>British boarding school >no one has sex

Do wizards get STDs?

>>86246848
Dullest franchise

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>>86246848

>>86246897
Forgetticus!

>>86246947
lolwut

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Did you really expect anything else from the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises written for people whose imaginative lives are confined to TV cartoons, and the exaggerated (more exciting, not threatening) mirror-worlds of soaps, reality TV and celebrity gossip? Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

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>>86246947

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Not even the raunchiest of sex scenes could have saved the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

It is implied that they all have "sex" with the ghost in the jakuzzi

It was implied

>>86246972
what a delightfully avant-garde take on a classic meme

>>86246972
>>86246997

there we go!

>>86247017
moany mirtle? how do you fuck a ghost?

>>86246848
Just because Rowling never wrote a sex scene doesn't mean they don't happen

>>86246947
Huff = /r9k/

>>86246997
The picture is what kills me every time.

>>86246947
The fuck

>>86247064
Don't know how, but those gingers were definitely banging her. You just know.

There are subtle hints of it all the time.

>>86246848
Why wasn't the school 35% Muslim?

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>>86246848
Sure they don't.

>>86246947
lol rowling is a fucking hack beyond belief
it's unbelievable

fucking ghost kike bitch

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>>86246947
Shouldn't have come to /tv/ today

>>86246848
>British magic school
>not daily obligatory Salah in all classrooms
Fuck this shit

>>86246947
>House full of girls with low self esteem
Based Rowling

>>86246997
like clackwok and pottery this pasta arives

>>86246848
I forgot what the 3rd B was. Buggery, beatings annnddd...?

>>86246947
Whad dhe fug

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>>86246947
this is straight up degeneracy

>>86246947
this is fake, stop baiting

>He doesn't drink a Polyjuice potion laced with the hair of the hottest bitch on campus before getting gangbanged by his mates

What are you, a faggot?

>>86246947
>wizards tend to be more conservative in such things
>they have group masturbation sessions in their teens
do normal teens usually have wild gangbangs?

>>86247172
He already said british.

>>86247329
>he didn't get invited to the tuesday night orgies in high school

>>86247333
So why weren't the girls wearing hijab? Why were there female professors?

>>86247329
Group masturbation is not a wild gangbang.
>implying you never rubbed one out with a bro in the room doing the same

>>86247223
did the room smell of pussyjuice

>>86247387
>its not gay if you suck your bros off ironically

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>there are people on /tv/ who had no sexual experiences during high school and still haven't in their 20s

>>86247387
clearly co-ed, faggot

>>86247387
>implying you never jerked each other off to see what it was like then didn't talk about it ever again and you end up being the best man in his wedding

>>86247439
Not what I said at all. Re-read.

there were some scenes with a lot of snogging during the prom night thing but they deleted it

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>>86247387

Mate that's super gay

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>>86247467
Its retroactively not gay af if one of you gets married :^)

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>>86246848
>you will never be at a magic boarding school and experience teenage love with other young magicians
>you will never experience teenage love

THESE WOUNDS WONT SEEM TO HEAL

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>>86246947

>>86247394
I believe that's a potion

>>86247439
>>86247466
>>86247467
LOL
It's totally okay have a cock inside you when you're a kid
it's just experimenting

>>86247371
It takes place in the 90's. This bit youre trying to do sucks.

>>86247573
Why the fuck did you include my post here, faggot? Read it again.
>>86247466

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>>86247467
>tfw he ends up becoming openly gay
Wtf bro it was no homo.

>>86247329
>>86247387
>>86246947
me and my friend and his cousin masturbated in the same room multiple times to the same porn

usually it would be us watching porn on our PSP's but anyways pretty sure my friend was gay

>>86247585
There's a scene in current times where they're dropping off their kids. Why doesn't the train station get bombed?

>>86247603
woah
made me think

>>86246947

Even the Beatles did this:

> For boys in their mid-teens, most of their sex education came from their peers: skewed anatomical knowledge, improbable dirty jokes, stories of dubious authenticity about girls they barely knew, and of course, masturbation circles. John’s crowd tended to meet at Nigel Whalley’s house in Vale Road, near Menlove Avenue. Nigel played tea-chest bass with The Quarrymen until he abandoned his instrument in the road one day while trying to escape from two Woolton teddy boys. He took on the role of managing The Quarrymen instead. His father was a chief superintendent, head of Liverpool Police A Division, whose duties meant that his teenage son was often left alone in the house at night.

