>they start charging a cinematic universe tax

>they only see crab legs if you go to an ocean-related movie

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>you will never pay off the interest on your ticket-ripper courses

>>87409088
>tfw we lost another ticket ripper this week at my kinoplex

>another falcon fell into the molten butter trough

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>my local kinoplex can't afford a Robert unit

>>87408949
Memes aside, my local AMC theater refused to let me enter and had to get the security to escort me back to the ticket booth to get a refund since I wasn't wearing shoes. I was wearing fresh socks though that they could clearly see were clean.

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>shortcut through the popcorn mines has been sealed off by the new updated armory

>>87409520
excuse me, why the fuck weren't you wearing shoes

>>87409520
???

>>87409520
Doesn't USA have a 'No Shirt, No Shoes, No Sale' rules or something like that?

>>87408949

>go see the avengers in the theater
>packed
>theres almost an entire row of these really awkard looking man children decked out in avengers geer
>they literally start chanting "AVENGERS! AVENGERS!" when they get tired of waiting for the movie to start
>loudly and obnoxiously laugh at every joke

this was the last time I went to the theater. Im sure now it nothing but loud minorities and white trash

>local kinodome tried to make me rent one of their falcons instead of bringing my own
you can bet the kinoboard is going to hear about this

>it was a cold night, colder than most nights should be. The type of night that makes you wonder if God really is up in his heavens. Me and my platoon were trudging along the forward end, the evil known as the the enforcers were in plain view. The cruel bastards were slaving away the bones of the poor ticket rippers, who looked like their chests were about to give out at the slightest pressure of the world around them. It was here that me and my men hid behind the counter lines, waiting to ambush a group of enforcers, ready to pounce pike well trained jackels on a caribou. Suddenly, without notice a blnding flash of light had gone off near the butter molten pits. It was too late. Charlie had gotten the drop on us, and had used the flash of the watchtower lights to blind us, a grid of white and yellow started flexing in our direction, and we were no longer hidden from their sight.
> the red blood streamed across my face, it's prescence felt unfamiliar, and I simply stood and froze, unable to process what was happening around me. One by one my men started going going limp, their bodies fell to the ground, no signs of life, only the stench of death.
>I turned my head slowly, the moment from looking at my dying comrades to looking at the enemy with their cold steel eyes felt like a lifetime.
>there, the man just stared. I stared back. The empty abyss of his soul visible from behind the mask.
>he began to speak
>"we told you"
>a moment of silence
>"no singles"

>with the utterance of the last word, a quick flash of fire and then. Nothing.

>Gods prescence was surely gone

>>87409520
Good. It's reassuring to see slovenly behavior like this isn't tolerated.

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>you finally get selected but the in-theatre rape dwarf is sick that day

>>87409520
what the actual fuck?

>>87409520
Why weren't you wearing shoes?

>>87409520
you deserved to get kicked out

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>mfw my Falcon got rotbeak and has been sick all week so no trip to the kinoplex

>>87409520
How can your socks be clean if you're not wearing shoes?

Are you fat/a neckbeard?

>>87409691
>>87409827
>>87409759
>>87410026

I don't have AC in my car and it was like 95 degrees out and took them off at a red light and threw them into the back sea on the way to the theatre. Couldn't be bothered to put them back on when I got there.

Socks are basically shoes anyway. How does the material of the footwear make any difference?

>>87410053
>not having a falcon rental in your local kinosphere
Mine is right next to the anvil repair kiosk, what fucking shit hole do you live in that doesn't have a falcon rental kiosk?

>>87409520
lmao senpai it isn't because you weren't wearing shoes it was because you didn't do the secret ticker ripper no shoes greeting, baka i bet you haven't even been to the cinema rooftop pool parties hahahaha you fucking pleb

>>87409017
it's all about an immersive experience

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>tfw the guy at the ticket booth says "nice shirt" and you look down and realize you accidently came all over the bottom of your shirt while you were having your premovie jerk off time

>>87408949
> tfw discount for seeing the cinematic universe in order

>>87410114
Omg. You're disgusting. You're civilized society privileges are revoked.

>>87410114
you were hot in your car so you took your shoes off? I wouldn't ever think to do this. What is wrong with you?

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just postingh thios so i can save on my otyherr computer.

>>87410183
But I was wearing a white shirt though how could he have known??

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>>87409520
>>87410114
>redditors immediately take the bait as soon as someone says "memes aside"

>>87410114
>reality is more absurd than kinoplex memes

>>87408949
>go home to visit my family for Christmas
>they decide they want to see The Force Awakens on Christmas Eve
>we go to our usual theater, but they're sold out
>we try a different one, that we didn't realize is predominately frequented by black teenagers
>scores of nogs screaming, dancing, laughing, literally shucking Anna jiving in the lobby
>luckily my senpai is super tolerant
>we buy our tickets and proceed to a theater occupied by about 10 or 15 scared and confused looking white people
>watch the movie
>have to piss but don't want to get mugged in the bathroom
>once the movie is over we head back into the lobby, but something is different
>same number of nogs, still only 3 or 4 security guards, but it's much quieter
>head into the parking lot
>literally the second our feet hit the pavement a swarm of 30-40 nogs starts running screaming into the parking lot
>they're all beating the shit out of each other
>we're in the middle of a mini-riot
>my dad tries to break up one of the fights, but I pull him away before he gets swarmed
>we hurry to the car and leave

That was the last time I went to the kinoplex

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>>87410114
>Socks are basically shoes anyway.

