absurd movies

>>86368398
40 whole fucking days and nights??? jesus

about 4 years since last time i had sex with a woman, that's 1424 days

monk mode for life.

Imagine. A whole 40 days and nights without baneposting!

>>86368398
how did he even handle not having sex for that long?

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>>86368398
>watch this movie at 13
>excited for adulthood, where you get to have sex multiple times a week
>26 now
>mfw

Do you have any idea how hard life is for chads?

You cant even go in a restaurant without some roastie squeezing your biceps and trying to blow you

>>86368398

Reminder that this movie was written, greenlit, performed and released without any issues because the vast majority of people have sex regularly

>>86368398
Its actually a pretty decent to good flick

>>86368398
He also doesn't jerk off for that amount of time, which is why he starts having crazy ass sex dreams and seeing tits everywhere by the end.

>>86368767
It was also made before dating sites and tinder exploded so it wasnt a case of women being able to choose the top 3% of guys any time they please while the other 97% got jack shit

>>86368398
>you will never not have sex with Shannyn Sossamon

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>>86368656
top
kek

sex is overhyped. if you don't care about the girl, it's not even worth the effort.

>>86368398
Wasn't this the movie where at the end everyone treats him like shit because he gets raped?

>it's an /r9k/ posters that haven't seen the movie thread

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this movie is as absurd as star wars or a video-game, being a virgin at 18+ is like rejecting every female in the world

>>86369033
i'm sure thats the case but when you know someone got laid, their confidence and general swagger goes through the roof

from holding a convo to looking people in the eye

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>inb4 some autist points out he can't fap either

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>>86369101
>used to think this movie was a comedy
>now I am living it

>>86369101
me on the left

>>86369033
>do coke with some work buddies one night
>decide to call some escorts
>figure we'll just get blowies because we wanted money for more coke after
>girls come over
>go to different rooms
>girl has great tits, she starts blowing me
>can't even cum because I'm flying and I don't feel any kind of connection to this girl
>she's a sweetheart about it, just laughs and says it happens all the time with guys on coke
>know she's bullshitting, but appreciate the effort
>girls leave
>lie and tell buddies I nutted hard
That was like three years ago, haven't done coke since.

>>86369131
True but only if you don't pay for it, she wants it just as bad, and you didn't embarrass yourself in the process

>>86369101
is this any funny? havent seen it yet

>>86369191
that's what the whole struggle is though, anyone can last 40 days without having sex. not being able to blow a load is what makes the whole premise interesting. him hallucinating, getting turned on by mild flirting, boners all the time etc.

>>86369191
to be fair they even threw that explanation into the TV ads eventually for that reason when this originally came out.

>>86368656
If I wanted to really make a guy miserable for life, I would probably have him watch a bunch of movies like this.

This will make him think that "you find happiness by having sex", that "you should be having sex with as many hot women as possible", etc. That way, if he doesn't have success on that, he will feel like a failure. And if he does have success on that, he will still be empty, since casual sex is not what leads to a happy and fulfilling life.

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>>86369101
f-five more years haha

>>86369382
Having lots of casual sex is not that difficult to attain. It's just the vast majority of people either consciously or subconsciously don't want it, even by those who put pussy on a pedal stool.

>>86369033

it's worse if you do care about the girl

>>86369101
It's amazing how many people missed the point of this movie.

>>86369662
nah. stop pretenting.

>>86369632

yeah if you go out to clubs and seek them out, drunk girls who are ready to hook up are a diamond dozen

>>86369858
Fucking a drunk girl while you're sober is rape, for all intensive purposes.

>>86369632
>Having lots of casual sex is not that difficult to attain. It's just the vast majority of people either consciously or subconsciously don't want it, even by those who put pussy on a pedal stool.

That actually makes sense. Either way, this kind of film leads to people being miserable.

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>>86369895
fuck off sweden

>>86369916
I just like to cover my own ass, it's a doggy dog world out there.

>>86369895
>intensive purposes
are you retarded? learn proper english you retarded cunt

>>86369963
>it's a doggy dog world out there.
are you acting like a retard on purpose? if so, for what purpose?

>>86369910
it's actually a really well made film and nice little time capsule of the early 00's

>>86368398
Pretty comfy movie to be honest.

