>at cinema watching Annabelle: Creation >not many people

>>87159909
It's not and you're a fucking liar. Kill yourself no friend faggot

Nothing ever didn't happen as much as this.

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>go to cinema
>have to take my mom because of their no singles policy
>she doesn't realize my motives and thinks I'm just being nice and watching a movie with her casually
>she says something and to keep the facade up I say "thanks [moms name]"
>she gives me a weird look and tells me to just call her mom like I always do
>everyone around us stares
>twenty minutes into the movie someone leaves and comes back and then an usher comes in with a handgun unholstered and asks us to leave
>on our way out a falcon escapes from the aviary and shits on my jacket

>>87160011
>>87159977
It happened...

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>>87160082

>>87160103
Maybe they thought people who would pay to watch a movie that bad wouldn't notice?

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>>87160082
>on our way out a falcon escapes from the aviary and shits on my jacket
>>>/an/

>>87160082
it just gets deeper and deeper

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>>87160082
Sweet, I never get to post this anymore.

>>87159909
You deserve everything you get for paying to go see that hard propaganda

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>>87159909
>go to see lastest kino
>pay coyote standard fee of gold press latinum plus tip to smuggle me in through the popcorn mines
>party get ambushed by mega crabs
>fall into butter rapids get swept down stream
>survive unspeakable horror for 4 months
> finally reach the kinoplex though the shower drains
>kino is no longer playing in theaters
>get fined for loosing my anvil

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>>87159909
>topping off popcorn at butter stall
>they're all out of organic coconut & hemp non-gmo oil
>have to use regular hydrogenated canola butter instead
>it tastes better than the coconut & hemp, which makes me nervous because it's probably unhealthy and ruins the movie for me

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happened last week
>friday night and can't post on 4chan because still banned for cunnyposting
>decide to head out to the kinoplex
>wait by the entrance and sneak past the usher when he stoops down to put new batteries in his NVG
>blend into the crowd and try to work my way to a theater room, I don't care which I just want to watch something
>look around and realize nobody in the crowd is female and it's all beta virgins that got outed by mandatory penis inspection
>turns out the crowd was being escorted by armed guards into holding cells
>try to get away but one of the guards hits me in the back of the head with his rifle butt and I black out
>wake up with a burning hot scar on my temple that says KP (Kinoplex Property) and I'm wearing nothing but a loose sackcloth
>I'm in the popcorn mines and ghoulish pale figures are around me are slaving away and chipping popcorn off the cave walls
>some of them sneak a bite of smuggled crab legs from the hatchery whenever the guard isn't looking
>at the end of a tunnel the guard has a falcon swoop around making sure everyone is working
>when it sees me still on the ground it shrills out a loud bird call and the guard frantically scans the tunnel to see the perpetrator
>sprint past him through the mines as I can hear shouting and rapid footsteps behind me
>hear metal clanging above and figure that I'm close to the cinema forges (and of course therefore the lobby)
>as I near the exit I see a burly blacksmith with scarred arms step in front of me
>he gives me a knowing nod and steps aside and I realize he's got a faded brand scar on his temple as well
>the guards catch up and start aiming their guns and screaming for me to stop
>dive through the glass door and land on the sidewalk outside as I'm cut all over
>I'm out of sovereign Kinoplex jurisdiction so they can't do anything and glare angrily at me as I stumble down the road bleeding
>get home and immediately check my computer
>see I'm now unbanned and can cunnypost again
>mfw

>>87160082
at least your mom doesm't hate you

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>>87161046
>eating the GMO butter
lol enjoy your cancer

>>87161128
>non-oxidized vs oxidized

>>87161128
Soft-boiled vs. Hard boiled actually

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>at cinema to see Annabelle vs Predator: Requiem
>it is Single Saturday so I am allowed to pass through alone to the main hall
>as punishment for my privilege they hit me in the shins with a hammer
>since it hurts to walk I have to hobble around on my knees
>employees spot me hobbling away and immediately send me to the Manlet Pit
>pit is filled with dead manlets so I quickly fashion a rudimentary staircase and climb out
>finally make it to theater in time for Annabelle: Age of Extinction
>theater goes dark, movie begins
>suddenly employee shines a light in my face
>"it's time for the inspection sir"
> sits in my lap for at least 45 minutes
I hate the cinema

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>>87161091

>>87161128
nice egg

>>87159909
>going to cinema
there's your first mistake
also you're full of shit
>go watch captain phillips
>im the only one in it
>watch whole movie
>not ads during
kys

>>87160422
>no soundcloud link
it's like you're not even trying

I watched The Witch alone in theaters and it may be the best cinema experience I've ever had. Plus I went on half price tuesday.

>>87161091
I fucking hate this place

>>87161415
My sides are past Jupiter.

>>87163300
Feel free to go back to readit any time pal.

>>87159909
God, I can actually see interludes coming back so the can show ads in the middle of a movie.

>>87161091
kino post

>>87160799
These memes are getting more and more elaborate.

tfw no crab legs

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>>87161091
>banned for cunnyposting
nice try anon

>>87163606
based

>>87161091
ebin