ITT

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>>87100386
doctor muthafuckin wack ass cracka, i'm that nigga CIA u feel me

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>tfw no cia gf

>The Dark Knight Rises, directed by Quentin Tarantino

>CIA and Smee stand outside a plane, waiting

>CIA: "You ever wonder why a foot fetish isn't socially acceptable?"

>Smee: "What?"

>CIA: "Foot fetishes. Why aren't they acceptable? People talk about wanting to fuck tits, asses, pussies, but the second you mention you want to nut on a girl's toes, people look like you just raped a fucking dog."

>Smee: "What are you talking about man?"

>CIA: "You never put any thought into this?"

>Smee: "I'm just here to do a job man"

>CIA: "Never be that guy. Never just show up to do a job. That's fucking lazy. It's fucking intellectually dishonest. Put some thought into this shit"

>Smee: "Money is money, I don't think about it"

>CIA: "So I tell you to bend over and let Maimen fuck your ass for some money, you don't think about it?"

>Smee: "Man, what? Fuck off"

>CIA: "Oh, finally, here comes that fucker Pavel. Late as usual"

>>87100574
8/10

>>87100574

pretty good desu

>>87100574
pls more, I implore you

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>>87100386
>Hey Dr. P, I'm CIA
>Woah you don't get to bring your bros

>*cut of a chick wearing tank top washing down the plane*

>They worked for the maskette man
>Bane???

>*explosion*

>>87100574
perfectly captured the tarantino cliche of one character being the outspoken guy who has a strong opinion and the other person being the straight man who just kinda reacts

goddamn he does that a lot

>>87100386
>over-the-shoulder behind shot of CIA watching the approaching jeep
>voice over: "Being in the central intelligence agency wasn't just a career for me, it was a way of life"
>montage of CIA rising through the ranks, and then montage of normal office workers looking bored
>vo: "where other schmucks would toil fruitlessly in their fucking waste of space desk jobs, closing the big account whatever the fuck that means, I was making a difference. I was putting my name on the map"
>cut back to jeep arriving, still from CIA's view, as Masketta comes out with three goons under hoods and Dr Pavel
>CIA: "Dr Pavel? Call me CIA"
>Dr Pavel [to Masketta man]: "who the fuck is this joker?"
>Goon 2 underneath gag: "He just told you dumbass, he's fucking CIA"
>Goon 1: "woah, check out this smartass. With the government's cock that far down his throat, I can only guess what will happen when they start actually applying pressure"
>CIA: "ahem" [clears his throat]
>Goon 1: "You got a problem? Can't you see we're having a conversation over here? I mean we can't see because you put a fucking gag over us, but still"
>CIA looks at one of his guards and raises an eyebrow
>the guard comes forward and rifle-butts Goon 1
>Guard: "shut the fuck up"
>CIA sighs
>CIA: "alright, everyone get on the motherfucking aircraft. I only wanted Dr Pavel but what's a party without friends right?

>>87101051
scorcese?

>>87101051
>everyone on board the plane which has taken flight
>the three goons are all sitting tied to their chairs, still hooded
>CIA: "alright, I'm gonna make it real simple. The can't be assed to feed all your sorry asses. So only one of you gets a premium room courtesy of the president. The other two of you will be writing your great aunt Sally from Guantanimo telling her all about your new buddy Tyrone and his best friend Mohammad and how the three of you stay up all night telling each other secrets. Don't want that to be you? Then tell me about this cocksucker Bane"
>Goon 2: "Fuck you"
>Gonn 1: "What that guy said"
>CIA: "Jesus christ"
>CIA sighs as he gestures to his guards who taze Goon 1 and Goon 2, both of whom yell out in pain
>he turns to Goon 3
>CIA: "and what about you? you've been awfully fucking quiet, you gonna say anything?"
>doesn't say anything
>CIA smiles out of awkwardness
>CIA:"umm hello? earth to hooded goon, you gonna talk or you wanna get tazered too? we can make that happen?"
>Goon 3: "say. that. to. my. face. you. faggot"
>CIA blinks
>CIA: "what did you say?"
>Goon 3: "Did that sound like moonspeak to you? I said say that to my fucking face you fucking faggot"
>CIA laughs and looks at his guards nervously
>he slowly takes the hood of Goon 3 revealing him to be Bane
>CIA:"Bane?"
>Bane: "No, I'm father fucking Christmas"
>CIA: "Wait... if you're here, why am I tazering your idiot Goons over there?"
>Bane: "Good fucking question"
>CIA: "Alright, if you're so smart, why do you wear a prolapsed anus mask on your face? What would happen if we knicked it?" [starts laughing with his guards]
>Bane: "It'd hurt. A lot"
>CIA: "I dunno, you look pretty big"
>je ne regrette rien starts playing quietly
>Bane: "For you you dumb cocksucker"
>CIA raises his eyebrow again
>suddenly Bane headbutts him
>the plane windows burst open
>everything goes into slow-motion
>The chorus hits as Bane's men slaughter everyone
>>87101213
bingo

> (accompanied by violin pizzicato)
> CIA from the back, perfectly symmetrical against sunset-lit horizon
> ripples on the grass
> aerial shot of car approaching through the field
> car stops
> camera pans down the car, slowly zooming under the vehicle
> we see legs of people and muffled dialogue
> close up of pondering CIA
> "Bane?"
> aerial shot, muffled dialogue
> symmetrical close up of plane turbine starting
> closing door of the plane
> ripples on the grass

>Flat shot of jeep rolling up to plane
>Guys jump out of jeep, one of them trips a little
>CIA looks around "So.. you're the guys?"
>Masketta man says "Yeah well, we're the only ones here." He then points to the plane. "Dang, that's an old plane."
>Different wide angle shot of plane, few moments of silence
>CIA says "Hmm, yeah. Anyway I can't take your friends."
>Masketta man says "Oh, they aren't really my friends, but they DO work for the masked man."
>Slow zoom into CIA's face, slightly wincing and smiling
>Next shot is the plane in the air as soft guitar music plays

>>87100386

i dare somebody to do the Wes Anderson version of this

>>87100951
this lmao, only just realised it as well

>>87101595
>>87101613
who desu

>>87101595
>>87101613

Wes Anderson
>>87101373
Mann?

> "Dr. Pavel, I'm CIA"
> Pavel stares at CIA creepingly for a few seconds, the camera slowly zooms towards a closeup to his face
> he opens his mouth a little, still doesn't say a word
> cut to CIA who has a baffled, concerned look on his face
> with CIA's face still in shot, Dr. Pavel says "I know. You have been CIA all along." while CIA's reaction is shown from a slightly upwards angle
> Mosquito Man gleefully jumps in front of CIA, grabs his shoulder firmly with his back arched a bit
> he talks quickly, childishly, making every sentence sound like a question "don't worry, Mister CIA. No charge for these volks. You should know who they work for! They work for the mercenary, you know the masked man. You know the masked man, right?"
> CIA, with a look of shock, confusion and fear whispers "... bane?"
> Mosquite, still grabbing him by his arm, slowly raises his eyebrows as his smile brightens too, he doesn't say anything though
> cut to a silent, b/w scene of Bane as a kid dragging a stunt kite through a plane field
> slowly, the sound of wind starts to get noticable, it gets louder and louder and transitions into the roaring engines of the plane taking off
> shot of Bane running through the field, the camera on the ground in front of him, looking up in a sharp angle
> the shot is getting shakier by the second, as the frame slowly zooms to the rising kite, with the engine noises reaching deafening levels of volume
> the sound starts to crack, scattered, shrill violin sounds are heard every now and then as we see hairy, bug-like legs reaching out from underneath the kite, flailing through the air
> jump to completely silent shot of CIA sitting on the cot of a prison cell with a blank stare into the nothingness of the brick wall on in front of him