>>87410114
>Couldn't be bothered to put them back on when I got there.

What's so difficult about putting your fucking shoes on?

>go to movie theater in Dublin to see new Alien movie
>friend already reserved tickets online
>walk up to ticket ripper
>he lets us all in with no problems
>we all enjoy the movie and go out for drinks afterwards

fucking hate cinemas!

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>>87409520

>>87410114
I don't know the worse crime, poverty or autism.

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>>87410114
>>87409520

>>87409881
similar thing happened when the first new star trek line of movies came out, literal autismos putting their hands up like spock and turning around to see if people were noticing that they were doing the gesture

they were yelled at by a fat dad

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>go to local kinoplex
>"enjoy your movie kind stranger! :DD"
>"f-for you"

>>87410603
>do a full year abroad in italy
>new friends take me to theater
>they sell beers at the concession
>buy one and a bag of chips
>pretty much everyone is drinking
>can't concentrate on movie since I'm looking around nervously for cops
>sneakily sipping on my beer, feel like a fucking criminal
>halfway through, they stop the fucking movie for intermission so people can go get more beers, go to the bathrrom, or go outside to smoke
>they do fucking intermissions at the movies in italy
>actually stopping a movie you paid for and ruining the immersion
>i have no idea what the fuck is happening and friends can't understand why I'm bugging out

This actually happened.

>>87410847
>beers and an intermission

How will young autism ever process it?

>>87410961
I don't care if a movie is 4 hours long. Intermissions are NOT okay.

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>theater shooter does underwhelmingmjob and barely grazed me
>buy a bucket of crab legs
>frame him for theft by hiding it in his falconry bag and claim he stole it
>alert a Robert unit about the orchesteated crime
>he gets sentenced to 25 years no trial in the popcorn mines
That'll teach you to shoot right between my eyes next time faggot

>kinoplex by my apartment serves beer, has reserved seating, and all the other basic things
>American in-laws visiting
>decide to see a movie

>they start losing their minds when I order the tickets online before we head out
>they look like they're having aneurysms as I e-mail their tickets and tell them to keep their phones handy
>they look like they're having a stroke as the bus pulls up right outside the apartment and quickly takes us to the theater
>their arms are literally shaking when they see beer at the concessions stand, and reasonably-priced snacks
>get a drink, they seem frightened by the touch-screen soda fountain, and intimidated by the small (read: normal) cups
>heading in the automated ticket booth scans our phones, visible looks of confusion on their faces
>say "oh, our seats are over here", and can see them losing their patriotism as they realize we don't need to fight for a seat
>get comfy in our leather recliners, lean the chair back with electric controls and order a beer through the theater's app
>employee comes by a few minutes later with drinks, FIL goes to pay but he says "oh, it was already paid through the app. Enjoy the movie!"
>they give up their American citizenship as they fall to their knees, not realizing how truly third-world their movie experience had been until then

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>>87410114
>How does the material of the footwear make any difference?

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>live in small town
>go to theater
>literally never been more than 4 other people in there at once
/comfy/ theatre feels

>>87411454
Your theater is going to close within the next few years. Enjoy it while you can.

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>>87409520
>>87410114
Was it autism?

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>>87409620
>>87409490
>>87408949
>>87409995
>>87410053
>>87410255
>>87410731
>>87411454
>frens

>visiting us from poland
>go to american kinoplex
>only serve fried corn and hotdog
>have to tip the usher and show then your ticket
>people smirk at you if you go alone at certain times
>all in all you spend like $60 for a movie
the fuck is up ameribros

>see new spiderman movie
>visit the kinoplex
>qt tix ripper
>shuffle over to her crab style
>"your ticket please"
>start making loud baby noises and throwing myself on the floor to impress her
>"sir, calm down, theres no need to get angry"
>pull my pants down and start thrusting the air while making suggestive noises, hopefully she will get the hint
>"s...sir please I don't know how to-"
>group of policy enforcers start to take notice
>a group of 5 or 6 pile on top of me
>slip away because I greased myself with butter beforehand
>watch amazing spiderman
>go home

>>87410114
I actually understand this.

Don't feel bad anon. Next time just slip them off in the theatre

>>87409520
>I was wearing fresh socks though that they could clearly see were clean.

lol

desu i like you

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>mfw the robertron unit is busy dealing with an autismo who thinks shoes and socks are the same thing and I'm able to sneak past and see a kino solo

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>tfw i sneakily take off my shoes 70 minutes into the movie and quickly put them back on before anyone notices

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>>87412650

>forget to tie my shoelaces
>shoes fall off while I'm on the inverted roller coaster that takes you to the theater
>the automated turrets shoot me when I get off

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>>87409520

>>87413175
>slip my Reeboks off as the trailers start
>an usher comes by during the opening credits
>forces me to leave for violating the no singles policy
>realize I left my sneakers behind as he's escorting me out
>"Don't worry sir, we'll mail them to you."
>As I'm driving home I realize he never took my address