> Says Paul: “We used to have wanking sessions when we were young at Nigel Whalley’s house in Woolton. We’d stay overnight and we’d all sit in armchairs and we’d put all the lights out and being teenage pubescent boys, we’d all wank. What we used to do, someone would say, ‘Brigitte Bardot.’ ‘Oooh!’ That would keep everyone on par, then somebody, probably John, would say, ‘Winston Churchill.’ ‘Oh, no!’ and it would completely ruin everyone’s concentration.”

> (John later took the experience and used it as the basis for his skit, Four In Hand, in Kenneth Tynan’s Oh! Calcutta! Tynan copped out and substituted the Lone Ranger for John’s original Winston Churchill; nor did he follow John’s suggestion that they should actually masturbate on stage.)

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>>86246947

>>86247625
Think you might be the gay one, homo

>>86247625
Me and my friends used to masturbate together too, but if the wizards are more conservati9ve and are doing this, what is the rest of the population is doing?
Makes you ponder, doesn't it?

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>>86247699

>>86247329
Me my friend, and this girl I knew would watch porn and dry hump her.

>>86247724
>took a huge dump
Immersion ruined. pretty sure that's an American expression.

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>>86247724
I'm beginning to think that this might be a fake account.

>>86247460
I am eternally grateful I got laid before I was 30.

>>86247787
Agreed. Brits have a stupid cute word for everything.

>>86247822

Good luck getting it after

>>86247473
so did you, bro

>>86247869
Nah man she wants me to come inside her whenever we're together now.

>>86247858

Like a drippity ploop?

>>86246848

Is this actress related to Ramsey Snow/Bolton man?

>>86247869
Getting laid in your teens and early 20s is easy. Mid and late 20s women start getting married or are looking for serious relationships so it gets harder. Then in your 30s it gets easy again as women get divorced or desperate.

>>86247896
A boshy loo lump

>>86246848

That´s actually a good thing matte... well, not for blue balls Harry but it sure is for us readers/ viewers.

Rowling could have done it, easily... but she is a good writter. If you want teenage romance and sex go watch twilight.

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>>86247460
In my 30s now, anon. But at least I never went to high school.

>>86247901
All Brits are. It's a small island with a genepool that has gone through many bottlenecks. Don't let current population numbers fool you, they're all related/inbred.

>>86246972
I read all the Harry Potter books as a child. I have seen all the movies. I can hardly remember them and I often confuse their plot points with each other.

>>86247979
Quality screenshot, my brotha.

>>86246947
>/tv/ thinks this is real

>>86247986
Thank god for immigrants.

>>86247986
Yh because literally anywhere else is much better.

Reminder that 1 in 11 people pass through london at some point in their lives. Cunt

>>86246972
underrated post

>>86247967

a beef olive

>>86247858
I once heard a friend refer to it as a chocolate masterwork.

>>86247460
Feels bad man

>>86248036
A flippity-floppity humpty-doo flump torry I wish I was fucking dead plippity plop sweetie poo

>>86248085

an 'excuse me chap, i must commit an act most ungentlemanly'

>>86247539
are phoneposters even trying anymore

>>86248025
>don't let current population numbers fool you
You had one job.
I'm not saying your parents are literally siblins, this goes back thousands of years. The population of your little island periodically getting cut by half every time a microbe made it through the channel both proves it and reinforced it.
And yes everywhere else was much better.

>>86247218
hahah that episode

>>86248025
>Reminder that 1 in 11 people pass through london at some point in their lives

Wow, sounds like a filthy place to live.

>>86248386
Except I live on the border, where we've had multiple invasions from sturdy, swedish and danish stock to mix into the local bloodstream along with the celtic ancestry.

The island has always been multiculti.

>>86248441
Paris didn't stop using cesspools until the 20th century. Meanwhile London had the one-of-a-kind Sewer system by the 1800s.

>>86248444
Overblown. With some exceptions they were only passing by and establishing trade routes.

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>>86246848

>>86248515
Europe sounds like trash. How else could you explain the mass exodus to the US?

>>86248552
Danish =/= Saxons. Where we get the term Anglo-Saxon, which is a pretty big demographic deal

Swedish =/= Vikings. Both classic forms and the later Norman forms.

Suck a my big dirty white dick.

>>86248618
Yh to be fair those big wide open spaces must have looked like pretty attractive places to take a shit.

