Sansa, did I ever tell you about my time at Harrenhal before it was off the table? I was prisoner there for a while along with my friend Hot Pie – a grotesquely obese boy though the land was gripped by war and famine. I encountered many of our family’s enemies during my stay there. Gregor Clegane, Tywin Lannister…even that Petyr Baelish was there conducting deceptions and machinations but I’m sure he’s on the level now. I saved the life of a Faceless Man™ and, in return, he promised to kill any 3 people I wanted. I could have assassinated Tywin Lannister by saying his name or even simply poisoning the wine I served him every day. I could have had Joffrey killed for executing our father and other unsavory actions. Instead, I chose two nobodies and made the selfish decision to save myself instead of helping our brother Robb – costing him the war as well as his head! He was a good king.
Anyway, you wrote a letter that one time so I’m going to slice your face off for betraying our family.