THE WHEEL OF TIME IS BEING MADE INTO A TELEVISION SERIES

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>>86906503

I just hope the sranc don't look too fake

>>86908099
Wow that's based on an old meme. Really old.

>>86908099
JEJ

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> Sony Pictures

If I care, I'll be crushed once I see it.

>>86909056
>Shit books get a shit adaptation
Why would you be surprised? Sony TV is usually actually really good. Includes shit like Deadwood

>muh chosen one

laziest cliche of all time

>>86909286
>implying cliches are bad
>implying an author shouldn't appeal to the widest possible audience
>implying you've read Poetics
>implying WoT doesn't explicitly utilize cliche usage as a meta device
>implying you've even read WoT
>implying you understand Masonic themes

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>Sony

>>86909286
I agree, and if it was translated to a tv series, it would probably suck
but jordan was clearly aiming for something mythological rather than realistic. it's all over the books.

>>86909401
>fan of genre fiction trying to posture
grow up, kiddo

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>>86909423
good webm

>>86909503
I too remember when Beowulf was filled with teen angst over whether he preferred a blonde, a brunette, or a redhead and being sad they all thought he was a dumb woolhead.

>>86909503
>jordan was clearly aiming for something mythological
True, but in point of fact the series was written by a guy named Brandon Sanderson who also wrote Mistborn and Ender's Game.

>THE WHEEL OF TIME IS BEING MADE INTO A TELEVISION SERIES

Cool!

>Rafe Judkins, who has written for Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Chuck, and Hemlock Grove, will write and executive produce.

..O-oo-oh..

>>86909401
>>implying WoT doesn't explicitly utilize cliche usage as a meta device
Hanging a lantern on their plot armor with ta'veren doesn't make it any more interesting to read.

>>86909595
WoT is the bottom of the genre fiction barrel at that. There's far better epic fantasy out there.

>>86909786
That never happens in the series. You're just projecting your own teen angst on to the events which occur. Wow, you're a really pathetic person. I bet you've never even read these incredible novels, you're just posting based on memes you absorbed. Wow.

>>86909827
Fake news from poseur academia scum
You probably also believe global warming is real and caused by humans and that the moon landings occurred

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is this the only likeable woman character

>>86910049
Nah, that was Min. The one that everyone talks about looking and acting like a man. James Rigney had issues.

>>86910245
Jim Rigney killed (on record) over 1,223 VC. You're posting shit about him on an imageboard when he's dead and can't do anything about it now. Rethink your life, civilian.

>>86910305
Him killing over 1,000 gooks means he's good with women?

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>>86910049
this desu senpai

though I wish Aviendha or Min would reach similar levels of overall usefulness and power

instead we get Elayne complaining that her bath water is getting cold as she inspects Andoran tax records...

>>86910927
>instead we get Elayne complaining that her bath water is getting cold as she inspects Andoran tax records...
AMERICAN TOLKIEN

Read the first 3 books then I got in the period i get into every now and then when I have stop reading for awhile.

I suppose it would be a good time then to reread the first three and the other 10-11 books

>>86906503
>Sony Pictures

Automatically guaranteed to be complete fucking crap.

Thread over.

I know the show will never actually come out, but I like these threads.

>>86906503
It's going to be shit. It's not being made by HBO or Starz. Just look at the Sword of Truth & Chronicles of Shannara. That's what you'll get.

>>86911582
The first three books are by far the best, you quit while you were ahead.

>>86911842
HBO is no longer a guarantee of quality either. Weird how Starz and even Showtime are surpassing it these days.

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>>86911842
I'm ok with them making aes sedai like this.

>>86911842
SoT delivered on waifus and fetishes, it was more then we could have hoped for

>>86912952
I'll only watch this show if Nynaeve is actually turned into a horse furry and ridden by Moghedien. Well, that or maybe if they go all in on the bimbofication of Morgase and pretend it's a feminist statement.

>>86910697
they can't all have been men, anon

>>86906503
>Larry mondragon
>red eagle
I mean come the fuck on, what is it with these people and fake aliases?

>>86910305
is there an actual gubment site that keeps that kind of stats? id love it if RJ killed that many VC's

>>86909954
And I bet you voted for Hillary, cuck scum.

