Finally I was forced to watch Rogue One

/tv/ hated it, so your attempt at contrarianism failed

can't name a single character
bravo disney

/tv/ hates it with unrelenting fanatism

>>87478331
Jyn, Cassian, K-2SO, Chirrut, Baze, Bodhi, Krennic, Galen

Come on anon, it ain't SO hard

>>87478365
nice googling

Who forced you to watch it?
Can't you call the police or something to help you?

>>87478365
All from memory amigo

>>87478299
How exactly were you forced to watch it? That doesn't sound like a healthy relationship.

>>87478467
Some bimbo I was trying to fuck but realized too late I wouldn't be able to

>>87478299
I watched it with the RLM commentary track and even the track was worse than their other ones. The movie drains the fun out of everything.

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>>87478299

I'm not a Star Wars fan and I thought it was great. By far the best in the whole series in my opinion.

Maybe it was really like a Star Wars universe film that was not for a more general audience?

>>87478754
>not for a more general audience
>most generic plot in the world
>le funny robot and blind man for kids
>le strong womyn for females
>multicultural cast and white male villain
>hmm did we forget something, oh let's add darth vader killing literal whos for a minute to get the neckbeard audience

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>>87478914
yfw Kathleen Kennedy said they took risks with Rogue One

Rogue one is for faggots

Darth vader scene was great. You gotta admit that

>>87479464
It was fucking stupid and didn't have any purpose other than to market the movie to normies

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>>87478613

>>87478331
Then you must be really dumb

>>87478495
was the movie so bad your dick fell off? can that happen?

>>87479788
>you must be dumb if you can't tell 20 nonwhites with names likes zzzbruththgy and no personality apart

I'm a Star Wars fan who thinks the prequels are shit, mildly enjoyed TFA and hasn't seen Rogue One yet because I'm so burnt out on Disney shit constantly.

Will I like Rogue One? It's hard to know who's trolling on either side of the argument on here. I've also been in love with Felicity Jones for a couple of years now.

>>87478299
>/tv/ is one person
most people hated it here, myself included. took my gf to see it because she wanted to, took all of my energy not to walk out of the cinema about a third of the way through and i wish i did

>>87479513

still would to be desu

daily reminder that Jyn doesn't do any fighting at all in this movie. Not even a little bit. Doesn't shoot a gun, doesn't fight hand to hand, doesn't do anything.

>>87479946
it's god awful. mary sue bland emotionless MC, awful character development, bland supporting actors and more plotholes than running time it's like an incredibly shit and more diverse version of halo reach's story

>>87480015

But she hits those stormtroopers with her stick

>>87480015
she does a bit in jedha and some shooting at eadu

>>87479946

then you're clearly not a star wars fan.

"im an Indiana jones fan! but i havnt actually seen all of the movies".

"im a lord of the rings fan! but i never saw the third one"

"im a harry potter fan! But i never got around to watching them all"

this is how stupid you sound

>>87480066
it's more like
>I'm an indiana jones fan but I didn't see 4 because I heard it was terrible and didn't want to ruin my love of the character
>I'm a lord of the rings fan but I didn't see the latter hobbit movies because the first one was shit
>I'm a harry potter fan but I didn't see fantastic beasts because it has shallow cash grab written all over it

go fuck yourself

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>>87480066
>reddit spacing
>using quotation marks instead of meme arrows

>>87478365
I have a preatty good memory and I can't remember who anyone of those are.

>>87480066

I'm a fan of the original three films. It doesn't mean I have to be there opening night with my toy lightsaber and Jedi robes. I bet you think Robocop fans should watch Robocop 3 as well.

/tv/ can't analyse movies: today i've learned something new

>>87478299
/tv/ has bad taste

R.O. was basically fan service but it was okay since it isn't part of the series. TFA on the other hand was complete dogshit and totally unoriginal. Rey can use Jedi mind tricks, force pull, drive the Falcon with no prior experience, fix the Falcon for Han and wield a lightsaber against a trained fighter. Why does she need Luke again?