Guy Ritchie
>cia and his men all stand around a table in a room
>cia:"okay, here's the plan"
>sequence plays out as cia describes it
>cia:"masketta will arrive with dr pavel at 2pm, we'll exchange pleasantries and laugh about our wives. Meanwhile, Smee you'll have already filed the flight plan so we can take off immediately..."
>Maimen:"wait, why a plane? why not a train or a jeep?"
>cia facepalms
>cia:"because, for the fiftieth time, you can't hijack a plane. A train? any idiot can hijack a train, they've been doing it since the old west. but a plane? not happening"
>maimen looks dumbstruck
>cia:"anyone, once we're on board the plane, we toast to victory and pat ourselves on the back"
>smee:"but what if Dr Pavel brings friends?"
>cia:"he won't bring friends"
>smee:"but what if he does?"
>cia:"then he's an idiot"
>maimen chuckles
>smee: "maybe so, but he can't be that clever if we've managed to find him like this, do we have a backup?"
>cia:"if he brings friends, we shoot them. that good enough?"
>smee:"well sure... except he wouldn't bring friends for no reason"
>cia: "what?"
>maimen:"he said dr pavel wouldn't bring friends for-"
>cia:"i heard him the first time. what possible reason would he have other than having one too many chromosomes?"
>smee:"well maybe he knows someone connected to this Bane fella who wants to talk to us"
>cia glares
>smee:"well in that situation we don't want to kill them"
>cia:"fine, we bring them on the plane with us, happy?"
>smee:"well i would, except you told me to file the flight plan. what do I write on the form? there may or may not be additional goons as well?"
>cia:"is that really important at this particular junction in time?"
>smee:"well maybe not for you, but I'm the one who's gonna have his name on this official document"
>cia facepalms again
>cia:"okay, I'll file the flightplan as well"
>smee:"then what do you want me to do?"
>cia:"just stand by my side and pretend not be a pain in my ass"
>maimen:"that's what she said"

> CIA runs into frame with soldiers
> close up of him looking nervous right and left
> car stops
> CIA runs closer to the camera
> caption: "Keine freunde!"
> Masketta raises hand
> caption: "Das mann mit dem mask"
> CIA is staggered, tries to cover his forehead with his hand
> very big caption in zig-zag letters: "BANE?"

>>87101981
Lynch

>>87100574
PRETTY CLOSE TO WHAT HE WOULD WRITE, I THINK

>>87102057
>>87101983
>>87101981
>>87101613
>>87101595
>>87101373
>>87101051
>>87100574
great thread, another proof of infinite depth of baneposting

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>>87100574
based Smee

>>87102059
yep
easy I guess but thanks for acknoledging it

>Write something
>In the style of a director.
You're a fucking idiot.

>CIA slowly removes the hood covering Bane's head
>long symmetrical shot zooming in on Bane's face, his eyes staring hard at the camera, with a piercing slightly insane look
>CIA: "if i pull that off will you die?"
>Bane: "it would bring great pain"
>CIA: "youre a corpulent man"
>Bane: "For you"
>CIA: "was getting caught part of your plan?"
>Bane: "of course! dr. pavel was trying to bring an outside party into the situation, did you know that?
>CIA: "who?"
>Bane: "A nigger"
>CIA: "A nigger?"
>Bane: "A nigger cook."
>rest is just helicopter shots over ominous music

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"A'right, so there was this truck"

"A Truck?"

"Yeah, in the desert, someone in it with a bag o'er their head, couple of other guys in there. Not me this time."

"WHICH desert."

"It might not've been a desert, there were mountains and grass not long after."

"What?"

"Look, they bring him out of the truck over to the plane, and there's this fella standing there right, like he's not got a belt on...but he has got a belt on."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN!!!"

"Just listen! ‘E says, ‘e says ‘I’m CIA’."

"You mean he was with the CIA."

"No, no, he just says CIA."

"He’s the entire CIA?"

"No he…, look they say…uhh…look, we were to give you this doctor…"

"‘What Doctor?"

"HE was the main one they were bringing, but they brought the ones with bags as extra."

"Extra Doctors? And there’s two with bags now?"

"No! One ‘ems easy to forget. Look, CIA…"

"His given name."

"Yeah, CIA says…look, don’t know what you’re playin’ at here…can’t be bringing mates. But they say they work for this kind of gangster guy, called Blaine. And CIA says…right, we’ll take ‘im."

"Ok, I’ll stop you there. If they lift up the hoods, and it’s a monkey, or any kind of primate, we are NEVER doing this feature again."

>>87101858
>Mann?
No, it was the 2nd part of Scorsese

>>87102426
“No, no listen. They get in the air, and CIA’s like, carrying on trying to get them to talk about the gangster.”

“While on the plane?”

“He says…where they’re going…they’re expecting one less than there is.”

“What do you MEAN Karl?”

“Like, what he’s saying is he’ll throw one out.”

“Of the plane?”

“Yeah, and like, he opens the door, and he pulls one over and like, shoots out the window next to his head.”

“‘Shoots him you mean.”

“No. He only pretends. And pretends to throw ‘im out. And CIA says… oh, he didn’t fly so good.”

“No, he didn’t.”

“Yes, he did.”

“No he didn’t. that’s not grammatically correct, you messed it up in your weird little Manc head.”

“Listen. And the other one, with the bag on their head, ‘e says…he says, well you wouldn’t shoot someone, would ya? if you were just going to chuck ‘em away anyway. And CIA walks over, takes off his mask, and its Blaine, and he’s got this like, metal spider thing, covering his mouth.”

“Oh CMON!”

“No, he does. It sort of looks like…did you ever open up a washing machine, and its all small pipes all close together. It was all that…but in face form.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“And CIA says…he says…if I take that off, would you be alright, or is it like a medicine thing. Would you die, basically, is what he was asking.”

*Sigh* All right, and what did he say.”

“He said it would hurt a lot and that.”

“Right.”

“For you.”

“What.”

“It would hurt a lot…for you.”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN!”

“Nevermind. See its just ‘cause it’s me sayin’ it. If you saw that in a film, like, a film from that one who made Inception or what have ya, you’d think it was brilliant.”

“He wouldn’t PUT THAT in his films! He’s not that stupid!”

>The Dark Knight Rises, directed by Edgar Wright

>CIA: "What's the next step of your master plan?"

>Bane: "Crashing this plane...with no survivors!"

>Flashback, a series of quick shots showing how Bane's men got their gear, loaded up their second plane, secretly flew over the other plane, and rappelled down

>Camera snaps back to CIA's face

>CIA: "No! This can't be happening! I'm in charge here!"

>80s pop music starts playing

Anyone have the Tim Burton pasta?

>>87102426
>>87102464
fucking brilliant

I'm trying to imagine Bergman and all I can think of is the beginning of The Seventh Seal but with CIA as Death.

>Vem är du?
>Jag är CIA.

What would a Shyamalan version be like? I'm not creative enough to come up with something good.

>>87102135
What's this actors name

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>>87102943
https://vocaroo.com/i/s1ImiBojFfaC

>>87100386
Instead of getting the hostages on board they just stand and watch a girl in clown make up dance around.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dNwFVk68PI

>>87100929
Not bad. Needs a black character who speaks ebonics

>>87103034
Jonathan Cohen
www.imdb.com/name/nm0169512/

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>>87103088

>10 minute silent scene of the car driving to the plane

>>87100951
t. the stupid chicken eating nigger

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Hey Party People in the house! Its me DJ Ski Mask.

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>>87103273
t-tack bror

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JJ Abrams

camerashot slightly infront of the plane as it goes past

>"No one cared about me, not before I put on the mask"

CIA takes of the hood

the whole theater laughs because Bane looks really ugly without the mask

>"That mask, will you die without it?"

>"It would be really painful.."

CIA laughs and looks at his comrades

>"You're a pretty big guy though"

>"painful.. for you"

Camerashot far away from plane watching it go by

>"Tell me, was getting caugt somehow a part of your plan?"

>"I'll guess you have to wait and see"

camerashot on the now two planes, shakey zoom in on the new plane

>"Dr. Pavel declined our offer, instead he choose to help you. We want to find out why"

camera shows futureistic CGI men with jetpacks jump out of the new plane

>"well, you got yourselfs caught. looks like this is the end of your "masterplan"

>"no.. CRASHING THIS PLANE IS"

>>87102057
Has someone made a silent movie edit of the bame scene yet?

>>87103405
not enough exposition, viewers might get lost

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>>87103088
>för dig
The delivery on that jfc.

>>87102304
A lot of directors...write their own films..or have their directing style....enter into the writing....

