Cinema

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Cinema 2017-09-02 10:59:42 Post No. 87227468
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Cinema Anonymous 2017-09-02 10:59:42 Post No. 87227468 [Report]

ITT: cinema stories

>heading into glynn's cinema, rodge running a little late
>"oh alright glynn just a pack of the maltesers and any of the scrumpy going"
>"twenty five pounds"
>glynn's got a taste for cash in hand
>"come on glynn, i thought i was talking to the organ grinder and not the monkey"
>"i am charging a bit dear"
>settle for fifteen and head in
>texting llanarth rodge's new number to tell him i've got scrumpy and we're ready to roll, aisle five ("five and alive")
>text back "you've got the wrong number"
>shaking my head because rodge is up to doings
>film starts
>films ends
>no rodge
>walk out
>rodge haggling with glynn over the price of scrumpy
>rodge: "i don't remember you giving half a mind to prices when you were the quad-bike bandit taking duck eggs from betridge's farm"
>glynn: "we've been on the back-and-forth here for the best part of an hour and a half now"
>rodge: "well if you're going to be a tight cunt it only takes you five seconds to show me the door"

Anonymous 2017-09-02 11:02:24 Post No.87227569
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Anonymous 2017-09-02 11:02:24 Post No.87227569 [Report]

>sit down, get comfy
>farmer sitting in front of us turns round, doffs flat-cap, recognises me
>'nice to see ya courting'
>'aye'
>'not courting heavy tho are ya'
>'how do you work that out then'
>'no maltesers is it'
>shakes his maltesers at us
>'textbook scram a pack of maltesers mind you'
>film starts
>whispering behind me
>'new blacksmith down cords lane looking for apprentices mind'
>'watch he don't end up with jokers like these two'
>'aye.'
>long pause
>'tough old trade as it is'

Anonymous 2017-09-02 11:05:00 Post No.87227655
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Anonymous 2017-09-02 11:05:00 Post No.87227655 [Report]

>walk into cinema, alone
>settle in
>voice booming from the back "oi no sweaty bettys in here mate"
>turn round its llanarth rodge with a few tins of scrimpy
>"oh alright rodge"
>"cider glider with me?"
>accept his invitation, go sit next to him
>"you been rolling round in the hay with some pooftas have you"
>"nah just bailing"
>rodge finishes his scrimpy, throws it down on the floor with some contempt
>"nothing like bailing mind you. hang on, its fucking christian bale in this! christian hay-baler. fuckin hel imagine that, not batman but the Bale Man!"
>"do well round here"
>"big time. big box office takings i reckon...glynn [owner] wouldnt have to take that remortgage"

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I'm aware that Imgur.com will stop allowing adult images since 15th of May. I'm taking actions to backup as much data as possible.
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