>>2013547
Most of the good fanfics were published as original fiction. I recall a good quirky pirate one, but I have no idea where to find it.

My favourite substitution for vagina is pleasure wound.

>>2013569
I've always been cool with just the word "sex".

>>2013569
I favor gaping gash myself.

>>2013569
Throbbing flower is more my taste.

>there are dozens of genderswap One Direction f/f fics on AO3

I don't understand. Why even?

>>2013826
you saying thats a bad thing?

>>2014118

That sounds horrifying, yes

>>2013826
I think they may be baby lesbians who started to figure out their sexuality while still in their One Direction phase and didn't want to leave their comfort zone.

>>2013569
I've seen someone use "lady crevasse" and I laughed for like half an hour.

>>2014118
Well yeah...theres like a million girls groups around if you are into rpfics...why would you even need to genderbend One Direction?

>>2013569
I've read about "swollen petals" and "nether lips"... Ugh. Using labia, clit, "inside", cunt, sex are all fine imo.

>>2013569
>>2013578
>pleasure wound
>gaping gash
You guys can't be serious? It makes be think of a deep cut by a knife. That's not sexy.

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>>2014484
Anon don't you know? Everyone is serious on 4chan.

>>2014484
In the effort to "be unique", lots of authors go a LONG way. I believe it.

>>2014548
These right here >>2013588 >>2014432 sound a lot more pleasing. Saying something over the top like "sweet gouge" would be very unappealing to the sexual scene.

>>2014372
i assumed that as long as its yuri people wouldnt care

>>2015042
rpfics are this in weird zone that don't attract a lot of people because it's real people. The ones that are attracted are probably borderline into some things that could count them as insane.

>>2015042
To me >>2013826 bothers me on two levels.

First, if it's based off of dudes, I just can't see it as yuri. I don't care how many pussies and tits you graft on them. It's kinda weird because while I'm not exactly a fan of trans stuff, I'm actually willing to give that a chance if it otherwise interests - but just random gender bending is no go.

Second, I kinda find RPfics creepy in the first place. Part of that is from being somewhat involved in fandoms that took shipping actors/musicians way too far and seemed to take it really seriously despite how obviously far-fetched to impossible the prospect actually is, and just generally realizing how fucking terrified of/disgusted by fans I would be if I was famous and attractive.

Also gender bending actual people rather than fictional characters just adds another level of odd and off-putting.

>>2015044
I don't disagree, but is it that different than slash fics in general involving live action characters.

The characters themselves might be fictional, but the actors portraying them are very much real, and every inch of that person is just as important to the character as the writings in the show

>>2015060
I disagree. You could argue their superficial, external qualities like looks, voice, etc are important for sure. Although even then I challenge that this isn't always the case, for example as regards to on-screen adaptions with an active fic-writing community from before said adaptions. But real person shippers and related communities rather seem to spend most of their focus on rumored interpersonal relationships.

Besides, the way I see it, if a character's story takes a bad turn, there's always incompetent writers or dastardly sponsors to blame, faceless entities you don't care about to dull the pain. But if you put people on a pedestal the way we do characters, they will always let you down on their own.

>>2015060
>The characters themselves might be fictional, but the actors portraying them are very much real, and every inch of that person is just as important to the character as the writings in the show
That smacks of not being able to separate reality from fantasy/fiction in regards to live action.

>>2015106
Shipping real people, as the characters they portray or themselves, screams of insanity to me either way.

Maybe some day, there will be a legitimately interesting and good looking couple on screen I could get invested in, but so far nothing has come close. I'm probably just being a judgemental psycho when it comes to appearances though.

>>2011317
>>2011638
Suggest a fic?

>>2015222
Maybe a simple one shot to test the waters. For Vocaloid, maybe Falling, Crumbling

For other fandoms, nothing rings a bell at the moment.

>>2015301
>For other fandoms
Really depends on the fandom.

>>2015222
Crazy Little Things, of course. Sweetness overload, if someone can get Luna right.

so how do you guys feel abouy rp fics in general?

