SELL me this pen

>>85955785
Be honest, you've all imagined how you would sell the pen

>>85955785
>Congratulations, you have just been invited to this once in a lifetime opportunity to own the brand new LEO XL. This pen is made from top of the line liquid sapphire and precious metals from the northern peaks of the reply to this post or your mother will die in her sleep tonight

"Give me your autograph in the next five seconds and I'll give you $500. Also, i'll sell you this pen for $400".

>>85955925
fuck you

>>85955785
Can I finish eating first I haven't eaten anything today

>>85955925
posting

>>85955925

H

I hope she does. She's had a hard life.

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>>85955785
>write my name on your ass or I'll kill you, brother

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>>85955785
BUY THIS FUCKING PEN, YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKER MOTHERFUCKAAALALALALALALALAL

>>85955821
The nigga taught you how to do it in the beginning of the movie.

>>85955785
If you don't buy this fucking pen I'm throwing you onto the fucking floor and slamming your goddamn head sideways so I can set this pen into your ear like a golf tee and then I'm stomping it straight into your fucking cranium!
Now I can't do that if you buy this pen!
So do you want me to stomp this fucking

>>85956280
Well played

>it's one cent
Wow that was easy, now where's my cocaine

>>85955785
well for starters that pen have been on your bum and now you need to pay me to keep my silence , you can keep it.

>>85955925
>>85955925

kk

>>85955925
Supply and demand

>buys up global ink reserves

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>>85955785
<--

I got asked this for a job interview and it was the cringiest thing I've ever gone through to get a job

>>85956327
9 times out of 10 that shit wouldn't work

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>>85958473

>>85955925
fuck you asshole

>>85958473
I applied for a music store job and they tried this one me

Except they used a twinnings teabag.

>>85955925
you fuck lmao

>>85955925
jokes on you I hate my mother

>>85955925
Kek

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>>85955925
Wew

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>>85955925

>>85955925
Jokes on you fagot she's already dead

if you reply to that post you are the cancer killing this place

>>85955925
Reddit

>>85960047
Yet by replying you're keeping her alone instead of gracefully letting her die in her sleep.
Congratulations you played yourself.

>>85955925
NO MOMMY NO

>>85955925
kek

>>85960471
But you replied anyway, you fucking faggot

>>85955925
z

>>85955925
Ahaha

>>85960533
>he doesn't go on reddit
thank god summer is almost over.

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>>85958620
Also worked at a music store job and also got asked this lol. Didn't sell shit

>>85956280
Oh god

>>85958473
>Americans

>>85955925
lol

"reddit hates this pen"

/thread

>>85955785
BUY you this pussy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dzM77PS8H8

>>85955925
god fucking dammit

>>85955925
fuck you I was wondering why this had so many replies

>>85955925
Gosh damn it

Umm excuse me but is this the r/4chan containment thread?

>>85955925

>>85955925
Uu

>>85955925
Sold

>>85955925
Fucking Anon

>>85961620
ANON'S PEN CONFIRMED FOR BEING THE GREATEST THING EVER
I ARRIVED TO THIS CONCLUSION BY MYSELF!

>>85955925
Kek faggot

>>85955925
That's a really nice pen, Mr. Salesman

>>85955925
Fuck you

Fuck this movie for making this stupid meme. And fuck the people like >>85958620 that try to be clever cunts with it when hiring people.

For real, though... is there even a profession these days that requires you to actively sell shit? Who the fuck goes up to customers at a music store and is like "hey man, you should buy this shit because _____". No, people go because they know what they want. No one browses for shit like they're bored and looking for a way to waste money.

Maybe car dealers... but it's more than likely they were going to buy something anyway if they're even there.

>>85955925
Bur

>>85956323
underrated post

>>85955925
ill buy the pen

>>85955925
dang it

>>85955925
Dumb nigger faggot!! Should have said
>Buy my pen or your mother will die in her sleep tonight

>>85955925
fu

>>85955925
reply

>>85955925
hjfgdfgfdg

>>85955925
Jokes on your, I've got immunity

>>85955925

not today, faggot

>>85955925
You're a fucking cunt and you're going to hell.

>>85955925
well played

>>85955925
Öis

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>>85955785

It writes upside down! The astronauts use it Jerry!

>>85955925
Fuggitt

>>85964828
>Who the fuck goes up to customers at a music store and is like "hey man, you should buy this shit because _____"

Big ticket stores is full of pushy salespeople because they get commissions. Ironically I have never been more annoyed than when out looking for expensive clothes and high end audio equipment.