>>87413093
this deserves Reddit gold

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>>87408949
>At my local Kinoplex
>Flick militia are standing guard, having taken over another outpost on their campaign against good cinema.
>They threaten to behead my sister if I don't go to see the new Thor sequel, hope for the best.
>Don't have a girlfriend, so I pair up with a local man who was threatened in a similar way, he's pretty cute and talks about video games a lot.
>Get to the checkpoint, say that we're a gay couple to get past, but the grand inticketor doubts it.
>She demands we prove it, he looks a bit shy, I give him a kiss on the cheek and whisper that it's for our siblings.
>It's not enough for her, a militia soldier forces the boy to his knees, forces him to blow me.
>Everyone's angry because I'm taking too long to blow my load, holding up the line.
>They force my cum to be shot into a bucket to be used for the buttered popcorn.
>We're allowed through, but they keep their eyes on me.
>Since we had sex outside we get to pass the penis inspection checkpoint, so that was pretty nice.
>Sit down, and lean in to the cute boy and whisper into his ear
>No homo

>>87410189
I do this, feels better driving a manual barefoot

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>mfw the concession stand at my my local flickorama started selling psychedelics after 11pm

>>87414128
This, I take off my shoes every time I drive during the summer and it feels so good to wrap my toes around the pedals and itch them nicely

The handle on the wind-up kino alarm is broken in the largest screen of the theatre so now nobody can tell what scene to enjoy. The scene explainer at the front won't tell either.

>>87409520
>he doesn't wear handmade clogs to the kinoplex

Pleb

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...well, brehs?

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>go to kinoplex with parents
>don't have to take off my shoes while going through security

they weren't even my actual parents

>bring my falcon for the first time
>his recovery is terrible, and he has no out of shield options
>I go 0 - 2 in pools

what the fuck is this thread, I don't think any of this shit happened.

>>87414826
>1. Proceed to manspread and put one arm around the shoulder of remaining girl
>2. Trick question, ditch class and head for the girl's dorms
>3. Tuxedo without the jacket
>4. The D
>5. They have spotted some dweeb who has violated the no-singles policy
>6. Coke sniffing privacy and tampon disposal

>>87415226
>>1. Proceed to manspread and put one arm around the shoulder of remaining girl
PASS.
>>2. Trick question, ditch class and head for the girl's dorms.
HALF-CREDIT
>>3. Tuxedo without the jacket
PASS.
>>4. The D
FAIL.
>>5. They have spotted some dweeb who has violated the no-singles policy.
HALF-CREDIT.
>>6. Coke sniffing privacy and tampon disposal
FAIL.

>>87409520
Include me in the screencap

>anvil rental up 25 percent because of anvil hoarders not returning them

They have too many as it is.

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>>87410114

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>>87409520
>>87410114

does cinema get filtered as kinoplex or is it just a hot new meme

>>87414826

1. Stay where I am but make use of the available space if need be

2. I'm not American so none of this makes sense to me

3. The prom is actually a real thing? Hahaha.

4. Nothing

5. Something she found funny

6. To piss

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>They use the 3D glasses technology to alter the faces of the star actors actresses so if you don't pay for the more expensive ticket they look like generic no name people

>>87415811
You are the one that must be new here.

>>87415915
but i've been here for over a year

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>>87414826
>yfw Premium member of BreedReel program

>>87414826
1. Nothing. Just stay sitting there confidently, talking loudly on the phone to your best female friend if you feel insecure
2. Text one of the qt's in your class to sign you in as on time and then grab a bagel on your way
3. A tuxedo, but halfway through ditched the bowtie and jacket
4. Probably nothing, it happens all the time. But glance back at her to make sure. If she glances back at you then it's on
5. Probably because they saw something moderately sexual and are inexperienced.
6. Because as well as gossiping about the day's events and unloading, sometimes girls also need to take a whizz

>>87414826
Please tell us more about BreedReel program

>>87415064
Summer's over. Why are you still here?

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>>87415988
>tfw the BreedReel program turns out to just be Robert fucking my wife's daughter in the boiler room

>>87415811
>hot new meme
Consider yourself lucky that Robert wasn't around to hear that.

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>the theater shooter is late

>>87416240
>he accidentally brought squirt guns

>>87415913
I want this. Big name actors take me out of the movie

>>87410183
>go to work in the hood delivering kitchen appliances
>coworkers keep gazing down at my belt buckle
>irrational fear that my pants are unzipped haunts me throughout the day
>suddenly, a wild crackwhore appears
>"mm honey wass dat on yo shirt eheheh"
>look down and realize there is a jizz stain prominently spewn all over the hem of my polo

Had to furl it up for the rest of the day,but I'm pretty sure everyone noticed.

>>87411281
American theaters in cities have all that stuff. My local AMC megaplex does all that.

>>87410154
>>87409017
>can't eat crab legs during a movie set in a casino

fucking Robert, I want to be like the high rollers while the bulls go to town

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who /arclight/ here?

>>87410114
anon, your mistake was not taking the socks off and pretending to be a hobbit

then you could sit in whatever disability seat you want which happens to grant priority access to the designated shooter (the falcon might be a problem). Robert is a fair kinomeister, follow his ways

dumb question but is moviepass worth it?

