If you were an alien invader, how would you attack earth?

>>87131008
Neophyte Hybrid (Trump) to act as a puppet until the hive fleets come for the kill.

>>87131008
Threshold had the best idea, mutate humans physically and mentally via alien signal to prep for invasion.

i would infiltrate the population and place my people at key positions (bank, politics, medias, cinema, porn, etc).

Then I would brainwash the people to racemix with inferior people in order to create a new race of humans I could control easily.

>>87131229
What would you do if a wise leader who loves his people discovers your plan and sends your secret agents into death chambes?

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Destroy infrastructure with stealth agents, watch the humans turn on each other, offer law, order and supplies to those who surrender.

>>87131008
Cause mass murder and pin it on the blacks fueling a race war which the blacks would win, but because of their inferiority they would fall to me to rule them

>>87131008
Orbital bombardment. I mean I am a spacefaring civilisation. What stops me from dropping a very high mass on the planet?

>>87131307
I would come back stronger a few years later, and use the death of my people to achieve my plan even quicker

i wouldnt because there is literally nothing of value on earth

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>>87131476

>>87131476

Yeah I cant imagine what an advanced alien species would need from us.

Maybe water and resources, but if they're advanced enough to traverse the galaxy I'm sure they'll find shit that isn't contaminated by nuclear waste.

>>87131453
What a devious plan. We are lucky that this is not happening in reality

Its fair to assume that if you're capable of waging interplanetary warfare, you're capable of some making some fucking super virus. I'm sure even today we could genetically engineer the bubonic plague to be catastrophic and unstoppable

Just lean back and relax while humanity kills itself.

Drop a fuel tank on collision course when decelerating into the solar system.

Legalize child porn

>>87131229
>>87131307
>>87131453
Hmm.
Feels like I've seen that somewhere but I'm not sure where.No time to think though the black bull that will impregnate my wife just arrived. I can't wait!

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>>87131624
Besides a good planet to live on, full of new lifeforms to study and a 7 billion strong species that could become an indentured workforce

>>87131433
invaders would want to capture the planet for themselves, not utterly destroy it and leave it a lifeless rock. Successful invasions always end in occupation / assimilation

>>87131008
Since I traveled to earth I'm assuming I don't need humans because I have the technology to employ some replicator type shit to perform whatever labor is required. So probably deploy some sort of self replicating microscopic biological weapon from space that annihilates all life on earth. Then do whatever I came to Earth to do.

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>show up in my fancy triangle crafts and beam bipedal biological drones into oval office
>tell the president and his staff that we run the show now
>do the same in russia at the same time
>tell US they need to nuke russia
>tell russia they need to nuke US
>zip off into space
>watch the retards blowing each other up
>if they don't we hijack their primitive nuclear weapons and do it for them

>>87132047
Too much movies. Dinokiller tier impact should suffice to prepare the planet for future colonization without resistance from sentient species. And that's easy since they'll be coming in really fast, some turds dropped at 1/10th the speed of light before stopping in orbit should suffice and will be well nigh undetectable until the mass extinction event.

>>87131008
poison them with estrogen until they are too docile to fight back, then capture them and sell them as alien pets.

Odyssey 5 style.

>>87131229
The fact that this might have a higher than 10% chance of happening right now is very worrying.

There are so many barren planets already
Finding one of the few rare ones that have intelligent life only to obliterate all the life seems stupid

>>87131986

You're an idiot

>>87132668
You're an even bigger idiot.

>>87131229
This could be a good movie

Thank goodness there is an army of brave internet warriors to defeat their vile schemes! Most thought they were just sub-average IQ basement dwellers, blaming society for their own failings, however in Earth's hour of need, they defeated the alien menace with badly cited statistics and Frog Memes

>>87131008

Scrub it clean with nanites like that bad Keannu movie.

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>>87131008
By focusing on military hardware and disrupting communications. Kind of like the Enchantress was doing in Suicide Squad.

