Home Alone remake

The entire movie is that scene with Marv going up the basement stairs, except instead of Marv it's a woman, and instead of the nail it's my cock and balls.

Decent but that's a sequel not a remake.

>At last, I truly am, Home Alone.

Home Alone 2: Awakening

>>86320509
If they do a remake I think they should have a little girl play the kid who gets left alone. The rest can be relatively the same, scenes of her playing around the house, updated for modern tastes. Obviously there would have to be a lot more backstory done as to why the parents are unable to get in contact with her given modern technology and the like.
The only thing I'd definitely have to insist on including is a rape scene similar to that of the Irreversible alley scene, but with the little girl and one of the robbers. Just a ten minute long rape scene, implied anal, with an eight year old girl crying as she gets fucked up the ass on the floor of her own house. Maybe she could have a teddy bear that she has with her throughout the movie, and during the rape scene she's trying to grab her bear for some small bit of comfort, but it's just outside of her grasp. That would be hot

>>86320509
>Home Alone sequel
>MacCaulay Culkin is the robber now
you can thank me later, studios

>>86320509
Wait so it's a remake, then it's a sequel, then it's a reboot, then it's a horror reimagining?

>>86322225
You were so close to quints, but still of by three. Better luck next time.
You can have my dubs tho

>>86322509
kys

I saw >>86322605 at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask get in the way of him sucking cock or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and sucking another man’s cock in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him slurping as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen dildoes without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the dildoes and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to lube it up and shove it down his throat “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each dildo and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by sucking really loudly.

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>>86321960

>>86322691

>>86320872
Kek

>>86320509
As long as Eddie furlong can have a part in it. And I'd like a cameo by john candy cretaed by cgi

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>>86321960

>>86322691
11/10

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>>86321960

>>86322038
>R rated home alone
>the burglars are pedophiles
>the MC barely escapes being kidnapped and violently raped

>>86320509
did you guys see that monsters film with macauley and seth green? shit was weird

Could you make a movie like this with Macaulay but no mention of Mccallister names and avoid being sued?

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>>86321960
Fuckin weirdo

>>86323412

no why was it weird?

>>86321960
what the fuck

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>>86321960

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>>86321960
wat

>>86321960
It's 2017, fuck-o. She had better be a black tri-sexual genderfluid necromancer or I will scream opression all over Tumblr.

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>>86321960
Dumb post

>>86326668
>"what the fuck MARV"

>>86320509
Would be a genius deconstruction of the unnecessary 80s movies reboots genre. You should've submitted it to a studio rather than posting it on an anonymous basket-weaving forum and relinquishing your intellectual copyright.

I unironically want to see a modern Home Alone sequel where the kid is a 30 year old NEET.

>>86327290
>unironically using unironically
You know how I know you're gay?

>a That 70's Show poster and faded Cosmo clippings hang in the background

>>86327976
That is the correct usage of that word you fucking retard.

>>86328318
it's not even a word retard

>>86328318
Okay, friend. Okay.
You got me!
You got me over a barrel. You've got my wrists tied, you've got my ankles secured.
I'm not going anywhere.
What's that you're... oh. Oh you're pulling my pants down. Boxers, too.
That's fine. I won't struggle. Next you'll... ooh! Ooh that's cold! The lube! The lube you're rubbing on my asshole.
Hang on there a seco--oof!! Oh wow! Oh wow you're in my ass! Th-thrusting in and o-out!
I can f-feel you! Y-yeah I can f-feel you. You're whole l-length. I-in and o-out! I-it's good. H-hitting the sweet spot! Hitting m-my p-prostate!
OOOHH!! OOOOOHHH I'M GONNA CUM!!
*screams in ecstasy as you explode inside of me*

>>86328432
It is widely accepted to be a word retard.

>>86328618
yeah but you could have taken it out of the original post and it would have had the exact same meaning

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>>86321960
Written and Directed by Sam Riami

>>86328618
Not the guy your replying to, but you seem like an idiot and your grammar is shit

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What did they mean by this?

>>86328982
This poster is still in high school.

>>86328820
No it wouldn't because this is /tv/ where everything is inherently done ironically.

I saw >>86329101 at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and get in the way of him sucking cock or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and sucking another man’s cock in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him slurping as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen dildoes without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the dildoes and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to lube it up and shove it down his throat “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each dildo and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by sucking really loudly.

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>>86321960

desu i think a movie with a bunch of old child actors could be big like "the expendables"

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>>86321960

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>>86321960

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>>86321960

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>>86326668

>>86322691
This is the funniest thing I've seen in 4chan in a fucking while
10/10

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>>86321960

>>86321960
This is exactly what Hollywood would do, both in a movie and in real life.

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>>86321960
Top kek we should get shell shoujo to enact that, some anon on /b/ can figure out the script

>>86330482
I don't know whether it's legit newfags everywhere or if there's an autist going around replying to every copy pasta and acting like it's the first time he's seen it. Makes me think.

>>86331588
Or it's the guy that posted it.

>>86331687
It's not me. I've been posting it around like an autist, but the replies are all newfriends

>>86321960
jfc

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>>86320872
underrated

>>86320509
Shut up op The Collection is a fine movie

>>86320509
What happened...to his extended family

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>>86321960