>>87417016
Kinoplex doesnt support it though.

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>tfw the Safety Officer at my local kinoplex gave me a fine for not wearing my seatbelt while watching a movie

these new safety rules are getting ridiculous

>>87410114
there's literally nothing wrong with this, everyone who disagrees is a brainwashed by society monkey that follows norms

>>87417375
anon, the rules are there for you protection
stop being a wannabe a hardass

>>87408949
>observing the debut of Blade Runner 2049
>feel the compulsion to urinate throughout the film
>the pressure is nearly beyond my ability to contain
>my resistance to this urge takes priority over my regard for the cinematic experience
>upon the conclusion of the kino i realize my error as i fail to recollect what i had spent my last two hours witnessing
>march to the kinoplex council's office immediately after relieving myself
>enter their vast chamber, the immensity of the hall is dwarfed only by the largest stadium in the state
>the ceiling and walls are decorated with the skinned bodies of those who have violated the no singles policy
>in the pits below, i hear the wailing cries of these foul criminals, whose souls now fuel the concessions stand
>my gaze wanders to the center, where the council awaits me
>the kino council consists of beings beyond our feeble dimensions of space and time; by our understanding of existence, they are wholly omnipresent and omniscient
>they are tall and slender, garbed in gilded cloaks that appear to float rather than rest upon what i assume to be their flesh
>i creep towards the central platform
>"uhh... excuse me...", i mutter to the ominous collective
>the council rests in a cool silence, perhaps deeming me unworthy of their attention
>"i, uhh... want my two hours back..."
>for several minutes i stood anxiously awaiting a response
>the veiled figures were motionless until finally one rose to my direction, gently lifting one hand
>before i could even react, i was thrust backward at a velocity far greater than any humanity has yet achieved
>the world whizzed past me as if all matter had been turned to fluid
>i could feel my body impact something as i suddenly awoke in bed
>reaching for my phone, i check the time
>August 6, 2017, 3:00 AM
>they sent me two months back in time instead of two hours

>>87411721
Authentic/10

>>87410114

Memes seriously aside everyone should experience the adventurous feeling of driving shoeless.

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>buy discounted movie ticket online on trivago
>get to theater, whole room is packed can't find my seat
>ask usher for help
>he looks at my ticket and tells me to follow him
>follow him out of the theater and he leads me into bathroom
>"seat 4T, sir"
>opens 4th stall door and tells me to take a seat
>thank him and give him a tip
>he closes the stall door and locks it from the outside
>stare at stall door for a while, my legs are starting to fall asleep
>i can hear the blind bathroom attendant clipping his nails
>try to politely ask him if i can be let out to get some popcorn
>he tells me to shut the fuck up and turns off the bathroom lights

>>87417498
I see that you are more intelligent than your average human.

>>87417525
>August 6, 20XX
FTFY

>>87409520
>Doesn't bring a pillow and blanket
Pleb

>>87411986

>he fell for the posted prices

You need to point your gun at them and say "No, the ticket and snacks are five dollars total", by law they have to comply.

>penis under 6" pay double

>>87417836
its against the law where I live

>>87417498
Stop making excuses for pure laziness.

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>>87409520

>>87411004
You can never see Lawrence of Arabia.

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>>87408949
>

>>87419142
I actually almost never see regular smiling Pepe anymore.

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>Clone myself to get around the no singles policy
>get to the theater
>they've installed new biometric scanners
>alarm goes off when clone and I go through, get taken to the Probing Room
>"Sir, is this your biological twin? We had a funny readout" the Robertron asks
>think quickly
>"I actually identify as dualkin, you cis scum! My tumblr will hear about this!"
>LGBTQZORPXJ protocol engages
>"we sincerely apologize on behalf of Kinoplex Inc. for your offense."
>"USE THE PLURAL FORM WHEN ADDRESSING ME, SHITLORD!"
>get two free tickets to Baby Driver
Good day

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>watching Dunkirk for the 4th time
>management trying out new disaster scenarios
>wanna capitalize on all the hurricane hype
>instead of designated shooters, water begins to flood down the aisles
>syncs up with the boat scene perfectly
>remembered to pay off the attendants, sat in first class
>detached seat cushion to use as a flotation device
>not on the emergency exit side
>don't have to help attendants with the assisted drowning of those in coach
>mfw peepee'd a little in the pool and no one is any the wiser.

>>87416140
50% off Blacked.com showings

>>87408949
>no falcon legs and crab chow

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>>87410114
>Socks are basically shoes

The ride never ends does it?

>>87410183
>>87416446
Use. A. Towel.

>>87409520
>memes aside
somehow I doubt your premise

>>87409520
>>87410114
Include me in the screencap!

>>87419239
Actually this >>87417375
is what a regular pepe looks like.

member when it was just called "sad frog" ?

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>>87410114

>>87419949
Remember when FBF was the only true frog friend to have?

>>87419949
I remember him as 'feels good man' frog more than sad frog.

>>87411281

>the bus

thank God I live in a civilized country

>>87420031
No that was definately just a variation on the main one. You most likely happened to saw the postive one more because you were a normie and were happy more often

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>>87420027
Still one of my favorite memes. It's funnier than anything we currently have.