>>86909867
>wow
>wow
wow

>>86917011
Crossroads of Twilight, everybody.

>>86906503
>wheel

its actually a flat circle
not a wheel

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>>86917779

>>86910245

Min was a plot device and cocksleeve for Rand, she wasn't an actual character.

>>86918497
>dresses like a man, forcing Rand to be gay
>gives Herid Fel blueballs every day until he's ripped to shreds by a gholam, still unsatisfied
>handy with knives so you KNOW she's been around
>can't even channel
Min is worst girl

>>86906503
>Rafe Judkins
>Sony
This has got to be one of those Monkey's Paw wishes gone wrong.

>>86918755
>forcing rand to be gay
You wat now? that makes no sense

>>86915635
Will 'Larry' survive?

>>86918755
>dresses like a man
I remember way too many scenes where characters force her to dress girly and she rants about how much she hates it, some of them made me think Jordan was probably writing it with one hand.

>>86919333
Every time you admire a tomboy you move a notch to the right on the kinsey scale

>>86919382
I would call her Elmindreda every time I saw her and also open doors for her and throw my coat over puddles just to piss her off. Fuck, I hate Min

>>86919389
Ok so you'd never fuck a girl wearing jeans? You've got problems m8

>>86910049
Nynaeve and Moiraine a best!

>>86911842
>>86912014
What has Starz done that's near HBO quality?

>>86919538
I'd rather watch Ash vs Evil Dead than Insecure

>>86919445
Depends on the cut of jeans. Min seems like the sort who would be covered in tattoos and piercings too, would not bang

>>86918497
There are only three female characters in WoT repeated endlessly.

>>86918755
>>86919389
Faggot. Best is forcing tomboys to act really girly. Imagine negging Min until she wears the biggest frilliest princess dress in Elayne's wardrobe and is totally miserable but has to pretend to be happy about it.

>>86919795
Return to gentle repose, Jim Oliver.

>>86909809
Well we got a pair of jew goblins with GoT and it still turned out alright in the first three seasons, so maybe there's hope

>>86915635
>>86919363
I think the Wheel of Time show is just a money laundering scheme tbqh

>>86919384
did this happen in one of the books I didn't read? And was Nynaeve supposed to be that stacked?

>>86915635
>>86919363
>>86920009
May Seda, who totally really existed, rest in peace eternally

>>86919417
>just to piss her off.
She'd be pissed but you'd also be turning her on. Are you prepared for that?

>>86920060
I turn on women and gays I don't want to bang every time I take off my shirt at the beach. Doesn't matter to me.

>>86921292
Well turning her on might make her more pissed off I guess.

>>86920009
hmmmmmmmmmm

>>86920009
I think Larry mandragon will fight Derek mandored for control of the company

Who likes Wheel of Time? Is it illiterates? Is it women? Is it refugees? Is it black people? Is it transgenders? Is it otherkin? Is it nonstop party people? Is it homeless? Is it librarians? Is it middle schoolers? Is it Europeans? Is it the developmentally challenged? Is it freemasons? Is it tiny little dogs? Is it LDS elders? Is it betas? Is it otaku? Is it beaten-up victims in hospital beds? Is it moms and dads? Is it practitioners of the art of magic? Who likes this? What is WoT's demographic?

>>86922232
Teenagers, people nostalgic for their teenage years, and people that never grew out of them.

Is it just me or is Roger Zelazny's The Chronicles of Amber a much better version of The Wheel of Time?

>>86922522
It's a much better series but I don't see anything much in common between the two.

>>86918078
What happens if you DO balefire yourself tho?

>>86922541
I only read as far as The Great Hunt. Are the portalstones not a significant plot element?

>>86922967
>Are the portalstones not a significant plot element?
No.

>>86923023
Well, damb. I wish I could delete my post.

I really wish I could delete my stupid fucking post. Fuck.

>>86923044
Well, you can't. Ever. You even have dubs commemorating this post lamenting it.

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>>86921488
>>86921766
>>86922522
>>86922544
>>86923044
>>86923077

>>86922544
what happens if you balefire a guy then another guy balefires you?

>>86923228
last balefirer standing survives

>>86920035
nye is short and busty, Lan got /bestgirl/

>>86923299
Bestgirl was Lanfear knocked down a notch in her ridiculous new bimbo body.

