ITT: We write a script for this movie, one scene per post

>>86545652
>Opening Scene: Fierce Debate at Congress
>name calling can be heard
>a shoe is thrown
>suddenly large TV monitors atop the room turn on
>the squabbling dies down
>the screen reveals footage of moot jacking himself off
>congress laughs and mocks his micro dick
>freeze frame and record scratch on moot climaxing
>"Yup, that's me"

Directed by Fincher, Moot is played by Jesse Eisenberg.

>>86545796
>"Everything started several years ago, in university"
>Jump cut to large, serene university building surrounded by grass
>No, not that one
>Camera pans to reveal a large brown building in state of disrepear with a black man suspiciously looking like he's selling crack to two students

>then they kill themselves cause they're all huge fags
>roll credits

Armond White, Ben Garrison and Richard Stallman have a gay orgy scene.

>and this anime girl, you call her a- what was it, a waifu?
>heh, it'll never catch on
>2 years later

>Shot of a van exploding

>moot just got back from school
>moots parents are having a fight
>has been bullied for 3 years straight, mother drinks, father's disregard for his failing marriage starts to translate in violent mental abuse
>mother drinks more, tries and fails to adequately give her troubled son a decent upbringing
>moot tries to do good at school, wanting to escape the abyss that are his parents
>the bullying makes him skip school regularly
>he perseveres, but, to make matters worse, his only (afro-ame) friend becomes the victim of a hate crime

an anon already made a trailer for this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VNPiK2TXg0

it's a twelve hours long pseudo-intellectual arthouse schlock à la Malick where nothing happens, there's just a fat fuck in a dimly lit room sitting in front of his computer (seen from the perspective of the screen)
every once in a while he adjust himself on the chair to rip a fart

fin

>>86546161
Then the film changes focus, giving us a true detective like black neighbourhood overview
>we see the friend hook up with the wrong (gang related) slums
>he radicalizes, they care for him
>becomes some kind of errand boy
This story line actually becomes vital to the film when moot's already made it later with 4chan

Pitch me sth.

>>86546335
That's a horrible idea.

>>86546612
Adapt, break apart, pitch, whatever. This ks /tv, ain't it? On of the few anon message boards left without a point/registration system.

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>>86545796
>the squabbling dies down
>the screen reveals footage of moot jacking himself off

Moot's a bit older now, around 15. Shows him meet Snacks down at the arcade when he's skipping school one day.
They instantly get along due to their juvenile humour that no one else gets and love of south park and anime.
"Shame no one else gets our humour..."
"Are you kidding? There's this japanese site man..."

>After the conversation, they head over to a gun shop
>Moot slams the door shut
>"Show me yo-"
>Snacks beats up the seller with a baseball bat
>Both grab an AK
>Pumped Up Kicks starts playing

>Cut to school
>Panning shot of students namecalling and beating each other up
>Door opens, revealing Moot and Snacks with AK's in their hands

>all goes quiet
>finally Moot lets out a sly smile
>"WHOSE READY TO LEARN ABOUT GUN SAFETY!?"

>you're a big guy

>They start shooting
>Shot of a nigger getting shot on the kneecap
>Shot of some guy getting shot in the head
>Shot of a female getting shot in the stomach
>Panning shot of multiple people getting shot
>More shots of people getting shot
>This goes on for 5 minutes
>Finally, Moot and Snacks try to run out of the school
>Nigger who got his kneecaps shot off grabs Moot by the leg, causing him to fall
>2 minute fight between moot and the nigger, ending with moot winning
>Shot of Moot and Snacks running out of the front door and going into the woods
>Cops arrive

>Moot and Snacks look at each other out of breath
>"you what this means right?"
>"blood brothers"
>"blood brothers"
>they load up some loli hentai and have a circlejerk

>Cut to a shot of a man taking a shit
>It's shown in grotesque detail with several shots of the shit coming out of the man's anus
>The man is screaming and flapping his arms throughout
>When he's done, he screams to his mother for tendies, he pulls up his pants and leaves the room without wiping his ass
>The camera zooms in on the shit as it starts to move
>The shit starts growing and transforming
>It turns into Hiroyuki Nishimura
>He goes downstairs while the man who previously sat on the toilet is beating up his own mother
>Hiro: "Uhm, dont mind me"
>Man shrugs and continues beating up his mother
>Hiro leaves the house

>>86547821
>For you

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>Hiro goes innawoods and sees Moot and Snacks jerking off each other.
>"Oh shit, I'm sorry.", says Hiro, walking towards them.

