Post your worst theater experience

>>86317308
Captain America: Civil War made me commit sudoku

>guy sitting next to me ate some popcorn and then proceeded to suck his teeth the entire time

>Buying candy
>Qt at the counter
>That's $7
>Hand a $5 note and $1 coin (Australian)
> '$7 sir'
>'Yeah?' Legitimately retarded
>'Yes $7...'
>'Oh, sorry...'
>Fumble around in my pocket
>Have a coin pouch cos small wallet
>Drop it
>At this point suicidal
>Pick it up and get a $2 coin
>Holds out her hand palm up
>I also putmy hand palm up
>Awkwardly fumble around as we both try and adjust
>Her hand caresses my sweaty palm
>Drop the coin
>Rolls off
>Awkwardly pick it up again and give it to her
>Almost shaking from autism
>Take the candy and leave

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>>86317308
>Get day off while TDY in Scotland
>Co-worker convinces me to go to theater
>See Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back

>>86317308
>be 5 years old
>go see Cat in the Hat
>eat way too many marshmallows on the way there
>immediately bored by the movie
>end up getting motion sickness from all the warped visuals
>leave halfway through the movie
Oh well.

>>86317308
>watch movie in theatre
>it's a pretty bad movie

It was Robert's day off and some dipshit kid named Tyler gave me lukewarm old crablegs

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>>86317308
literally any time I was forced to sit in the vicinity of niggers
>dramatic and shocking death occurs on screen
HORY SHEEIT GODAMN MUHFUGGA YOU SEE DAT SHEIT?
>tastefully done romantic moment
YEAAAH GET DAT ASS BOOY

FUCK NIGGERS

>>86317308
>be me
>Live in shitty Baltimore
>go see Watchmen in theaters
>a bunch of black people wooping and hollering in the theaters
>”Oh shut nigga dats a blue dick!”
>completely ruin the movie
>walk out and get sucker punched from behind and get knocked out
>they steal my Burberry trench coat and my watch

>Go to see the lord of the rings when it first came out.
>No one wants to go with me so i go alone
>Cinema has no singles policy, so i have to order tickets online and try to sneak in
>Sitting watching film and crab legs get stuck in my throat
>Start coughing loudly, and security notice me
>Film stops and spot light shines on me
>Whole cinema point and laugh as security kick me out for being on my own
>Banned for life from cinema now

When I was in primary school we went to the theater to watch some movie about Jesus Christ. It was some weird animation kind of movie. It was terrible.

>>86318006
stop living in Baltimore

>>86317916
Dude its fucking hilarious, what are you talking about? Especially horror movies oh man.

Never had a bad experience. My best was probably less mis and TFA.

>>86318064
I was there for work, and I live in AZ now. It’s much better

>first time going all alone to the cinema
>no singles policy is enforced
>"y-yeah, m-my date should be here any minute now. c-can i have 2 tickets?"
>guy at the encounter gives me the evil look, knows what im up to
>reaches for the microphone
>his voice echoes throughout the cinema
>"attention all units, code 520, I repeat, code 520 at register B"
>security man approaches me
>sent to the popcorn mines

My experiences are generally pleasant. Sucks when a braindead parent strolls in with an infant to a movie, who will then inevitably start screaming at the loud sounds.

Only had that happen like twice, at least.

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>going to the cinema all alone as always
>the usual routine, bought two tickets and the multiculturally approved combo of hummus and goatmilk, family size
>also brought a womens jacket which I hold on my right arm when I enter
>"Excuse me sir but where is your companion?"
>"Oh she's at the bathroom no worries" *point at the jacket*
>"Enjoy your kíno sir"
>a bit sweaty from that interaction but it all seems good, have plenty of time to cool down during ads
>lights go off, movie finally starts
>let out the last few farts from the warm goatmilk so I can finally enjoy my highly anticipated flick
>suddenly the opening credits are stopped, cinema staff bullies come in with flashlights
>Saw a guy drinking the offensive Coca Cola drink so they gotta be after him
>but the main cinema bully flashes right at me and yells "RIGHT THERE! GET THE LOSER"
>they are clearly onto me, should've brought a more convincing and expensive women's jacket
>the whole row is throwing me out, spitting and throwing stones at me
>cinema staff bullies drag me out of there with the whole crowd cheering and clapping
>"This is the third time you broke the 'no singles policy', you're going to jail you fucking weirdo"
>they throw me in the cinema jail, small dirty cell with no windows or toilet (pic related), just a designated shitting corner
>they don't tell me the time or date so I don't know if I was there for weeks or months
>survive on eating only leftover spilled cinema hummus and sheep blood which the cinema staff scrapes of the floor of every screening
>get to know all the other losers in nearby cells, we form a secret women hating club in there
>one other loser overhears our conversation and starts yelling at us
>brawl ensues, cinema jail clans are fighting to death
>I pretend dead so the staff throws me out in the dumpster with the rest of the bodies
>wait for the night to fall and run back home to my room
>have to start collecting good boy points all over again