The only fucking reason I'm at a brick and mortar store is to test the things you're selling, I don't want some cunt breathing down my neck trying to upsell me.

>>85956323
hahahha

>>85955925
Fuck you

>>85955925
ffff

>>85955925
y-you too

>>85955925
MADMAN

>>85955925
k

>>85955925
Fuck

>>85955925
Fuck you

>>85956286
Such a great fucking movie.

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>>85955785
i'm no a jew.
i'm not going to jew you.
you don't need any pen.
nobody's needing any pen nowadays.
now,
do you know that phone's batteries are exploding these days?
do you what is a safe battery?
with a garantee?
do your people have cellphones too?

>>85966476
fuck off commie

>>85955925
UUUU

>>85955925

>>85955925
well shit

>>85955925
>see all these replies
>"oh, what could anon be saying"
>read post
>forced to reply even though it's a bullshit curse

>>85958620

It's a music store ffs, i'de let the customer sniff the teabags on their own and not bother them until they need help or try to touch the real expensive teabag

>>85955925
That would actually work irl

>>85966134
that's a nice pen

>>85958473

What's the right answer if you get asked this in a job interview?

>>85955925
youre pretty good

>>85964828
You sound like a 15 year old with no real life experience.

>>85967375
Ask the customer why he is in the market for a pen. Will it primarily be used for writing, drawing? What kind of budget does he have to work with?

>>85955925
I'll take 3!

>>85967375
>>85967750
>Ask the customer why he is in the market for a pen. Will it primarily be used for writing, drawing? What kind of budget does he have to work with?
This is the correct answer. I actually had to do this shit in a job interview. You're supposed to find out what kind of pen they'd be interested in. The actual characteristics of the pen they might give you don't matter.

>How long have you been in the market for a pen?
>Two months? May I ask why you're looking for a new pen? Was there something wrong with your last one?
>It ran out of ink? Well, I do have this BigPen4U which actually has nearly twice the ink capacity of a normal pen. Is there anything else that would be a deciding factor for you?
>Why as a matter of fact it does have a narrow grip and isn't overly decorated.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgCxt5gfaqw

>>85955925
Keeeek

>>85967375
They did it when I interviewed for a telemarketer job and all they cared was that you tried - being too shy or embarrassed to try to sell it was the only way to fail.

>>85955925
nigs be cigs.

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Sell me this guy.

>>85970077
It's a big guy

>>85955925
lalalala

>>85970077
He has a lot of loyalty.

>>85955925
K

>>85970077

You don't get to sell friends.

>>85955925
fug

>>85955925
I'll take four.

>>85956280
I'll buy one.

>>85955925

>>85955785
this pen is a pen
buy it

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>>85955785
SELL me this meme

>>85972841
it would be extremely painful

>>85972929
you're a big salesman

>>85972970
for jew

>>85955925
gAH

Buy this pen or your mother will die in her sleep tonight.

>>85965564

no that can't happen!
i'll buy the pen please

>>85973239
wold

>>85955925
(you)

>>85955925
Welp

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Would someone please tell me: why would you reply to one of those "your mother will die in her sleep" posts? Why are there always hundreds of faggots replying to those and essentially ruining threads? Are you just memeing with the new version of "the game" or are you seriously afraid something might happen if you won't reply?

I'm seriously baffled every time I see one of those and the amount of people choosing not to ignore them.

>>85955925
you are a horrible human being

>>85955925
(you)

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>>85973700

>>85955925
F

>>85955925
bully

>>85973700

I always assume it's spics. They are superstitious people.

>>85955925
nigger

>>85955925
Fuck you m8

>>85964828
I work at a pool store and when people come in asking for a pool cleaner I first get them to consider a robot and then pull them towards our top of the line Polaris by basically trashing the other ones we have and telling them they'd waste their money. Customer feels like I'm giving them an inside tip and helping them save money long term. Very satisfying to take someone away from a $15 vacuum head to a $1400 robot

>>85955925
You got me

@85955925
This is not a reply. I want the bitch dead.

>>85955925
nigger

SELL me this thread.

Every day, forever.

>>85955925
my mom didn't call me in 3 days fuck you

>>85955925

>>85955925
Fug :DDD

>>85955925
Well played. Well played.

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>77 replies and counting

>>85955925
KYS

>>85956280
ill buy one

>>85955925
u fucking asshole

For the love of God, someone sceencap this shit.

