ITT: Times you acted like Pennywise

>>86214239
be me
call OP a faggot
kek

>>86214239
who is pennywise i want to get in the choke

This has potential

>be me in second grade
>girl says she likes me
>I respond with "thanks"

>parents leave town
>staying with aunt and uncle
>bathtime
>splish splash, taking a bath
>all clean, like a big boy
>look around, realize I forgot a towel
>call for help
>aunt leans against door
>"anon? what's wrong?"
>"I forgot a towel!"
>"hold on, I'll get you one"
>aunt rushes away
>slowly slide into the water, keep my head afloat
>aunt comes back
>"Am I okay to come in?"
>"Sure," I say, submerging
>throw bar of soap at the light switch
>aunt steps into total darkness
>"Anon?"
>leap from the water, shaking my head like a wet dog
>"WOOGLY BOOGLY BOOGLY!!!"
>chase aunt through house
>she drops the towel, dry off
>get dressed
>a week later and I'm still laughing

>>86214239
>be 11
>jerking off in my friends shower hoping his sister walks in
>she doesnt

>2011
>party rockers were in the house
>I didn't shake that

Boo

>>86215236
-urns

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>>86214932
>girl says she likes me

r/absolutelynotme_irl

This new Pennywise has to be the scariest movie monster we've seen in years. Literally years. There's two scenes in this movie that absolutely sent shivers down my spine. First when Pennywise possesses the slideshow and we finally get to see his very creepy and mental face in the final scene. What a build-up! I nearly pissed myself.

The other one is in the basement, first we see the excellent performance by Georgie's actor. You'll float too never has sounded more epically scary. And then Pennywise rises from the waters. I jumped in my chair and still do when watching this. I can tell I will be on the edge of my seat in theatres this september.

>>86215050
fuck I started choking kek

I used the squeeze ketchup and didn't wipe the cap

>>86215050
lmao nice

>>86215179
the madman

>>86214239
>be me in college
>teacher walks out to get equipment and leaves me alone with girl
>storm out of the room as fast as I can

>>86215384
Thank you Jebediah your check is in the mail

>>86214239

i drink milk from the carton

I once ripped off a kids arm

>sitting next to my crush in the 4th grade
>accidentally spit water on her desk

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>>86216270
>accidentally fart in front of my highschool crush while walking down the hall with earbuds in
>I just see her speed right past me, didn't even know she was behind me, guessing the fart came out louder than I expected

>>86215384
AUGHHHH AUGHHH

>>86216404
I clogged my girlfriends toilet and left without saying anything. Then I found out her pipes froze and exploded. I did tell her like 2 years after the fact and she said she knew cause a giant dense cluster turd came up after the burst. Her mom apparently told her I need to "chew my food"

This is exactly the same as nujokerposting.

>>86216467
Oh and onetime when we were 16 I was sucking her tits with her shirt up and her mom walked in with a plate of English muffin pizzas. I panicked and just laid over top of her trying to cover her nakedness and I closed my eyes. Her mom just awkwardly put them down and my gf said "thanks mommy." Afterwards we were freaking out and I remembered that scene from transformers when Anthony Anderson ate all the donuts to not look guilty. So I ate 8 pizza muffins by myself. Then I realized I could sneak out so I did and didn't go back for like 3 weeks.

Easier than greentexting

>in science class in 10th grade
>let out a silent fart but it is the nastiest fucking smelling goddamn putrid thing on the planet
>literally entire class gagging and coughing
i think some people suspected it was me but they never knew for sure :^>

>>86214239
OK, so this is the same joke as Letoposting.

>>86215050

>not fucking your aunt
>You see auntie when my dick is down there YOU'LL CUM TOO!! HAHA YOU'LL CUM TOO!!!! AUNTY BOI

STRIIIKKKKKE!!! AH HA AAH HA!

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>be alone with crush for the first time
>she asks me something mundane and I respond with one word
>don't say anything else to her for the whole bus ride
>never talk to her online again

>>86214366
Seriously? Google It.

>high school
>kind of a loser
>somehow got invited to two different New Year's Eve parties
>fall asleep at 7 and sleep through both of them
>each group thought I had flaked to go hang out with a cooler party
>get treated slightly better after that

To this day I don't regret my mistake one bit

>getting beer
>cute girl works there
>she says nice glasses are they new?
>uhh eerrr uuhh no
>she sort of rolls her eyes in a way
>get the beer
>have a good day
>you too

>>86216538
>>86216577
>haven't been in Derry long enough to know that Letoposting was a variation on /d e v i l i s h/ posting

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>>86216631
>>You see auntie when my dick is down there YOU'LL CUM TOO!! HAHA YOU'LL CUM TOO!!!! AUNTY BOI

>>86214239
>be me
>kill a kid

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>gay deep in closet
>order pizza
>young pizza kid so stunningly handsome
>pretend throat hurts can only whisper
>whisper into his ear "accidentally" brushing my cheek against his cheek several times

https://youtu.be/uOdeiOeBHxY

I always say this when i'm about to cum

>>86217181
And the facial expression of the girl in the alleyway is usually also the same.