>>86369967
haha I could care less what you think

>>86368767
DELETE THIS RIGHT FUCKING NOW

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>>86369916
>>86369967
mfw I'm the only one who got the joke.

>>86369967
>>86370020
They're from a pasta that's old as fuck at this point, you summerfags.

>>86370088
>I could care less
your bait is too obvious. not very effective, unless you're on Reddit

>>86369967
Wow. The ironing in this post. Don't be such a pre-Madonna.

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>>86370140
what are you, a bad fishermen or sumthin?

>>86370024
This, the sex scene near the end is actually kino and tasteful as fuck.

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>>86370123

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>>86368555
2 years for me, if you exclude prostitutes

>>86370123
fuck off, newfag. You clearly don't know what the fuck he's talking about. It's an old as fuck pasta.

>>86370109
>>86370120
look who fell for the counter-bait lol

>>86369967
We all know you came here from Reddit, why don't you go back?
>>86369101
But the virgin in the movie is painted as the good moral guy, while the rest of them are dumb degenerates.

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>mfw the newfags in this thread
>mfw I realize I've been here for over a decade now
>mfw I realize I'm proud of that fact

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>>86370222
>>86370249
>>86370140
>>86370120
>>86370109
>>86370088
>falling for stale counterbait
will Reddit leave now?

>>86370340
sure, go right ahead.

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the perfect girl, not a stacy nor does she try to be. someone you actually want to be friends with and have sex with because you like her. I hope I find someone like that.

>>86370305
His friends aren't really painted in a bad light at all. They don't even really tease him about being a virgin and go out of their way to help him get laid. Their humor might be a bit childish with the homo jokes, but that's not anything out of the ordinary normie banter.

>>86370487
I like this movie because it acts as a perfect time capsule for the dot-com bubble. I think her character was a net nanny.

>>86370493
This, he's nervous as fuck about them making fun of him the next day. Seth Rogen goes "hey Andy" and walks away, then the black dude goes "WE GOAN GET YOU LAID, SON" and is excited for him.

>>86368398
Is it just me or is there something seriously wrong with this poster. The head of the woman looks badly photoshoped.

>>86368555
19 years here, feels good man

>>86369306
in an depressing sort if way, yes, but mostly it's just sad.
he isn't really a neckbeard or anything, he's just sort of weak.
he ends up giving up all his hobbies and things to he enjoys at the whims of a single GRANDMOTHER.

>>86370887
They're both airbrushed to hell to the point of looking like manikins.

>>86368398
>>86369101
>movies women will never understand

>>86369967
People like you are a diamond dozen

>>86370217
Literally ends with a dude being chained up and raped. Somehow the girls end up being in the right at the end.

Oh, I guess it is kino.

>>86368890
Dunno what you're talking about bro. Virginity rates are at an all-time low. Just because you can't get any doesn't mean nobody else can.

>>86369967
t. virgin

>>86371565
/9k/ is too shy/insecure to use tinder. It really is easy as fuck to get casual sex but they want true love like in their animus.

>>86368398
Holy shit hahaha what even is this like are you kidding me? Not possible. I mean shit dude you could like just stumble upon pussy on accident before it got that far.

>>86368398
>those copypasted body parts
Why would they do this? Why not simply shoot legit photographs of the poses you want?

>>86371761
True love doesnt exist, that's bluepill garbage. Woman are only for pump and dumps.

I had sex last week and doing this shit would still be a breeze

it's so overrated it hurts, or maybe I'm just dead inside

>>86371848
Hence why /r9k/ survives on their escapism.

>>86371890
sex is so*

>>86369320
I tend to jack off almost once a day which I consider too much, I'm in my mid twenties and a virgin, and I'm almost getting more unstimulated boners than ever.
What do you think that means?

>>86371565
>Virginity rates are at an all-time low.
I don't believe any polls on this given modern day attitude towards being a virgin.

>>86372008
>not jerking off multiple times a day
it ain't even bad for you beyond the time sink
if your dick wants attention, give it some

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>>86369967
>>86370020
Fucking leave you embarrassments.