>tfw you will never find the out and out fetish porn you're sure Jordan secretly wrote at one point

>ywn have a foursome with Min, Aviendha and Elayne

>>86923345
A girl for every fetish. Rand was a lucky man

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>tfw no thicc forsaken gf

>>86923370
Aviendha is mai waifu

>>86923337
cydane is 2nd best, give you that, just that pesky insanity issue

>no lanfear yandere gf

>>86923422
Crazy girls are the best in bed plus give you the fantasy that you can change her and heal your broken bird waifu then rule the world together

>>86923337
Speaking of Jordan's secret writings,
>I ghostwrote a novel: an international thriller that shall remain nameless. It's not a bad book, but it is generally believed that somebody else wrote it... so we'll let it go at that.
http://www.archive.org/download/DragonCon_2005__Robert_Jordan/RobertJordan.mp3

Does ANYONE know which successful international thriller this guy may have ghostwritten?

>>86923467
Da Vinci code.

>>86923463
I like the way you think, gotta sever her from the True Power tho, only way nurse her back to health

wonder how they'll pronounce Nynaeve

>>86923531
>no stilled sad broken former megalomaniac waifu ashamed of her body
it hurts

>>86923467
Bourne, or Clancy

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>>86909056
>>86909423
I know Sony has however many different production studios, but at least when a movie starts and I see pic related its usually pretty good.

>>86923228
Since you get burned out of the pattern of existence, the balefired person stays un-existed.

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>>86907684
Extremely underrated post

>>86923548
that's going to fuck me up, it'll be like with ice and fire where the show isn't at all like what I had since i never listened to the audio books

>>86923551
diamonds life is suffering, actually had a real life version or close to, ah well couldn't deal with the crazy in the end

>>86923614
>actually had a real life version or close to,
Only counts if she was somehow forced to get a boob job against her will

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>>86923496

>>86923614
Imagine her knowing you found her new body incredibly sexy but despite loving you she only felt degraded by it, like she was just a sex toy and not your lover. For purely lit kino reasons of course.

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All I want is a Vlad Taltos miniseries and itll never happen. Or a The Black Company adaptation that feels like Valhalla Rising

Why cant I be fourteen again and spend hours at the public library picking out fantasy books based on how cool the cover is.

>>86923645
I considered it, my brother actually did with his high school gf then dumped her, it was harsh but funny, so I couldn't bring myself to make her do it, could've tho

>>86923576
what if i balefire a balefire stream which is balefiring another guy's balefire stream then someone balefires my stream and his stream is balefired and then he himself is balefired at the same time that "another guy" is balefired

>>86923735
>my brother actually did with his high school gf then dumped her,
This is both really hot but also sad because it's real. I hate sad boners.

>>86923740
balefire streams crossing each other create all sorts of wacky high-jinks, didn't read further

>>86923740
Bfys.

>>86923755
also fucked her ass while she cried and was recovering from surgery also on her period, he liked to brag, in a sad guilty kinda way, hope that helps

>>86923817
jesus this is the most confusing boner I've ever had. What's wrong with your brother?

>>86923896
good question, it was a different time

>>86923731
>based on how cool the cover is
you were fucking up from day one desu

>>86924123
This. best fantasy series I ever read had the most idiotic covers I've seen. I only read because of word of mouth.

>>86924123
If books aren't to be judged based on their covers then why is cover artistry a profession? Hmm? Answer that, idioticcoversfags

>>86924289
why is wine tasting one of the highest paid professions? why do bloggers get paid? why is time a flat circle? life is a mystery

>>86924341
Look, I picked out The Great Hunt from the library because it had black people in animal helmets and a man with long ears and that's what I wanted to read about. Don't judge me

>>86923337
>tfw you will never find the out and out fetish porn you're sure Jordan secretly wrote at one point

You mean his Conan novels?

How will they do this?
To even summerize it would have to be like 10 seasons

>>86924436
if you never learned to read the synopsis, or maybe even the prologue, then idk, you dumb

>>86924510
What fetishes does he cover in those?

>>86924523
The books have so much filler you could cut 80% of it and notice no difference.