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>>86246947
PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS REAL

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>>86248592
>"she has nice...skin"

wut did harry mean by this

>>86247641
>We’d stay overnight and we’d all sit in armchairs and we’d put all the lights out and being teenage pubescent boys, we’d all wank. What we used to do, someone would say, ‘Brigitte Bardot.’ ‘Oooh!’ That would keep everyone on par, then somebody, probably John, would say, ‘Winston Churchill.’ ‘Oh, no!’ and it would completely ruin everyone’s concentration.”
ABSOLUTE MADMAN

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>>86246848
There was one scene I remember where Snape caught two students in the back of a carriage thing.

Then there was pic related

>>86246947
Why are potterinas so cringy?

>>86246848
>implying Ginny didn't take black cock daily since she arrived

>>86247329
>they have group masturbation sessions in their teens
Boarding school mate. Look up 'soggy biscuit' sometime.

>>86248822
he's a white supremacist

Yes, Boarding Schools in the UK are literal palaces of buggery and sodomy.

Class warfare is a thing when your contemporaries are all in each other's bumholes together.

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>>86247641
>then somebody, probably John, would say, ‘Winston Churchill.’ ‘Oh, no!’ and it would completely ruin everyone’s concentration.

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>>86246947

>>86248515
London almost had the first kind of mall in the world during the 1800's. A guy (I think Joseph Paxton?)had the idea to enclose a street with a glass roof so that rich people would be able to walk down it and shop even when it rained, snowed or the smog was bad etc. It was a really popular idea on many levels. Then The Great Stink happened and it got so bad that Parliament thought about leaving the city altogether because they couldn't get anything done with the noxious fumes permeating the place. This made them finally care about the failing sewer system and the funds that might have gone to Paxton's idea was instead spent on the massive works required to fix the sewer system.

Just imagine how different London would have turned out if that summer hadn't produced the Great Stink and they had focused on insulated walkways for the rich rather than improving the infrastructure of the entire city.

>>86246997
>atlas shrugged
>god-tier

triggered

tfw even if you went to magic school you'd still be missing out on a bunch of sex stuff

It just never ends.

>>86247641
Is any of this in english?

>Night with the lads
>Time for the hourly handy-friction pleasure session
>Wanking our Liverpool lollypops with our gripper-grabbers
>Absolute madman John yells out Winston Churchill
>We all have a giggle
>Rise from softy-wofty sitty chairs
>Place hand on bloody-pumpy orgy-worgan
>"GOD SAVE THE QUEEN"
>Take a relaxy-sit on the softy-chairs
>Continue wank with the boys

>>86246947 >>>86246971 >>86246994 >>86247086 >>86247102 >>86247208 >>86247218 >>86247223 >>86247240 >>86247243 >>86247269 >>86247329 >>86247544 >>86247625 >>86247641 >>86247699 >>86248022 >>86248675 >>86248885 >>86250694
Protip it is not real. Dumb reactionaries. Do some research.

>>86247387
Hey now, way to break American boyhood omerta, asshole.

>>86246848
>Teenage boy has invisibillity cloak.
>NEVER uses it to spy on girls.

That´s how you can tell a woman wrote it.

>British boarding school
>no Muslim rape gangs
>no trucks of peace
>no honor killings
>no sharia law
>the headmaster isn't Muslim

>>86248409
which one was this

>>86246947
>Group Masterbation sessions
>British "Education" 2017
thanks JK Cuckling

>>86246972
>"No!"
Every time.

>>86247329
>do normal teens usually have wild gangbangs?

Yes,

>>86251214
>Just imagine how different London would have turned out if that summer hadn't produced the Great Stink and they had focused on insulated walkways for the rich rather than improving the infrastructure of the entire city.

Just imagine how different the rest of Britain would be if London didn't get 85% of the government's infrastructure money

>>86254485
If the rest of the country wants money it should produce something of worth. Bloody rubes trying to get on the gravy train.

>>86247144
Name one time

>>86246848
The boys can't get into the girl's dorms, but the girls can get into the boys

Gee, I wonder why that could be....

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>>86247724
>Cho Chang takes monster shits

>ywn be cornered by a group of slytherin girls
>they will never forcefully fuck you
>they will never use a spell to keep your tired cock hard so they can keep fucking you

Hold me bros

>>86254653
"Clipium Virginitas" (The Virginity Shielding charm)

Imagine using the imperius curse for rape, or threatening to use the cruciatus curse if they don't let you rape them.