>>87480169
Rogue One is a horrible cash grab that people adore because it gets half the star wars aesthetic right
Here's a comparative list about what is "Star Wars" about "RO" and what "isn't Star Wars:"

Is SW: Y-Wing Bomber runs, X-wing formations, and old-school tech-meets futurism
Isn't SW: Blue milk and battle chess, along with another 1000 winks and nods to "true fans"

Is SW: Imperial Officer political ambition
Isn't SW: CGI Tarkin

Is SW: Empire destroying relics of ancient civilizations in their quest for power, symbolically and practically
Isn't SW: Jihadi Rebels

Is SW: A wisecracking droid
Isn't SW: That same droid mentioning "the odds" 5-7 times (no exaggeration)

Is SW: damaged child-parent relationships and their healing being a major driving force for the protagonist
Isn't SW: having the protagonist save a screaming child in "not-Allepo" as her moral affirming moment a half-hour into the film

Is SW: Planet hopping adventure, new and different environments
Isn't SW: Jedha (totally not Jedi) and making the force into a Semetic religion

Is SW: Rebels keeping the memory of the force alive in the fight against the empire
Isn't SW: A blind monk skilled in martial arts which prays to the force (there's no praying in Star Wars)

Is SW: "Don't choke on your ambition"
Isn't SW: Darth Vader's $50 Halloween costume

Is SW: classic ship/suit designs and new designs which fit alongside them very nicely
Isn't SW: modern political war aesthetic of the rebels (grenades, black bags, turbans)

Is SW: pretending to be prisoners, stealing uniforms to go undercover, protagonists not trusting each other until the end
Isn't SW: the rest

>>87480327
"Rogue One" is probably most easily described as a movie about faith made by the faithless. It forgets that the Force was more about mysticism than religion, because to the faithless there is no distinction. The Force now has holy sites, relics, a common following outside of the Jedi order, terrorist extremists fighting in its name, and monks which annoyingly murmur fake prayers in an attempt to appear as otherworldly and devout. None of this shit would fly in the original trilogy, and to me is as egregious as midichlorians.

The modern politicizing of the rebellion is more disturbing than interesting. Why bring modern politics into it? It adds nothing. I've noticed a large cry from people of my generation for a more "gritty" or "realistic" Star Wars. What's the point? Star Wars isn't gritty or realistic. It's a fun for the whole family mystical space fantasy. I have a feeling that people who want gritty realism in Star Wars only want it because they want to imbue the childish simplicity of Star Wars with some kind of "maturity" so as to excuse the fandom. The result, I find, is that instead of making Star Wars more meaningful they instead make a mockery of legitimate terror and the horrors of war by using it as an aesthetic to dress up a children's story for people who refuse to grow up.

2/3

>>87480364
There's also been a cry for "Star Wars without the Jedi." I have news for you folks; there is nothing, NOTHING, interesting about Star Wars other than the Jedi. The entire original story is a classic take on the heroes journey; the discovery and emboldening of the force being that journey for Luke Skywalker. George Lucas' original intent for the series was to take the mysticism of western folk lore and make it into a samurai film with the aesthetic of classic science fiction serials. That's exactly what he did, and that's exactly what makes Star Wars interesting. The universe, technology, politics, and characters are written and centered around the idea that the force ties it all together, and the Jedi are the embodiment of that idea. Remove the Jedi and all you have is an empty aesthetic.

Themes and ethics aside, the story also undermines the beginning of "A New Hope" by providing a concrete context for the beginning of the film; instead of Vader's arrogance and strong will putting the rebel ship under siege, it's now him chasing after the death star plans we know he saw slip away. Instead of Leia calling the Tantive IV a consular ship, we just saw it slip away from an intergalactic battle on an espionage mission. It takes what could have been a clever transition and ruins it by not thinking it over more than once.

The film is fine; it's ending for sure keeps up a momentum and energy on the side of the rebellion in a fashion which imbues the series with a freshness to the conflict that hasn't existed since the first star wars movie. However, its very obviously a fanfiction style story which has no business being taken seriously.

3/3

I literally can't remember what the lead character's name was. Or anyone at all. In fact I can barely remember the movie.

Absolute pleb fodder.

>>87480109
>I'm a lord of the rings fan but I didn't see the latter hobbit movies because the first one was shit
This applies to many guys I know irl

>>87478331

I can name all the characters from The Room, I guess it must be a well made movie.

>>87479946
It does a good job of getting the aesthetics of the OT.
Its got problems I guess. Missed opportunities for characterization that hurts the emotional stakes in the film. I enjoyed it more than TFA.
If you've got netflix its on there, no reason not to check it out if you're mildly interested.

I loved it. Probably even more than TFA.

I don't like how everyone died though at least throw us a bone

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>Killing my waifu at the end

Why did they hurt her? ;_;

>>87480449
if you can remember the characters then yeah that means it's already better than this trash

>>87478299

I think Rogue One had the world building and original story idea right, but it failed when it came to handling references, and building characters that you would care about. It's problems are all together different than those of TFA or something shitty like AotC. To some anon's RO's problems were less of an issue than the problems those other movies had. It's possible for something to be "bad" but also be "less bad" than something else.