As long as I don't know anything about them, and the story is good, I'd be interested. But the two haven't met, yet.
In all, I'm not so much against it, as I am...let's say confused about AU (which RPF usually is). I know it works, having read 2 or 3 great ones, but I still don't understand the point. Really only when everyone is OOC, but that is most of the time. I just don't get why it isn't an original work, then.

>>2016721
>I just don't get why it isn't an original work
Because no one would read it.

>>2016781
If it's shit, sure. If it's good....

The Red Button updated. It's an Inside Out fic for those who don't know it.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/4247340/chapters/13979938

im having such a hard time reading fan fic lately

>>2019517
I go through periods like that too. Voracious fanfic reading is like recurring mono for me.

Does anyone have any of Tsuyazakura Kouyuki's kannazuki no Mike firs? I'm looking for Lovers Eternal, an amazingly detailed and well written fix from him but it looks like the author deleted all his works.

>>2019638
>amazingly detailed and well written

>>2019921

Yes

>>2019921
Some people love the style. I can't fault them I do too

>>2020032
Sorry, but no matter what TK and his fanboys would have you believe, purple prose is not the mark of competent writing.

>>2020047
Good for you, but for every person who does, there are many more who don't.

>>2020066
>Good for you, but for every person who does, there are many more who don't.
That can be said for any style though.

>>2020068
>Forgot to remove my fucking name
just kill me senpai

Still looking for Lovers Eternal fanfic if anyone have it saved.

>>2019638
I have Lovers Eternal and The Little Mermaid. But they're saved on a USB that I left at another place (where I won't visit until next month), so I can't give you right now.

Hopefully other anons can help you. If not, let's hope I remember to upload.

>>2019638
Found this link which has Lovers Eternal http://www.mediafire.com/download/8a8mi375llya7e6/Tsuyazakura+Kouyuki+archive.zip

Might be purple prose but who the fuck cares? It's fanfiction.

Tsuyazakura Kouyuki is not god-tier among fanfic writers or anything, but I'd say they're decent-to-good tier.

The purple rose in their fics is not a problem in itself, since they're surprisingly readable. Neither are the plot, since they're moderately interesting. It's that the plot had fallen short of the glorifying level of the proses enough times, that made their fics feel a bit flowery without substance. Nevertheless, the stories still managed to be coherent, the pretentiousness never reaches grating level (inducing an eye-rolling here and there, at most), and there were many genuinely beautiful parts.

With how little KnM fics there are, having TK's level of writing grace the fandom is a big blessing, IMO. Looking at, say, the Strawberry Panic fandom for comparison, it's kinda miserable that there's no fics as good as TK's.

>>2020066
>stop liking what I don't like

>>2020117
>Strawberry Panic fandom for comparison, it's kinda miserable that there's no fics as good as TK's
That would imply SP! has any good fics at all. I still have the FF page bookmarked but fuck me if there's been nothing good for what might be years at this point.

>>2020593
Most series didn't survive the passage of time without new content. RIP marimite

>>2020117
>The purple prose
I think his fics are decent enough, but for some reason I could never get into them . I didn't know back in the day what "purple prose" was but I always found his writing a little extravagant and distracting.

>>2020117
I don't get why everybody rushes to disavow TK's writing, so many years after the fact. It's definitely purple prose at its floweriest. But LE was THE KnM fic at the time. It was a melodramatic ridiculously theatrical love story and it did that well.
And let's be real here, KnM itself wasn't exactly a shining paragon of excellent storytelling.

>>2020765
The KnM anime was fine. You can pick out certain elements of the anime you didn't like, everyone has those, but I had no problem with the way the story was presented. It didn't break new boundaries, but did its job with the material given. From start to finish, I wouldn't re-arrange any scene or episode.

In retrospect, a relationship focused story with an actual plot in the background is as typical as romance story goes. But in the realm of yuri, it's still one of very, very few that dared to venture into that territory.

Were any of yo/u/ embarrassed to write your first sex scene? I'd like to write and draw some yuri someday soon, but I'm trying to get over my embarrassment to practice.