>>86254746
>getting life in Azkaban just to have sex
>memory erasure spells and love potions are completely legal

why anon?

>It's a Harry gets diarrhoea and spends the entire day shitting brown water whilst Moaning Myrtle stares at him episode
>It's a Hermione is on her period and spends the day being passive aggressive with Ron because he didn't say hello to her in the morning episode
>It's a Penis inspection day and all the wizard boys are attempting to cast spells to make their penises the size of a horses episode.
>It's a Hagrid has to take a monster shit whilst drunk so tries squatting against the tree and ends up arse first facing the Whomping Willow episode
>It's a Ron and Harry watch each other masturbate in the boys dorm whilst Neville quietly tries to sleep episode

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>>86252653
>linking manually
What did he mean by this ?

>>86246947
99 percent chance of this being fake, link to it faggot

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>i will never go through my teen years in a british boarding school like hogwarts

>children's book
>no sex
utter degeneracy

>>86254810
Imagine a society where you easily have the ability to rape another person regardless of physical strength and you are guaranteed not to get caught. It would collapse with a few years. How many wizards go to a quiet muggle town and just set themselves up a harem?
>imperius
>give love potion
Easy. The world of Harry Potter would just be non-stop rape and murder because it is too easy to get away with crime.

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>>86246848
>high school movie
>teenagers arent fucking on the busride to and from school

>>86247194
The placement of those feet only makes sense if it was a short kid fucking a really tall girl (or perhaps a teacher, hah!)

>>86248822
He wanted to turn her into a lampshade.

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>>86247724
POO

>>86247172
Muslim wizards are a minority due to their love of bakuretsu mahou.

>>86247858
Are you impling it's not cute to say you "took" a "dump"?

>>86246848
How are you supposed to have sex with all those living portraits and ghosts around?

>>86247986
t. Mohamed

>>86248552
Fuck off m8, almost my entire ancestry is made up of norwegian "passers by" you cunt. Have you not heard of danelaw? Scandinavian Scotland? What a moron.

>>86256423
hes baiting you

>magic is to be based on genetics or "blood lines" in the HP universe
>it has existed in Britain for centuries
>The wizard population in the country is around 10,000
>somehow there is full on black wizards running around hogwarts holding their wands sideways and shouting ava kedavra mo'fugga

>>86256627
Boarding school is actually a nightmare and most people who went to one need therapy.

>>86257322
>implying there is no magic in any non-white country in the HP universe.

>>86256627
I've done this and it was just okay

>>86257600
Hol' up, so you be saying that Zulu warriors be wizards n shit?

>>86247467
This is what the best man's speech is for.

>>86248386
The minimum population to maintain a wide gene pool is around 160. The population of the UK has been roughly over a million for about 2 thousand years with invasions from the Romans, Ango Saxons, Normans, Vikings, who themselves were mixed of people from all over Europe and beyond.

Why don't you learn something?

>>86257672
WE WUZ KINGS N SHIT

>>86257672

yup

https://www.pottermore.com/writing-by-jk-rowling/uagadou

>>86257109
this is the same reason star trek doesn't have many bathrooms, they just transport the shit out of themselves

>>86257822
Mein gott

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>>86247724

>>86246997
>>86246972
These b8 posts... every single time, and every time at least one person falls for them.

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>>86247329
ORGY- PORGY

ORGY-PORGY

ORGY-PORGY!

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>>86246947
SAVE THE WEST
Degeneracy
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LkFN54_Wxc
/ourguy/

>>86253336
the one where the chicken place across the street has a neon sign so bright it lights up kramers room like that

when jerry walks past the door the light coming through the peephole is like a laser beam

>>86246972
>othello better than hamlet
t. BLACKED connoseiur

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So who would you guys try to fug at Hogwarts? Pic related

>>86246947
Where's the movie?

>>86259428
who would i try to fucking ugly at hogwarts?

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>>86246947

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You just know. With both couples.

>>86259961
She was probably thinking about ron the whole time

>>86260005
Right up until Viktor started slamming her cervix maybe

>>86259961
Do you think while they were filming that dance scene that he grabbed her ass at all?

Woops sorry meant to grab your hips.

>>86259428
Luna all of the days.

>>86247641
Fucking kek

>>86251214
>The Great Stink
Oh England...

>>86260125
Do you think he kissed her womb?