>win millions at the local Kino Kasino
>have to give it all to the gatekeeper to escape the labyrinth of lost souls


Getting real tired of this.

>>87419949
Feels Good Man was the original Pepe, traced from the Boy's Club comic.

>>87420189
At least you got out. I left a date in there when the Kinotaur was charging at us, and tripped her on purpose so save myself.

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>Use handicap in the stall
>Taken into custody and tortured

>>87420208
Oh really I had no idea I gues im unironically BTFO.

Well the orignal pepe as he looks today (not the one from the comic) was the sad frog, no?

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>>87420324
Absolutely devilish.

>>87420326
>Use handicap in the stall

?

>>87414128

> the chad 'feet of strength'
- drives barefoot for pinpoint precision of accelerator
- AC actually works backwards - it sucks pheromones from his feet and pumps them out of the car to increase attraction of bystanders
- Welcomed warmly into cinema - feet are complemented for their aesthetic shape - with a complementary bucket of crabs legs.

> the virgin 'achilles heel'
- shoelaces tied in double knot. each knot is a different type "because if it undoes once, it will undo twice"
- toes permanently are purple looking due to poor circulation. they always feel cold. this actually increases your of premature death as it can have underlying causes, but you use cognitive dissonance to tell yourself it doesnt matter
- denied entry after having already paid as your shoes are too old looking

>>87420471
Actually the true Chad car would be foot powered, Flinstones style.

>>87410400
Where the fuck do you live?

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>>87420471

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>>87420863
Jesus fucking Christ

I just realized I drew him using a left foot on an accelerator

>>87420923
kek, that's exactly what Chad would do.

>>87420863

hahahaha thats perfect

>>87420923
- uses left foot on accelerator as his right leg is outside of driver's window

>>87420863
>feet of strength
Well done, and the stars are a nice touch

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>>87420972
Updated. Anybody want to try the virgin foot?

>>87420863
>>87420923

-has literally never seen a brake pedal in his life

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>>87416446

>>87420123
>definately
newfag he was feels good man way before the sad wave came

>>87421054
nice

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>>87411721
les pley powa angers

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>>87420471
>>87420863
>>87420575
>>87420923
>>87421054
>>87421240

relevant

>>87415001
underrated

>>87421187
feels good man bares resemblence to the one on the comic. The sad version come not too long after but that was the one that got popular on 4chan and that was the one that we knew as pepe up today, seperate from the look from the comic. So I guess its still debatable.

>>87421476
Stop pulling shit out of your ass, you're 100% wrong. There is no debate.

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>>87421424

>>87421525
No, I looked it up

where is your proof?

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>>87414826
1. Stay standing.
2. Run.
3. Not applicable.
4. Nothing.
5. Someone said something that made them joke, outside of the film.
6. So that occupants can use them.

>no "Middle Eastern"
>no "biracial/mixed"
p offended desu

>>87419986
absolutely underrated

>>87409520
it makes no sense to have a no shoes policy when people go in there and kick off their sandals anyway

>>87421554
>I looked up knowyourmeme
Holy shit you are a faggot. How stupid do you have to be to not realize a variation of the original wasn't first?

>>87421641
Right but the original still had traits from the gay ass comic version that no one even wants to associate with, faggot.

>>87410847
Italian here, are you memeing or are intermissions really not a thing in the US?

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>>87421742
>>87421641
faggots

>>87421742
>>87421962
What is your point here? There are many variations of pepe. Even the first feels bad man looked exactly the same but sad. You tried to say "you just remember the happy one more because you were happy" and now you're moving the goalposts to some point I don't even understand.

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>>87411372
>Go to africa and give all the little kids socks without shoes.

>>87417836
>driving shoeless

I used to do this for a few weeks but I noticed my shoes were smelling noticeably bad and looking it up found driving barefoot will stink your shoes up after enough times.

>>87421962
Whoever made that couldn't have predicted it would be the symbol for the new resurging Nazi movement in the US.

>>87422017
Are you blind? feels good/feels bad do not even look exactly the same at all. "eeriely similar" like a celeb lookalike, but thats it.

I was saying sad frog is the one anons on 4chan actually associated with and cared about not really that faggot from the comics

>>87421856
they arent and we dont smoke cigs on treadmills either giuseppe

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>Mom threw out of my entire collection of kinocards

>>87422145
But that's not true at all. Firstly, even in the image you posted, feels bad man is a direct copy of the comic in design. Second, Feels good man was in fact a meme here for a good while, and it even extended beyond pepe. Stupid newfag stop newing up the place already and speaking like you were here.

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>>87408949
>this thread is some next level kino

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>>87409520

>>87421856
Sono quello che ha scritto quella storia, e non sto per niente scherzando. L'intervallo c'e solo quando vai al opera o al teatro qui, MAI al cinema. Infatti ero li quella sera con un altro amico americano, e anche lui era rimasto male di brutto. Si sta seduti finche finisce il film cazzo. Non sono piu andato al cinema dopo quella esperienza propio per via degli intervalli

>>87422332
wtf speak american fag

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>>87409520

Can't these people be banned

What happens if your girlfriend breaks up with you at the kinoplex?