Honestly the only things that really pissed me off about Rogue One were the fucking awful in your face references, like "you best watch yourself" man and his buddy appearing in Jeddah, or the fucking imperial probe droid, or R2 / 3PO showing up for no fucking reason. The movie is littered with jarring "hey you remember this?" bullshit that constantly interrupts any kind of immersion you were building.

The fact that Jyn's character was poorly written and the only likable characters were stick man and gun man is an issue, but we've had other star wars movies devoid of likable characters that people continue to praise and enjoy.

When it comes to aesthetic tho I'll take every star wars movie from here on like this one. Actual used future look, actual star wars feel, correct props, correct use of technology, everything finally felt right. Even the prequels fucked this up horribly. Rogue One is the first star wars movie since Jedi to actually nail the world of Star Wars.

>>87480379

Jedi and Sith are boring as fuck and lightsaber fights are even more boring. The most interesting characters in the OT were the non force users. The prequel trilogy essentially worshiped the all mighty lightsaber and it was a boring disaster on screen.

>>87480412
>can't remember the names
This is a lie whenever someone says it. Off the top of my head there was

Orson Krennic
Galen and Jyn Erso
Cassian Amor
Chirrut Imwe
Baze Malbus
K-2SO
Bodi... Rook? Rusk?

The only one I can't remember is the radical leader. And that was just the new guys.

>>87480517
how would a straight man rate her out of 10. I'm going to guess a 6.5?

Would it have been better if the main character was male?

>>87480657

Saw Guerra

>>87480669

Not really. Jyn being a woman didn't even factor into the story so she could have been male and it would have made no difference, no one treated her any differently because she was a girl in the script.

>>87480676
Saw. Thank you.

And my autocorrect turned Andor into Amor. Weird.

>>87480626
>The most interesting characters in the OT were the non force users
only in the way they interact with and are affected by Force users. Han Solo is interesting because of his arc; how he's the scoundrel who comes back at the end to save the day. He comes back because his time with Luke taught him to value friendship and morality. That was the force.
>prequels worshiped the lightsabers
because they were bastardized into a CGI fest instead of treated as samurai sword fights. Ever notice how Yoda and The Emperor don't have lightsabers in the OT? The implication is that lightsabers are only for the young and less powerful force users. It's a tool of force that is necessary so long as the user isn't mature enough in the force to completely bend it to their will

it seems that you haven't put any thought whatsoever into the meaning behind things in the movies

>>87480657
It's not a lie, how is anyone supposed to remember those kinds of names? They are maybe mentioned once if even at all and the characters have no personality or anything to make me care about them. I can't connect any of those names with the faces of the characters other than the main girl and I can't name a single character trait for any of them

>>87479493
That sequence was so fucking badass. Enjoy a good fucking movie when it's presented to you. They made Vader look more fucking rad in that small sequence compared to the entire movie that failed to give Kylo the same impression.

>>87480770
I enjoy good movies but this shit flick did not have a single good scene and people calling the worst scene of the worst movie of the year good just shows the level of this board

It was a forgettable action flick. Enjoyable to watch once and nothing more.

It's been a while since I've seen it and I can't remember any of the character's names.

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>>87480770
>That sequence was so fucking badass

>>87478331
I saw this film and I think they only mentioned the names of the Chinese guys once and I lost it, so for half the film I had no idea what they were called.

Was frustrating as fuck for me.

>>87480747

The problem with "the force" is the frustratingly binary duality that is forced into the narrative. You're either a good guy jedi or a bad guy sith. Lucas did not allow for a middle ground and there never really is any. Also the force has now been canonized mostly by Lucas as a list of preset powers and abilities instead of being an actual "energy field" that you tap into and do with what you please. All sith can shoot force lightning, everyone can throw rocks, people can use mind tricks, bad guys can choke people from across the room or through tv screens, etc... It's really fucking boring. You'll note that when Rey discovers she has force powers she doesn't do anything new with them which would be what should happen because she's never been given any training at all. Instead she does what we've already seen other force characters do because again the force is just a list of spells like what you'd find in a D&D book.

Star Wars is bigger than the force and the stupid jedi and sith, it's a big fantasy universe with some interesting organizations and characters and you can tell w/e kind of stories you want to within it. The old EU for all of its many faults created some characters that people like a hell of a lot better than what we got in the movies. Star Wars has the potential to be really big and interesting, but the force bullshit is just a giant shackle on everything and because of it's limited scope due to George it will always feel shallow and stupid.