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>you will never cast petrificus totalus on hermione, fuck her raw while she is immobile and then make her forget the entire thing after
>you will never give hermione a love potion so that she lusts after you madly
>you will never cast the imperius curse on hermione and make her do whatever you want

Feels bad man

>>86261105
She looks like richard dawkins, is a raging feminazi and is a tiny little girl only pedophiles would last after. Get help

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>>86261261

>>86246947
deepest lore

>>86247064
ghost pucci

>>86261261

She's like 27

>>86261261
>last
Must you comment your same memes in every thread you utter fucking faggot autist. Nice meme based on a ten year old shoop you fucking lit autismo

>>86247858
A banging shit

>>86248386
>The population of your little island periodically getting cut by half every time a microbe made it through the channel both proves it and reinforced it.
What disease has done this which didn't do it to any other recipient?

>>86261503
he is a fag who likes the herpes frog

>>86261616
A humming log.

>>86261261
She doesn't look anything like richard dawkins. You have facial blindness.

>>86257109
Does this mean they used to shit their pants or on the ground?

Why use toilets if there's magic though. Seems like a waste of rooms and plumbing. If I were at hogwarts you'd best believe I'd just walk out into the hallway and take a dump to disappear. Someone catches me? memory erase spell.

>>86256913
Or a slav-squat blowjob

>>86256913
That short of thing is my bag, baby

>>86257826
Where are the sinks and sonic showers?

>>86262287
it was fun until that one time you and your bro forgot the memory erase, George

>>86259428
Moaning Myrtle

>>86262477
I would fuck the ectoplasm out of her.

>>86256836
>How many wizards go to a quiet muggle town and just set themselves up a harem?
And then they get locked up for breaking the Statute of Secrecy.

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>>86247614
>no homo

>>86246848

>not using the fetus deletus spell as birth control

fucking mudblood

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>>86261834
Yeah ok Emma

>>86264273
Emma Hawkins and Dr. Watson

>>86264273
see
>>86261544

>>86264311
>I-it's just a shoop guys please believe me without evidence

>>86259428
nah, she's marriage material; especially movie luna since she didn't come off as crazy as book luna
i feel like ginny would be a great fuck, and in the books she was supposed to be really good looking

>>86259961
wasn't there something she or ginny says in the book that kinda implies they did it?
or maybe it was just making out

>>86264403
Her hair has been altered to give her a larger hairline.
They added wrinkles under her eyes.
They pasted her lips onto his mouth.

They altered both photos to make it seem like they look the same. It's an old fucking meme dude.

>>86264273
>>86264403
Literally a ten year old shop you're underage or a faceblind autist

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Wow you guys are right they totally looking NOTHING alike in the originals, Emma Watson totally DOESN'T have a manface

Like it's not like Dawkins could put on some makeup and a wig and be a convincing Emma or anything

I'm sure that's why the people who very slightly altered the pics chose Dawkins in the first place, because the two have zero similarities

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>>86259428

>>86246972
Based "No!" poster

>>86262477
Same, I'd probably make a habit of jerking off in the stall while she eggs me on. She has nothing better to do and she's eternally in puberty.

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>>86247724

>>86246972
Loving the revamped pic

DUDE ILL POST THE SAME EXACT POST AND SHOOP THAT WILL SHOW THEM LOL

THEN ILL SAMEFAG
>>86264629
Yea you can tell the mouths are shooped the same alone. It's a full blown shop but faceblind autists and dumb niglets don't care.

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>>86259428
Pansy Parkinson

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>>86265956
The original Pansy was much cuter.

>flicks for kids
>sex
????

>>86265956
So goddamn ugly, like a bog monster.

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Lavender then or Lavender now?

>>86266551
muh adult themes and maturing narrative

>>86266651
She should have carried on to their college years... would have got some of the good shit then.

Harry dicking Ginny
Ron dicking Hermoine.

>>86257109
>you will never be strolling down a Hogwarts corridor chatting to Luna Lovegood only for her to pause, pull up her skirt, squat for a casual piss, vanish it and cheerfully continue the conversation like nothing happened
why live lads?

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>>86246947
>conservative wizards
>group masturbation sessions

>>86251788
That was cringy

>>86246972

You all realize this is pasta from Harold Bloom, right?

>>86247172
There were lots of blacks and "Asians" in the later films

>>86247172
Because it takes place in the 90's.

>>86246848
Hufflepuff fucks.

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>>86246947