and that's why I torrent

either getting drunk of really high and then not remembering anything about the film probably

Had a very vivid nightmare about the theater getting shot up, woke up and the "machine gun" was actually the sound of my bedside fan.

>>86317308
>go se dawn of the planet of the apes
>kid on my left won't stop making monkey noises when the monkeys scream
>turns out he had some form of retardation

>>86317916
Honestly, horror movies in a theater full of black people is fantastic. Most of those films are schlock anyway, so it's not like you're gonna gain anything by watching it in silence.

The Purge was a good time.

>>86318082
If I'm slightly drunk and watching a trash movie, it's alright, but when I'm trying to enjoy some kino it's infuriating.
>>86318217
Nice, I lived in Chandler for a year. Beautiful state, lots of hot girls.

or the time i got invited to go and watch a film which turned out to be a edgy documentary about surfing

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>>86318444
>lots of hot girls
I'd imagine, the temperatures in AZ really rise sometimes.

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>>86318053

>>86318053
Where do you live? Never heard of cinema's with a no singles policy.

>Watching some shitty horror movie several years ago
>So forgettable I can't even remember what the name was
>Movie is dull and not scary so the audience of ~20 people start joking amongst themselves and talking
>My buddy and I start riffing the movie MST3K style
>People laugh and start making their own jokes
>Pretty much no one pays attention to the movie anymore
>About halfway through, the lights come up in the theater and the projector shuts off
>People start getting aggravated thinking the movie fucked up
>Nope
>The Manager of the theater comes in to chastise us for talking and joking and says he will throw ALL of us out if we don't stop
>Everyone sits in stunned silence at this display
>Eventually he stops ranting and leaves, along with half the audience to get refunds

Seriously the most bizarre theater experience of my life. Has this ever happened to anyone else? This wasn't even a nice theater either just normal.

Batman Forever. Second place goes to the 2nd Matrix film. Nothing went wrong other than the movies being complete shit.

Worst:
>that one time when one of my many exes broke up with me while watching Gone Girl in the cinema

Best:
>my first movie date with my first and current girlfriend when we were 14, we watched Treasure Planet on IMAX

>>86318675
>tripfag
>had girlfriends

get out, reeee

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>>86317308
>go to watch Paranorman
>two minutes after trailers start running this monstrously fat black woman pushing her monstrously fat retarded black son in a wheelchair waddles her way into the theater
>try to ignore it and enjoy the movie despite black Forrest Gump making retard gurgles and screeches every couple of minutes
>toughed it out until about halfway through, right around the part where the zombies start waking up
>black Lennie Small suddenly shits himself
>I mean like sloppy wet diarrhea everywhere
>you could hear it dripping off the back of his little retard wheelchair
>and the smell, jesus wept!
>entire theater empties
>theater refused to refund us, went to a different theater a few days later to see the movie again

>go to movie theater
>watch 102 Dalmations
>leave when movie is over
It's not that I didn't enjoy the movie I've just only been to the theater 3 times and I liked Rugrats: The movie and Meet the Fockers better

>>86318659
My Dad and I were the only 2 people in a theater for the Brady Bunch movie. We had a blast joking around. Made the movie a 100 times better. No autistic manager though.

>>86318658
All modern cinema chains have it. You just probably never saw it implemented, they are pretty subtle about it but it's really embarassing, flashing the single guy with the flashlight and taking him "to the manager".
I make sure to always take a womens jacket with me, place it on my arm and I just say to the ticket guy that my lady is just at the bathroom. Just don't do this too often.

>>86318659
Decent bait mate

>>86318824
I go to the cinema (regal) at least once a month, most of the time alone, ive never heard of such a rule.

>>86318829
Everyone says this every time I mention it but I'm not baiting. This all really happened. I guess I understand why wouldn't believe me because its so out of the ordinary. The only thing I could imagine is someone in audience left and ratted us out at some point. All I remember about the movie is it came out some time around Oculus the movie about evil mirrors.

