>characters has sex >rests straight after intercourse without

>characters make sex
>no exchange of money beforehand

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alright fine I'll do it

>Character has sex at all

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>characters have sex
>it's consensual

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>>86562264
>character can get erection without use of viagra

>>86562804
Hmmmm

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>>86562264
>guy ejaculates
>doesn't immediately go to take a piss to clean the pipes

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>character has sex
>maintains his erection throughout

>character has sex
>goes in immediately dry and doesn't even have his dick hard

>character has sex
>isn't immediately disgusted by the whore after cumming

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>girl rides guy vigorously in cowboy position
>guy isn't fucking terrified of her slipping off and snapping his dick in half

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>>86562264
>character faps alone in their room to fucked up porn on a friday
>this is there life going on 30+ years

why? just think about it, they probably sit on the toilet to do w/e. THEN you go and sex her, but her ass cheeks have bacteria from the
toilet seat. (now your bed sheets are dirty as fuck, your hands are covered in microbic shit from the toilet and who knows what the fuck else)
[this is the best case scenario where she hasnt even had another dink in her, don't get me started on that]
FUKN GROCE, this is why you shouldn't get one and be glad you don't

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>>86563350

>>86563079
gees this. same with the girl

>>86563350
dicklets btfo

>>86563079
>guy ejaculates
>doesn't immediately piss the bed to clean the pipes while remaining comfy

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>>86562264
>characters have sex
>no carpet cleaners are called

>>86563613
If the dick is small the girl wouldn't even go up and down she'd just do that shitty grinding move and there'd be zero risk

>>86563702
I didn't know that. Probably because I don't have small dick

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>character comes
>uses tissues to clean up instead of simply pinching his foreskin and casually walking to the toilet to dump the cum-poach

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farted in panties

>>86563759
My fwb told me that, with regards to her be who she's cucking

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>character fucks a woman
>doesn't stab her to death as he cums inside her dying pussy

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>Characters have sex
>Nobody cries

>>86563774
this method is actually very efficient if you haven't saved up a week's load

>>86563350
>cowboy
it's cowgirl you fucking homo

>>86563856
Good news is I'm not gay
Worse news is I'm a phoneposter

>>86562264
me and gf always do this. thats why youre supposed to wash your sheets

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>>86563964
>sleeping with cum stained sheets

>>86562264
>hype
>based not getting up leaving 50 bucks on the dresser and walking out.

>>86563774
>Not jacking off straight into the toilet

>>86563856
Kek

>>86563350
I am always afraid of this. I usually won't let them if they are super aggressive about it.

>>86564116
Yeah it's the only reason I prefer doggy and cowgirl is my no. 2. If my dick was made of steel then I'd never do anything but cowgirl. Sucks to be constantly afraid or not let them do it, girl going wild on top is one of the best things ever but not worth the potential dicksnap

>>86564116
you should only worry if you are not fully hard and it's reverse

>characters start having sex
>guy doesn't call his bull to come over instead

>>86564116
>>86564221
>this is a genuine fear and not a meme
The fuck? How do you fall off on a bed? Do you fuck downey retards or something?
And even if they are that uncoordinated, you should be holding onto her hips/boobs anyway
Jesus christ

>>86564389
Tends to happen when you're with a girl who actually enjoys sex and isn't bored or a dead body

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>>86564389
>stopping a girl from sliding off your cock by frantically trying to hold her down by her tits

Wanna know how I know you're a virgin?

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>watching the americans

>spy wearing a wig gets to the point where he has had a whole sham relationship and marriage to some wench who still has not discovered he wears a disguise wig

>>86564389
>being this much of a virign

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>character has sex
>character is large black male and Stephen Colbert is smackin it in the corner

>>86564443
>>86564507
>>86564562
Am I being trolled? I can't tell
You hold her hips and guide her up and down on your dick, sometimes massaging her boobs. I literally don't understand how a girl can fall off your dick such that it might snap unless she's jumping from side to side like a retard on speed

>>86564626
cringe

>>86564592
must be gay sex cause colbert is obvously a fag

>>86564626
>I literally don't understand
Yes. Because you're a virgin

>>86563079
The only movie I can think of that does this is Chicago.

>>86564074
EZ mode

>>86564626
it's limpdicks who have this concern
viagra solves that problem. But you are still a faggot

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>>86564626
>You hold her hips and guide her up and down on your dick, sometimes massaging her boobs.

>>86564704
But I'm not? I had a healthy relationship for 15 months where we frequently did cowgirl with no issues. And even before that. When I lost my virginity we did cowgirl briefly and I was blackout drunk and still there was no fear.
Are you just shit at sex?

>>86563774
I usually cum into my palm and huck it into the toilet

>>86564742
If I was limpdicked then my dick wouldn't be able to snap, tard

>>86564796
Your dakimakura doesn't count as a relationship anon

>>86564844
>not licking up the cum to save water for children in africa

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>>86564626
Hmm, fancy a lovely breast massage while we copulate, m'lady?

>>86564626

Lmfao this nigga

>>86564931
Why am I being trolled for this? Are Americans really this uncomfortable with talking about sex?

>>86564626
I laugh more at this things than I laugh with shitposts, and I love shitposts.

>>86564868
If my cum didn't taste so bitter I would. How can I get it to taste better?

>>86564626
Yikes

>>86564981
No, as long as I'm talking to someone qualified. I would be extremely uncomfortable inviting a virgin into the 'inner circle of manhood' as it were, and revealing the secrets of intimacy to an outsider...

>character has sex
>when he's cumming he and his sister are not beheaded by guillotine controlled by dominatrix lady
my sexual expirience is based only on one manga, but even that is enough to understand how wrong movies portray sex

>>86565125
Still more experience than
>>86564626

Great, I hope you're happy /tv/
Now I feel insecure. I'm never talking about my sex life here again (this is obviously a lie but I do feel insecure now)

>>86564626
People with small dicks have a fear that the girl will bounce too high and land on their dick. That you have so many responses says a lot about the type of people that are browsing this thread

>>86565021
le pineapple

>>86563079
but that hurts

>>86565212
>not knowing that a larger dick encourages a girl to go harder and faster along the shaft, making penile fracture MORE likely

Another virgin has outed himself it seems.

>>86565158
jebuz crist what a faggot

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>>86564626

>>86565158
You should try to write about it on redit instead, I think they will be a lot more supportive my man!

>>86565299
Jokes aside, have you actually ever had sex? (And whales don't count, I mean genuine girls that normal people would be attracted to)

>>86565404
Yeah I wouldn't call someone else a virgin otherwise. Size has little to do with it, it's all about the girl's enthusiasm.

And no matter how big you are, you are NOT gonna be able to hold down a girl who is going way too hard and about to slip off.

It happens and it fucking hurts

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>>86564626
>massaging her boobs

>>86564116
>>86564221
this never happens outside of that one gif

>>86565756
It happens anon.

http://www.medicaldaily.com/reverse-cowgirl-responsible-most-cases-penile-fracture-west-global-guide-318936

>>86564626
just sneed my memes up desu

>>86564389
Not fall off the bed you dipshit, have your dick fall out of her bag and then have her land on it with her pub is, breaking your dick.

>>86564626
>>86566068
>Am I being trolled? I can't tell
>You sneed her feeds and guide her up and down on your chuck, sometimes massaging her feed. I literally don't understand how a girl can fall off your chuck such that it might snap unless she's jumping from side to side like a sneed on speed

>>86566173
k i n o

>>86566171
>have your dick fall out of her bag
Dick amputation seemed so hot in the heat of the moment. Fuck this degenerate fetish...

I need to get laid dessu

Autosaged ;_;