>>2021701
If you're embarrassed to write it, don't write it. Just write what you like and what you know.

>>2021701
Fade to black is your friend.

>>2021710
>>2021712
I see, thanks you two.

>>2021701
I used to be embarrassed. After the first few though it gets easier.

Any good Portal stories?

>>2021775
Are AUs acceptable or no?

Also I think I know of a few in general, but I'd need to dig em up again. It kinda sucks doing this because nobody can tag worth a fuck on ffnet

>>2021779
>AU
As long as they aren't that much OoC

>>2021775
heres one
https://m.fanfiction.net/s/7474236/1/Strange-Bedfellows

>>2021881
I think this is my favourite by that author personally
https://m.fanfiction.net/s/7619204/1/Miss-Johnson-s-Toys

>>2021701

Nope. I wrote a ten thousand word Miku/Luka fuck fic with an added foot massage/masturbation scene to troll the flamboyantly gay professor of one of my friend's classes in a week with zero hesitation. Printed it out with a nice cover and made sure the guy read it. The troll didn't really work since he liked it.

>>2022570
Pretty forward of you Olivia, did she give you top marks?

>>2022572

Nah, wasn't even my class. My friend who delivered the goods got called in to a private meeting and received a stern talking to about how he "shouldn't make the gay professor read the gay books" or something. Good times for everyone except my friend.

No delicious /u/ ending here, friend. But maybe the idea for my next schlickstory...

>>2022559
Premise sounds fucking stupid.

>>2022647
I thought so too, but I just finished it and it was pretty funny. Light on the actual relationship tho.

>>2022559
Wow that was uncomfortable.

>>2022559
too bad the author hasnt updated in over a year though

>>2022647
So does Portal's.

>>2022649
Yeah, the only thing I do wish is that it it continued a little after Chell returns to Aperture.

>>2022700
I think all good Portal fic should make you feel at least a little uncomfortable, considering the tone of the game.

>>2022718
I think she fell into tumblr.

>>2022777
>So does Portal's.

Apples and oranges.

>I think all good Portal fic should make you feel at least a little uncomfortable, considering the tone of the game.

There are different ways of feeling uncomfortable. This is not a "good" one.


OPINIONS, EY!

>>2022822
i actually want there to be more yuri of portal

>>2023317
It's a lost battle ever since half the fucking fandom latched onto goddamn wheatley despite the ending of Portal 2 being rather perfect to set up a deeper relationship between the two. Also so many motherfuckers just make Chell speak way too fucking soon in their fics, or in general make her speak which really annoys me. Like one really bad one that i recall was GLaDOS denying Chell an orgasm until she asked for it when the game is pretty fucking explicit about Chell being inhumanly tenacious.

Sorta on the topic of some of the previous fics listed. I'm starting to really get into the idea that Chell is just some huge robosexual masochist who gets off on being made to do testing and "testing".

>>2023317
I know this won't help you, but I am still working on a story. Tumblr blogposting ahead: Because [insert a million pathetic excuses], I haven't touched an open office doc in over 2 years, despite how shit I feel about it, but I AM going to write.
A Portal fic, among other things. I even have the first few, to a few dozen pages of several different things, but, again, excuses.
Sage, because pretty much pointless post, in the end...
http://pastebin.com/7ARXrLeD

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/6301573
Here's something I wrote. I didn't think about continuing it at first but I'm out of ideas for new fics and I feel like writing more. Beating a writer's block that lasted for five years feels incredible.

>>2022822
I felt pretty good.

>>2023424
That was wonderful.

>>2023424
You should write more, anon.

>>2023335
>>2023335
i liked it

also i wish it was easier to find yuri fics on ff.net i like the f/f category and on it and wish it was used on ff.net to find yuri fics so far its hard to find them based on the description alonev

>>2024169
I'd be fine with simple relationship tags on all the stories. If I'm looking for f/f Arrow stories, there's only like 5 women in the cast to pick from, so I'm not losing much if I have to search for Sara/Laurel and Felicity/Thea separately. As long as I can find them, I'm golden. But it seems like nobody ever bothers to add the tags to their stories, and it's almost impossible to find them in a sea of Oliver/Felicity shit. I don' even bother going there any more, it's so hard to find anything decent.