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>>86372214
>he fell for the counter-bait

>>86372174
Well when I was younger like in my early teens I jacked off like 15 times in one day once. I easily used to masturbate multiple times daily.

>>86372303
Fuck.

>realizing that other people go outside, have fun, live life and hookup
>I haven't left the house in over a week because I have no car and it's hot and all my friends are busy
It's like an entirely different world. One thing I always hear about is people travelling, how can they afford to do that, even if they have jobs? I haven't left my state in years

When this movie came out, nobody contemplated/cared whether the guy got raped or not. It was a better time.

Plus the girl who did it was hot, so...

>>86372536
They can afford to travel because they have actual careers not just jobs.

>>86372639
Bullshit, I see every 20-something Stacy who still works retail going all sorts of places

>>86369788

What was the point?

Last time I checked the point of a comedy is to provoke laughter unless you're some pretentious fop that thinks they have some other purpose.

>>86370222

.....I don't like her

>>86372674
Hot girls are exempt. They can get guys to pay for them.

>>86372536
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Future_orientation
They aren't saving for retirement. My wife always nags me about why we have to put "so much money" away now instead of spending it on "fun" things. If it weren't for her dad before we got married and me now, she'd probably be homeless. The vast majority of people are children who will take a cheap reward today rather than gratification tomorrow.

>>86370487
Holy shit just looking at the color grade in this reminded me of a time when I was close to being happy. I mean I definitely wasn't, but still.

>>86370487

Funny how both of the jobs they had are now basically obsolete. Maybe they'd be one of those retards at google playing quidditch or whatever.

>>86372756
The world is fucking bullshit.

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QUESTION: If this girl tied you up and raped you, is that considered a crime? Even morally wrong?

>>86372772
Why did you marry such a bimbo then? Although I feel like this >>86372756 is why.

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>2 years and 8 months ago

>>86372836
She's fertile and her parents are both doctors. My long term goal is to have multiple successful children and so far it's going well.

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>this is now a late 90s/early 2000s thread

I don't know if this movie is that "great" or anything but it definitely sticks with me to see Jim Carrey act like a normal person. Also the depictions of the neighborhoods, cars, clothing gets me and reminds me of the period

>>86372921
Not too bad then. Does she work at all?

>>86371761
>/9k/ is too shy/insecure to use tinder. It really is easy as fuck to get casual sex but they want true love like in their animus.

Do you think it is wrong to not want to have casual sex and to prefer to have serious relationships?

>>86372536

You are not missing much. Their lifestyle is not that good.

>>86373029
She works in a school so she's home early and gets the summers off.

>>86373102
>Do you think it is wrong to not want to have casual sex and to prefer to have serious relationships?

/r9k/ has neither though. There's nothing wrong with a few casual encounters to build confidence.

>>86373231
>/r9k/ has neither though. There's nothing wrong with a few casual encounters to build confidence.

I have never went to /r9k/ so I don't have any idea about them.
There are a few problems if you have casual encounters in order to build confidence...

>>86369382
I think someone already did your job for you.

>>86373304
>There are a few problems if you have casual encounters in order to build confidence...

Not really. Chances are your first couple of times having sex in high school didn't end up being a love of your life type of thing. I'm not saying go be a man whore but you have to start somewhere.

>>86368398
I will die a virgin. I could never see an escort because my conscience would bother me for life.

>>86370222
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OHHHH FUGGGG

>>86372674
Yeah and then they stop working for a while to go travel, know several people who did like this, some just worked some shit job before university and saved it all up instead.

>>86372921
What does it matter that they're both doctors?

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>>86373482
>your first couple of times having sex in high school

y-yeah, totally

You guys are misinterpreting this movie. First off, he's not allowed to masturbate, so don't act like you guys have ever done this challenge. Secondly, he gets a gf quickly into the film, and SHE wants to fuck. For those of you who have had girlfriends, you know that sex in a few relationship is frequent and unavoidable. So, he's dealing with a grill who wants to fuck him AND he can't even go jerk off about it later. The movie isn't trying to say that it's impossible for people to go 40 days without getting laid.

>>86373304
>There are a few problems if you have casual encounters in order to build confidence...
If you think the first woman you sleep with is the love of your life and that you'll love her forever and be with her forever etc. you're deluded; read Stoner.

