I want to _______ Moana

not watch the movie that stars

>>86883760
starve

The VA is seriously talented, all memes aside.

>>86883760
genocide

watch a sunset with

watch

>>86883760
>beat
the movie was utter trash.

>>86883760
remove focus from

colonize

>>86883760
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYsaUMc8jaM

go back in time and stop myself from wasting 2 hours watching

>>86883786
She did fantastic, was like 14 when they recorded all the songs

>>86883818
>>86883866
Sup contrarians

>>86883760
marry!

lynch

The voice actress is cute af

>>86884463
u have shit taste

>>86883818
It was okay. I don't really like the Lin Manuel Miranda song style. And there were a few indisputable moments of utter retardation like those "coconut pirates." I almost turned it off right then and there.

File: 1499308074401.jpg (122KB, 900x1200px) Image search: [Google]

122KB, 900x1200px

>>86884605
>Sixteen

The part with the crab ruined the movie for me

>>86885562
That was one of the best parts

>>86883760
share an age appropriate beverage with

>>86884931
if there's grass on the field, play ball

>>86884931
and?

>>86885562
It's a bathroom time part for adults. I can't believe that was Gemaine Clement, though.

>>86886719
She's got a pretty nice body

>Hug

Seriously though this has to be the best Disney princess movie (of the new age, nothing beats Snow White). It sure as hell beat the shit out of frozen. Tangled was good but I think this has the better story of two people needing each other's help. Tangled was about a clueless girl and the guy who was babysitting her. Also the songs in this movie are very upbeat and motivating and I like that in my princess movies

>>86883760
>I want to "visit that alternate universe where Moana (2018) wasn't a rush job trying to cash in on the princess fad Frozen somehow managed to create" Moana

>>86886918
I agree. Best thing Disney has made since the renaissance

>>86887026
The one thing I am happy about this movie is my niece likes it more than frozen which is good. I really don't like frozen and it's bull shit story. And they're making a frozen 2 just to capitalize on the marketing

>>86886918
>>86887105
How exactly do internet-inept second-wave feminists find themselves on /tv/, anyways?

>>86887105
Whats wrong with the message of frozen? I thought it was a refreshing take on the importance of family, in an age where friendship is vastly overrated.

>>86887170
My boyfriend told me about this sight and I'm a huge cinefile. Putting up with you losers is fine as long as I have someone to talk to about a good show or movie

>>86887251
Next you should ask your boyfriend to help you improve your mastery of the English language coz damn gurl, them word replacement errors.

mating press

>>86887219
The message wasn't about family. The message was about men being evil and only women know how to do what's right. At least that's what I got out of it when my boyfriend kept saying hanz is being made to look like a major super villain, when all he was trying to do was unite the kingdoms

>>86887251
>this sight
and we're the losers? hmmmm

>>86887170
Reddit cross-pollination? Who knows.

The film was okay. It reminded me of a Ghibli film but with even less soul. I feel like it could've been a bit deeper and definitely wanted to be, but was pushed out to appease the diversity crowd and drum up toy sales.

>a full feature Disney film with Paperman's style will never come out at this point

>>86887251
>literally forced to talk to the scum of the internet to get anything slightly insightful
>spam board full of pedophiles and footfags just to get a decent opinion about a movie
>cannot find any half-decent movie discussion anywhere else on the entire pozzedweb
So...this is the power of...anon...ymity...

>>86887285
Sorry it's 3am by me and I'm doing this on my phone. I couldn't sleep so I figured I'd bullshit on this board with you guys. Maybe bait an argument or something

>>86883760
gas

>>86887336
>It reminded me of a Ghibli film but with even less soul
So you mean, they definitely were gearing up to pander to pedophiles but stopped halfway through unlike Ghibli.

>>86887322
It's 3am by me give me a break. I'm sorry I don't shit up this board with constant game of thrones threads all day every day

Have no opinion on

>>86883760
Sneed

AND THIS TAPESTRY UPON MY SKIN
IS THE MAP OF THE VICTORIES I WIN

Damn what a good job, I'm impressed with The Rock. Sad it had to be married to the character Disney was overcompensating on to try and prove they can do more than just the Disney face.

Seriously what the fuck was that anyways.

>>86887337
I mean yeah. Have you seen the tumblr pages for movies? Each one is worse than the last. He also showed me Reddit and everything was great but that site as soon as people knew I was lacking a penis they started acting like they've never met a girl before.

>>86887307
In my estimation it was about family. The whole part about an 'act of true love' was that it is implied by the audience that it had to be a romantic act by a suitor, when the truest love was that which her sister had for her. And Hans wasn't trying to unite the kingdoms, he was a usurper. The message was not about men being evil (kek), because Kristoff wasn't evil, the guards weren't evil, not even the Duke of Weaselton was really evil, just a businessman. The only really evil man in the movie was Hans.