> Girl of Steel http://archiveofourown.org/works/3957214

Just found this while looking for something new to read. It's over 250k words in under a year with only 85 kudos, which means it's either utter garbage, or the writer transferred it from somewhere else. Anyone read it before?

>>2024614
No idea, but I will definitely find out later in the week.

>>2024614
>Western series
>Lemon
>Harems
>Yuri
pass...

>>2024614
it was published last may, kinda weird that such a huge fic has no attention. Though it's barebones fandom tags may have something to do with it.

>>2024673
I'm going to give it a kudos. Even if it turns out to suck, I hate the idea of a guy writing over 250,000 words and so few people even bothering to tell him "good job".

>>2024614
I think I read that last year when there were ~30 chapters and I enjoyed it.

>>2011174
I'd already read that one.

>>2008339
Anon, I just finished this and it was amazing. WWII lesbian Sherlock and Watson turns out to be a surprisingly good idea.

How the hell does a mostly text-website like AO3 burn through $100k in less than a year?

Why the fuck do wannabe writers keep name-dropping their shitty favourite flavour-of-the-month songs and bands and games and books and authors and films in middle of their stories? Can't they feel the cringe nor see how it only creates disconnect from the narration and immersion or how it only displays their own weak powerlevel instead?

And another issue:
>first chapter sets up two characters to meet and ends on the handshake as a sort of a blend of a soft cliffhanger and a minor pay-off
>second chapter begins with a timeskip and a few sentences summarising their interaction and subsequent events
>story keeps referring to the first meeting in following chapters for contrast and comparison

And these are just some of the things.

>>2026393
>Can't they feel the cringe
People who feel the cringe have a lot of issues writing at all.

>>2026393
It's fanfiction. There are good fic-writers out there, but most of them just want to get an idea out of their head and onto paper. Mostly without understanding story structure and world building (not necessarily because of being incompetent, but rather lack of interest of investing time to find out proper).
Some of those ideas warrant a cry for "why isn't this thought out more", whereas the majority is just plain bad.
All in all, people do this in their free time, for free, for fun.

I don't entirely understand the problem with the other issue.

>>2026394
Maybe cringe wasn't the best word to have been used there. Dissonance perhaps?
They must read the text before posting it, don't they? Shouldn't it be apparent how jarring naming brands is without proper context. It can be done, but it takes a certain level of finesse, the lack of which is again very obvious. Even to unfeeling beasts incapable of shame and regret.

It seems such a simple and an elementary thing to recognise and avoid. That's why it's way more of an eyesore than any rookie mistakes in proper structure or world-building. Those are more easily forgiven due to the reasons >>2026395 mentioned.


As for the other thing, the first chapter works largely due to the promise of their coming interaction. This is what hooks the reader. Then the second one completely fails to deliver that yet the story goes on to play and build off of it as if it had. This leaves the reader bewildered and feeling as if they aren't on the same page with the characters and are left trailing behind them for no raisin.

It seems so bizarre to see something set up nicely, then not acutally followed-through but still continued as if it had been.

>>2026408
I'd wager a guess and say that many, if not most fanfic writers are either underage, or socially awkward. Both of these making for a lack of social awareness, meaning they pick up things as they see them and try to fit them in their story. The naming things from real life is probably because "I need them to visit a pizza place. Let's have them go to [whatever the writer knows]". Or, for songs and such, a simple line of lyric/text from book or whatever "kinda fits" right then and there. Has some resemblance of what the writer is thinking at that moment or somesuch.

If I'm wrong, I apologize to the fanfic community. Hawhaw.

>>2026393
Shits and giggles, probably.

Though personally if I'm reading some high school AU and there's some line like 'She walked into the cafe, a small place with only a bar to sit at and Real Estate playing softly in the background' I wouldn't care. If it's a realistic setting, I don't see anything wrong with having real books and band references.