Dont Mess with the Zohan

Havent been to the theaters in years but one time at the end of a movie.... people stood up and applauded.
WTF

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Nothing actually happened but honestly felt like we were gonna get shot when watching Dunkirk.
>Friend and I watching the movie, no big deal
>Place is decently packed relative to it's normal amount of people
>Maybe like 30 minutes left and a guy with a trench coat looking dress with a bag starts walking down from behind us
>Me and my friend's hearts just sink and we sink a little bit into the chairs
>The guy goes near the exit and takes a seat there, with some other people.
I'm guessing they knew each other
>Both of us constantly keep an eye on the guy while getting excited for Tom Hardy saving the day
Literally nothing happened. Movie ended. We left the place swiftly. Didn't wait for the credits to even properly start. It was just scary.
Funny thing is, I was talking to my friend like 2 days after and he thought the guy had a bomb. I was thinking a classic shooter, especially with a Nolan film and all.
Actually, it probably wasn't the worst experience cause it was kinda exciting, looking back on it.

One time when I was younger, I took my little brother to see a movie and he needed to pee during the finale, so I missed the climax of the movie and just saw the shitty part of the end before the credits roll

Put me off having kids in future

>going to the movies with a bro
>bro is gay
>bro bets that if his penis gets a better rating during the inspection that he gets a blowjob
>if i win i get 100 bucks
>i've got a clean, uncut dick, no problem
>I lose
>i go double or nothing with my bro, if his falcon gains air dominance over mine he gets a blowjob and fucks my butt
>if mine wins i wipe away the debt
>my falcon is utterly dominated
>i'm kind of in shock as he forces me to my knees
>he tilts my face up to his and kisses me before shoving it down my throat
>it's so good, the taste of it and the heat coming off the shaft and the way it fills my mouth
>he facefucks me for 5-10 minutes, then lifts me onto a seat and puts me face down
>starts to push his cock in my ass
>it curves up, presses against my prostate as he enters further and further
>i'm mumbling and drooling as he holds my hips down
>leaking precum
>strokes my hair as i get used to having his cock in my ass, i start to notice little details like his balls against my ass and his breathing
>we make out a little, he grabs my hips again
>slowly pumps in and out as we kiss
>starts fucking harder and harder until i'm yelping each time he slams it in to the hilt
>he's thrusting into me, i'm arching and pushing into him, we're operating in unison
>each thrust sends warm waves rolling throughout my body, i'm moaning like a whore
>i arch back as hard as i can, letting him slam his cock into my prostrate with each thrust
>he's jerking me off, i'm delirious
>we both cum, he's like an explosion of warmth inside of me
>now i'm a fag

>>86319056
>gf breaks up with me, want to go see the latest capeshit
>no one wants to go with me, theater has "no singles" policy
>only applies to males, so I borrow a dress from my sister, buy a wig, and put on some makeup
>I had just started doing SS (/fit/ here) and all the squats had led to me having a big ass
>figure I'll play up the curves, help with the deception
>get to the theater, buy my ticket, get in line
>tackled by theater guards out of nowhere
>suddenly it hits me
>it's February
>black history month
>it's MLK weekend
>they think I'm a white woman
>I'm put in the theater stocks along with every other white female 16-25, my dress is pulled up, my panties are slipped down
>everyone claps as the theater bulls walk into the room, BBCs swinging as they walk
>a cacophony of grunts, squeals, moans, ecstatic pleas for more, and the sound of black flesh mercilessly pounding against lily white buttcheeks fills the room
>in all the excitement, the bull who has prepared to mount me doesn't realize I'm a boy
>fills my ass, mistakes my cries for help as screams of pleasure
>leaves me limp, shaking, and filled with seed

Saw Deadpool that night, 8/10

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>>86317308
>watching the new Ghost in the Shell movie
>some guy next to me leans over to the side so I can hear him better
>"hey man, what just happened?"
>"what?"
>"what happened in the movie"
>"oh..."
>proceed to describe the scene that took place
>"oh, cool. by the way, I'm David"
>"a-anon"
>he reaches out with his hand to mine to shake hands
>shake hands
>"you want to grab a beer once the movie is over?"
>"... no. in fact i need to get going"
>stand up and leave the cinema

Movie was shit anyway.

>>86318658
>summerfags