>>86924542
Dude, synopses lie. They always lie about the content of the book. It's like marketing or something. Fake news

>>86920035

>And was Nynaeve supposed to be that stacked

Why do you think Lan fell for such a naggy cunt?

>>86924560

I don't remember much, but there is a scene where a slave princess, who is wearing nothing but scraps, begs for Conan to buy her at the slave market.

>>86924560
The so-called "filler" in Jordan's WoT is marbled with fat chunks of foreshadowing such that it cannot be elided without damaging the story.

>series where all the magic is either invisible or Avatar-tier fireworks everywhere

this will end well

>>86924589
>Why do you think Lan fell for such a naggy cunt?
Lack of other options? Every woman in the series is a naggy cunt to one degree or another.

>>86924587
>synopsis lie
>but covers don't
uh huh, anyway read the prologue/ first chapter, something, damn

>>86924610
That's pretty tame compared to WoT's implications

>>86924614
You're shitting me. What 16,000 pages of content was Crossroads of Twilight foreshadowing?

>>86924683
CoT is the bad one, it just is, I guess Verin is set up a bit, CoT sucks

>>86924811
>CoT is the bad one
It was just the logical conclusion of the course the series had started on by book four. Only a literal death sentence put things back on track.

>>86924837
knife of dreams put it back on track, if Jimmy had lived a bit longer we would have gotten the real ending too

>>86924876
>knife of dreams put it back on track
yes and why do you think it was so different?

>>86924898
Cause RJ was getting everything back on plot?

>>86924944
Why the sudden hurry?

>>86924589
You take that back, nigger. Nyn was the best girl.

>>86924997
?

>>86925033
I'm saying he only got it back on track because he found out he was dying and wanted to try to finish while he was able. If he hadn't, he'd have milked it for another two decades.

>>86925014
>You take that back, nigger. Nyn was the best girl.
It could certainly be argued that in the special olympics that is a WoT miss congeniality contest, Nynaeve wins. For what that's worth.

>>86925048
>where to settle?
Somewhere in Civ 4.

>>86925114
;^)

>>86925069
Nah, he announced that that AMoL was coming early, around when WH was released, it was building, obviously AMoL would never have made only one book, but if he had lived it would have been only 3 maybe 4 more, just would've taken longer to come out

>>86925088
Nynaeve was the only woman in the series without ulterior motives or bullshit plotting, she just wanted to protect the kids from her village and she never asked for fame or recognition for anything she did. Rand trusted her the most apart from maybe Moiraine for a reason.

>>86925244
>Nynaeve was the only woman in the series without ulterior motives or bullshit plotting,
One of the only ones sure, but she still behaved like a stuck up teenager. It would have been a lot more tolerable and maybe even endearing if almost every single other female character didn't act that way, tbf.

>>Sony Pictures

Idris Elba will play ALL parts

Won't even get past the first season, just like I couldn't get through the 4th book. No I don't fucking care about these 17 tertiary characters with similar names you're throwing at me at once. Fuck

>>86925805
This is one of the few adaptations where I hope they completely butcher the source material and cut as much as possible.

More garbage fucking "fantasy" series brought to the big screen huh

This shit series would have more gimmicks and quips than a superhero movie
It basically defined modern fantasy cliches

>>86925895
It's kind of weird. Stuff like ASOIAF was written as a direct reaction to this kind of fantasy. But it got adapted first, so now the formulaic crap might seem original purely for how profoundly stereotypical it unabashedly is.

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>>86919384
>>86920035
>>86924589

even the file name says its Moiraine, who is teasing innocent Siuan here before Gareth Bryne waifued her

>>86926041
Siuan looks a lot like Nynaeve in that pic.

so who is gonna play rand? The only actor who is 6'6 with shoulders as broad as an axe handle and ginger hair is carrot top

>>86926144
>Carrot Top has a love quadrangle with Snooki, Amy Schumer, and Zendaya with a red wig

>>86926041
why is she holding a cock ring?

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>>86926059
Siuan is supposed to have dark hair, Nynaeve is brunette

>>86927559
In American English brunette can refer to a woman with either black or brown hair.

>>86927559
>>86927624
brunette can mean brown or dark, it does not mean black tho

>>86928527
It does in American English.

well anyways, most Two Rivers people have either brown or dark hair