If it's some Middle Ages fantasy though, then we have a problem.

>>2026408
because a lot of fanfic writers ARE rookies, regardless of their age. and if they have a large body of work while continuing to make the same mistakes, they just don't give a shit, or no one has told them any better.

referencing any "real world" brands or media usually pulls you out of the story or serves as an, imo, extraneous detail. if the band playing matters, it better be referenced at some point in the story or serve some kind of characterization/thematic/worldbuilding purpose. but most young and/or new writers don't know these things. also they might just REALLY like the band and want to find a way to work that into their fic, because they're 13 and not thinking about greater thematic purposes of detail because it is a fanfic.

cringey random band references are frequently a good indicator of whether or not a fic is worth reading. so, for me, they can actually be very useful in that regard.

as for you second complaint, i think what you're getting at is when character development and interaction is skipped. the author either didn't know how to write it, or didn't think it was important. if it bothers you, why continue reading the fic? it's not like you paid for it, unless you commissioned the author, in which case you should bring the issue up with them.

this isn't a mistake limited to fanfiction writers either. i can think of at least 2 tv shows i watched this season that either skipped character development or made a mess of it.

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>>2026408
>Shouldn't it be apparent how jarring naming brands is without proper context.
I've seen this with Apple products. for some reason some fanfiction writers seem to think is really relevant to the story to point out that a character is sending a message from their iphone, or writing an e-mail from their brand new mackbook air. and it's not only once or twice, every fucking time the character in question pulls out their phone, the author feels the need to remind us that it is an iphone and not just any other kind of phone.

>>2026388
Employees, probably. People cost a lot of money to hire, especially coders.

>>2026388
>>2026736
http://www.transformativeworks.org/where-we-are/#more-27818
http://www.transformativeworks.org/2016-budget/

they actually posted their 2016 budget, over 1/3 of it is paying the coder(s). idk about some of the other expenses, but i don't have any points of reference. at least they're attempting transparency and i support contracting a CPA.

>>2026532
>'She walked into the cafe, a small place with only a bar to sit at and Real Estate playing softly in the background'
This is a rather mild example and not at all unforgivable. Still, as I don't know who that group is, namedroping it would be as useful as droping a non-existant band, say Unreal Estate. Both would leave me confused and lost to whatever meaning or mood they were supposed to convey or set up. Nothing major though, hardly something that would pull me out of the story.

Consider the following paragraphin a purported mAU high-school lesbian angsty-drama.
>Elsa had been playing Defence of the Ancients on Steam for nearly three hours now. Though, from the way things had been going in the current match, probably not for much longer. 'God damn it, Ice Maiden, I told you at the beginning that you can't go mid against this draft,' she she said, nearly yelling at her supposed support on TeamSpeak, her frustration clearly evident. 'Will you please stop feeding the TA and just listen for once while we still have a chance at the Aegis and a tower-trade. Otherwise it's fucking gg.' Her teammate grumbled something in return about new 'Ice Queen' meta and 0.1.4c, but she had already tuned the faux-port out. I'm never going to reach Puppey-league at this rate, she thought while taking a sip of long since still Mountain Dew, her mind hard at work on at how to force a teamfight while they still could take one and hopefully carrying it from there. Dendi willing, she'd find a way. Somehow.

The worst.
Unless the fic were called 'Love Me Doter' or something.

>>2026731
Eh, I think it says something about the character. Namely that they're bland trendy and probably young.

Tbh actual books reference brands like McDonalds and Armani, as well as music artists, all the time.

>>2026761
Then why won't they just write 'a brand new trendy phone' instead?

The rest are classics and often iconic in their own right. An Armani suit carries meaning in itself. Or saying 'Bond villain'. Please tell me that iphones aren't the icons of this generation.

Posted from Samsung Galaxy S7 Edge with Verizon

>>2026760
If it was a little less detailed, the second one wouldn't be bad at all. You'd be clearly showing what kind of a person this version of Elsa is while giving your story verisimilitude with the presumably accurate descriptions of how the game works.

