stuff that happens in movies/tv that never happens in real life

>>87627419
Yes

Yes if I dont feel like taking a shower

>male character pees in the toilet
>not in the sink

Like, come on, some realism would be nice.

me. cold water instantly wakes you up.

>>87627419

Yeah, I sometimes do it when I feel sweaty or groggy too.

>>87627419

>character has a few beers
>totally fucking wasted and blacks out

>>87627419
>main character's alarm goes off
>he doesn't lie in bed for 10 minutes wishing he were dead

>man urinates
>doesn't dab his penis with toilet paper
I've walked out on half a dozen movies because of this.

>>87627419
I splash warm water sometimes

>>87627419
>Does anyone actually do this?
Are you underage or just fucking retarded anon?

>>87627593
That really seems like something some French film depicted at some point.

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>>87627419
>character brushes his teeth
>sink isn't covered in blood

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>>87627517

>character poops
>keeps shirt on

>character flushes without looking at his/her poop

>character washes his/her hands when no one else is around

Realism in kinography is dead.

every morning

I always do this. Feels great.

>>87627419
Literally every morning.

>>87627419
>stuff that happens in movies/tv that never happens in real life
>>character wakes up
>>splashes cold water on their face

>Does anyone actually do this?

Yeah, people that have good hygene.

>character's mom makes breakfast and he only takes a single bite cause he's late

>guy comes home to bachelor pad
>turns on tv to see whats on

>>87627678
I take a shower in the morning but don't splash my face with cold water, do I have poor hygiene then?

>>87627588
>alcoholic detected

>sex scene comes up
>woman has a bra on

>character lights up a cigarette
>throws is/puts it out after a single puff

>main characters have sex
>not using a penis beaker to clean up afterwards

>>87627419

Not ritually, but at times yeah. Kinda odd that you find the strange, it's a thing, a trivial thing.

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>man goes to toilet and pees
>washes his hands after and walks out
>he doesn't wash his penis in the sink and drys it off with the little penistowel

>Hears suspicious noise behind them
>Turns around as slowly as humanly possible

No, my butler brings me a steaming face cloth and some fresh squeezed oj. Then I look in my bat mirror and sigh.

>man orgasms, no condom is implied
>woman doesnt cup her cunt and run to the bathroom before cum spills out

really activates my almonds

>couple gets married
>wife doesn't immediately go off the pill without telling husband

>>87627419

>character doesn't pee on the side of the toilet bowl to be quiet

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>>87627773
>doesn't piss in the sink
fucking savage

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>>87627830
>she doesn't violently fart out the cum out of her pussy and asshole

>lots of conflict, drama and high stakes happenings

>guy is gonna fap
>takes out lube

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>>87627854
at home yes, but when i'm outside my home I pee in the toilet, I do it standing in a stall completely naked.

>>87627897

>guy is gonna fap
>has tissues

>school scene comes up
>they don't even have penis inspection day

>Has sex
>doesn't get a cramp
>Isn't sweating profusely

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>>87627932
>guy about to fap
>does not take the smelly cumsock he already came 5000 times into

>>87627932

>guy is gonna fap
>has both lube and tissues

>>87627927
How do you differentiate your penistowel from your handtowel?

>>87627830
They did this on House of Cards once. Kleenex or something.

>character wipes his ass
>no blood

Boy I sure love running to the nearest glass windowed store with many televisions to get my latest news update.

>>87628049
Handtowel?

>>87627719
Underage detected

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>>87628049
the penistowel is smaller in size, its also a very soft towel.

how I do it:
I pull back the foreskin and wash him in the sink, I take the penis towel and then start dipping the head of my cock with it until it is dry, then I pull the foreskin back into place and make sure the foreskin seals tightly.

>>87628071
I actually stopped watching or reading the news, so this is kind of accurate for me.
but more likely it would be inside a restaurant

>>87627607
I'm literally moblefagging in the toilet right now with some serious squirts and you're not helping my situation by making me laugh.

>character pees
>doesn't dip penis inside water to not make any noises

>>87627588
pretty sure americans actually really do this

>>87628116
Use your handtowel to clean your hand after you take a dump and run out of toilet paper. The Toilet Paper crisis of '98 hit us hard in Arkansas.

>>87628071
The only time I've seen this happen was 9/11

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>>87628276
Do you wash it weekly or monthly?

>sex scene
>the woman doesn't ask the man to choke her

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>>87627419
>male character with a has sex
>he doesn't wash his foreskin out in the sink afterward

Who writes this shit?

>>87628381
What's the point of washing it if it's just going to get shit on it again?

>>87628515
Why did they cut his sex scene from Jurassic Park? Not enough time?

>>87627846
i do this so the ghosts won't hear me

>male character doesn't squeeze the little white zit things on the underside of his penis along his circumcision scar

This is supposed to be believable?

>>87628769
You've got HPV my dude. Seek help.

>>87627419
Yes you filthy fuck, you dont wash tour eyes in the morning?

>>87627719
Exactly lcoholics are the people that get drunk from little amount of booze, you dumb monkey

>>87628071

I was in some Sony store during the Casey Anthony verdict. It kind of felt like that.

>>87627642
Watch Hanna

>>87627419
If you need to wake yourself up, yeah splashing cold water in your face works

>>87628810
>HPV
nah its from circumsion I have one and im a virgin

>>87627678
yes because cold water is great at killing germs

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>>87627733
a fucking what

>>87629141
You'll find out when you get laid.

