porg

Sloth Lord will be memethought into existence and theres nothing to stop it.

>>86451226
>tfw no porg bf

We want the minions audience

>>86451226
holy shit these things look delicious

>>86451226

I unironically like Porgs.

>>86452065
I wondered how Luke got so fat on that island

>movie ends
>porgs all start dancing to smash mouth

Log of items vended during Testing Phase 8:
800 yen entered for each item, items being dispensed every 2 minutes. SCP-261 is attached to power.

“<Unknown>” – Aluminum box with a small glass window on the side, and a large round button on the top, packaging in an unknown language. Box is seamless, and appears to be filled with small, round animals covered in fur, each with three small paws and a single large eye. Pressing the button causes the inside of the box to rapidly become super-heated, cooking the small animals alive. Muffled noises and scratching were heard for several seconds during the cooking process. After one minute, thirty seconds, the front panel opens and gives access to the now-cooked animals. Professor Kain volunteered to eat the animals, with no other researchers willing to do so. Taste described as crunchy and very spicy, with a small hint of beef.

I didn't know crunchy was a taste

>>86451226

soooo cute!

Disney's© Star Wars™ : The Last Jedi™
will be amazing! Can't wait for december 15, 2017.

they look like a seal and a bird combined

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>>86452036
nah, they're just using the old formula of having something cute on screen for the younger audience
also merchandising

>>86452197
I THOUGHT LOVE WAS ONLY TRUE IN FAIRY TALES

>>86452036
also, member furbys?

>>86453564
MEANT FOR SOMEONE ELSE BUT NOT FOR ME

I loves you, Porgy

I'm gonna unironically buy this.

What does it say when you squish its belly?

>>86451226
>fantasy scene
>two fingers
no wonder he looks sad

>>86452197
This would unironically improve SW at this point.

>>86453935
kek

MOICHANDISING!

>>86453841
Porgy Porgy Poo!

>>86451226
We are the Porg you will be assimilated

>>86453841
BRAAAAAAAPPPPPPP

>>86451226
the other white meat

>>86452197
SOMEBODY

I heard there's a scene where they start twerking

>>86451226
Porgy is gonna be such a forced meme, calling it now

Star wars is so shit senpai lmao

>>86453841
OPTIMUS NO!

>>86451226
I'm going to buy this and put my dick in it's mouth

>>86451226
CUTE PORGY

>>86454993
OPTIMUS STOP PLEASE

>>86453841
may tha shwartz be with ya'

>>86451226
It's like they literally asked a quantum AI to design the absolutely most profitable little furry shitbag.

Porgs are the original jedi. They're pulling a trick like Yoda only species-wide.

>>86453841
SIEG HEIL

>it needs to be cute like a dog... But its on an ice planet so.. Hmm.. Penguin... Dawg..
>Aha! PORG! someone get me on the phone to the marketing department

>>86453841
Thanks for your money, goy

>>86453841
My pronouns are porg/porgy/purgatory

>>86455858
This. It reeks of manipulative lab-grown "CUTENESS" designed to be as appealing as possible to the unwashed masses.

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>>86454643
please be lying, although deep in my heart I know you're not

>>86454091
kek

>fans hate the ewoks
>make new ewoks

>>86453841
Finn, can ya switch this light for me, it's Saturday ya know.

>>86456182
That can also be use to describe Hollywood films

>>86456182
I fucking hate the new star wars but I really want a porg plushy right now, to hug it. Maybe not just 1 but 2 or 3.
Curse you, Disney.

>>86453841
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpMwxnsbg0Y

a fucking deformed penguin

The legs are fucking dumb, they should have had no legs/feet like in the concept art, it would have been a bit more original than a penguin with a nose.

Will they help destroy the evil white males empire at last?

>>86456266
Star Wars is a franchise whose profits are at the very least 70% based on the toys and merchandise it sells.
Star Wars is also a kids' series. Kids like furry, cuddly things as much as they like lasers and spaceships. After the first 3 films (and even that is arguable) they based the movies on what sells to kids, not what makes a movie actually good. Star Wars as a whole is a glorified toys TV ad that you pay to watch. It's the perfect Jew scam.
Literally every little detail in these movies is precisely calculated according to what makes a kid go "woah, so awesome/cute! daddy, I want one of those!"

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>>86451226

Someone please install a fleshlight into one of these and take pictures fucking it

>>86457076
And before someone mentions "adult's collectibles and memorabilia" know that a very nicely made action figure targeted to adults goes for what, 100, 200, 300 dollars? Sure, a company could make good money producing highly detailed and expensive models like that for a relatively high-demand audience, but how many are they gonna sell compared to the toy-making companies? Nothing, in comparison. A cheaply-produced $20 toy for kids is gonna bring a company much, much more profit than an expensive, $200 statue for a small number of collectors. There will always be more kids in the world than adult collectors with unlimited money to waste on figures.

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>>86457076
Nice story but TPM was not a marketable movie, even Lucas admitted it. A lot of companies lost a lot of money by over-producing TPM merchandise. And in fairness to Lucas, he never sold out by making changes to accommodate their wishes. Disney on the other hand...

>>86457579
The Phantom Menace had some really fucking awesome videogames though. And I remember the catalogues with action figures and micro-machines pod racers.

Guess we know what the hot Christmas toy is this year.

>>86453841
Destroy the white race

>>86457579
Yet still they made two more sequels to it and rejuvenated its appeal to kids. These movies sucked and you know it. By the profits and reviews of the movies themselves they wouldn't never survive.

>>86457579
i had a tribubble bongo toy as a kid, i kinda liked it, wasn't quite like my lego tie interceptor but at least it didn't fall apart when i tried playing with it

>>86453841
Hillary 2020

>>86458055
if she's able to live that long, she's like 70 years old now

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remember Star Wars? it's back, in porg form!

>>86453841
'The Force is female'

>>86451226
Its literally a space penguin with pug dog features. Couldn't be more tailor made to its target audience if it tried.

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>>86457579
The prequels were massively profitable based on cinema tickets and DVD sales alone. You are an idiot.

I can already hear RLM praising them even though they bitched about ewoks and jar jar being too kiddy

>>86453841
Take your daughters to the interracial breeding grounds, goy.

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>>86458285
meant for
>>86457839

>>86458238
It looks depressed as fuck, like it can't wait to be killed off or something. META POTTERY!

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>>86451226
PORG :D

>>86458311
I can't wait for their force tree praise when they hated midichlorians

>>86455073
I was just pondering if it would fit my fleshlight

>>86457731
This. The videogames and spaceships were cool.

>>86458578
it takes it raw or not at all

so, what? it's like a furby for retarded children?

>>86460056
Kinda does look like a Furby with an extra chromosome though desu famalam.

>>86452197
>Daisy finds out Snoke is her dad
>C3P0 comes out to comfort her
>"Things will get better, m'lady. Believe me. R2, hit it!"
>Record and needle pops out of R2's pelvis
>All Star plays while Porg dances and farts along
>credits roll

>>86453984
This.

>>86454091
>We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own
>Your culture will adapt to service us
>Resistance is futile, you must comply

>>86457731
The videogames, spaceships, and toys were all the GOAT of the prequels.

TPM also had just the right amount of lightsabers, too, where you actually got to see individual jedi wrecking shit a la ROTJ, with one crazy battle at the end. This made me lust after the Obi Wan/Qui Gon/Maul lightsabers in a way that I never did after the lightsaber fatigue of AOTC and ROTS, because they were still new and cool, but were used sparingly enough to still feel "special"

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>>86451226
Lame

>>86453841
Have you ever been tickled on the inside?

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>>86461088
die