>>86373482

Of course there are problems.

The first problem is that your confidence is affected by this. What is your view of life and relationships that you need to have casual sex in order to build confidence? What do you value? What is the kind of person that you care about the opinion of? Is it good to depend on casual sex in order to keep confidence? Or should you place your self worth in something better than sleeping with easy and superficial women?

And having casual sex is a bad habit. If you act as a manwhore, you become more like a manwhore. And becoming a manwhore is bad for you. It reinforces bad values, makes you more dependent on sex.

>>86373690
I'm not talking about sleeping with a woman and then to decided to be with her forever. But rather about not having casual sex.

>>86373706
Dude, I'm talking about teenage/young adult sex here. It's a totally natural thing and you might have some hangups if you think it's "degeneracy" or whatever.

>>86373895
Is this supposed to be an argument to what I have written?
"Dude, everyone is doing it, so it is good and normal"

>>86373844
I'm a 23-year-old permavirgin and to be honest, if I ever had sex, I'd probably try to make something long lasting out of it. People are starting to get engaged at my age so it'd be foolish to pump and dump, especially since I don't think I'll ever have access to sex.

>>86373962
Yes, actually. Not sure how old you are but you've definitely made sex out to be more of a big deal than it really is.

>>86373984
Think less about sex and more about finding someone worth. The woman who will easily open her legs for you is not the one you want to marry.

>>86374020
>Yes, actually.
Then, you need to study more.
You basically said:
>smoking is a healthy habit, since over a billion people do it

>Not sure how old you are but you've definitely made sex out to be more of a big deal than it really is.

You are the one saying that people should have casual sex in order to build confidence.

>>86374020
People should definitely view sex as a bigger day.

Manwhoring around has left me monstrously empty and bitter. I can't even look at women without feeling some kind of disgust. I definitely wish I could go back to being some brighteyed virgin getting excited and confused by girls and being lost in fantasies rather than my current condition.

>>86374235
See my post here >>86373482. I wasn't talking about being a douchey player well into your late 20s. I was talking about your early experiences with sex as a teenager. No offense to those of you that didn't lose your virginity in high school. I'm just saying that's when it happens for a large portion of people.

>>86373984
>People are starting to get engaged at my age
Kek, at 23? What kind of shithole did you come from, Japan?

>>86369095
>implying /tv/-posters watch movies

>>86374371
You said people need to have casual sex to build confidence and that there is nothing wrong with it.

>>86374454
Im 21 and a few friends have gotten married already

>>86373548
What exactly does your conscious have to do with anything? You're probably just like most adult virgins and are afraid of leaving your comfort zone and embarrassing yourself.

>>86374461
I mean I guess you don't have to but it certainly helps. Sex isn't everything but it is absolutely a rite of passage sort of thing, especially when you're a horny teenager. If you're saving yourself for marriage on religious principle, I respect that.

>>86374543
He thinks it is morally wrong to use prostitution.
Not everyone is a libertine, some people do have morals.

>>86373615
He probably thinks he's actually getting a slice of that inheritance, kek.

>>86371522
I meant when he "fucks" the short haired chick by blowing a rose petal down her naked body, and she cums buckets.

>>86374587
i hate these movies they gave me a sense of false hope in the early 2000s

>>86374543
I believe that prostitution exploits women. I think a tiny minority of prostitutes willingly chose to fuck strangers for money. Most do it out of pure desperation.

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>try sex multiple times
>feels like ass because I deathgrip too much
>women are literally too annoying to actually talk to
>buy a high class onahole with adjustable grip strength
>better than women AND my hand

>>86374693
The vast majority of prostitutes are just craigslist whores who want to make a easy money. Who's being exploited here? Pimps aren't really a thing anymore except in big cities.

>>86374576
My point is mostly that this belief about sex is a symptom of a big societal problem. Tying sex with self worth.
Considering it impossible for people to not have sex and that if you are not having it you are diminished.

>>86374621
What's the moral of remaining a male virgin?

>>86374804
sex trafficking is still a huge enterprise

>>86374734
As someone who masturbated every day for 23 years, used toys for three and had sex with women for a year now, I can tell you that you're making the worse out of a bad experience.