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>>87103517

>CIA leaning against his plane, illuminated by a red light from the side of the aircraft
>close up of his face, covered in red light
>synth pop starts playing
>masketta man pulls up in his jeep
>CIA slowly walks to him
>they stare at each other silently for 30 seconds
>....I'm CIA
>next scene, CIA is brutally beating on of the hired guns while the synth pop soundtrack plays, his face splattered with blood

>>87104002
Good attempt at Refn
You missed the surrealist imagery though along with a slow-mo music scene

>>87104002
Kino

Shame you'll never be a director. Ever.

>>87101595
Terrance Malick

>The Dark Knight Rises, directed by David Benioff and D. B. Weiss

>CIA and Masketta meet in a field outside the plane

>CIA: "Uh, you don't get to bring friends"

>Pavel: "They are not my friends."

>Masketta: "They're a couple of dickless cunts we found trying to grab your prize"

>CIA: "Get them onboard, I'll call it in"

>As CIA walks away, Masketta whispers into his phone

>Masketta: "Call the plane, they're taking off"

>We see an airplane take off from Australia, on the other side of the planet

>Five minutes later

>CIA: "Well congratulations, you got yourself caught! Now what's the next step of your master plan, you fookin cunt?"

>Bane: "Crashing this plane, with no fookin survivors!"

>The plane from Australia has somehow arrived already. Reinforcements shoot at CIA's men

>CIA: "AHHHH NO PLEASE BANE I LOVED YOU PLEASE DON'T KILL ME AHHHHH"

>Bane cuts CIA's throat and removes his mask to reveal a young woman

>CIA's men immediately surrender and yell YASS SLAY QUEEN

>>87101981
LYNCHED
Y
N
C
H
E
D

>>87104491

>and who
>are you

>>87102426
>>87102464
10/10

>shots of the surrounding nature intertwined with shits of the plane
>narration by cia "you know, I remember my father would talk about days like these, the hot heat seering, almost penetrating with every breath."
>face on shot of cia with sad expression, back to nature shots
>"do people realise just before they die that they are dying, or does it just end... As quickly as it started... Forever "
>nature shots
>"I never thought, the day like today would be the day I found out, then again I never expected to meet a man like Bane on a day like this"

>>87102771
bravo

>>87102426
>>87102464

Best in the thread though the Tarantino is pretty close

>>87100574
>>no actual shots of feet
>>no kung fu or exploitation soundtracks
>>no cameo
m8 try harder

>>87101858
>cut to a buggy full of burly men with long waxed mustaches and 3 captives with paper bags over their heads
>a tall, thin man with an archaic military cap checks his pocket watch as a deringible idles in the background
>Dr. Pavelstensworth? I'm with the secret intellectual alliance
>excuse me, but you don't get to bring friends with you on this journey
>the men to whom you are referring are NOT my companions, and I would prefer if you would abstain from any further implication of the sort!
>SIA hesitates, embarrassed and insists that the be-bagged men be loaded onto the deringible
>the flight plan that I just wired to the alliance only records myself, my constituents, The Lady Conchessa of Essex, but only one of you rogues!
>the first one to reveal their true motives will be allowed to remain aloft!
>French accordion music begins to swell as SIA interrogates each of the bag headed men over tea in his office in a ludicrous fashion, until he reaches the last man who refuses to speak
>I must say, I am bemused at your level of alliegence to your handler
>perchance I an merely enduring this silence out of a shrewd understanding of your intentions
>SIA removes the bag to reveal a man with a mask bestrewn with wires, tubing, and a pocket watch
>nobody inquired as to my true identity prior to my donning of this contraption
>if I removed that would you be in anguish?
>certainly
>SIA is caught off guard by this response and fumbles with his words and stumbles as the deringible encounters turbulence
>well that's re-assuring-
>I was referring to you, you ponce

>>87105024
Shit, I don't know. Ridley Scott?

>>87105024
>Ottawa or Texas

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>>87102426
>>87102464
these were top tier

>Toy airplane lands
>Whoosh effects
>Toy truck comes running towards the plane
>Kid making car sounds
>Sudden transition to live action as we see teenage Bill Wilson; rebel
>"Dr. Pavel? I'm the CIA."
>Dr. Pavel is a handsome doctor played by Channing Tatum
>"Hey can I bring friends?"
>"Does it look like I brought friends?"
>"You don't have any friends."
>"...who are they"
>"They work for the mercenary. The masketta man."
>"..."
>"Bane?"
>Dramatic hamster meme music starts playing

>>87106545
pixar?

>>87102464
>oh, he didn’t fly so good.”
>“No, he didn’t.”
>"Yes, he did.”

Read it in their voices, 10/10

>>87106545
Ishiro Honda circa 1969

>banjo plays a simple tune, ultra wide shot of the train, CIA standing in front
>closeup of CIA's eyes, played by Lee Van Cleef
>banjo plays again
>CIA's perspective, an old-timey car approaching
>CIA's eyes again
>eyes look to his left
>Smee (Eli Wallach)'s eyes look to the right
>wide shot, car arrives, banjo again plays, but with an entire orchestra accompanying this time
>Dr Pavel (Robert DeNiro) exits car with Masketta (Charles Bronson) &3 hooded men
>a tense standoff
>all stare silently at each other as music plays
>CIA:"I want his friend?"
>masketta nods
>fade into them on the train as the music fades out
>CIA says nothing as he opens the carriage door
>the noise from outside of the train against the tracks blares in
>he gestures and takes the first prisoner to the door
>he pokes the barrel of a 6-shooter into the prisoner's head and cocks it, making a loud noise
>CIA:"Bane? You know him?"
>silence other than the train
>CIA shoots next to the guy's head making a loud bang
>he gestures as the prisoner is taken away and the next one is brought to the door
>again, he pokes the gun into the prisoner
>cia:"what about you? you wanna tell me something?"
>again, no one says anything
>cia: "alright...."
>he points the gun to the side about to shoot
>prisoner3:"maybe... we're all wondering why you keep shooting into thin air"
>cia stares aggressively at the prisoner and gestures
>his hood is removed to reveal Bane, played by Clint Eastwood, with a cigarillo in his mouth
>Bane: "you know, no one cared who I was until I shot the wrong idiot"
>cia, laughing: "tell me friend, if i take away that thing you're smoking will you die? or will just panic like a baby without his bottle?"
>Bane brings a lit cigarette to his mouth, having somehow freed his hands
>Bane:"I wouldn't. It will be painful"
>CIA laughs again
>CIA:"what you got a medical problem or something?"
>Bane looks sharply at him: "for you"
>the two stare at each other
>suddenly Bane shoots CIA before he can aim

>long shot across a desert
>out in the middle of nowhere we see a rusty old plane on a small airstrip
>CIA is standing there in a long black robe
>he watches a rat that has a huge visible tumor on its back walk across the airstrip (this shot is at lest 2 minutes long)
>an old man drives up to him in a pickup with three cages on the back
>three men wearing only black hoods and loincloths are inside the cages
>the old man gives CIA a small gemstone in the shape of an eye
>CIA looks deeply into it
>blueprints and formulas and general physics mumbo jumbo flash across the screen while muffled screams and trippy music is heard
>CIA looks up to the old man and asks with a thick spanish accent:
>"I know what this is, but who are they?" pointing towards the men in cages
>The old man, obviously incapable of speech, puts in hands in front of his mouth and nose and looks CIA straight into the eyes
>A few more rats crawl across the strip, this time their tails are cut off and they leave a trail of blood
>CIA nods knowingly and the man walks to the back of the pickup and violently drops the prisoners on the floor
>a goad two dozen 10 year old boys in pink camouflage come flooding out of the plane and surround the cages
>CIA orders them to load the cages onto the plane
>next shot is of the interior of the plane
>its a snowy boreal forest with more children sitting around fires warming themselves as they grill and eat dogs
>CIA is seen sitting on a golden cushion in the snow, the eye-stone on a pedestal next to him
>two of the men,all still caged up, are freezing and trying to keep warm, the third is calm

contd

>>87108494
>"there is only so much room in this sacred place, I am afraid at least two of you will have to be sacrificed"
>he claps his hands twice, each time followed by a gong, and the two outer prisoners dissolve into more disfigured rats
>the remaining man removes his hood
>his head is that of a goat
>CIA raises his eyebrow ever so slightly and whispers: Bane
>the goatheaded man destroys the cage he is in and stands up
>ceiling shot with the stone being exactly in the middle of them with some of the children surrounding the two men
>after what seems to be an eternity of them looking into each others eyes Bane sprints towards the pedestal and grabs the stone
>at the same time the children run towards him, he has to punch some of them out of the way
>CIA remains seated and loudly orders the children back
>"what do you plan to do with him?", he asks
>"that is of no concern to you now, old man" the goathead replies
>"for now what matters is that I will destroy this plane, with you and everyone in it!"
>a gust of wind goes through the forest towards CIA and hundreds of tarot cards with it
>seven men on camels come from the trees, armed with assault rifles
>they start shooting all children in sight
>a single tear rolls over CIAs face as the forest shakes like in a earthquake
>with a smokecloud, Bane, the gemstone and six of his men disappear into nothingness
>The last of Banes men, after all children are dead, shoots himself in the head, doves erupt from his dead torso
>CIA, after glancing over the dead bodies, pulls a dagger from underneath his robe
>"I have failed you, my beloved Agency, I beg of you to forgive me", he weeps, as he thrusts the dagger into his belly
>After a closeup of his face as he coughs up blood, we see a black screen
>With a thunder appears in white letters the name of the movie:
>"LA ASCENSION DE EL CABALLERO NEGRO"
>"UNA PELICULA DE ALEJANDRO JODOROWSKY"