>>2026764
Why use 5 words when you can get it across in one? Like it or not, at this point iPhones are iconic worldwide. New, millenial, trendy, yet safe.

>>2026760
At least it's not Jimbabwe-tier attention to detail.

>>2026766
>give a serious attempt at a good writing
>'kill yourself and then consider giving up writing for good'
>spend a minute making up purposefully bad stuff
>'actually not that bad, desu'
Th-thanks. I guess I managed kill my own argument by not sucking enough at the right time. C'est l'histoire de ma vie.

>>2026761
Most of the time those books make me eyeroll a little then though.

>>2026783
Name some contemporary books with a realistic setting that you don't eyeroll at.

>>2026766
>If it was a little less detailed, the second one wouldn't be bad at all. You'd be clearly showing what kind of a person this version of Elsa is while giving your story verisimilitude with the presumably accurate descriptions of how the game works.
Agreed. It paints her as super passionate, but also not great with other people. The kind of person who would have trouble making friends in real life, but just lets it all out online. I could totally see this setting the scene for her difficulties getting along with Anna, who's one of those super-social types who always seems to be the life of the party and constantly wants to talk about anything that comes to her mind.

>>2026760
I don't see what is bad about the second example. This version of Elsa is clearly a very specific kind of person. I would even go so far as to say that leaving out all the DOTA and Mountain Dew would lessen this portrayal of her.

>>2026764
i can't tell if this is sarcasm or not because of the last line, but i laughed.

>>2026760
i think most people here agree that, by and large, brand referencing to real-world things is bad. you don't have to go explaining why they don't work, we get it. most people that have read enough fics get it, either on an instinctive or technical level.

people are just trying to explain why it happens. new writers making mistakes, or the willfully ignorant.

using a specific band to set the tone in a cafe would, to some readers and in some stories, make sense. a cafe playing Mumford and Sons is going to have a different atmosphere than a cafe playing Mozart. you could replace either with "trendy folk music" or "classical", but it depends on the work. Maybe your characters strike up a conversation over the band, and one invites the other to a concert. in this instance it would make sense to give the band a name. in normal fiction, it wouldn't be a stretch to use an existing band. the issue with fanfiction is the characters already exist in a world, and even with AU, real-world references can cause a break in the fantasy. sometimes the alternates ff authors come up with can be worse than the reference tho.

the paragraph you quoted has more problems than just references. I agree, they're mostly needless but you could argue that the dialogue in particular is important to emphasize elsa's deep knowledge of the game. and to someone that doesn't know shit about DoTA it's just technical jargon that does just that.

>"story is written, but gonna update once a week"
Fucking faggots and attention whores.

>>2026805
Sorry. When my autism starts rearing up it tends to make me super anal and oblivious at the same time. I guess I kept going on because I was looking for a specific validation. Feels sort of embarrassing now.

>sometimes the alternates ff authors come up with can be worse than the reference
This is interesting though. Can you give some examples oe elaborate? Im asking because parodying the practise by inventing increasingly surreal yet plausible band names has been fun in the past. You probably don't just mean the names, though.

>the paragraph you quoted has more problems than just references
This might be going off-topic, but could you name them?

>>2026760
Only thing I'd change is the Ice Queen line, but then I've always hated it when writers slipped unimportant references to the original work into their AU like that. They never add anything to the story, they're just there for readers to go "Hey, I get the reference!"

>>2026532
>Middle age fantasy
>not having a band of magical fairies playing Taylor Swift's Shake It Off on various woodland instruments as the shiny lady knight charges into the monster's lair to save the princess

You're clearly not a writer and never will be

>>2026834
>Feels sort of embarrassing now.
I want to pinch your cheeks.

Keep writing. You're clearly into it and must have at least some talent to accidentally write a pretty good opening.

>>2026834
it's cool.

i think replacements are really subjective, and it depends a lot on the story. USUALLY i'm for forgoing a brand name entirely, followed by coming up with a plausible replacement. something like Sons of Anarchy getting switched to Sons of Agni could work either way. but think of replacing something like Netflix in a Korra AU.