I'd wait until we destroy(or at least weaken) ourselves, then take what's left.

>>87131008
I've just travelled to Earth from a planet light-years away. Whatever weapons technology I have, its nothing compared to my engine technology

Turn my ship around, flick the afterburner on, wait for the fires to die down, PROFIT!

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>Be a member of a species whose numbers in our local galactic cluster alone would take the average quantum computer centuries to even formulate the ability to comprehend into an actual reasonable number
>Your civilisation is so old that your planet was among the first cooled after the big bang, with your species being the first to crawl out of the ooze... Several big bangs ago
>You are the lowest of the low in your society, being a dumb mong-tier of intellect at only 10,000 IQ
>One day your equally dumb-fuck 4 hour old child tells you he has finally been selected at school to "craft a world" for the species, a task most children are given moments after birth, but your child took this long to even comprehend the mathematics behind the solution. Shameful.
>As you space-drive him to space-school to fulfil this most mundane assignment, he informs you that within the 3 second trip there he has create a solution that won't require the Earth to be wiped, with full thesis and backing of...
>Too late, at school
>Your kid presses the button and a single nanite created billions of years ago appears instantly from subspace, instantly turning the entirety of all life down to microbial levels on Earth into grey goo
>The nanites then instantly disappear back into subspace
>You know you will feel this shame for the rest of your immortal life as this is the longest world crafting exercise in the last 10 million years

>Moments earlier on Earth
>The most secret weapons developer just unveiled the ability to shoot down meteors no bigger than a car
>"Truly, the human race is now invincible"

>>87132770
It all comes down to whether the said nerds were controlled opposition. In that scenario, even winning a few additional years of freedom is a victory, petty as it is.

>>87131229
(((they))) already did that

if i had the tech to even think about invading another planet I could do it however the fuck I wanted without anyone being able to stop me

>>87131008
Destroy all major cities and if my tech permits it, locate major military bases and destroy those as well, all through orbital bombardment of course, this would wreck all infrastructure, leave the world without leadership and easy for hostile takeover.

Space AIDS

Spend several decades abducting and anally probing rednecks and leaving crop circles.

with my Eggs

>>87135998
lol

>>87131008
Make a machine that increases the temperature of the Earth 1 degree every year. Like frogs boiling in water ahahah

>>87131008
I would send massive amounts of food aid to Afrika on regular basis, waited fifty years and then landed on lifeless planet to take it over.

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I kinda go through this scenario in the game Stellaris

>my race is super powerful and the major player in the galaxy
>have the biggest fleets
>no empire comes even close to me or my tech
>just invade and blow up all their planets, then teraform the nuke wastelands into my prefered biome and expand
>when I see primitive lifeforms that are not advanced as I am I watch them from afar
>when the time comes I invade their shitty planet with my killer robots and enslave them
>genocide them slowly or let them work in the mines

>>87136139
>2499
why

>>87131942
This is what channers in basement actually believe

>>87131008
Just nuke from orbit, too easy

>>87136139
>always kept eyeing Stellaris as something that might be good
>friend goes ahead and buys it for me
>have literally no idea what I'm doing in this game
Any tips?

>>87136941
build naked corvettes, ignore military tech, zergrush your enemy

Convince them to elect drumpf and clock off early as my job is already done.

>>87136941
Never engage in diplomacy beyond non-aggression packs, AI is retarded and will fuck you over.

Just engineer a bunch of viruses to kill humans, quick clean and easy

Impregnate all earth women to breed hybrid soldiers to take over the planet

>>87131008
Drop a few well placed meteors in the oceans large enough to create tsunamis capable of cleaning off the shores of every continent and creating enough dust in the atmosphere to block the sun long enough to starve most everything else.

Fuck Earth.

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>>87131008
Through shadowy subversive treachery derived from superior alien politic and intellect. Why destroy potential resources when I can bend a planet to my alien will via benign tyranny and simply watch as the natives kill each other?

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>>87131008
RKV launched from Alpha Proxima.