>Snacks picks up his AK and starts shooting at Hiro
>Hiro survives
>Shit drips from the bulletholes

get Han from fast and furious to be Hiro

>tries to find way to phone
>makes his way to building
>stumbles around and looks up
>Sneed's Feed and Seed
>Formerly Chuck's

>>86549238
Why though? Wouldn't it be cheaper to just get the real hiro?

>>86549305
>Sneed immediatly shoots at them bcause they're not yellow
>Snacks got several injuries and Moot got his kneecap blown off

>>86549474
>cut to shot in a hospital of Moot in a wheelchair with Snacks in a full body cast

>>86549474
But Hiro was the one who went to Sneed's.

>Snacks screams 'SIKE' and pulls off his body cast
>He picks up moot and proceeds to run out of the hospital before the police arrive

>>86549630
Then why didn't you just say "Hiro tries to find way to phone"?

>as they're running, Moot pulls out a laptop
>"we need a way to communicate when shit goes south, like that 2chan site you showed me"
>"so what, you're gonna set up an irc?"
>"better. I'm gonna rebuild it"
>"but that could days if not weeks or even months. and what are you gonna call it? Not-2chan lol?"
>"no, it's called the 4chan, like a 4-leaf clover, And i've just put it online"
>"you work fast. Drop the 'the' though, it sounds stupid"

>>86550142
>"I will never drop that line, cunt"

>for you

>cut forward a year
>camera slowly pans up to show forest trees and setting sun against the horizon
>it's calm and tranquil
>suddenly there's an explosion of napalm
>apache attack helicopters fly onto screen
>it ain't me starts playing
>private Woof sits on the gunner firing like hell, tongue hanging out of his mouth with glee
>"jesus, he's an animal!"
>"thank god he's on our side"
>"I hear after he's done here, he's being sent back home to search for domestic terrorists on the internet"
>"terrorists on the internet? the hell? just turn your computer off, fucking idiots"

>in the sewers Hiro sits typing away
>a cop approaches him
>"and?" Hiro asks
>the cop looks down ashamedly, "nothing, we haven't been able to find any trace of either of them..."
>"oh rearry? what i do even pay you for!? hand in your gun and your badge! you're done for"
>the cop sheepishly hands them over to Hiro"
>"and you're other gun"
>the cop pulls a snubnose from his ankle and hands it over before walking away
>Hiro shouts one last thing at him, "Don't even think about showing your face around here again! I know your face Aaron Swartz! You're nothing!"

>Cut to Moot and Snacks living their lives in the shed they have build
>They hear a Truck parking
>Moot looks through the window
>It's the 4chan party van

I wonder what ole moot thinks of his lil baby these days

>back doors of the 4chan party van opens
>a horde of neckbeards wearing guy fawkes masks comes rushing out

>Moot screams "What the fuck is happening?" while pulling his micropenis out of Snacks' tight boipucci.
>At that moment, Moot remembers what day it is.
>Old /b/ day.

>Let the bodies hit the floor starts playing
>Private Woof (now promoted to Lieutenant Woof) shows up in an AMV with a BAR
>he starts mercilessly shooting, the bullets ripping through the hoard of neckbeards and dismembering them in a shower of blood
>all while smoking a cigar
>then he pulls out a flamethrower and burns those left breathing
>the reflections of their screams is reflected in his aviators
>"Humanity is a disease BARK BARK"

>>86553023
>movie stops to a still frame of Lt. Woof mowing down neckbeards
>cut to black
>"/b/ has changed."
>"it's no longer about original content, epic GETs, and win it's an endless series of reposts, perpetuated by newfags and trolls fail - and its consumption of /b/, has become an unstoppable cancer. /b/ has changed."