British CIA documentary:

>Here, in the steppes of Kazakhstan, the CIA is in search of its prize
>3 minutes of very clean and uninterrupted footage of the CIA following a plane

American CIA documentary:
>inception horns playing in the background
>YOU PROBABLY WOULDN'T WANT ONE OF THESE BIG GUYS IN YOUR COCKPIT
>Rapid jump cuts of the Masketta Man
>THE BIG GUY MIGHT LOOK LIKE A MAN THROWN OUT OF A PLANE, BUT THIS NASTY HOT-HEAD IS NOT TO BE MESSED WITH
>more flashy jump cuts
>THIS LITTLE WRECKAGE BROTHER DOESNT KNOW WHATS WAITING FOR HIM, THE RISE OF THE FIRE IS NOT TO BE UNDERESTIMATED
>more flashy jump cuts
>the big guy strikes
>strange CIA grunts and screeching noises are dubbed in as it attacks because silent plane crashes are too boring for americans
>slow mo replay of the crash in black and white
>AND IT'S EXTREMELY PAINFUL
>THAT LITTLE DOCTOR
>SHOULD'NT HAVE BROUGHT HIS FRIENDS
>Starwipe to the next clip

D&D :
>plane takes off
>CIA is at the part where he asks what's the next step of Bane's masterplan
>they're still in the air
>"Crashing this plane..."
>plane suddenly teleports in an american airport
>"yes dabid, that's a really good idea"

>>87100386
More CIA cosplay OP

>>87100574
Entertaining.

>>87108538
>UNA PELICULA DE ALEJANDRO JODOROWSKY
I fucking knew it. Haven't even seen any of is films.But just from the stills from Holy Mountain and seeing Jodorowsky's Dune, I knew it was this fucker
Well played

>>87102426
Which director

>>87108855
Ricky Gervais Show, it's a podcast

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>>87102464
>>87102426

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>>87100574
Go on

>>87100574
i zozzled

>>87101983
Unfortunately Cockney accent doesnt translate well into text.

COONTS.

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>Slow, euphoric synth chords.
>Slow-mo pull back through the interior of the plane, CIA filing a flight plan, smee and maimen load their weapons
>Another slo-mo pull back from the door ext. plane as CIA walks out with the soldiers and adopts the stance
>Synth intensifies
>We see the jeep approach from afar, masketta, pavel and the hired guns get out.
>Music softens
>Intense, tightly shot staring between CIA, masketta and Pavel
>CIA: "You don't get to bring friends."
>Pavel: "They're not me friends."
>CIA gestures with his head to the plane
>They get on board as CIA gets out his phone to call it in
>Cut to - Plane flying through pink and purple sunsets montage to Cliff Martinez
>"NWR" fades onscreen

>>87103405
>the whole theater laughs because Bane looks really ugly without the mask
bravo nolan

>Akira Kurosawa
>ching chong ping pong ...BANE?

Beginning of CIA, by Hideaki Anno:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=233OwqrLvgE

>>87108538
THE CARDS HAD PREDICTED OUR MEETING: THE BIG MAN; THE CRASHED SHIP.

>>87100574
incredible

>tracking shot following SUV
>cgi gophers with human mannerisms watch SUV from distance
>teenagers in convertible hot rod pull up beside SUV
>gorgeous jewish girl with a yarmulke winks at SUV driver
>SUV driver an Aryan with scars in an American military uniform
>Shot of SUV driver putting SUV in gear revealing an SS tattoo on his wrist
>SUV driver smiles wryly at the Jewish girl
>Jewish girl laughs
>SUV driver laughs revealing a gold tooth
>SUV driver stomps on gas
>SUV driver smashes into hot rod convertible
>SUV driver tries to run over cute gopher bitch
>Indiana Jones whips through SUV window looking confused
>"Bein?"
>"I like Ike"
>"I'm ZIA, 6 million more will dye, Dr. Jonze"
>"Not on his watch, pilgrim"
>"hez watch? Whoze..."
>Batman flys in through windshield
>dolly shot rapidly in on SUV drivers face, looks anxious
>"I'm Batman"
>sad morally conflicted shot of eric bana holding a pistol on his bed

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>>87110090

>>87110090
[slow clap]

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>>87102426
I started laughing in class, fuck

>>87102464
Jesus Christ this is brilliant. Someone screen cap this and edit them together.

>>87110011
Someone pls do a real Kurosawa TDKR. With overexaggerated crowd reactions and sudden loud commanding angry voices and all that. Im not creative enough to do it myself :(.

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>>87102426
>>87102464
holy shit

(piano music with electric guitar)
Skyscapes. Time lapse shots of Kazakhstan and Gotham.

The plane.

"At that moment I realised. I WAS CIA. He WAS THE MASKED MAN."

Shots of CIA and Bane running towards each other, music swells. Flashbacks. Long tracking shot of a plane exploding.

CIA stops at the top of a flight of stairs. Hooded figure at the bottom turns.

CIA: "Have I seen you somewhere?"
Hooded Figure: "It is extremely probable."
Both: "You're Bane!"
Music reaches a climax. Both cry.

Title Card: "君はバーネ: A film by Makoto Shinkai"

>>87100574
lol

>>87108566
Highly underrated

>>87104002
>how about this? you bring me the doctor or ill crash your plane with no survivors for you.

>>87101613
If this was wes anderson you nailed it.

>>87108566
Holy shit

>>87110090
>Those pictures
Fucking amazing

>>87100386
CIA: That's Doctor Pavel alright, I'll take it from here.

Mosquito man: Well uh, ya see, he uh, wasn't alone.

CIA: Uh huh? Well uh, sorry to break this to ya fellas but you don't, hah, you don't get to bring friends ya know!

Pavel: They aren't my friends. [Gets shoved into the plane]

CIA: And uh, why would I want them? I mean I only got enough room on my aircraft for me and a coupla' guys!

Moquito: Well ya see, here's the deal. They were trying to grab Doctor Pavel over there, were real keen on it too. Ya know, you could probably get some info outta them, I bet. Heard they worked for that masked fella.

CIA: Masked fella? You mean, what's his name? Uhhh, Bane?

Mostquito: Yessir.

CIA: Well Okiedokie, get them on board, I'll go over there and call it in.

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>>87102426
>>87102464
excellent

>>87102464
so how many times have you been though the XFM shit? More than a few id guess.

>>87113387
Coen Brothers I guess? But its sounds closer to the Fargo series if I remember the movie correctly.

>Pronounced blue colour saturation with muted colours
>Miscast CIA standing in front of a plane
>Not so subtle 300 reference on the planes tail
>Plane also has its name printed on the side which is an obscure reference to Greek mythology relevant to this scene.
>CIA has arms stretched out with the sun shining on him through the clouds jesus allegory
>Wide shot of a jeep and the plane, zooming in as the jeeps approaches the plane.
>Slow-mo showing men with hoods walking up to the plane
>CIA: Dr Pavel I'm Bill Wilson (completely stoic)
>Dr Pavel boards the panel without being asked to.
>Mosquitoman: We found someone else who you were looking for (completely stoic)
>CIA: Could it be? Bane?
>CIA makes bible references alluding Bane to be the devil
>After everyone has finished boarding, and they are getting ready to take off, Maimen turns around and say to Jaun Ofeuv:
>Maimen: I heard this Bane guy is the devil himself

>Movie splits the fanbase against each other.