Do you both get sent to the mines?

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>the kinocartel tortute victims ruin your magician robe with blodd stains

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>>87410114

You're a spastic

>>87422245
I didnt post that image. feels bad man has resemblence to the comic character, but pepe and feels bad man was supposed to be its own thing. At least when I got here. But whatever, you can you have your frog meme. I never actually liked him that much anyway, I prefered feels guy. Go fuck yourself.

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>>87422414
>feels guy
Woah there, Jack.

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>Kino date with mom
>She helps make sure my peepee is extra clean for the inspection in the tub
>we pretend my peepee is a submarine periscope and a lock ness monster swimming through bubbles
>mommy giggles when she gives nessie peepee tickles and he sneezes
>she kisses nessie peepee on foreskin tip for being a good peepee

I'm a good boy :)

my local kinoplex charges 20 bucks a ticket and 10 bucks for a cube of popcorn, thoughts /tv/fags?

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>>87421962
*record scratch*

>>87422452
yeah I know his "le actual name" well guess what? The name is gay as fuck and I am not going to type that out.

>>87422414
dumb newfag poster

sad display all around, no points awarded

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My local cinema banned the communal showers and now everyone smells really bad in the theaters.

fuck

>>87422414
if this is bait, it's incredibly impressive

>>87422567
>>87422520
I've been here since 2010. I am still a newfag by the original criteria, but probably so are you. Tell me when you started.

>lifeguard whistles for adult viewing just before the previews start

>>87422626
2005

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>>87422554
fuck. the paper bags from the supermarket down the street taped to the windows hits way too close to home

>local theater is changing to one of those dine-in movie things
while the idea seems interesting I am not looking forward to waiters asking people for their orders throughout the movie

>>87422332
Well that was completely out of the blue for me.
I'd be more angry if I had to miss chunks of the movie if I really have to take a piss, but paese che vai ecc.

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>>87422626
>2010
>speaking about pepe's origins when he came after
why do people do this

>>87422679
I assume you are talking about the same kind of theatre we have here in my town, And if it is that's not really how it works. You order your food out in the lobby. Someone just comes and brings it to you. And if they are anything like in my city, the theatres are generally really nice. The only downside is they charge a bit more per ticket.

>>87422714
OK but to be fair that smiling pepe I mentioned in the original response was actually a variation on the sad frog version

>>87422626
I came here from hidden Slashdot troll sids. I've been b& by WT Snacks. This may be legend, but none of it is myth.

I reveal my power level this day to tell you that memery goes on within and without you, no man can control it. Don't even try.

>>87420326
This fucking image is making me laugh out loud in the train fuck you people are watching me now

In what cinematic universe are we living in, /tv/?

>>87422980
extinction events CU

>>87422980
the emoji movie EU

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>16 year old sister gets first job at local kinoplex
>I go to see the new showing of "Need for Sneed 2: Get Chucked"
>I think I'll run into sis at the ticket dome and get a cupple of giggles in
>imagine my surprise when she's doing my penis inspection
>She wants to crack wise but her boss is watching so she reluctantly gets on her knees and undoes my belt
>I'm having way too much fun and I chime in "Chop chop wagie! Previews start in 5 minutes!"
>She can't peel my foreskin back because her hands are covered in butter sauce so she's forced to poke her finger in to check for smegma
>"Better taste your finger to be sure, newbie!" Her boss says
>She rolls her eyes and samples my flavor, of course I'm clean
>I zip up and convince the boss to let me see the movie for free due to her poor performance
>I give her a wink "See ya at home, sis!"

Movie was a solid 4, though I didn't really get it

>>87423114
>Movie was a solid 4, though I didn't really get it

wtf? was there not a scene explainer on duty?

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>go watch kino at the cinema
>get past the penis inspection gate
>the only free seat is in the middle row
>a gaggle of cunnys is sitting behind it
>sit down
>they start giggling
What are they laughing at??

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>>87415001

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>stay for after credit scenes
>showers fill up with people who will just watch the after credit scene at home
>have to wait for slow ass people with kids to finish

I never learn

>>87409520
Requesting the americans frog

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>Large black woman is doing my penis inspection
>mfw she slashed my fucking frenulum with her long ass curved frito nails

I forgot my official cinema adhesive medical strips at home, so I ended up missing my movie...

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>>87408949
I love how Warwick Cinemas has become the go-to image for this meme.

The shittest cinema with the worst """Chinese food""" place nextdoor, accompanied by the excellent arcade populated by like 10 arcade games, 9 of which are budget-tier from 20 years ago.

>Not being a Carousel IMAX master race

>>87421306
Awww! So cuute! I wanna name them k?
Blue is Paypay, Yellow is PiePie, Red is Pepe, Pink is Pipi, and Black is Pawpaw
They are the Pepe Rangers! They fight for the good of all people who like internet memes, so please support them and draw art for me k?
I love this picture, my new favorite on this website!
Hehe YAY!