>>86217181

why would you say "youtube uodeioebhxy" when you're about the cum?

>be me
>have a nephew named George
>nephew comes over
>i greet him
>"hi there Georgie"
>"arentcha gonna say hello?"

>>86214239
>vhs
>blockbuster
Only thing I want to rewind is time.

>>86215097
This one got me

>>86217440

i don't get it but sounds vaguely familiar. is this a reference to some poem or nursery rhyme?

>>86216467
sweet jesus anon

>>86218096

guy mormons are usually handsome and hot. not gonna convert but will definitely invite them in and talk for hours and staring and caressing their hands.

>>86216555
loel

>>86215384
Based!

>Door says exit
>Enter through it

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>>86222495
fucking scum

>>86216542
Normie scum

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Pop pop pop

>>86217295
based underrated poster

>>86222827
>Take IT™

>>86214310
The absolute madman!

>>86222827
Oh yeah I'm down with the sickness

>>86214239
>Be me
>2008
>Listening to Disturbed's down with the sickness
>*OHWA AH AH AH* plays
>violent horizontal head contortions proceed

>>86222827
Do you have the mega link to that video? I forgot the name of last night's thread.

Why would Pennywise rent a movie?

retarded thread op. I know your trying to play of the Leto Joker meme. But its dosent work.

>>86216191
Hahah good on- wait what?

>>86215384
>$2.50 has been deposited into your account.

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>>86214239
Why is NuPennywise so cute anons?

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>>86224813
Only stupid shit like this makes me laugh nowadays.

>>86216631
>AUNTY BOI
almost spilled my drink

>be in 6th grade
>after school
>waiting for bus
>go into classroom
>decide pants are too hot
>pull off pants
>comfy shorts underneath await
>pants just past dick n balls area
>door opens across room
>qt crush walks in
>awkward reaction
>sperg out with 'don't worry i don't have anything on underneath'
>she awkwardly laughs and grabs shit and leaves in a hurry
>thefuckhaveievendone.mpg
pretty bad day so far
>go outside
>busses are gone
>F U C K
>don't really know what to do
>go to office to call parents
>sperg out after i can't get a hold of them
>begin crying and shit
>school counselor bro comes out and sees me sperging
>helps me with a ride home
>have somewhat odd conversation about the highschool by my house
>drops me off
>parents were home all along
fuck that day

at least no naughty touching happened

>>86216957
Great, now I'm rock hard
Pls more details

I'm sure as a kid I left someone locked under a manhole we were all dipping into for dares in ab abandoned garage. not deliberately, just because I was literally like seven and I think I forgot someone was down there when we decided to leave. not sure that it happened but I always get the horrible feeling it did

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>>86218105

>door is push to open
>pull it

>>86215050
Fucking kek

>>86215050
Good shit.

>>86225329
christ that's terrible anon. Was it one of your friends? fuck that'd be terrifying lol

>>86225432

no I was just a nobody of the crew of kids only even there because my sister knew them, in fact they picked on me when my sister wasn't nearby

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>>86215384
>this comment

>Me and a friend leave class to get a drink
>At drink fountain is a door that is never opened, doesn't even have a handle, just a lock
>It's open
>My fucked up 15 year old minds thinks "that shouldn't be open"
>I shut it
>Wasn't even curious to what it looked like inside
>Friends tries to stop me but it's too late
>Says he saw someone in there
>We laugh and walk away
>Never spoke about it again for a couple of years

> hopped back yard fences
> shit in random persons back yard
> ran away

>>86225930
Pennywise is Indian?

>>86215050
I thought that was going to get sexual.

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anyone have a working link to the 4 minute clip from last night?

>>86227444
https://mega.nz/#!JagzjSgK!GzOf_IsAw1S033y6Jp67CXMQkBF7qXCiyXahHHs57UE

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>>86227983
>484 mb
Thanks for the link but goddamn this is gonna take a little while on my shitty internet

>>86214239
>Times you acted like Pennywise
When driving the pizza truck

The time I drew a poop swastika in the bathroom

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>>86214932
>tfw STILL don't know how to properly respond to this

>>86225370
fucking retard

>>86215384
it was litty af I couldn't stop pissing my pants (from fear)

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>be middle school
>friend introduces me to a cute girl
>she introduces herself and smiles
>all I can think to say is
>haha grape rhymes with rape!

>>86228773
Pennywise wouldn't do that

>>86215384
this is the kind of shitposting I want to see more of. it's all about effort, people.

>>86215050
Thanks for making my day anon

>have to use bathroom
>someone else is in their
>pee on them as they walk out
SOMEBODY STOP ME

I shot a load into a quesadilla and gave it to the school bully once in freshman year. Told him it was way too spicy and there's no way he could handle it. He took the bait and people literally praised me for doing this

Everytime I post in a thread it literally dies right after

>>86234406
Still fucking disgusting. What a subhuman you are.