There's no toy (right now, or that I've tried) or hand that can immitate the warmth or feeling of the inside of a wet vagina. I've had terrible sex, but I've also had sex that makes you do crazy shit after just so you can stick it in her one more time.

Don't give up on women. Stop masturbating so much, and find yourself someone who you enjoy talking to.

Please for the love of god don't turn into a MGTOW cringelord.

>>86374804
I did a paper on this actually. Pimps are becoming less and less common in sheer amount, but they're becoming more common in certain areas in certain countries with decades of legalized (or decriminalized) prostitution because of increased need for protection.
It's really obvious what areas these are.
That said, eastern european prostitute based markets still have huge amounts of pimps because of the human trafficking and whatnot.

>>86374915
Not saying it isn't, but there's a huge difference between fucking some enslaved asian slut who's driven to your place, and just finding some CL booty from the next town over when the dive bar is dry.

>>86374824
20 year old virgin here. I'm very meek and shy so I don't even try with girls even though I'm far from asexual. I'm worried that this is going to effect the rest of my life because I see outgoing people in relationships and getting cool internships and shit while I mostly just sit inside. I feel like I'm falling really far behind because I still feel like a kid inside.

>>86368555
Hah, I've gone a whole 25 years.

Without even kissing a female;_;

>>86374895
You don't want to become like >>86374948

Someone who sees life in terms of pleasure. Who wants pleasure that "makes you do crazy shit after just so you can do it again".

When you are hiring a prostitute, you are having sex with someone you have no feelings for, who have no feelings for you, just because you want to please your genitals.

>>86374948
>cringelord.
Using words like this make you more pathetic than any guy with a 600 USD gas powered onahole. You saying shit like cringe is actually what I hate about women and the stupid shit they say. All this tells me is that more prolonged contact with women will make me say pathetic shit like you are.
>sex that makes you do crazy shit after just so you can stick it in her one more time
Fucking listen to yourself.

This is the kind of person that can listen to women's retarded shit about disney movies or harry potter for longer than 30 minutes just to have sex with them.

>>86375041
Internships don't really mean much. We could very well see the end of work within 20 years. Socialism will replace capitalism.

>>86375041
25 year old here, started seeing a psychologist about it a few months ago.

While it helped to put words on the specific episodes I've had with women that make me anxious around them, he's not really a lot of help.
From what I understand, you are the one that needs to put in the effort.

It's not fair, but that's the way it is.

Funny, I think I sort of new that already, but simply didn't want to believe it.

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>>86368398
>you will never be chad thundercock where your biggest challenge is refusing sex

>>86375220
>We could very well see the end of work within 20 years. Socialism will replace capitalism
you're very blind if you literally think that. maybe in some countries, but the future is just in stay-at-home shit. Half the people I know do things like streaming, caming, commission work, stocks, crypto and online retail for supplementary income. Those things are expanding at huge rates. That's the future, you absolute fossil.

>>86375220
Still though, I'll be graduating in a couple years and I have no real concept of how to live as an adult.

>>86375140
It doesn't need to be some extreme divide, though. Not everyone who has had sex with a prostitute turns into a addictive sex deviant whose life spirals out of control. The illegal taboo stigma of it (assuming you live where it's illegal) just makes it seem that way. Also, yes sex should be meaningful with someone you love, but when you're single it doesn't NEED to be meaningful. It doesn't need to be this special, symbolic thing every time. Do you ever do things just for fun? Sex is fun, as long as you don't overdo it and display some self-constraint about it. Try it yourself and suddenly you're not so spiteful about people who have it.

>>86375041
You are tying your self worth on status and money. And in a way, you probably consider that a good life is one with this. I think that everyone does, in some sense.

But let's think about it for a minute. Think about Brad Pitt.

He has a lot of money and a very successful career. He has a very high status, women want him and men actually admire him (unlike, say, someone like Justin Bieber who is loved by girls and hated by men). He is a master of his craft. The last 3 women he dated were Gwyneth Paltrow, Jennifer Aniston and Angelian Jolie. The 3 of them were voted "World's most desired woman" at some point in their lives. He is also a kind man who helps others.