>>87101051
>>87101373
fucking bravo

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Not a director but I'll just share this.

>>87110855
>"we wanted to know what he told you"
>Dr. Pavel jumps out of his seat with pure anger in his face
>he tosses something on the ground and exclaims loudly
>"NOTHING, I SAID NOTHING"

>>87114386
Fucking kek

>>87108566
>YOU PROBABLY WOULDN'T WANT ONE OF THESE BIG GUYS IN YOU COCKPIT
My sides

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I'm wearing a Ralph Lauren navy blue jacket. Laura doesn't like it, she says it, "reminds her of her grandpa." I just smile at her when she says this, masking the hatred behind my eyes.
Beneath it, I have a light blue polo on. My pants are Central Intelligence Agency issue Khaki's, ugly, but blood washes off well.
I study the bag, it appears to be black cashmere, very nice. I pull it off to reveal, a bald head? "Very out of style this year," I mutter under my breath.
He appear to have some sort of black and decker food processor on his face or something. I don't recognize it. It reminds me of a patty winters show where she interviewed a man so fat, he needed a mask to help him breathe. I realize without the mask and a full head of hair he would look like Jack Johnson, quietly I am grateful it isn't him.
I look at him and with sarcasm, ask him, "If I pulled that off would you die?"
He looks me dead in the eye and replies in some sort of Kermit-the-frog voice, "It would be extremely painful."
Barely able to contain myself at this, I hold the laughs in, grimacing.
"You're a big guy."
"For you."

>>87103490
Kinda https://youtu.be/kpu94OBx_qg

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>>87108566

>>87103235
>(((Cohen)))
D R O P P E D

>>87108566
>British Kitchen Nightmares vs American Kitchen Nightmares

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>>87100386
>CIA - "It seems that one of you fine gentlemen know about the big henchman we're looking for who goes by the name of Bane. If one of you would kindly tell us about this enigmatic figure, we can get this over with... Who knows? You could end up having a nice romantic dinner without us bothering you again

>Masked Man #3 - *whispers* "Creep"

>CIA - I *know* that wasn't directed towards me now was it? You're pretty bold considering how no one else here is talking.

>Masked Man #3 - "I'm not bold I just want you to shut up already"

>CIA proceeds to unmask the henchman only to be surprised by the realization that Bane is in front of him

>CIA - "You sure know how to get yourself in a bind fella" *pats Bane on the head and turns around briefly*

>Bane - *whispers* "Faggot"

>CIA - *becoming visibility irritated* "BIG WORDS COMING FROM THE MAN ON HIS KNEES WHO'S ONLY WEAPON IS HIS FUCKING MOUTH"

>Bane - "Whoa there I didn't think you would take a joke... But you look and sound like you take dick"

>CIA - "THAT'S FUCKING IT! YOU'RE NOT MAKING IT BACK TO THE STATES IF I TOSS YOU OUT OF THIS MOVING PLANE RIGHT NOW!"

>Bane - *with a smug tone* "Not if I toss you first"

>*plane proceeds to get shot the fuck up*

>>87102426
>>87102464

Coen Brothers

>The beginning simple, almost comic. Just a jeep. Mercenaries on a plane, with a flight plan. And then suddenly, high above it, another plane. A single plane, hanging there, unwavering. Until a masked man took over and sweetened it into a phrase of such delight! "For you" This was no master plan by a performing monkey! This was a plan with no survivors. Filled with such rising, such fire rising, it had me trembling. It seemed to me that I was hearing the voice of Bane.

>>87104491
not bad, kid

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>>87108566
>implying I need my sides

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>>87108566
>starwipe

>>87108722
I see what you were going for, if it makes you feel any better

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>>87110090
This is the best thread on /tv/ I've seen in a while

>>87101595
I thinking malick

>johnny depp walks in
>tim burton music starts playing

>>87117788
danny elfman music, boy i fucked that reveal up

>>87101373
>je ne regrette rien starts playing quietly
>the chorus hits as Bane's men slaughter everyone

perfect.

>>87102464
Can someone YouTube or vocaroo this please?

>It all began with the filing of the flight plan. Three seats were given to CIA and his men. One seat, to Dr. Pavel, a great doctor and scientist. And four, four seats were gifted to the mercenaries, who above all else desire power. For within this flight plan was bound the strength and the will to determine why he wears the mask. But they were all of them deceived, for another plan was made. In the middle of the plane,underneath the hood, the masked man Bane forged in secret, a master plan, to control all others. And into this plan he poured all his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate all life. Crashing this plane with no survivors. One by one, CIA and his men fell to the power of the plan. But there were some who resisted. A last attempt to be in charge against the armies of Bane, and on the very floor of the plane, they spoke. "If I take that off will you die? It would be extremely painful." Victory was near, but the power of Bane could not be undone. It was in this moment, when CI said you're a big guy, that Bane, stared into his eyes and said, For You. And CIA, enemy of the masked man, was defeated.

NOLAN

>What if you find yourself in an airplane about to crash only seconds away from breathing your last breath, and knowing that the amount of cunnyposting you did gets you to hell
>you close your eyes and wait for the inevitable, you expect endless flames, limitless pain
>you open your eyes, you only see darkness, you see nothing
>you hear heavy breathing around you, but you are alone
>you feel vibrations moving, but you are completely still.
>Then your senses starts coming back, what you thought as pitch black darkness turns out to be a bag over your head
>Then the vibrations turn to a halt, you realize you we're in a vehicle all along,and and it stopped, a man grabbed you by the arm and took you away and lead you somewhere you dont know, somewhere unknown.
>You stand completely still, not knowing what is about to happen
>You then hear a voice saying "Dr. Pavel, I'm CIA"
>you say to yourself "Holy fucking shit, it cant be!"
>Hell is fucking /tv/ manifest, Your eyes filled with joy, your heart beats in excitement.
>"Uh.. you dont get to bring friends", you smile for a reason you cannot comprehend, you think to yourself, "Hell isn't that bad"
>so you start to play along, with each and every scene
>you participated in it
>you laughed at every line, every exchange, every dialogue
>The scene eventually reached the part where Bane hijacked the plane
>CIA and his men are dead
>You notice Bane looking at you, and you dont know why
>Then to your horror you realize that you are Little Brother
>Bane is hanging by the rope looking down at you
>He's waiting for your line
>knowing this scene by heart, you say to him nervously, tears in eyes
"Have we started the fire?"
>"The fire rises!"
>in a blink of an eye, Bane is gone, the plane you're in is falling
>you close your eyes
>What if you find yourself in an airplane about to crash only seconds away from breathing your last breath, and knowing that the amount of cunnyposting you did gets you to hell

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>>87118679

>>87114921
Tommy?

>>87100386

Martin Scorsese

[CIA and SMEE are smoking, leaning aginst the plane waiting for Dr Pavel to arrive]

CIA:Fucking Langley, making me ferry some fucking kebab guzzeling dunecoon

Smee: What, you think you're fucking better than this?

CIA: fucking ayy, I could be beating some information out of a rice snorting chink right now.

Smee: whatever you say boss, I just wana get back home and fuck my wife........then fuck my girlfriend.

[Cia and smee both laugh]

[70s rock music start playing as dr pavel and co show up in a red Lamborghini]

[Freeze frame of cia doing power pose]

CIA: Hey you see that scrawny fucker, fingering his fucking belt loop like some kinda horny cunt on omagle. Yeah thats me Bill Wilison, you see working for the CIA gave me a kick that you regular bozos would never understand. The kinda kick you get beating the fuck out of a Jew on chirstmas eve. You see that fucking brown cunt there, that's dr Pavel. His doctorate is in fucking shit up. And, now it is up to me to get him somwhere, where he won't fucking fuck everything the fuck up if he doesn't fuck me up first.

[50s Jazz music starts playing while credit play]

CIA: Dr Pavel of who ever the fuck cares astan. I'm CIA get your fucking brown arse in plane

Cont

someone should save these on a pastepin.