"Asami sat down and opened up an online mover streaming service" is clunky and it would take... finesse to come up with an adequate replacement. not that it can't be done. in the Frozen/DoTA example, i'd honestly take DoTA over the threat of 9 paragraphs of exposition about a fan-created Frozen AU MOBA. if i read anything with a goofy in-universe brand/band creation i'll try to remember to post it.

also to consider with replacements is how many people have used something like "Fire Ferrets" for a band, sports team, etc. that too can get frustrating to anyone who has read enough fics.

as for problems with the paragraph, it's kind of hard to read. i don't think it flows very well. The dialogue being improperly formatted is a big contributor, but that could be from copying. IMO it's also a bit wordy and some sentences could be split and restructured. Steam and Teamspeak could definitely be cut. if you want i can do a quick edit that may make it more readable just as an example.

>>2026848
>not having a band of magical fairies playing Taylor Swift's Shake It Off on various woodland instruments as the shiny lady knight charges into the monster's lair to save the princess

i want to write this. someone give me a ship.

>>2026882
Miku/Luka please

>>2026882
Britney/Santana, or pretty much anyone else from Glee.

Here's one that I found. It's not particularly well written, although the general idea seems kind of solid. Author has mentioned pairing will be Yuri.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11856946/1/Roshi-s-Tale

so there's a drawing request thread, but how come no kinkmeme thread? Is that against the rules or something? written stuff is waaay better than drawn stuff in my opinion but there's so little of the former for yuri couples, especially when it comes to anything more extreme than "two virginal schoolgirls tenderly hold hands and confess their feelings for each other"

>>2026903
Not enough writers and, sadly, we're not lj.

Neptunia has the worst fanfiction archive I've seen in a while. 95% of it is gary stu self insert fanfics, holy shit. Before I joined the Neptunia fandom I was in the Akuma no Riddle fandom. While its fanfics are not that good, most of them didn't have OCs at all and focused on the official characters being lesbians. Even the Nanoha fandom had less self insert fanfics than Neptunia.

>>2026831
From personal experience, a lot of time and effort goes into editing prior to uploading. I added 80k words after "finishing" a rough draft prior to uploading it chapter by chapter.

>>2026923
>even the Nanoha fandom
That's some stupid comparison you're making there. Some series are infested with mostly self-inserts, and Nanoha isn't one of them.

Self-insert-wise, you would want to make comparison with something like Touhou or Im@s, where at least 8-9 out of 10 fics feature an original character as MC. Nanoha, Mai-Hime, Sailor Moon, etc. belong to a different type of "culture," one where the majority of fics have MC and cast being characters within that specific series.

>>2026930
Nanoha strikes me as the type of series with OC-friendly environment. As in, it is easy to create an OC in that setting, just make your OC to be some random TSAB worker.

>>2026930
>>2026942
I mean, I'm not saying it is a good idea to add a male OC in a Nanoha fanfic, but it makes more sense than adding a male OC in Gensokyo. Then again, I think some fanfiction writers don't care about logic.

>if you want i can do a quick edit that may make it more readable just as an example
If you wouldn't mind. For educational purposes. Also, there's no hurry, you can do it whenever. Slow thread and what not.

>>2026942
Nanoha doesn't particularly strikes me like that. And regardless of your guess, the fact is that its fanfics rarely have OC, so using such an uninformed comparison sounds silly.

Go try to take a look at the Touhou section, where it's pretty lucky to find a fic without an OC every 2-3 pages of titles.

>>2026831
People get tired reading big updates constantly, you gotta give time to your readers to read your stuff, don't dump 30+ chapters with 8k words each.

>>2026950
ok, writing is subjective and this is influenced by my preference for brevity. but i tweaked this to an easier read, at least for me.

>Elsa had been playing DoTA for nearly three hours now, though probably not for much longer, with how her current match was going.

>"God damn it, Ice Maiden, I told you at the beginning you can't go mid against this draft," she nearly yelled at her "support" through her headset, frustration evident.

