What is /tv/ verdict on the Witch?

it's shit

vvitch*

>>87077851
pleb filter, and if >>87077906 is any indication it's still working perfectly

Kino

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i wanted her to fuck the goat

Kino

I liked it.

Pure kino, one of those movies where I unironically believe haters aren't intelligent enough

>being afraid of things that don't exist
how can anyone get into a movie like this?

>>87077933
sup reddit

>>87078087
99% of stuff doesn't really exist anon.

>>87078087
>not understanding the fear of the unknown.

>>87078120
I like that nihilism boi.

>>87077851
very enjoyable, excellent flick

>>87078061
this

>>87077933
>>87078106
you both need to go back

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>>87077851
wtf was Black Phillip's problem?...

>>87077851
not my cup of tea, but it had nice cinematography
also
>that ending
sloosh

Only white people get spooked by this movie. It bored me.

Goats are scary af when they look at stuff and make eye contact omg. such goat tension scenes

>I cannot write my name.
>I will guide thy hand.

That whole scene made my skin crawl.

>>87077851
Boring. None of tension matters because it's impossible to give a shit about uneducated 17th century redneck holy rollers. The goat speaking at the end was pretty great though, probably the best outburst of sudden laughter I've had in a theatre in a long fucking time.

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>>87077851

it's mostly agreed to be kino around these parts

it was impossible to understand their old as cracker english so i had no fucking clue what they said nor what was happening.

shitty pretentious flick that people tell others they like to appear smart. See:
>>87079650
>>87078061
>>87077933

>>87079987
I hated those children so much.
>"I can't remember my prayer."
Your dad is literally reciting it just say what he says. I still can't tell if they're legit being assaulted by witches or just being little cunts because they think it's all a game. Either way I'm glad they died.

》》87080233
can we all agree that Anya has a great ass

>>87078176
it's solipsistic, you idiot

>>87080510
body double

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>>87077851
I dunno but I thought it was okay. Better than any other horror movie released in the past 10 years or so. Also please note my repeating digits.

Everything was top notch except the plot. Needed less forced drama, and better suspense/driving force for the plot.

>>87077851
Best horror film of the 2010s

>>87077851
i watched it late night by myself while it was raining outside with some wine under thick blankets and having taking a fat shit just before i started. was super kino and just a very enjoyable contented watch

>>87080233
mud monkey

>>87077851
The atmosphere is very good and the customes and sets look really good too, but the story is very unfocused and the movie rightly should be critizied for that.

My favorite part is when their crops are infected and the entire film is a hallucination in the main characters mind

>>87083957
>the devil is not real guys, its actually all in their head

I pity the people who don't see the wonders of this world or the next.

>>87084075
>everything is so metaphorically kino I intentionally ignore all the intentional shit the director put in the film
Fucking pleb

>>87084075
I pity the fool

>>87077851

truest horror kino

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>tfw no witchfu

>>87077851
A masterpiece.

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>>87077906
>>87079935
>>87080233

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it was boring, /tv/ memed me into watching it and literally nothing happened

Too fuckin quiet.

Deliciously.

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Another no-burn horror flick. There is nothing remotely visually interesting about this film. The only thing approaching compelling, was the Witch's Sabbath at the very end.

I want more visceralness in my horror. I want to see blood and guts. There is nothing horrific about any of the deaths in this film. The worst thing is, it was probably one of the better horror flicks of the 2010s, but honestly, the competition is not intense when you're going up against reboots, no-burn horror like the Babadook, or generic PG-13 horror films a la James Wan.

I lament the fact that the """torture porn""" genre was so thoroughly maligned in the 2000s, because the "ghost' movies that are dominating horror are so milquetoast and devoid of any visceral fear(besides some jump scares). The resentment and anger of the post-9/11 has been refunneled into corporate ghost shit where the same tired tropes are spoonfed to you at pg-13.Literally how the fuck are people are afraid of ghosts/demons/spirits? If you've seen one ghost movie, you've seen them all. At least when you get some kills on screen, you occasionally get to see something new.

Thank God that if I wanted to watch a film about Hell, at least I can pop in The Beyond or City of the Living Dead.

>>87077851
It's good.

>>87080233
>I didn't pay attention to any of the literature or history classes I was forced to take in grade school: the post

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>>87084619
>>87084779
>>87085884
look at these plebs

>>87077851
would have made a decent 30min short, there was not enough material for a full length
it dragged on for too long and the quality dwindled

>>87085977
Save you shitty /tpg/ memes for the general, and don't trip over yourself to defend this dull movie.

If I wanted to watch an artistic period piece, I'd just pop in Heaven's Gate.

>>87085884
I agree a more visceral approach could make it more interesting. I'm usually not interested in gross-out horror but displaying the devil's wickedness by making the deaths truly evil would make it far more genuine

My IQ has been clinically assessed as in excess of 170. I have read the entire Western Canon with much sampling from the East. I have watched several thousand films, probably about 10,000. I make my living as an intellectual, working as a professor in academia at a top university. I have published numerous critical articles in the field of literature, and my second book just entered gallies. While film criticism is by no means my specialization, I can say unequivocally, speaking as a genius with a deep appreciation of the Arts, that "The Witch" is a good movie, and that anyone who dislikes it likely does so from a lack of intelligence or culture, probably both. Thank you.

>>87085884
>>87086047
You can pop in my penis in your mouth