>>87121039
The Banes of Gotham
Plane Crasher
The Big Guy of Gotham Square

Black and white, slow pan across grassy field revealing a soviet era plane. There is no music. It’s raining. KGB and smee sit back to back looking across the field. This shot last at least a minute.
An old Jeep approaches carrying several men. We watch as they travel the entire way to the plane. The screen flashes making it in color once they reach the plane. Colors are faded and grainy. All dialogue is in Russian.
Static shot of men in front of plane. Dr. Pavel and KGB stand back to back liking in opposite directions.
KGB(calmly): Dr. Pavel, I’m KGB.
Dr.Pavel looks down. Then whips his head around to face the mosquito man.
Mosquito man: He wasn’t alone.
KGB gets frustrated.
KGB: You can’t have friends
Dr. Pavel runs in front of CIA to explain in an exasperated way.
Dr. Pavel: they aren’t my friends! (Crying) I don’t have friends! People don’t believe in anything anymore, so I need to be alone.
KGB begins to console Pavel
KGB: It’s okay i’ll believe. I can be your friend and you can make me believe.
Hugging Pavel KGB looks up at the hooded men.
KGB: why would I want them?
Mosquito: They work for the one who
covers his face.
KGB quickly turns to Mosquito
KGB: are you talking about bane?
Mosquito nods and KGB gets up.
KGB: get on board I’ll call it in.
Poetry is read quietly as the camera slowly pans across a flying plane. The camera goes to a static shot of the interior.
KGB sits in front of the hooded figures.
KGB: why are you grabbing Dr.Pavel? Why does Bane wear the mask? Is he hiding something?
No one says anything.
Third prisoner: of course. So many of us hide things it isn’t surprising to believe bane is hiding something as well.
KGB looks surprised at the third man.
A verse from revelations about the devils appearance is read slowly and rhythmically, as KGB slowly pulls off the mask.
Bane: this mask does not only hide identity, but it also gives it. It is the duality of an object. No one cared who I was till I put it on
(Cont)

(Cont)
KGB: if I take that off will you die?
Bane: part of me would as some of my identity would be lost and isn’t that part of what gives us are soul? The loss of ones soul is extremely painful.
KGB: You’re a large man.
Bane: maybe for you, but that doesn’t mean the loss of my soul doesn’t hurt. What if I took your polo shirt? Would you still be the same man you are now?
KGB pauses in thought.
KGB: maybe not. I’m also curious though. Why did you get caught? Was that a part of your master plan?
Bane: of course. We needed to find out what dr.Pavel revealed to you.
Dr.Pavel again rushes to beg at KGBs feet.
Dr.Pavel: I told them nothing! I would never reveal anything to them!
KGB: well then what are you planning to do next?
Bane gets up
Bane: crashing this plane. With no survivors.
Bach begins to play and the camera pans across a raining to reveal a burning plane in a large field.

t. Tarkovsky

>>87121039

Traider guy: Now now billi boy don't get to exsited or you may upset his friends here

CIA: fucking what did you say to may you mother fucker you.

Traider guy: I said........

[CIA shoots him in the multiple times than bursts into laughter]

CIA: get em on board boys, looks like it's bouns night tonight yeeeeehaaaaaw

[Slow 50s love ballad plays as it quickly cuts between bloody interrogations]

CIA: fuck it, if you wont open you're mouths maybe this fall might.

[Plane doors open, cia sticks assaliant head out of the plane]

CIA: fucking talk, you fucking cocksucker you.

[Cia fires gun]

CIA: HAHAHAHAHA the fucking balls on these fuckers

[ next assaliants head out of plane]

CIA: Fuck me these fucking guys havent even flinched, these are some loyol fucking bozos.

Masked man: or perhaps, Director Clemterani knows you and dr pavel have fucking ratting us to the fucking russains of all fucking people

Cia: hahaha you are one funny fucker you know that, it doesn't matter who we all that matters is that you are fucked, you fucking Irish fuck.

Cont

>>87121715
[Cia takes off mask]

Bane: nobody cared who i was before you put that fucking hit on me you rat fuck you

Cia: If I shoot you now will you finaly fucking die

BANE: no but it will fucking hurt like a mother fucker

CIA: you have some big fucking balls, I can tell you that, was getting caught part of your plan

BANE: fucking ayy

CIA: BRAVO BANE bra fucking vo what are going to huh fucking kill me

BANE: fuck no you dumb fuck im hoing to crash this plane then fucking kill you

Cont

>>87121966
Bane: Dr Pavel ratted us out to the fucking chinks too, We have to find out what he told em

DR P: FUCK YOU I diden't say shit

Plane scene continues as in film

wes anderson

>cue plinky indie ukulele music
>wide shot directly perpendicular to the road
>see side of military jeep driving by
>shot from directly above the jeep, following it as it drives down the perfectly straight road
>direct frontal close up shot of CIA's face
>hear jeep pulling up and doors slamming
>CIA has that magical twinkle in his eye
>cut to shot of Dr. Paval head on from the waist up, in the center of the shot, the bagged men standing next to him, all the exact same distance apart
>CIA: Ah Dr. Pavel, I'm a member of the Central Intelligence Agency, I'm sure you've heard of them?
>Dr. Pavel: Of course.
>CIA: Who are your companions then?
>CIA Goon: Sir they appear to work for the masked man.
>CIA: Ah, well then they'll be joining us on this flight then, won't they.
>shot from the direct front of plane, with the nose in one half of the shot, and the other half with the boarding ramp and a line of CIA goons holding the black bagged men boarding the plane single file
>it's a vintage bi-plane from the 1940s
>shot of plane taking off is obviously that of a plastic model plane of the same type with clouds precariously made from cotton and what is likely a painted paper background

Bong joon-ho
>shot of cia dancing in the field to sad ballad music
>Cut to a close up of his face, he's looking down now standing by he plane
>loud noise of a car stopping, cia looks up and he camera follows his eyes moving quickly
>smee and the captured men are standing almost completely still like statues you only hear he sound of he wind
>Dr. Pavel....
>one of the captured men starts screaming and kicking around and manages to start running away
>cia starts chasing him immediatly the camera following behind cia's back moving smoothly
>cia jump kicks the man and then they wrestle on he ground (now a static shot) cia rises up and jumpkicks him again
>starts walking to the plane, cia is in center of the frame , 2 henchmen pass him to go pick up the captured man
>stands infront of Dr. Pavel
>looks directly into the camera
>I'm CIA
>quick cut to plane flying away while you hear the henchmen and Dr. Pavel laughing loudly
>shot inside the plane from the front to the end
>CIA is standing and singing karaoke in the middle of the path at the tail end

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>>87102426
>>87102464
Fucking incredible. 10/10

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>>87100574
Spat out my coffee.

>>87115421
You forgot the reference to a trendy dish made from implausible ingredients.

>>87102426
>>87102464
brilliant

>>87102457
fuck u for interrupting genius

>>87100951
He only does that in the "random conversation" scenes where the character speaking is obviously meant to be his mouthpiece. He doesn't do that so often when plot is actually going down.

>>87117770
It's not Malick if it doesn't have a vague voiceover extolling the beauty of nature.

>I wanted to be loved because I was great; A big man. I'm nothing. Look at the glory around us; trees, birds. I lived in shame. I dishonored it all, and didn't notice the glory. I'm a foolish man.

Toss that in somewhere and we're good.

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>>87102426
>>87102464
put me in the screen cap

Good thread

>>87114386
HACK SYNDER BTFO!

Why is there a fucking bra?
Who would shoot a copy photo with a chick instead?

>>87110607
Stephen Spielberg?

bump, gonna post a snyder version

>>87124955
Already done >>87114386

>>87124965
>Already done
not really

>>87108566
nice dubs.
your post deserves it

This is the only truly patrician discussion on this whole board.

>>87100574
fucking great

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>>87102426
>>87102464

>no kubrick yet

>>87102474
as I was reading this Dreams by Van Halen started playing and it's hilarious.

>>87103405

needed lens flares.

>>87125278

>screen is black
>horns playing softly in the background and slowing increasing in intensity.
>the camera shows the sun slowly rising into the sky
>the camera slowly flows the sun which is now shining down on a towering man, hands placed on his belt, standing in front of a glistening plane
>DRUMS PLAY
>a tiny jeep approaches the massive monumental man
>the horns are now blaring loud
The jeep stops and men come out.
>DRUMS PLAY
>the towering man enters the plane with three hooded men.
>DRUMS PLAY

>Inside the cabin of the airplane
>CIA: I bring a message from the Agency; you're lives are to be spared.
>Hooded men look around in confusion
>CIA: Terrorists you are, and Terrorists you shall remain. But the terrible penalty of water-boarding has been set aside on the single condition that you identify the the international terrorist called Baneacus?
>Hoodedman1: I'm Baneacus
>Hoodedman2: No. I'm Baneacus
>Hoodedman3: Or perhaps you're wondering why you took three men on a plane, before find out which one is Bane?