>"Will you please stop feeding the TA and just listen for once while we still have a chance at the Aegis, and a tower-trade. Otherwise it's fucking gg."

>Her teammate grumbled something in return about "New Ice Queen meta" and "0.1.4c" but she had already tuned the faux-port out. I'm never going to reach Puppey-league at this rate, she thought while taking a sip of her long since flat soda. Her mind was hard at work on how to force a teamfight while they still could take one, and hopefully carrying the game from there. Dendi willing, she'd find a way. Somehow.

Got rid of some extraneous references, trimmed the first sentences into one. Split one of the last sentences because it was really long. Spaced out the dialogue. just learned that brits actually use single quotes, so the doubles were a cultural stylistic choice. The thought line at the end should be italicized but this is 4chan so i can't. cutting the middle sentences was in part to get rid of the TeamSpeak reference. Could probably still work if you wanted to make it FrostChat or something. Quotes on "New Ice queen meta" and the numbers make it easier to read, and aren't actual dialogue so they're not given new lines. could be italicized instead? I'm sure someone else could either mold this into something better or different stylistically. this is just my take on it.

honestly i don't have the greatest grasp on the finer points of grammar so the dialogue formatting might be off. but it's clear, at least to me, which is imo more important.

>>2026760
>fucking gg

I'm much more put off by swearwords of characters that don't swear than real world connections.
I just don't get total-OOC AUs. It makes absolutely no sense. Other than clickbait, of course.
You're writing shit, because you like the characters, not just their visuals, goddammit.

>>2026950
Not him (obviously, since he already posted), but here's my take:
>Elsa had been playing DOTA for nearly three hours now. Though, from the way things were going for her, probably not for much longer. 'God damn it, Ice Maiden, I told you at the beginning that you can't go mid against this draft,' she she said, nearly yelling at her support. 'Will you please stop feeding the TA and just listen for once while we still have a chance at the Aegis and a tower-trade. Otherwise it's fucking gg.' Her teammate grumbled his excuses in return, but she had already tuned the newer player out. "I'm never going to reach the leader-board at this rate", she thought while taking a sip of long since still Mountain Dew, her mind hard at work on how to force a teamfight while they still could take one and hopefully carrying it from there. God willing, she'd find a way. Somehow.

>>2027035
But that's on people. What do you think books are if not the whole story at once?
Instead I'm being treated like an idiot.

>>2027073
Removed some of the more unnecessary details like her team-mate's response (this is about her, he's just a prop) and that she was using Steam. Also tried to drop the more obscure references that wouldn't mean anything to readers unless they were super hardcore DOTA fans. Most of it was both instantly recognizable to even casual DOTA players and fans and acceptable technobabble to anyone who knew nothing about the game, but referencing individual players wouldn't make any sense to most readers.

Like >>2027043 said though, writing is subjective, and this is just my take.

>>2027080
Fanfic is 99% about getting comments. Even if it's just "yay, finally a new chapter XD".

>>2027082
Oh, right. I'd forgotten why people do this.

>>2027081
faux-port = n00b? i left it because i had no idea what it was and didn't bother googling. figured it was DoTA culture lingo.

now i googled it and got a bunch of furry duster balls. maybe it was supposed to be faux-pas which also makes no sense.

>>2027035
I like reading it all at once.

>>2026926
For me it can be the opposite. Write loads and loads, cut thousands of words.

>>2027196
Not saying I didn't cut a lot of shit too. My point is that the final rough edit can look significantly different than the final uploaded version, hence taking time prior to uploading each chapter.

>>2027102
A sort of wordplay with support and fauxpas since support attempting to be something other than a support. It sounds better with a bit of a french pronunciation.

>>2027102
I took it out because I also had no idea what it was, and a google search didn't tell me.

>>2027255
French pronunciation drops the hard T at the end of "port" and leaves you with "foe-pour". The wordplay doesn't really work unless you're using french for the "faux" then switch to English for the "port".

>>2027255
>>2027276
OHHHHHHHH I get it.

... now I'm either retarded or it was a poor choice of wordplay.

New thread

>>2032903