>>87480066

Unquestioningly gobbling down everything with "Star Wars" written on it doesn't make you more of a fan than someone who only likes the good stuff.

>>87480327
>having the protagonist save a screaming child in "not-Allepo" as her moral affirming moment a half-hour into the film


LOL, just realized that girl would have been nuked a half hour later.

All of the elements I liked were from the original movies. The new robot had some solid quips but they took me out of the movie. Laughs can work in establishing empathy for the characters but should be held back when trying to establish the severity of the conflict the characters are facing.

The Death Star blast killing the guy that had built it was weak. The angle of the blast hits him on the tower? The angle just didn't make sense as it then travels off miles away?

Forrest Whittaker's character was ridiculous. One aspect that is that he is mostly mechanical like Darth Vader. Ok, that's an element they introduce but you either get full on robots, people or ... people that are mostly robot. Where's all of the in between? What does that mean? What does it mean that you can have a mostly robot guy that is good?

There is no reason to have a mostly robot guy in contrast to the other mostly robot guy that is bad. If there had been some link then the character may have served some purpose. Instead he just decided he's done running and stands at his front door and meets his death.

Later on bunny teeth and fez from That 70s Show resign themselves and meet their deaths in a similar way but there is no link. There is no link to any of the principle character's deaths when there easily could have been if the character's served the narrative instead of serving a quota only.

/rant

>>87479967
>Tfw your wife hates rogue one more than you.

Feels good man.

>>87481102
>frustratingly binary duality that is forced into the narrative. You're either a good guy jedi or a bad guy sith.
yes and no. Yes the force itself is extremely binary but that's because at the root of it all it's based on the classic western values of good vs evil. If you really can't be OK with that then that is your problem. And no, because look at both your statement and my own about han solo; non-force users are clearly in the "middle" yet align to one side or another. Boba Fett allies with the Empire because he only cares about money; Han Solo allies with the Alliance because he's a thief with a heart of gold and was influenced by his exposure to the force to trust in it. You can have extremely interesting characters by seeing how they react to and are influenced by the forces of good and evil.
>preset abilities
what can I say? the prequels are trash. I don't need to defend them because they suck
>Rey doesn't do anything new
because Disney and co. are cash grabbing hacks. I don't need to defend that either.

Star Wars as a franchise is complete horse shit but it has nothing to do with the force being boring or the jedi/sith duality being too unrealistic to connect with. Star Wars doesn't have any interesting organizations or characters or conflicts that don't align with good/evil because that's what the universe was built upon. I mean if you have autism sure you can appreciate the ship designs all you want but don't pretend that there's anything in the EU that holds a candle to the thematic core of the OT

>>87478299
Both Disney Wars movies have been 1/10. They can't write, they have zero talent.

Usually a good way to tell if a film is decent is to follow these steps:

Step 1: head to /tv/'s catalog
Step 2: Find out what the autistic cucks are saying. The more autistic, the better.
Step 3: Assume that the opposite is true.

If /tv/ hates a film it's usually pretty good. You're all a bunch of joyless, hopelessly jaded contrarians, and I honestly wonder why you haven't offed yourselves yet.

>>87478365
which one is the spic and chinks?

>>87481893
>They can't write, they have zero talent.
Disney running Star Wars into the ground provides opportunity for the right artist to grow something new from Star Wars the way it came from Flash Gordon.

???

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>>87481913
>if you don't slop op cash grab blockbusters that don't make sense and have absolutely no substance then you have autism and your opinions are wrong

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Mads Mikkelsen deserved so much better

>>87478331
There was the girl
Three-4 Asian dudes
The robot
Wasn't there like, a wookie or some alien shit?
Fuck I forgot almost everything about this movie

>>87481913
It was really bad, and I have low standards as fuck.

>>87478299
contrarianism like prequel "lovers"

>>87480517
Post more. She knows that people like her for her teeth.
>>87480661
8, but I'm usually too generous unless the person's face makes me mad.

TFA was a crime against Star Wars.
Rouge One was simply a bland movie. It had some interesting ideas and some characters with potential, but was overally dull.

>>87478299
Best Star Wars movie. Hands down. Empire fags need not reply.

>>87479946
>mildly enjoyed TFA
>I'm a Star Wars fan

>>87482058
Look. This poor creature is autistic.

>>87480661

Solid 7.

> thinks any Star Wars movie will be a masterpiece

Have you been paying attention?