But he still was not happy. See here

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2017/may/03/brad-pitt-interview-divorce-angelina-jolie-drinking

This great, amazing man, who has everything men desire still struggled. So, money, sex, status, pleasure... they can't make you happy. What can make you happy?

The Greek philosophers studied this. And the concept they came up with was virtue. To have a good life, you need virtue. Try to read a book by a philosopher called Epictetus called "Discourses". This will also help you with your shyness. The best treatment to social anxiety is a watered down version of his philosophy.

http://classics.mit.edu/Epictetus/discourses.html

>>86373656
>The movie isn't trying to say that it's impossible for people to go 40 days without getting laid.

Seems to be saying exactly that in the part where he quickly gets a gf who wants to fuck though???

>>86375470
The self-restrained way to deal with sex is not that of hiring prostitutes. It is not that of seeing it as harmless fun. Because it isn't. Just like people now are discovering that porn is not that harmless to the brain.

>>86375561
I see what you're saying but self reflection is much easier to do when you're not broke and struggling just to make rent. Money isn't everything but the comfort that having money provides goes a long, long way. If Brad Pitt really wanted to, he could buy a tropical island somewhere and take a year off to think things through.

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>>86375561

Wise anon is wise

>>86375632
He takes the nofap pledge BECAUSE he's tired of not fucking this one girl and letting sexual desire run his life. He does it because obviously it's super easy to not fuck for 40 days. What makes it a predicament is that he happens to get a gf. There's a lesson about the many benefits of not being concerned with getting laid, one of which is how he is better at interacting with women (which is why he gets a gf). Women aren't literally throwing themselves at him because hurr normies durr.

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>>86368555
It's been 4 years for me too. I havent even kissed a girl since then either.

>>86368555
10 years here, summer 2007

>>86375689
The man I'm talking about (Epictetus) was a former slave who even after being freed was still a poor man.

>>86375828
this

>>86375894
more like epic titties lmao

Just kidding. Thanks for the reading material for tonight, anon.

>>86375185
Cringe

>>86376027
Ah, one last thing:

This doesn't mean you should be poor and never marry. You don't need to become a Buddhist monk. But that you shouldn't tie your happiness on those things.

>>86370222
Wasn't this a joke in Friends?
Either Joey or Phoebe says it

File: 1495333986443.jpg (276KB, 651x630px) Image search: [Google]

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>>86368555
42 years next week

>>86375892
Why havent you tried tinder at this point? Im finally desperate enough to do it but i have no fucking pictures of myself

>>86372789

I knew a girl who had her first job watching what peoples mouses do on the website of the company she worked for. essentially taking notes from how people click around. this was last year so I think those useless jobs are still around

>>86376554
because there's guys that use that site that have abs and I don't have abs

>>86369101
Why did he settle for the used up roastie granny?

>>86368555
Yeah 2013 was the last time for me as well.

I guess I've had opportunities, but I wasn't comfortable those times.

>>86376871
A lot of women don't care that much about abs

You need some guns though
and by guns I mean firearms, big muscled arms or preferably both

>>86369246
>she's a sweetheart about it, just laughs and says it happens all the time with guys on coke
>know she's bullshitting, but appreciate the effort

It is a thing though, she wasn't bullshitting.
I've never done coke, but I have done other stims and they can sometimes make it take forever to cum. I mean, it can be fine if your in the mood to fuck for hours, but if not it can be a bit annoying.

>>86368852
This is why it was so hard for him that's a pretty long time

>>86376871
My friend is a 5'6" manlet with ears that stick out like an elephant and he consistently gets laid on tinder. You have to TRY. Do you honestly think mr 6 pack is banging anything but the 8 and 9/10s? Theres plenty of pussy he doesn't want.

>kat dennings pretended to be a virgin in this

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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>>86368950
I've been not having sex with hot chicks since the day I was born!

>>86368398
>be normie
>the idea of no sex for 40 days is horrifying to me now
>been posting since 2007 and no matter what board I'm on, there's always some fag crying about how they can't get laid
It's really not that hard, guys. Go outside, talk to someone besides your mom, start going to the gym. Instead of wasting 10 hours a day on this board, waste only 5 and do something productive.