What did they mean by a binding magical contract? What would

>>86030812
magic
ain't gonna explain shit

File: 1473063744424.jpg (1MB, 1623x2886px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1623x2886px

>nigga just stay in your room.
I wish I had done that instead of going to the cinema and watch one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises, seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though r-right
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

>>86031126
the count of monte cristo, God tier? who made this list?

File: 1446513297557.gif (963KB, 351x227px) Image search: [Google]

963KB, 351x227px

>>86031126

>>86030812
It's called a plot device anon-kun. Also it's magic, who cares?

>>86031126
Y'know, I thought maybe you were a fan of the books, but hated the moobies. Common complaint amongst book fans, myself included.
But nope, you hated the books too....
So, I gotta ask meself: why do people blindly follow trends, then get mad at the shallowness of said trends?
If you discover things on your own, I swear you'll be a much happier consumer of the various medias.
Unless you be trollin.
Then, well,
egg on MY face, pie in my eye
*squeezy horn sound effect*

>>86031207

half that god tier is sit, but TCOMC is not.

>>86030812
JK Rowling is terrible at world building. She hass a lot of neat ideas but they don't form a coherent world. And then there's just dumb unexplained shit like this because Harry Potter's entire narrative is built on conveniences

>>86032698
I know, thats why I was wondering who made the list

>>86032836
It's an old bait copy pasta. Stop questioning it and continue with the thread.
The opinions there are wrong on purpose.

>>86032698
monte cristo is basically the game of thrones of the 19th century, low-brow shlock entertainment

File: 1493045880855.jpg (18KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 480x360px

>>86030812
>Host games where fucking high school students face fucking dragons, killer mermaids, and carnivorous hedge mazes
>Spectators act shocked when one of the participants dies

Explain this shit.

File: Keke.jpg (318KB, 1028x772px) Image search: [Google]

318KB, 1028x772px

>>86031207
>>86031248
>>86032449

>>86033083
t. Reddit

I guess it's sort of like the unbreakable vow where the one breaking it simply dies. But yeah, probably should have explained it in the books at least.

because it's binding, and err...magical.

*brap*

>looks at you with this face

File: jk_rowling.jpg (237KB, 620x412px) Image search: [Google]

237KB, 620x412px

>>86033250

>>86033073
I reckon it's explained/implied in the books that the teachers never intend for the students to ever actually be in mortal danger. I can see how the movie really makes it seem like they don't give a shit since they have the fucking dragon break free and no one tries to help Harry.

File: jkrowling (1).jpg (58KB, 1200x675px) Image search: [Google]

58KB, 1200x675px

So wait
*tilts head*
You are saying
*Raises eyebrows*
that magic
*posts shit on twitter*
is fucking
*buys mansion*
BAD WRITING?

>first 3 books
>dumbledoore sees and knows everything and is pulling strings to set up challenges that help his students grow without them getting killed or maimed
>book 4 onwards
>dumbledoore is a bumbling idiot

>>86033073
I think they were shocked because they hadn't held the tournament in a long time? People definitely died in past tournaments though.

I was going to make a thread about something in the Potter universe.

What was the maze suppose to do in Goblet of Fire? Like the last thing to get to the chalice. What were the contestants suppose to fight against when Dumbdoor made it all spooky and shit. Was something actually in there or what?

Was the girl going to get eaten by the plants? Was the twilight guy going to get eaten if Harry didn't help or was it just suppose to be a maze to fight each other and whoever wins wins. Didn't understand the point of the maze

>>86035399
i think the plants eating people were made by the churka and not a part of the actual maze, i think the maze was all about being alone in the dark and lost

>>86033073
But the kid didn't die to any of that stuff, he was transported away and murdered by the main bad guy.

Can't blame them for being shocked when they took precautions but didn't know one of the teachers was a traitor.

>>86030812
It's almost like a series written for kids by a single mom isn't anywhere near as amazing as you thought when you were 8.

There are holes the size of Texas all over every story. And yet people were still dumb enough to think Snape was evil until the "big" reveal at the very end. If you didn't see what he was by book 3 at the absolute latest, you are terrible at comprehension.

>>86035399
It's all there in the books.

>>86036035
inconsistencies=/=holes

File: image.jpg (40KB, 408x336px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 408x336px

BARTY CROUCH

JOONYAAR

>>86031126
Swan Song is a pretty poorly written book, I thought the story was interesting but I would not place it in 'god-tier'.

>>86036297
best deatheater

>>86036297
He should have been played by Rowan Atkinson in full Blackadder mode.
Fuck the fourth film was so bad

>>86036439
I always found it funny that they made multiple war criminals/murderers into professors at these schools

>>86035399
In the book there were actual obstacles like sphinxes and giant spiders in the labyrinth but they cut all that

>>86036297
>starts running away

>>86031126
Only book on that list that I own is Hypersphere

File: 1501335545506.jpg (75KB, 604x453px) Image search: [Google]

75KB, 604x453px

>>86031126
Based "dullest franchises" poster

>>86035140
>first 3 books
>dumbledoore sees and knows everything and is pulling strings to set up challenges that help his students grow without them getting killed or maimed
He was totally clueless about a) Quirrell's plans in SS, b) the cause of the murders in CoS, and c) the fact that Sirius was a good guy in PoA. He wasn't in control at all.

>>86037293
First two yeah, but in PoA Dumbledore says shit to get them to turn the time turner back and "save two lives"

Dumblydoor saves Sirius in PoA, you numbskull.