>>86887415
>4chan handles women posting better than Reddit
Not sure if suicidal or just sad, also tits or GTFO.
Also fuck no why would I go to tumblr for anything other than to find more porn pages to scrape before Yahoo pulls the plug on them.

>>86887387
What are you even saying?

>>86886902
and?

>>86887387
It was true Polynesian characteristics. If you've ever been to Hawaii or Fiji you would know that the meant tend to look like that

>>86887365
I've only seen up to season 2 pls no spoil

>>86887453
>Yahoo pulls the plug on them.
yahoo owns tumblr? huh...

...really makes me think...

>>86887415
tits or gtfo

>>86887449
But it wasn't just family that provided love. In the beginning of the movie when the rocks were explaining it to her parents, and then her parents locked her away, I got mad because that wasn't showing her love that was showing her that she's dangerous.

File: 1476540501072.jpg (6KB, 300x168px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 300x168px

>>86887463
Don't speak English or haven't seen the movie?

>>86887474
I spent five weeks in Maui and no, they don't, that looks more abo than anything. The nose sure, the eyes set like that? Fuck no. They were just trying to avoid sameface complaints as they samefaced yet another "ethnically diverse" heroine.

>>86887491
It's another one of their ebin long-sighted purchases, bonus Yahoo now has a woman CEO running it into the ground even more, she keeps enacting various filtering and anti-porn things like a Christfag or some shit, and this is helping kill Tumblr even more while also triggering tumblrinas. Only downside is eventual porn loss, so get scraping kiddo.

Did I mention Yahoo Answers is an unmoderated meme haven now? Some really funny shitposters on there too.

>>86887365
hey-o! we're in the same time zone, wanna meet up? Are you in the northern or southern hemisphere?

>>86887453
>tits or gtfo
This is a blue board so that rule doesn't apply. As creepy as the people on this site* are, you guys can actually hold your own in conversations about almost any movie. I can make a post about a niceraguan romantic comedy( just an example I don't know any movies from that region) and someone at least one person would be able to have a conversation with me about it.

>>86887557
>Only downside is eventual porn loss, so get scraping kiddo.
fuck dude why did it have to be like this

where am i supposed to find my donut anused girl pics now?

>>86887580
top fckn kek

>>86887580
ill make it easy on you in from Chicago but I don't meet strangers from the internet. Especially from a Japanese quilting site that tells me tits or gtfo constantly

>>86887557
You got me there those eyes are pretty bad. But the rest of his characteristics are pretty good. They're so good in fact that people from the region got mad because they felt it described them too well

>>86887583
Yeah that's what I'm trying to impress upon you, that the social mores and value systems you're accustomed to are actually the same thing that's dampening the intelligence and individual thought of the general populace.

>>86887580
L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
N

>>86887642
hey bby wanna start a riot

>>86887679
I mean I would be mad, it's such an exaggerated caricature like some A. Wyatt Mann shit. Also MUH BODY POSITIVITY

>>86887607
IS THAT A SABRINA JO-JOS REFERENCE

>>86887708
I don't riot lol I have better things to do than get mad over stupid shit. If Disney made a movie about Slavs and the guy had a big forehead I would laugh.

>>86887708
Please be Orlando

>>86887848
>guy introduced squatting in an abandoned bunker
>perpetual squat, crab-scuttles around through whole movie
>tracksuit and nothing else
>bottle of "juice" perpetually in hand
>name: Chee Kibriki
FUND IT

>>86887883
Don't forget the references to smoking without actual smoking. Like the straw wouldn't stay in the juice he'd hold it in his hand or keep it in his mouth or somehing. And the story starts off with a young girl who has to turn off the reactor at Chernobyl

>>86887940
A young girl born from one of the old women who never left the Chernobyl area, who was pregnant at the time. A moving tale about a mutant cripple who learns the power of HEART and her unlikely friend Chee who overcomes his crippling fear of radiation and learns to Love The Bomb.