>>87480139
H3 is the only remotely likable thing on reddit

TFA had 2 dimensional characters at least. R1 has had 1 dimensional characters

>>87481727
Saw was very obviously a fucked up person who'd lost his way. He tortured his prisoners and broke the rules of the rebellion. He'd lost his mind with paranoia and the robot parts showed his desire to live beyond the point where he should have given up. He was a human held together with junk, just like Vader. That doesn't make him a hero.

To be honest, he was one of the more interesting and ambiguous parts of the movie. The Rebel agent who was willing to kill his allies to keep secrets safe was the only other interesting idea in an otherwise by the numbers movie.

>>87480465
>It does a good job of getting the aesthetics of the OT.

maybe in terms of costumes and shit, but the movie just looks fucking ugly.

>>87483542
in what world?

>>87485185
this one

>>87478299


It started up ok, seemed like it could go somewhere good. But it soon got tropey and nothing special. The only reason I gave a damn about Jyn dying is because I have a crush on Felcity Jones.

Darth Vader made it worth it.
All SW movies are mediocre films that are highlighted by people using the force, big ships shooting lasers and people swinging blueberry swords at each other

>>87486237
I would have been fine with Vader if he actually did something but he was clearly just added there to sell more tickets and did nothing relevant to the plot

>>87479890
Oh wow nonwhite was an absolutely essential part to this sentence.

Why does /pol/ ruin anything it touches?

>>87486725
>t. ahmed

>>87486868
That's the best you can come up with? Seriously?

>>87486916
every nonwhite looks the same so it's impossible to keep track on who's who, that's why it's relevant

>>87486982
Implying whites are le varied and totally distinguishable

>>87487083
much more than nonwhites, also not everyone and their mother is named mohammad so that helps too

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>>87487131
Actually thinking christcuck names are any better

>>87480517

It was basically suicide bombing - the movie. Would have made for a great ISIS recruitment video

>>87487371
>thinking christcuck classes are 90% johns and not hundreds of biblical names

>>87487493
Not realising that the same is literally true for mudslimes

I literally shut this movie off in the opening 10 minutes. It was fucking abysmal

>>87487530
sure thing friendo

>>87487371
>>87487131
>>87487493
>>87487530
>having a name
jesus christ reddit.

if you have an identity or a social security number fuck off back to whatever shithole site you came from

>>87486725
ugh i know

i wish we could downvote problematic posts like that, such comments MUST be met with consistent negative reinforcement

we ARE reddit, and we ARE here to stay

watch out, racist nazis...

>>87478299
It wasn't that bad, I also watched it for the first time a few days ago.
My worst complaint is that the characterization felt rushed and as a result I didn't really buy that any of these characters genuinely cared about each other (except monk guy and mini gun guy), a bit more interaction was all it needed to be pretty great.

Other problems: cgi cameos of red/gold leaders, Tarkin, and leia were distracting and unnecessary
Combat was pretty poorly done and felt like a choreographed hero movie instead of a firefight (compared poorly to the firefights in a new hope, for example)
Some of the speeches felt a bit unearned, and why was jyn at the planning table or allowed to talk at all?

It was refreshing seeing a movie where everyone just fucking dies even though they accomplished their mission

>>87478365
Holy shit, kill yourself.

>>87487727
What's the problem with not wanting /pol/tards saying retarded shit? Is your narrative so fragile that you can't even stand opposing viewpoints anymore? Sounds familiar.....

>>87478334
That's a good thing /tv/ is almost always wrong...

>>87482116
Why did he even sign on to this shit, it's so beneath his ability it's not even funny.

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>>87480066
>you can't be a fan of something unless you consume absolutely everything produced that bears its name or is set in the same universe
I thought this was pretty good bait until about halfway through, then I realized you were serious. I'm a huge Star Wars fan, have multiple versions of the OT, have read more novels than I could possibly remember, and literally had my first fap session to slave Leia in the pre internet period but according to some faggot on the internet I'm not a fan if I don't watch some soulless bland trash with unlikeable characters, hero's journey that's been done better countless times, and a mcguffin that is the core of episodes IV and VI? Take off your non prescription glasses, tie your "nerd" shirt into a noose and hang yourself.

>>87487843
>muh /pol/ boogeyman

>>87479946
you know those tie-in novels that Star Wars has had for decades where they take all the vehicles, settings, etc. and have new characters use them while filling it a tiny bit of the unexplored plot of the movies?

Rogue One is like they made a movie out of one of those books.

>>87487727
I honestly love the blatant ones more than the subtle ones. They make me laugh more.

>>87480770
>enjoy a movie
Where do you think you are?