>>85955925
shit

>>85970077
..CIA? put him in my pocket, I'll call it in

>>85955925
faggot

>>85955925
kek

>>85955925
oof

>anon just sold 82 pens
All my sides

>>85955925
aw shit ok

>>85955925
*buys the pen*

>>85973700
>Are you just memeing with the new version of "the game"
that's essentially what it is, everyone just wants to feel like they're "in" on the joke

>>85956280
*buys another pen*

>>85973700
4chan is populated with retards, shocker I know.
same thing with that stupid candlejack maymay, shit should have died 12 years ago.

>>85955785
*takes pen away from dicaprio*

Try writing

>>85955925
JUST

>>85955925
Lel kek

>>85955925
reply

>>85973700
How the hell would you know the amount of people ignoring theme? Anyways, people are too fragile on the psyche, superstitious. They DONT know what would happen if they dont reply - thats why they do.

>>85976148
Haha whoa! You made that up all by yourself?

>>85955925
bastard

>>85955925
Replying bc i feel left out.

>>85976129
Dont cut yourself on all this edge, anon.

>>85964828
I worked in the vidya section of a toy shop. I got to influence sales all the time. People come in and you can't influence that but you can influence what they buy and how much of it.

>don't buy that rubbish that has popular cartoon character on it. Buy harvest moon. Bitches love harvest moon and I see you have a 10 year old bitch with you.

>>85974498
Or black people

>>85955925

cunt

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>>85955925
that's it, you're reported

>>85974722
You cant buy yourself a soul, tho.

>>85973700
Most channers are under aged, awkward, edgy and want to fit in by reply to memes.

>>85955925
fag

>>85956280
fuck off

>>85976499
>darn normies tryan fitting in with my precious anonymous board
sure, buddy

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>>85956323

Buythepen you fuggincocksucka whatthefug

>>85955925
kys

>>85976371
don't be so butthurt for getting called out, retard.

>>85955925
...

>>85955925
He sold the pen the madman

>>85976894
>calling people names
>thinks I'm the one who's butt hurt
whatever you say, mr virgin

>>85973700
I've always wondered the same thing anon

>>85977012
>irony: the post

>>85964828

This.

This is absolutely retarded. I worked at a music shop. The boss here hired me because he trusted for my knowledge of the different instruments and their caracteritics.

The only rule we have is to be honest about the product we sell. If there is a cheaper alternative about the same quality I always tell the client. I won't lie about the caracteristics of the prodcts just to sell one, and never pressure anyone to to buy even if they spend ages trying the instruments.

A musician who felt pressured into buying something won't ever come to the store again. On the opposite side, once he realises the advice you give is meant to really help him and not sell our stuff he won't go to another shop in his whole life.

The reputation the store gained among the musicians allows it to make way more money at the long term even when prices can somehow be 10% above what you find on the internet

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>>85955785
>SELL me this pen

You know who doesn't buy pens? Nazis.

>>85955925
I knew it was coming, yet I kept on reading.....fuck you

>>85955925
Well just in case.

>>85961620
Underrated kek

>>85964828
>is there even a profession these days that requires you to actively sell shit?
Yes, plenty. Really any sales position can fit this depending on the manager/owner and their desires/strategy.
>Who the fuck goes up to customers at a music store and is like "hey man, you should buy this shit because _____"
Some salesmen do, and it can work.
>No, people go because they know what they want. No one browses for shit like they're bored and looking for a way to waste money.
Are you a brainlet? This is the opposite of what is true. Yes, people do go to stores not knowing exactly what they want. Some people do browse for shit like they're bored and looking to waste money. Do you really think everyone besides us shops like an autist? There are all sorts of people out there, and subsequently, all sorts of salesmen adapted to them.

>>85955925

Reported.

>>85955925
Kek

>>85955925
fooking spot on

>>85970077
Don't worry no charge for him

>>85955925
kek

>>85955925
Herp
And
>>85956280
Derp

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>>85955925

>>85955925
.

>>85955925
I SAID A COLT 45 AND 2 ZIG ZAGS

>>85955925
10/10

>>85955925
>>85955925
goooooooddamn

>>85955925
tit

>>85955925
sold

>>85955925
nice

>>85955925
fug

>>85956280
oky

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>>85955925

>>85955925
EY WASSAMATTA WHICHU? YOU THINK IMMA RISK IT FOR MY MA?

>>85955925
fuck you

>>85955785
Fuck you. I can get 5 pens for a dollar.

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>>85976836
Buy the *fucking* pen, you fucking cocksucker.

>>85955925

Well, sir, you got yourself a buyer!