>>86887998
Lmao that would be the biggest flop ever. This board would probably be the only people who see it and it would be pirated or streamed to avoid the no single people at the theater rule

>>86888177
>get gf
>attend kinoplex
>Robert calls me out of the line
>what now...
>no manlet rule now in effect
>tfw 5'11"

>>86887583
>that rule doesn't apply
You don't understand the rule. other than that you're ok and should stick around t b h

On topic, this movie was a better remake of the original Star Wars than TFA was. Songs were not great and story overall could've used more interesting elements on top of the well-executed hero's journey. It looked exceptionally good and was a cool sendup of Polynesian culture. 8/10

>>86883760
get dubs on /tv/ while shitting, in a thread that starts with a pic of

>>86883760
make moana moan

COLONIZE

>>86883760
>>86889567
discover, strike up a mostly amicable relationship with, accidentally infect with horrific diseases, move in with and start teaching Christianity and Western science and culture to while I make use of her resources, convince to sign an exclusive development/trade/military deal with me, shortly thereafter force a constitution that favors me on the ruling class of, depose the new uppity queen who threatens my position over, petition for my government to take possession of (and get refused), form my own republic for a few years to rule over, finally get a more receptive US government to take possession of in 1900, station a ton of my military on, and finally grant full statehood and representation to in 1959

and then turn her into a pretty nice place to live and visit

>>86884931
The voice actress is actually cuter than the character she plays.

>>86884931
I want to make her Moana with my dick

>>86890052
Best post

File: nobeef.jpg (10KB, 302x300px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 302x300px

>>86883866
Moana, like all other movies of its kind, is absolute shit. Well animated, but shit. I agree on that.

However, people really need to stop shilling this poorly made review. He makes little to no attempt at backing up any of his statements.
>moana was weak as fuck
>It was very kinda bland and predictable
>I was hoping for it to be a lot more... uuuhhh
>I'd say it's about a 5 out of 10.
>*starts talking about frozen instead*
>I didn't like any of the songs
>Same typical Hawaiian shit you can't understand
>I really didn't like the look of the movie
>The crab song was fucking awful
>Mythology was weak
>*mentions frozen again*
>*mentions tangled*

The only point he bothered backing up is his criticism of the movie's look, and how the toy-ish designs clashed with the ethnic background.
The rest of his observations were either completely subjective or lacked any form of backing up/explanation.
Also I fucking hate listening to a reviewer who's every second word is "uhhh" "um" "sniff".

>>86886689
If there's rain the in the forecast, take cover.

Wait, what are we taking about anon?

>>86883760
gas

>>86883760
I will just leave this here.
http://www.hawaii.edu/PCSS/biblio/articles/2000to2004/2004-sexual-behavior-in-pre-contact-hawaii.html

>>86883760
I want to James Bond 007 Cheeseburger Moana.

File: 1501339821811.png (75KB, 325x244px) Image search: [Google]

75KB, 325x244px

>>86894142
Silently pound.
That's what I heard.

>>86894108
>Individuals of both sexes were expected to initiate and participate in coitus at puberty, although sexual activity, play, instruction, and so forth occurred much earlier.
Wew lad

>>86883760
Not baby moana?
/tv/ is getting tame...

>>86883760
hug

File: 1380839241103.jpg (58KB, 570x760px) Image search: [Google]

58KB, 570x760px

>>86883760
Deport

>>86884898
It was great. I fucking love the Lin Manuel Miranda song style!

File: 1377095823596.jpg (8KB, 115x163px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 115x163px

>>86895500
Those numbers tells the truth btw

Should've been about Maui's adventures. It's been, what, a decade since Disney's animation studios made a movie with an adult male lead.

>>86883760
BLACKED

>>86895618
>Why is a Disney princess movie starring a female lead

>>86895674

... what? That's not even remotely close to anything I said.

>>86884931
16+ is normal throughout most of the world.

>>86887170
you don't have to be a feminist to see how perfectly balanced moana is
she's a fucking stubborn idiot, sometimes gets saved, sometimes does shit by herself
who the fuck cares
your immediate jump to muh feminism makes you look like a fucking ape, fuck off

>>86895618
it'll be in the moana 2 where he gets snapped in half by hine nui tepo's vagina

File: Moana.webm (3MB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 1280x720px

>>86896721
She actually ate quite a bit of shit and fucked up a lot in the movie, it was pretty refreshing

>>86888888

>>86898320
Fuck off

>>86887336
>a Ghibli film but with even less soul.

are you implying that ghibli movies don't have enough soul?

>>86887363
Pander to pedophiles in what way?

>>86896721
Oh man I'm so scared people won't like me if I call out bullshit, oh nooo, oh man, what will I do if you don't like me saying thing, I'm so concerned.

>>86893473
>put it in greentext
>that means something
you're the kind of guy who says lol XD out loud

>>86902548
Quit shilling your godawful reaction videos you retarded attention whore, you're not supposed to respond to people who call you out on your shit, just makes you look worse.

P.S. this review was even worse than your Split one, kys

>>86902670
everything I said in both videos is correct and there's nothing you can do about it

>>86902762
>everything I said in both videos is correct and there's nothing you can do about it
HAHAHAHAHAAHAH

>>86893527
How in the fuck is this girl only 16?

>>86903816
>quoting me refutes anything
laughable indeed

>>86904572
Good genetics