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>>87423619
yu r wair fren

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>>87423114

Shit meme

>>87424191
Sneed is just a general term for "Simpsons" now on /tv/. It's not really a meme anymore. It's just what The Simpsons are called now

>go to see a horror
>trying to enjoy it but the pussy slasher is gliding between the aisles like a fucking bat
>if anyone so much as gasps at a scary scene he slits their throat, doesn't even wait until a scream
>must be looking for a promotion or something
>half the theater dead by intermission
>the pussy slasher picks fucking me to wear the scare detector wrist thingy when I get back
>try arguing the whole if I don't scream out loud them I'm not really scared thing, he just calls me a fedora core
>decide to eat the rest of my spider leg bucket and leave
>lights go out and shutters come down, too late
>I'm stuck here with this fucking pulse detection whatever bullshit needle in my wrist
>pussy slasher is garroting screaming kids and gasping women left and right, blood arcing everywhere
>he gives me a patient grin every time, I give him the finger
>finally a dumb jump scare gives me a fright, I don't utter a thing but my wrist shit beeps
>pussy detector comes running over with his knife raised
>my bat swoops from the darkness and gets in his face, buying me precious seconds
>I was counting on being the cinema slasher today, draw kitchen knife from my trench coat
>begin duelling with the pussy slasher
>we get up in front of the screen
>only the most hardcore, unfrightenable men are still left alive
>they're all chads and start throwing their skelly milk cartons at us
>one gets pussy slasher in the dick, he's furious and I feel for him
>we have a wordless understanding, begin killing the chads together
>don't stop until every last one is drained dry
>take the opportunity to stab pussy slasher in the back
>he chokes into my ear, ‘you don't scare me’
>have been the new pussy slasher ever since

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>>87409520
i choose to believe this

>>87410522
the person is either MEMEing or super fat

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>>87422177
>buy premium kinodeck with at least 1 guaranteed rare card
>14 common cards 5 uncommon cards and 1 rare card
>rare card is fucking The big lebowski one of the most common rare cards
>meanwhile people on reddit have entire decks of legendary cards

Can we possibly gather enough money to make a real Kinoplex?

https://youtu.be/-6gon66jF8s

at my local theater if you dont hold your breath for the entire prefilm entertainment youre shot on site

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1. Remain seated
2. Running
3. Nothing
4. Sex from me
5. A funny text from one of their other friends
6. So that humans who identify as women can use them

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>>87424662
Is that real? What kind of endgame-civ dystopia are Americans living in?

Do you guys at least question the capitalistic rapecock that they shove down your throat after watching that?

>>87424305
lel

>>87421556
Feed your falcon m8 holy shit

>>87409520
>tfw local kinotorium has begun zip-tying people's shoes to their ankles so they won't come off

It's going too far

>>87424946
What are you talking about? The Regal Roller Coaster TM is my favorite part of the cinotechque experience.

>>87424946
>europoors so destitute that they dont have entertainment before their main entertainment

how can they ever recover?

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>>87424662
what the fuck

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>>87425360
>seeing images of soft drink, candy and phone service companies is considered entertainment in the states

>>87425435
What do they show in your theater, beheadings and female circumcision footage?

>>87422332
Do people really do this? They get so upset at what they read online so they just slam on the keyboard for like 3 minutes and just post? What the fuck?

>>87425465
Nothing really. It's just the crest of my city for a while and the screen is black before the previews for other upcoming films.

>>87425435
>simulated rollercoaster
>mouth-watering treats tickling your senses right before your eyes
>mediocre but reasonably-priced comm sponsors
>80's shred guitar

enjoy your roach-infested shantyplex

>>87425465
drug cartel gladiator fights

Sneed never wore shoes to the theater either, but Chuck the Cuck did.

>>87414826
6. Push out any inferior white seed husband or boyfriend may have left to ensure only black bull semen is filled into her birth canal during the breedreel.

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>Buy ticket to clown kino
>Mosey on down to the all you can eat buffet stadium
>Pick up a bucket
>Ready to load up on General Tsos Chicken
>Feral pack of manlets come up and cut me then take the whole tray and run back to the ball pit with it
>Robert tells me there won't be anymore
What the fuck am I supposed to do starve?

>>87409520
MADMAN ive walked in barefoot before

>not having thongies or "flip flops" for you poofseppos

>>87408949
tl;dr this thread, riot outside local kinographer consisting of all blacks, cops break it up, watch vacation remake w/ Jason sudoku, someone coughed, leave thearter half way through with need to pee as excuse, movie was bad anyways, go home masturbate to softcore Kelly bundy, I wish Christina applegate and Jennifer anniston had a lesbian scene in a vaction/we're the millers crossover/ prematurely cum, did not green text, pass out early and upset with leaky dick, feels bad man

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>>87409520

>>87425689
I like to think that they're a modicum of truth in every story, and I really hope I'm wrong in my assumption here of what is true... you didn't really pay money to see It did you? Nobody from /tv/ could be *that* retarded and careless with their money.. right?

