ITT: /tv/ writes an Alien movie one line at a time.

EXT. SPACE

>>86834040
bonus

wheat

>>86834072
situation

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Hans Zimmer's updated score begins to resound eerily as the camera pans through the darkness and past stars. It catches up with a hulking spacecraft, so enormous it looks as though it might contain an entire town within.

CHYRON (GREEN AND FLICKERING): 5077 - AMADEUS COLONY VESSEL - WEYLAND YUTANI

A beat as the camera comes closer to the craft's exterior.

Across the bottom of the screen: 1,000 passengers journey to a sanctioned planet to establish a colony. Little do they know, one of them carrie the heart of a xenomorph.

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*sounds typically associated with gaseous excretions*

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Who planted this wheat here?

>>86834276
Cut to interior cabin
Pickle Rick stares out a porthole at the vastness of space

Pan downward to a lunar nudist colony

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>>86834040

Suddenly, Bane-Xenomorph come out of the wheat

>"Perhaps he's wondering why one would plant wheat before killing human life forms," said Bane-Xenomorph

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>>86834946
XENO?

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>>86834927
>(they never come down here)

But if you're gay and I'm black THEN WHOS FLYING THE SHIP?!?!?

>>86834289
hnghhhhhhhh

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Alex Jones crashed his ship into the hull. He appears through the smoke with a M60 and without a shirt

Cheque please!

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA DANIELS HELP MEEEEEEEEEE

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Guys the next alien film is looking pretty great. Top notch visual effects.

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>Who are you
I'm ur mum

>>86835054
>They run into the cockpit
>It's a giant carnivorous plant

The plant feeds a few crewmembers it's seeds, and then brutally sucks and fucks them.