>>87629110
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/13/health/13real.html

>temperatures ranging from 40 degrees Fahrenheit to 120 degrees, the various temperatures had “no effect on transient or resident bacterial reduction.”

>>87628901
>Exactly lcoholics are the people that get drunk from little amount of booze
that's really not how that works

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>>87627855
>violently fart out the cum out of her pussy and asshole
An ex of mine did this. It was always so fucking gross. My wife somehow cleans herself up without being totally disgusting.

>>87629110
It doesn't have much to do with germs. Warm water is better at getting rid of filmy residue from cheap soap though.

>>87627588
>character polishes off a fifth of whiskey
>doesn't order delivery hot wings only to be passed out when they get there
Immersion ruined.

>>87629198
>>87629260
I meant water in general but specified cold water because of op's post

>>87629221
It is tho.
Longtime alcoholics with fucked up livers literally get drunk from a dose of whiskey

>>87629168
Sweet, your sister is coming over tomorrow night to watch Smackdown Live, so I'll report back about the peins beaker on Wednesday.

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>>87627830
>gay sex scene in mr robot
>buttfucker has a towel ready to clean up all the cum

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>>87629342
I thought that was gonna be for any shit that was on his dick.

>>87629340
fight me irl

>>87628126
I was just kidding desu, I can put away more than anybody I know feelsbadman.jpg
>>87628901
>doesn't understand greentext
You have to go back.

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>character takes a shot of liquor
>doesn't make a face and immediately grab a chaser

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>>87627419
>character wakes up and goes into the bathroom
>mirror isn't covered in exploded pimple matter

>>87629415
>pussy detected

>>87629401
Not him, but he's right. Alcoholics build up a resistance over the short term, yes, but over time they exhaust and permanently damage their liver.

>>87629496
literally requires like three decades of hard boozing though

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>>87629533
>two decades left

>>87627419
Yes, people actually wash their face when they wake up.

Here's a shocker - they use soap, too.

>>87627517
>>87627588
>>87627593
>>87627607
>>87627642
>>87627646
>>87627722
>>87628010

I wrote a little screenplay based on this thread. I'll pitch it to my boss, but I wouldn't get my hopes up, considering I work at a pizza restaurant.

>Main character wakes up and pees in the sink, dabbing his penis with toilet paper
>then has a few beers but does not black out
>suddenly his alarm goes off, reminding him to lie in bed for 10 minutes wishing he was dead
>gets back up to brush his teeth, causing severe bleeding in the process
>then goes to poop, but not before taking his shirt off
>later, he has sex with a woman, but he's the one with the bra on
>gets a cramp
>the end

>>87629873
You know, I could see this actually being a movie...

>>87629929
I know it would be a train wreck, but I'd love to see a /tv/ written script for a movie.

>>87629873
get hollywood on the phone

>>87630125
>and your other hollywood

>>87627593
This...
Kek

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>>87630236
IT'S NOT FUNNY

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>character watches the news
>the station is _NN

>>87627419

Once

>>87630464
A mans heart is stonier, lewis.

>>87627698
This always bothers me!

>buying a beer
>drink one sip
>leave the bar

In all seriousness, cold splashes and specifically cold showers release lactic acid from your muscles.

>>87630596
I'm going to need a peer-reviewed paper from a scientific journal to verify this.

>>87629049
Your hpv and horny aunt say otherwise

>character goes to bed
>doesn't wait until he's too exhausted to physically continue staying awake in order to avoid the contemplative period between laying down and falling sleep, because he's too familiar with unbearable deluge of self-loathing that occurs when he's left alone with his thoughts

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>>87631319
Why do we only consider the day's possibilities at the very end?

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>>87631547
Because the rest of the day we're distracting ourselves with work/various other activities. It's why I can't sleep without a podcast or something playing.

>>87631319
jesus christ man, I know that fucking feel

chill out though

>>87631319
>>87631547
every time

>>87631736
>>87631319
>>87631616
I have always suffered this and envy people who sleep after 30 seconds in bed. My secret is just imagining a story anything interesting enough to make me forget about real life. I don't care if it's pathetic it helps

>>87627588
Americans honestly can't handle their liquor. It might be genetic.

My wife (American) is twice my size (fug yuo I like the BBW), but six light beers and she's done. Ditto with my FIL, MIL, SIL, and so on. But I (Canadian) can drink the same amount in hard liquor before I start getting buzzed. Hell, my grand-ma can out drink me.

Now, this might be because there's nothing to do in Canada except drink and smoke (so we're used to it), but I don't know. I've never met an American who could handle their liquor, while the only Canadians I've ever met who can't are from Southern Ontario.

>>87631872
nobody falls asleep that fast, a lot of people think the same shit you do

>>87630495
>This is CNNBCNCBBBBC-ABC-CBA-CICIA *commercial break* -NBE bringing you the news as quickly as possible!

>>87632045
>proud if being an alcoholic

lol

>>87633050
Being able to handle your liquor =/= alcoholic.

You'll learn that once you're old enough to buy your own drinks.

>character walking around alone in his apartment
>doesnt randomly blurt out "NIGGERS" or "IM GAY"

>>87632045

>need to drink over half a gallon of hard liquor to get a buzz

lol ok

>>87628901
It takes me so much to get drunk.
I won't dru around people I don't know well because I don't like being told to slow down or have someone keep track of how many I'm drinking.

>>87629437
Whenever I pop a zit and it splatters like that I feel too proud to wipe it off and it just stays there