>>87425465
Lol

>>87410114

How did you walk across hot pavement in socks

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>>87408949
>get to kinoplex late because the kineumatic tubes were clogged
>quickly pass through primary shower like it's Speed Shower Sunday, no need to worry about tokens as I have a Diamond Pass I won in the last midkino falconry exposition
>miss the preview previews and the sacrifical offering, but arrive just in time for the seizure test and penis inspection
>fast tracked for PI since the nurse rated me "suckable" off the bat, get to my seat before anyone else
>it's an R rated movie so they pass out the good alcohol for the prekino orgy
>sommelier is out of showerfruit wine and I have to stick with tub wine, no big deal at least it's not butter mead
>slip my breadslippers in the conveyor belt toaster oven and pick a partner to join me in my kinobed
>9/10, pretty hot, attached lobes, kneecaps are pretty ugly tho
>after a few hours of slimjobbing and outer womb stimulation, the orgy dies down and we get under the kinosheets, while the baliff whips the singles into the singles pit
>partner brought her own falcon, nicely preened, didn't have time to get mine out from the jungle portal but thankfully my rental is pre-preened
>mffw (my falcon's face when) some manlet tries to claw his way from the pit and he swoops down and tears his eye out
>tfw the referee noticed and I earned a butter voucher right there on the spot
>tfw I didn't even prepare for this and everything went butter than expected

>>87425850
how many sock layers an you wear before it's considered technically a shoe or is such a thing even quantifiable

>>87408949
Is this the grand cinemas warwick?

>>87425883
dont award this lightly 10/10 im ded

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>>87408949
>last guy out of the showers forgot to clean the poop scissors

>>87410201
I saved it to

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>>87409520 #
>>87410114 #

Now that the dust has settled, was anon trolling, or did he actually think it was ok to wear his filthy stockings into the theatre?

>break the chains on the poop scissors
>Giant turds destroy plumbing

my local cinemas all just halved their ticket prices permanently. it's fucking DOPE

>>87424255
Fuck off, kid.

>>87426356
>stockings

wew lad

>>87422310
it doesn't look like anything to me

>>87426385
I wouldn't see anything released in the last few years for free desu.

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>>87408949
>ice cream cone taped under seat is Birthday Cake flavored
>I never had a birthday and it just reminds me of the pain

>>87426551
>>I never had a birthday
Who let r9k special-ed students into the kinoplex?

>>87426389
Hey kiddo I'm sorry you're too young to remember the Sneeds before season 12

>>87426551
>>I never had a birthday
what

>>87426693
What? There are Jehova's Witnesses on this board too you know, faggot. Not just Protestants.

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>>87409520
damn oraganp

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>>87426356
Spent 4 hours next to a slob in cargo shorts and socks on a flight Sunday.

Anon is prob just a part of the selfish lazy Hoi Polloi.

Is it really to much to ask for people to invest in a decent theater cape?

Are we living in a civilized society?

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>it's NEET mixer night at my local kinoplex
>go through routine penis inspection and purchase a venti bucket of freshly picked popcorn from Robert for $89.99 (+tip)
>sit next to an anon who hatched a plan to reveal redditors on /tv/
>makes a post on his phone about being kicked out of AMC for not wearing shoes
>mom picks me up after the showing and shower
>see this thread on the catalog and find kinobro's post
>all those (You)s
>mfw it actually worked

>>87427087
In a just world anon would have been lashed with twizzlers.

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Guys I'm scared, I laughed in the theater without buying a laughing permit first and now I've been in holding for about 6 hours. Do they REALLY cut your penis head 20 times with a manilla folder, fill your foreskin with lemon juice, and close it tight with a knotted bread tie? Or was that just a rumor?

>>87410114
OUR GUY

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>>87409520
>>87410114
>what the fuck am i reading

>>87428456
There's literally nothing wrong with what you're reading. What seems to be the problem?

>>87427431

>having a foreskin

OY VEY YOU SHOULD HAVE LISTENED GOY

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>>87428623
i dunno man

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>>87409520
>>87409691

>>87408949
>go to see movie in america
>funny part of the movie happens
>americans begin shooting their guns into the ceiling while hooting and hollering
>get startled, so i quickly get up to leave
>knock over a womans crab legs
>she begins to yell and pursue me
>luckily im faster than her electric scooter
>think im free once i reach the bottom of the stairs
>make my way toward the exit
>worker opens door for me
>"no tip?" he asks as i walk past him
fuck i hate that place

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>it's singles day at the Kinodrome.
>finally
>didnt occur that all the singles buy their ticket online so they dont have to talk to the Bettie Page clones in the booths.
>only booth open has a defective Bettie, she smells like rotten milk, omnifluid leaking everywhere
>wanted to see Dunkirk but they only had two tickets for It, got seat φ-7
>the lowest tier in the hivescreen
>all the orphans in the middle row start pissing themselves every time the clown appears
>the sub seats start puking
>all the piss and puke leak trough the lower tiers and finally start driping at my level
>theres a qt goblin faced 6/10 next to me whit an umbrella, offers to share
>"IM HAVING A SHITTY DAY HAHA" I mumble trying to be funny, she just turns her head and continue to watch the movie in complete silence
>spend an hour triyng to say something funny about the movie but my mind is blank
>when the movie ends, the emergency system informs us that the elevator shaft got vandalized by "thugs" and we have to use the rope
>climb for half and hour behind the qt trying to not watch her ass
>"If your are tired I can help you" blurt just when the light appears and she gets out from the tube
>get out and see her talking to security, scurry to the motorboats because of the afternoon floods