Well from Making History I know you neutralize america by knocking out the north east. Take DC NYC Boston and Philidelphia in the first two weeks

Stage 2 you expand to Detroit chicago and North Carolina

When invading europe you take Netherlands/Belgium and Scheswich-Holstien in stage 1

Stage 2 you expand to Berlin Paris and Bavaria

Asia all you gotta do is take Sigapore Hong Kong Beijing and Tokyo all in stage 1

Third world a shit need not consider

>>87137649

UK is still in the fight

>>87136855
>>>/reddit/

>>87131008
The cleanest way is to influence elections and appoint left wing governments everywhere, except for Germany of course since there's Merkel.
Then I will pretend that my invading army is refugees.

>>87131008
Kill all white people and then replace the populations with dumb and easily controlled niggers.

>>87131008
I'd fling asteroids at the planet, it would cause a mass extinction.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GImJdrCSOFA

Mine mercury to build thin ring around the sun. Use energy acquired to do useful stuff like sending or receiving ships (boost/stop with lasors sorta like super solar sail). Then get beaten by some qt japanese chick that likes to watch the stars but not before we get to consume her american bf she never even got to lose her virginity to.

>>87131008
>attack
Do you attack deers in forest before tree cutting?
Land, build base, farm. People kill each other eventualy.

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>>87131229
just think if this shit was real

>>87131008
Bomb the most advance cities then unleash my armada on the remaining settlements cutting off humans from eachother. Dope the humans with chemicals so they can slowly convince other humans to obey me.

I would steal all their plutonium and just leave them to their own demise.

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>>87131229
Funny joke, but that's NEVER gonna happen lol

>>87137358
It's not that bad, although all the races behave like jews and try to take my tech and open borders

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>>87131229
As if a plan like that could actually work.

>>87136400
we're far in the future bro

>>87140806
I mean, the game is usually decided by 2350, why keep playing when you're unbeatable.
>>87140611
*proposes a defensive pact*
*settles near a FE*
*gets you assraped*
*repeats it every few years*
Nothing personnel, kid

>>87137358
>>87140611
So pretty much like Civ?

>>87137143
Naked corvettes? Alright, I'll look into that. I haven't actually tried the game seriously at this point. Barely got an hour in it.

>>87131008
with shitty brainnumbing tv writing

>>87136941
Play with tips retard lmao

If you think playing Stellaris is difficult try playing Crusader Kings 2

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>>87140969
>mfw accidently touch a holy land

Launch a fucking 1000 tonne tungsten rod at about 1/4 light speed, destroying the entire thing.

Fuck humans.

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>>87141657
>insult

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>>87140969
>why keep playing when you're unbeatable.
I have't beaten all aliens yet.

>>87132047
if invaders want the planet it's for the metals and ore which orbital bombardment wouldn't affect

If you wanted to cripple the planet all aliens would have to do is detonate a massive, dense object in high orbit so it creates a swath of high velocity debris that would destroy all satellites. Humanity would probably end up culling a large portion of itself before they got there shit together and managed to adapt to a pre-satellite technology

I wouldn't, as simple as that. I dont see how being earth would be a valuable target for any higher order alien species.

Only way you'd want to invade it is if you want its resources, but earth's resources is depleting at a high rate. the amount of shit you'd use to get to here and kill everyone would be more than what you'd get.

Since taking resources is out the equation, another reason would be using human capital at your disposal, but that shit is pointless. Humans are weak as shit, have inferior intelligence, and if you already have the capability to travel near light speed just to conquer a measly leeching species I'm sure you also enough capital to sustain your civilization.

At best you'll only conquer earth more as a prime expansion location for your citizens to settle in, or a galactic trading post

>>87144102
except the resources aliens would want would probably be metals which aren't really destroyed just being used by us so the available surplus for us is depleting. Aliens probably would have much better recycling tech and could just destroy all the crap we've used metals for and recycle it for themselves

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>>87131008
With my heart-stopping looks, of course.