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>>87125796

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>SNYDER
>N
>Y
>D
>E
>R

>Dull blue sky, overcast with tones of green and waving grass.
>Light score in the background.
>Closeup of CIA's face (played by a better man, like pic related)
>Camera zooms out as he starts walking forward (aka towards the camera) looking into the distance, hands in his pockets. He is wearing sunglasses, the macho kind.
>He stops.
>A jeep screeches to a halt right before his toes.
>He looks inside, does not recognize the two masked men.
"You don't get to bring friends!"
>other guy replies:
"Oни paбoтaют нa Бэйн."
>(subtitles: "They work for bane")
>The score turns silent.
>CIA takes off his glasses, his eyes are determined.
>CIA (His eyes don't waver form the masked men, jabs a thumb behind him)
>The masked men are loaded into the plane.
>Shot of the plane door being closed with a thud.
>Shot of inside of the plane, pure white charred by brown seats.

>>87103088
Kek

>>87126108
>CIA clicks his fingers a second later, and an ominous score starts. The door of the plane opens just as the masked men are slammed on their knees by their soldiers. Everything happens to the beat of the score and yet individually.
>CIA removes his jacket, hands it to a soldier. He puts on a white jacket.
>Quick shot of Bane loosening his cuffs, unnoticed by any of the soldiers.
>CIA makes a circle in the air, one of the men is dragged out to the edge of the door as CIA removes a gun from his boots.
"Ктo зaплaтил тeбe, чтoбы cхвaтить дoктopa Пaвлa?"
>(subtitles: "who paid you to grab Dr. pavel?")
>CIA shoots the gun.
"Oн нe лeтaл тaк хopoшo, ктo хoчeт пoпpoбoвaть дaльшe!"
>(subtitles: "He didn't fly so good, who wants to try next!")
>A scowl passes over his face. The second man is dragged out.
>The Score takes an omnious yet quieter tone.
>The second man, as he is over the edge of the door, saved only by CIA's foot on his chest:
"I do not care for petty power plays. Shoot me and be done with it. No MAN would threaten to shoot one before throwing him out of a plane"

>>87126211
>Bane turns CIA over using his training.
>The score increases in tempo and volume, while decreasing in pitch.
>The roles are now reversed, CIA is about to be shot on the precipice. Bane takes off the black cloth covering his face.
>Close up of bane's face, his eyes are deadly.
>CIA looks surprised but unafraid, yet alarmed at the same time. His eyes are flitting at his soldiers, all of whom are pointing guns at bane's head.
>Close up of the red dots on Bane's shaved head. His head cocks to one side, as he says:
"The only thing that matters is the plan"
>Bane jumps out of the plane with CIA, the soldiers precariously gather towards the ever-moving, precipituous drop, sure of the death of both men. They crane their necks out to look down.
>Suddenly a hand reaches towards the man standing close to the door from outside, pulling him out and towards his death. Men rush and position their guns to take out the man outside, but he shoots them with CIA's gun.

>>87126237
>As bodies fly out of the plane, CIA's body is shown mere moments before his inevitable death. His torso is facing the ground, while his white jacket flaps behind him like wings. His hands and legs are close together like a diver's. Crimson blood shoots up in the air from his skull, painting his jacket red as he disappears into a sea of green leaves.
>The score stops just as CIA's body disappears. This entire shot of CIA lasts for around two seconds.
>Bane is hanging outside the plane like Cruise in Mission Impossible 5. He comes inside.
>We see that his accomplice has taken out the other soldiers and is holding a gun to the pilot's temple. Bane closes the door.
>The inside of the plane is now not pure white, but charred with definitive streaks of red.
>Dr. Pavel is sitting in the middle of the plane, on the floor, blood streaming from his nose. In his eyes, a desperate fear.
>Bane makes his way to him, his boots thudding even in the plane's noise. His right hand in a fist, his left hands slowly lifts up as he gets down on one knee to come face-to-face with Pavel.
>His eyes connect with Pavel's, and he snorts derisively while placing Pavel's chin in the "V" between his index finger and thumb, and then encompassing Pavel's entire face in his hands, squeezing it.
>~fin~

>No excessive slow-mo
>No blatant biblical references or Jesus allegories.
>No rape scene
Only thing you got right was the grotesque violence.
And it took you over an hour for you synderbot to write it.>>87124955

>>87100386
>Spielberg:
>Paramount Logo
>Fades to Bane in the Jeep
>John Williams music starts to play
>Lighting in the car keeps Bane in shadows
>Pavel shown to be vey relieved by the situation, while Masketta Man (MM) is nervous
>Shot where Pavel raises his head to lookout of the front window
>Camera looks through the front window and zooms to the airplane ahead
>"So, we are finally here?"
>"Yes, doctor."
>"I'll be safe again." Turns to MM. "I can't thank you enough, my friend."
>MM blankly looks to the airplane: "Yes doctor, you'll be safe again."
>Shot where CIA's back is turned to the camera, and Jeep is parks short distance away from him
>Camera stays put, while CIA, and everyone from the jeep approach each other
>"Dr. Pavel," says masketta man. "He's the CIA."
>Close up to the briefcase switch.
>CIA stays silent.
>MM says nervously: "Now I know, the deal was about Dr. Pavel, but these men..."
>CIA reaches for his breast pocket, which startles MM
>Takes out his CIA badge, pins it to his chest, and with a hand motion he insists MM to continue his dialogue
>"...these men. They tried to stop you from getting to Dr. Pavel. They work the man with the Mask."
>CIA stops polishing his CIA badge, while camera slowly raises to his lips.
>"Bane?"
>"Yes, him exactly."
>CIA's face is shown fully for the first time as he says. "These men are coming on board. I have some questions for them."
>MM is relieved by this situation.

>>87100386
>TDKR, Written and Directed by Pierre Menard:

CUT TO:


Racing along a cratered dirt road, and we are -


INT. LAND CRUISER JOSTLING OVER UNEVEN TERRAIN - DAY

Three Hooded Men guarded by East European Militia. A third
Militia drives. Next to him is a nervous, bespectacled man.
EXT. AIRSTRIP, EASTERN EUROPE - DAY

An airstrip overlooking a grey city rocked by artillery
fire. A bland CIA Operative, flanked by Special Forces Men,
stands in front of a commuter plane. CIA Man watches the
Land Cruiser pull up, hard. The Militia Men jump out of the
vehicle.
The Driver shoves the bespectacled man in front of the CIA
Man.

2.
CIA MAN
Dr. Pavel, I'm CIA.
Dr. Pavel nods, nervous. CIA Man hands the Driver a
briefcase.
DRIVER
He wasn't alone.
CIA Man, confused, spots the Hooded Men. He turns to Dr.
Pavel.
CIA MAN
You don't get to bring friends.

DR. PAVEL

(SHAKEN)
They are not my friends.

DRIVER
Don't worry, no charge for them.

CIA MAN
Why would I want them?

DRIVER
They were trying to grab your
prize. (Smiles.) They work for the
mercenary. The masked man.
CIA MAN

(EXCITED)
Bane?
The Driver nods. CIA Man turns to his Special Forces Men.
CIA MAN
Get 'em on board - I'll call it in.

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>>87126425
Jurassic Bane

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>>87100929
Yeah up until last week I hadn't seen a Michael Bay flick. It was pearl harbor, and damn, everything I've heard is pretty much right.
>lens flares fucking everywhere
>thousands of explosions
>a whore for smoke machine and similar effects
>shitty acting/writing
>fetishistic scenes with femdom sprinkled around (think the needles)
>movie ends with Affleck raising his wife's son

>>87100386
I want the full sized picture, NAO!!

