ITT: Times you acted like Larry David

Larry did nothing wrong.

The episode when his sleeves ends where not hard anymore XD

I ate a bagel yesterday

>>86934675
Every time I have a social interaction.
I'm LITERALLY him except for wanting to kms.

When I accidentally put my semen in my friends' guacamole

>>86934675
I fucked an anti-semite once.
[Spoiler]I'm (((Jewish)))[/spoiler]

One time my friend was showing me pictures of his new baby girl and I couldn't even fake interest I had to tell him I don't give a a shit

>>86934675
One time I had to endure a mildly inconvenient social interaction and my reaction to it was extremely overblown resulting in my friend's Jewish wife berating me

>>86939337
based

>>86939392
Larry is that you

>be me last week
>go to pick up some keys from my university
>3 service windows, each taking between 5-10 minutes to get people their keys
>about 15 people in line
>directly in front of me in line 2 female undergrads
>stand in line irritated because i know i'm going to be there for at least half an hour
>dumb thot stands in line behind me
>starts making retarded hand gestures to the 2 in front
>they invite her to cut me in line
>without looking up from my phone i say "i don't think so"
>three retards stand around dumbfounded

>>86939593
the chat and cut. classic

>>86939593
Fucking kek

milk and cawfeee

>in the supermarket
>buying some packs of beer, meat and garlic bread for a barbecue
>go to the regular check out lane
>my turn
>cashier looks at my stuff and says "is that all? why didn't you use the fast check out lane?"
>"well, I have 24 cans of beer, meat and bread, it's over 15 items"
>"oh, but we count the packs as one item"
>"what? that's bullshit"
then we argued for 5 minutes

>>86939593
lmao

>>86940873
That's just you being retarded.

>>86941292
This. A pack of hotdogs isn't 10 separate items. It's a ONE item.

>>86939337
I always tell people all babies are ugly and if they're lucky theirs will stop being ugly at some point in life.

>>86939593
his name? albert einstein

SELF HATING JEW

>>86941419
Hotdogs aren't sold individually. You buy 10 or gtfo

>>86941419
Says who, the packaging company? Ten hotdogs is ten hotdogs, they only make you believe it's a single item so that they only have to put on one barcode

>>86941609
So how many items is a box of Wheaties?

>>86934675
I promised an entire countries youth free college once

>>86941879
Beats me I never buy wheaties

>>86941885
kek'd
also
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nn4tP7ogWIA

>>86940873
LD is not that stupid

>>86941609
An assembly is one item. A car is one item that consists many items

>>86939337
this bpd chick showed me a picture of her newly born little sister like right when it came out and it had it's eyes open and was all red and everything and I told her it looked unsettling. she got mad at me told me it's cute and that the way I'm talking is the reason she wants to kill herself.

>>86939337
>>86941470
>>86944008
>Things that never happened for 500, Alex.