>>86234671
We're all disgusting down here

>Whip
>don't Nay Nay
I'M OFF THE WALLS

>>86214239
>4th grade
>fail test because I'd rather be drawing robots killing each other with machine guns
>have to get test signed by mom
>don't even show that bitch because she's a bipolar, manic depressive and at 10 years old, I understand what's what
>"Georgie-Forgie" the signature with my child-like penmanship
>teacher calls me over later in front of several other kids (mostly girls, including my crush)
>"Pennywise, is this your mom's signature?"
>look her dead in the eyes
>"Yes."
>never got in trouble

>>86229046
say it back, dumbass. bonus points if you form a proper sentence and hold eye contact.

>>86214239
>be happy teenager with school friends at local swimming pool
>have crush on one elusive girl for months and get to spend hours chasing and racing each other around
>wave machine comes on
>bobbing bodies, everywhere
>girl keeps crashing her back into my front as we're laughing
>girl noticed something hard on impact and gives a funny look but continues bobbing away
>bob into a corner where it's more shallow
>girl looks down with smirk
>when she least expects it, show her my deadlights and feed off her fears
>we never spoke about it again

>>86214932
a girl asked me out in middle school but i said no because i thought she was messing with me but then she seemed genuinely sad after so maybe she was serious

>>86215050
not that funny

>>86215306
SHE LIES!!!E

>Be me, just clowning around with some kids.
>Reveal myself to be a space spider
>Disappoint everyone.

>>86216555
>used to eat breakfast at last second before school
>the rush would make my gut gurgle
>by second period I was emitting toxic gas with extreme effort required to hold it back
>spent a whole quarter of the year smoking out all the Stacy's that inconveniently were seated around me
>fear that they'll only remember me as the kid who smelled like shit

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>order a coffee
>request room for milk
>leave the store with no milk

what are you gotta do about it, faggot?

>Years ago I moved to a new school
>Thought I'd change up my personality and be the guy who just does random but cool stuff
>Brought a shit ton of balloons to hand out to everyone(I told the balloon man I wanted them in an off the wall pattern) he arranged them in an upside down triangle
>Despite wanting to change who I am, I'm still nervous as fuck on the first day
>realize I'm standing in the middle of the hallway with giant bundle of balloons
>Walk up to girl sitting by herself
>"Hey... You want a balloon."
>"uh, no that's okay."
>don't know what else to say so I stare at her for a good minute
>"T-Thanks"
>Thought it'd be funny if I did a shuck and jive before I left to ease the tension

>>86214239
>Forced a bunch of kids into a sewer
>A bunch of boys and one girl
>Made them fuck in front of me
>Sprayed one of the kids inhaler in my mouth and left

Losers.

>>86240777
if this is real ill kill myself for you

>work at blockbuster
>receive unrewound tape
>box it up and put it out for display

can't stop won't stop

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Nod to cute girl.
she says hi.

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>>86242334
THAT WAS MY SON YOU FUCK

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>>86236743

Is the movie worth watching. I was going to read the book but it's the size of a fucking phone book.

>>86242711
>Gays get beaten and their armpits bitten out
>Nigger get attacked by giant crows
>Kids have gangbangs in a sewer
>A giant turtle who vomits universes is god

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Comic Con scene leak when?

>>86236743
Shut the fuck up

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>>86215384
This made me kek

>>86231595
Dude shut up you don't even know him

>captcha asks me to select signs
>I select the signs but one storefront
>IT VERIFIES

>>86216191
Are you that boulder?

>>86216713
I can relate to this one.

>>86214239
when i got to the end of this video and didn't queef blood.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asm62bKZJH

>>86224856
https mega.nz/#!pUcxyaYA!oTtHq1ZTAjqryil_QKYzeREoS-pc6AsVZfR1dXQzopM

This it?

>be me
>starting high school
>try to make a name for myself
>I want to be known as "that kid with the balloons"
>I'll just give someone a balloon if they need it
>I need helium
>my mom likes making balloons so I steal it ad use it for my balloons
>whenever I hear something bad has happened I take this small little canister of helium and go into the bathroom to blow up the balloon. I then give it to people with a smiley face drawn on it
>only had red, yellow, blue and green balloons

>all of a sudden, a teacher dies one day
>everyone loved her
>take a few extra helium canisters and balloons
>it's gonna be a long day
>find a silver suit with orange pompoms
>I need to lighten the mood
>that teacher was great so I was going to go all out in order to make sure people don't go through this alone
>drop off a balloon for everyone who had her class
>pow kachow
>going out for lunch and see my crush crying on the steps to the school
>pull out balloon and walk up to her
>she looks at me and I can tell she's been crying
>gesture towards the balloon
>"here.....take it."
>she takes the balloon
>it ain't easy being a clown

>>86245091
YIKES!!

Gave me a good spookin!