>Lieutenant Woof rapes snacks's boipucci
>Moot sees this and joins

A portal to another dimension opens... A penis slowly enters through the portal into Moot's mansion. It's huge. A huge penis (The mansion is kinda small.) But... it's the biggest penis Moot has ever seen. It's got a tattoo on the shaft.. R... E...D... It drags across the room, creating sparks on the floor from friction. It presses against the wall... twists off (it makes a silly rubbery sound), changing direction, finding another wall, pressing, twisting and changing direction again. The thick fog of a mega-flatulence fills the room. More of the tattoo is visible now: D...I...T. "The entire room will become filled with this gigantic, twisting space-probe-penis!", Moot exclaims. He knows what must be done, and reaches for the red phone: his direct line to Donald Trump.

>Trump hangs up before Moot could even say anything
>Suddenly, something crawls outside of the penis
>It looks a bit like a cucumber
>It falls on the floor
>Moot picks it up
>I TURNED MYSELF INTO A PICKLE I'M PICKLE RIIIIIIIICK

Bump for interest

>>86553186
Snacks gets so much semen pumped into his ass that it goes up his throat and almost drowns him.

>>86545652
How long until someone will actually make a film out of this?

>Cut forward two years
>A familiar sound is heard
>It's the 4chan party van
>Agents storm into the house and kill W.T Snacks
>Dramatic moment with flashbacks while moot is running
>Moot get's out in time

ROB SCNEIDER IS

I don't know where this is going, but this movie HAS to end with a Sausage Party-style mass orgy ending.

Pretty good movie so far

>after his dramatic escape moot drops to the ground
>he begins sobbing and pulls locket from his jacket
>he slowly opens it to reveal a picture of asuka
>moot takes out a revolver, puts the gun in his mouth, and pulls the trigger

>He realized the gun was out of ammo
>He hears the agents coming closer
>Moot hears someone say "Hey faggot, get in here"
>It's hiro inside of a bunker

>After a silent meal of Japanese MREs, Moot says "It's not like it used to be."

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>Nobody on /tv/ knows how to write in screenplay format

>>86558660
Teach us.

>>86558660
>, says Moot to Hiro, taking a massive fucking huge disgusting shit after eating about 5 MREs.
BBBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAPPPPPPPP
>By now, Moot's anus is completely prolapsed. Moot tries to walk over to a phone to call a doctor, dragging his prolapsed anus across the ground.

>>86547821
For you

>Cut forward 9 years
>Hiro offers Moot a shitton of money if he gives him The 4chan
>Moot gives him The 4chan
>Hiro turns out to be evil
>Hiro shows the congress a video of Moot jacking off
>Moot get's thrown off a skyscraper
>Moot survives
>3 minute run scene
>He stumbles upon 4 guys and a female with sunglasses
>He has an orgy with them
>They go out to defeat Hiro
>"To be continued"
>Roll credits

>>86559716
But what about the dramatic fappening scene where an intern runs into Moot's office to tell him and all colour drains from his face.
And then Highway to Hell starts playing as the fbi raid their offices in slow-motion in one long continuous tracking shot

>>86559842
That's a shit idea.

>>86559842
That can be in the sequel.
Someone should write in https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNO6G4ApJQY as part of the plot.

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BOOM!!!!!!!!!
Suddenly a visible power wave appears!
There is a man in the distance.
"Oh my god! It's Alex Jones!!
He is powering up!!!"

"RAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

I still miss Terry Wogan. I can still hear his voice pouring from the radio on weekday mornings when my mum would drive me to school.
I didn't have the same attachment to Bruce. My mum would watch Strictly Come Dancing so I've seen more than a few episodes. But he always seemed like that guy who was famous for something a long time ago and was just milking it now. Still sad though. RIP in peace