american harry potter when

File: images.jpg (6KB, 259x195px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 259x195px

>>87550629
didnt hermoine kiss percy jackson?

salem

File: Order-of-the-Phoenix-ginny-weasley.jpg (96KB, 428x285px) Image search: [Google]

96KB, 428x285px

never
JK Rowling hates America

You can't send Americunts to a magic school, all they'll do is try to grow super weed or put spells on each other for extra super sex

File: 1472759453834.jpg (524KB, 1616x2896px) Image search: [Google]

524KB, 1616x2896px

They already did that in the dullest perioid for the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

>>87550629
Why did the movies depict Harry like a nerd when he's not very smart and leader of the sports team?

>>87551000
Jordan is ultimate Novel Kino

>>87551000
Stale pasta

>>87551266

cause glasses. seriously.

File: episode-18-air-date-05012004-pictured-lidsay-lohan-hermione-rachel-picture-id138441437[1].jpg (412KB, 1024x667px) Image search: [Google]

412KB, 1024x667px

>>87550629
Do you think Linds stuffed her bra for this scene?

>>87550629
Isn't that exactly what Percy Jackson and The Sorcerer's Apprentice and like a half dozen other HP knockoffs are?

>>87551266
Because he had glasses, literally the only reason. In the books he's abit shy at first but literally becomes chad mode in book 5 and 6.

AYYY HOL UP
YOU MEAN
*smacks lips*
WE WUZ
WIZARDS
N
SHIT?

>>87551266
Because he grew up bullied and forced to wear shitty glasses and Dudley's hand-me-downs. I guess he just stuck with the same glasses for some reason. I don't think he was depicted as a nerd though; he was pretty popular at school except for some drama between houses and he was a cocky little shit too.

>>87551459
Prime Lohan was a tity monster.

>>87551459
How can a woman exude so much sexuality? I wouldn't trade this scene for all the porn in the world.

>>87550629
>>87551459

why couldn't we save her bros?

>>87551000
fucking put some effort into the segue u shitter

File: lohan.jpg (356KB, 742x1024px) Image search: [Google]

356KB, 742x1024px

>>87551459
No stuffing. 2004 was the year she got to her largest bra size and in an interview admitted she was up to a 32DD size.

File: 14085512873366.jpg (25KB, 350x420px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 350x420px

>>87550629
Imagine the threads we'd have if prime lohan were alive today

aren't those new movies in america or have everyone literally forgot about them

>>87550629
Damn Harry looks good.

>>87550970
And they're not allowed to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts because that would lead to an increase in teen horcruxes.

>>87551266
In book 6 he becomes the cedric of the school, literally chad the wizard. One girl even tries raping him she loves him so much but ron gets the spell instead as I remember.

>>87551000
Stephen King is good literature though. Ask anyone who actually reads

>>87550970
>professor Johnson, sir, theres been another wand shootout

File: musclemancer.jpg (179KB, 550x976px) Image search: [Google]

179KB, 550x976px

>>87550970
>we don't already

File: ben_linus.jpg (33KB, 448x336px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 448x336px

>>87551815

>>87551732
Strangely, she didn't seem to have a lot of weirdos obsessed with her on the internet back then. She was just a "babe".

>>87551000
>atlas shrugged in top tier
kek

>>87551837
i have this book strangely
i barely read it, just sticked to the sticky, Zyzz and Scooby advice brah

>>87550629
>sexual objectification of 17 year old girl
sick

File: 349943.jpg (42KB, 440x530px) Image search: [Google]

42KB, 440x530px

>>87551730
Well, on second thought maybe she has those little "chick cutlet" things giving her a boost, but mostly that is all Lohan breast meat.

>>87551815
Mahahaha
Mein sides.

Reminder that she did pose for Playboy Magazine. It's not hard to find pictures of her tits.

>>87550629
Looks like a porn shoot

>>87552027
They weren't taken in her true prime though.

>>87550629

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7GpZpoaZaSE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tx1XIm6q4r4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqTHmzMk0Cw

>there is no good HP porn parody

Why live?

>>87552174
I'm honestly surprised.
Everything else has multiple porn parodies usually.

File: 1415790389673.webm (2MB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 640x480px

>>87551914
it was a different time

Been on this earth 32 years. Lindsay Lohan in this particular sketch is the sexiest woman I have ever seen anywhere.

>>87550629
>snl sketch
Fuck you, I pulled down my pants and opened my favorite torrent site ready to fap as soon as I enlarged.

>>87550970
Isn't there an American equivalent of Hogwarts? If I rember correctly the two girls from the spinoff are from it.

>>87552240
she had a nice foot game but we were all too distracted by her breasts to notice

>>87552332
yes, it's themed around native american horseshit though

>>87550629
quick, someone give me the name of the most 2004 lindsey lohan-esque pornstar alive

>>87550970
Sounds dope. is america /ourcountry/?

>>87551609
>he was pretty popular at school
Didn't the whole gryffindor sect turn on him or at the least ignore him during the goblet of fire and order of the phoenix?

>>87552392
of course America is /ourcountry/
what are you, a terrorist?

>>87552232
>surprised a child porn film wasn't made

>>87553258
There is a BamBam/Pebbles porn scene

File: Harry-Potter-BlogHogwarts-Personajes-Tez-Piel.jpg (56KB, 796x566px) Image search: [Google]

56KB, 796x566px

>>87550970
it just wouldn't work

>>87553879
SUPER NINTENTO

SEGA GENESIS

>>87552240
lmao how tall is applegate? like 5'5?
poor bud

>>87551000
>Kike book, nigger book
Lol

>>87550970
>implying that's bad

>>87552027
And Hugh Hefner was disgusted by the pictures and was embarrassed to print them.

They had Photoshop the fuck out of them.

>>87551815
>

>>87550629
>>87550970

The Magicians

>>87551815
ahahhahahahahaha, yeah buddy he's the next tolstoy

>>87551266
Because JK Rowling is a woman and the only men women find socially acceptable are chads.

>>87550629
All-female Harriet Potter when?

>>87555208
What about that nerd who got Luna at the end?

>>87551815
lmfao

>>87556066
If you've seen her now you'd know he got the worst deal

>>87551000
absolutely based

>>87552332
Nogwarts

File: 200_s.gif (48KB, 319x200px) Image search: [Google]

48KB, 319x200px

usa invented harry potter in 1986

>>87553364
They grew up and married