ITT: /tv/ designs a movie theater one design decision at a time

Automated turrets that shoot anyone entering the theater.

>>87407505
toilets in the back row so you won't miss anything

Separate the popcorn mines and the suicide Centre as much as possible to avoid catastrophe

Seats come with built in microwaves to warm up your socks during the Winter months

Lighted paths so the designated mass shooter doesn't trip

Falcon rookery after the security checkpoint, instead of being through the gift shop.

monkey bars over the moat of sharks so the manlets can't reach

Personal blowjob assistants under every seat

Lookout towers on either side of the screen
Spotlights permanently shining on singles for the 5 minutes before they're escorted off the premises

Laptops built into the back of the seats so I can post on my favorite sub-reddit while I watch a kino

every seat has a black dildo

>>87407999
The emergency exits should be wired to gunshot detectors and only open after the shooter's fired at least 10 bullets

>>87407505
Neccessary kino passes to enter which involes you either attending film school or denouncing love for marvel

>>87408350
this haha i love reddit

>>87407505
Spiked ceiling above the seats that drops to the ground, killing the viewers, before the movie.

there should be tiles that are a notch different shaded than the rest that explodes when stepped on to punish those that aren't paying attention

>>87408472
>attending film school
get the flying fuck out of my kinodrome

>>87408610
this
can't stand people already seated before the movie starts. they're always huffing and annoyed when they have to stand up to let me come through

A man with cerebral palsy in a Clifford the big red dog costume must stand out front and greet everyone with his red painted penis

Bathroom toilets rigged to explode if you weigh double digits.

nacho cheese dispenser built into the armrests

poop scissors attached to unbreakable chains in the stalls

>>87408758
BINGO

guillotine in the lobby and daily executions to discourage lawbreakings

Crab legs and dog chow bar.

long sticks available from every seat used to poke those that aren't quiet

>>87408712
*triple digits

>>87407505

best seats are only for white people

Black section has no chairs so they have to stand

>>87408994
>best seats

you mean all seats?

Milk dispensers by the popcorn mines is just a team of bimbos who let you suck on their breasts.

>>87407505
No black people Indians or food allowed.

Falcon feed dispensary. I'm tired of him eating scraps from the floor. The lickers from level 2 don't like that.

heat resistant clothing disposable for those operating the furnaces

Falcon preening salon

Fist Wily Wonka's ass to grab your ticket.

A Stacy Punishment gallery where you can observe Stacies being punished for tormenting betas by having their beauty taken from them with disfigurement and breast reductions taking place live

we need a solution for the children, I say we chain them to a big wheel to push in a circle outside

a small stream running through the viewing room so you can wash your clothes without missing out

>>87407888
Do the turrets enable after the movie starts, or are they always on?

Air horns replace the movie soundtrack.

a jump back 30 seconds available from every seat

>>87409404
Just throw them in the pit with the spiders and snakes.

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running twitch commentary screen next to movie screen

>>87409404
I say we slay them in front of their guardians

A stand up Comedy stage so you can get live entertainment with your movie

>>87409649
>not having them powering the projector by pedaling the bicycles

>>87407979
hello james

Replace one of the prop guns used to act out the action scenes in the aisles with a real one every once in a while. It'll add tension and I paid for the helmet and bullet proof vest rental anyway.

Retsupurae commentary plays over the movie.

>>87409716
Where do you think the bicycles are situated?

All previews before movie with show BLACKED video but still normal preview audio.

>>87409814
oh, right.

Shooting gallery needs Jewish targets.