>>87126374
>please describe the entire thing
fuck off
>rape
wut

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>>87126374
>No excessive slow-mo
I included the scene where CIA's falling.
>No blatant biblical references or Jesus allegories.
You're too dumb to get the Icaurs reference
>No rape scene
>t. someone who think Snyder made 300 part 2

>>87126211
>>87126237
>>87126253
nice

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>>87100386

>>87100386
who is this

>>87101652
impossible

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>CIA had to die again to bring back Baneposting once more

truly /ourmessiah/

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>>87127047
Of course I am too dumb to get Synder's excellent referencing of historical events, they clearly too subtle for my simple mind to pick up.

>>87126947
300
Watchmen

>>87101595
The only line of dialogue that made the cut is
>Bane?
Malick is truly a genius

>>87127392
>300
>Watchmen
ot an argument. He doesn't do it for shock, and in both cases, it wasn't his decision. It was already in the story.

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>>87127431
So they were in his films that he made, you dumb hack synder shill?

>>87127567
How stupid are you?

>>87127431
there was no Leonidas wife plot in 300 at all, Snyder added it himself

>>87108283
Underrated

>>87100386
full pic you cunt

> Low angle camera on CIA standing. Dr Pavel stifly walks into shot

>Oh hello, hello, how are you?

> Fine fine, just fine.

> Who are those others? You can't bring friends, I'm very sorry...

> Oh no, they aren't my friends...

> Masketta man stifly walks forward.

> Oh hello hello. He wasn't alone...

> What do you mean?

> Oh They were trying to capture your prize. They work for the mercenary, the masked man.

> You mean bane?

> Yes yes...

> I see, I see...

> CIA is nodding and thinking

> Hmm, you could them on board, and I'll call it in?

> Masketta man is shaking his hand

> Oh that sounds great, really great!

> We finally cut to a low angle inside the plane with the three prisoners, CIA walks stifly in

> Oh hello. You see, there's too many here, so the first one that talks can stay, okay?

> CIA starts nodding, and so does every else. CIA grabs one of the hooded man and drags him to the open door while the camera pans slighty.

> Can you tell me about Bane, why does he wear the mask?

> You have a lot of loyalty

> CIA smiles and nods, masked guy starts nodding as well

> Oh thank you, thank you

old kino Nip director

Reminder that baneposting will never ever die

>>87101983
To really be Guy Ritchie they need to be from London.

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>>87127698
not him but
>mfw I went dressed as CIA last halloween
>mfw a hot girl dressed as Lara Croft kept hitting on me
>tfw I couldn't flirt with her because I was with my (now ex)girlfriend

>>87127802
F U C K O F F

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>>87102464
>Blaine

Absolutely brilliant m8

>>87127860
that's pretty rude

>>87127802
Can you make it a sloth please?

>>87102057
fritz lang

>>87121464
>>87121567
Wtf? Is this Dostoyevsky , Ingmar Bergman or some Soviet filmmaker I can't discern?

Someone do an Ed Wood version

>>87128111
Tarkovsky, he even concluded his post with it.

>>87100574
nice

>>87100574
Goat

>>87108283

severly underrated

>>87127895
FUCK OFF (and also die)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-hm2B1YHLQ

>>87104854
the proud lord said

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>>87102426
>>87102464
Zoomed words

>>87103011
Bane dies and Batman learns he was really his father

Will someone make a film out of this thread?

>Movie opens with a black screen
>you can only hear the sound of screams carried away by the noise of a plane going down, air rushing fast as it plummets
>crash noise
>open to black and white wide shot of the burning, crashed wreckage of the plane
>as the camera slowly zooms into the twisted flaming remains, you start hearing characters talking, as if reliving their last memories
>the exchange between CIA, Masketta Man and Pavel plays in the back, the shot grows closer and closer to the wreckage
>as the camera zooms in and the voices speak, you begin discerning a dying man a few feet away from the plane, as if he had tried to crawl away before succumbing to his wounds
>just as the dialogue reaches the line "They were trying to grab your prize, the Masked Man." you finally get to a closeup of the dying character looking up at the sky
>It's CIA
>he whispers out his last dying words, eyes fixed to a point in the sky
>"Bane."
>cut to a PoV shot from his eyes which reveals he is looking at a big plane flying away and disappearing in the distance as his vision blurs
>fade to black

Need one by Raimi.

>dark close-up shots of CIA putting his clothes on
>doors open to the hangar, dramatically revealing CIA and the plane, which is a very obvious phallic symbol
>jeep rocks up with Dr Woodrue and the hostages
>”Hi dr Woodrue, I'm CIA!”
>”they work for the new villain in town, broke into the Gotham Mueseum, turned the security guards into blocks of ice!”
>”new villain...Bane? Bane of humanity!”
>they get on board
>”don't wait up smee”
>”I'll cancel the pizzas!”
>penis plane takes off

>”the flight plan I just faxed to the elephants lists me, maimen and dr woodrue, but only one of you!”
>opens the door and holds the first guy next to it
>”30,000 feet! Your heart will freeze, and beat no more!”
>suddenly, “BANE!”
>CIA turns around, pulls the hood off the big guy
>It's Bane (Jeep Swenson)!
>”if I push that button, will you die?”
>”BANE!”
>CIA shrugs and presses the button
>Bane's veins fill with venom and he mutates into huge brute
>breaks the handcuffs with ease
>“BANE!”
>punches CIA across the plane with cartoony sound effects
>horrible fight scene drowned in gaudy colours ensues
>”BOMBS!”
>tail of plane blows off
>wreckage brother surfs to the ground on some of the wreckage
>”cowabunga!”

>Bane puts on a jetpack, grabs Dr. Woodrue, takes off
>CIA, still alive, screams in rage
>NOOOOOOO!”
>plane crashes with no survivors

>>87130604
This can't be happening, give me one chance!
Pizza's late, don't worry, no charge for it.

CIA: "If I pull off the mask, will you gas the kikes?"
Bane: "It'll be extremely chinky."
CIA: "You're a big nigger."
Bane: "For faggots."
*9 minutes of planes crashing into the twin towers and people jumping out and splattering all over the ground*

Really?

>>87130604
>CIA: If I exterminate all niggers, will you die?
>Bane: It would be extremely painful…
>CIA: You’re a big black guy.
>Bane: … for you.
>CIA: Was getting caught part of your plan?
>Bane: Of course.
>CIA: What’s the next step of your master plan?
>Bane: Crashing western countires… with no white survivors!
It surely was a different time.

Bousman & Zdunich "CIA! No Survivors Opera"

Out in the fields by the plane stands a figure.
No one really knows his name for sure.
Stands with arms on his belt, stoickly waiting,
Pray he never flies on a plane with you.
Two silent men in a jeep driving closer,
Bringing Dr Pavel and friends to the plane.
He will fill a flightplan with the agency
Second the moment he hears about Bane!

Smee & Maimen: CIA! CIA!

>>87101613
Sounds kind of like Jarmusch to be honest

>>87109403
>>87104002
You guys do realize Refn has made other films than Drive, right?

>>87118521
Good luck with that. You would need a very good impersonator.

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>pitch black screen, we hear just loud wheezes
>suddenly, a loud gunshot
>the hood is pulled off Bane, we're seeing everything from his POV
>in front of him is CIA, behind him is a few dozen goons in business attire and packing guns
>CIA kicks down a body with a hole in his head out of a plane
>"You're next!" he says with a terrible accent that sounds like an Irish guy trying to imitate a Russian guy speaking English
>CIA points his gun right in Bane's face, we see a smoking barrel up close
>everything goes in slow mo for a second as Bane's plane crashes into CIA's
>a song by Biting Elbows start playing
>Bane swiftly breaks his handcuffs and punches CIA, who lost balance, in the face
>by now two planes are plummeting to the ground and falling apart. Bane refuses a parachute offered to him by one of his goons with a gesture
>the goon, a homeless-looking dude played by the director, gets shot in the back of a head by one of CIA's well-dressed men. Jumping around and making sure that the viewers see how there's almost no ground to stand on, Bane disarms one of the shooters and engages in a firefight with the rest of them while his mercenaries parachute the fuck out
>after a few minutes of intense non-stop action, he catches CIA who locked himself in what's left of the pilot's cabin and strangles him with his own belt, then surfs on his body to soften the fall

>shortly after release of the film we get to see a Making Of video where all of the above turned out to be a practical effect with people crashing and getting thrown out of real planes

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Holy fuck, there I am, planning to leave /tv/ beabause of the insufferable got infestation, and then this thread happens

>>87132525
Nice