>>85956280
>>85955925
cheap sales tactic, would not hire

0/10

>>85955925
u got it fuck u

>>85955925
fuck you

>>85955925
fu

>>85955925
PICKLE RICKKKK

>>85955925
The absolute state of /tv/

>>85955925

KYS

>>85955925
So this is what you mean when you guys say tv is reddit

>>85955925
Fuck you

>>85955925
damn

>>85956280

dsfdf

>>85955925
fuck you

>>85955925
Cunt

>>85964828
The thing that's stupid about selling a basic Bic pen they hand you is that they want to see how good you are at bullshitting. Sales is like 50% bullshitting people into thinking they want something.

>>85955925
fuck you

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>>85955925
>>85956280
Kek, I'll buy the pens.

>>85955925
how much?

>>85955925
u got me fgt

>>85955925
Funny

>>85955925
And now you anon who posted this cancer, reply to me or your family will exile you.

>>85955925
Nigga why would you :(

>>85955925
Hm

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>>85955925
fucker

>HEY GUYS IF WE DON'T RESPOND TO THIS ANONYMOUS POSTERS POST THIS SET IN STONE EVENT WILL DEFINITELY HAPPEN BECAUSE THAT ANON IS GOD

>>85955925
(you)

>>85955925
well done

>>85955925
i dun known it

>>85956280
fuck off

>>85956280
fuckeroni offeroni

>>85955925
Just

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>>85955925

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>>85955925

>>85981657
>>85955925
Not gonna risk it nigga, what if

>>85955925
Faggot

>>85978188
Anyone got the story behind this>>85955925
Bastard

>>85982421
picture makes me kinda sad, dont know why

>>85982631
a girl is sucking cock on camera for money, of course it's sad. we fap to it, but it's still sad.

>>85982741
sometimes i cant watch some videos because i find them depressing (inb4 r9k)

>>85955785

>Hello sir, ehh excuse me what's your name ?
>Oh Jason, can I ask you a question ?
>Do you ever use a pen ?
>In your life do your use a pen often? what do you looking for a pen ?
>If his answer is negative, say good bye and leave
>if it's positive proceed to present the pen

>>85955925
well played sir

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>>85955925

>>85956323
>>85976836

The biggest trick the devil ever pulled was to convince the world this pen was actually for sale.

>>85982631
>>85982741
>>85982944
it's because youre not sucking it.

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>>85955925
fuckimg cunt

>>85983702
i think it's the other way

>>85955925
shit

>>85955925
you fucker

>>85955925
You're a dumb nigger.

>>85956280
How much would it be?

>>85955925
ah jeez, make it 10 pops!

>>85973239
stfu

>>85955925
10/10

>>85955925
Fuuuuuck

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>>85955925

Sorry, homo.

>>85955925
>>85955925
F

>>85955925
Are you kidding me

>>85955925
fock you

>>85955925
include me

>>85955925
lmfao

>>85955925
Go to hell.

>>85955785
I'd paint it green and call it a pickle rick pen

>>85955785
This was such a sad ending. Nobody knew how to sell him the pen.

>>85955925
Hell god baby damn no!

>>85955925
reeeee

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>>85955925
SOLD!

>>85955925
wewewewewew

>>85955925
kek

>>85955925
I gotta have this pen

>>85955785
So I have this oscar and a pen...

>>85955925
fuck

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>>85955925

>>85955785
>>85955925
somehow I feel like the regulatory authorities would take offense at such sales tactics

>>85955785
>puts legs behind head and inserts it into asshole

See that grip and how tight it is around that pen while I push it in and out of my biopussy? I bet you would love to feel that wrapped around your throbbing member. Well guess what you can! You just have to buy this pen.

>>85955925
END YOUR LIFE

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>>85955925

>>85955785
>buy this pen or your mother will die in her sleep tonight

>>85973700
From the way they post, I imagine most of them are lurkers who don't post otherwise. That's why their posts are so shallow and... memey. They're lurkers who don't know how to interact with people, and they're likely underage.

>>85955925
Bunch of superstitious fucks in here

>>85986179
its one guy bumping the thread on different ips. like dubbs bumps.

>>85986030
matthew gray gubler looks terrible

>>85955925
Motherfucker

>>85955925
Woah! Put me in the screenpicture for reddit when you share this new meme!

>>85955925
Nigger

>>85986406
Maybe, that's certainly easy to do on a phone. That too would explain the simplicity of the posts.

>>85955925
kys

>>85955925
fuk u

>>85955925
for fucks sake

>>85955925
nice one brotha

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/qa/ is here

>>85955925
Dammit.

>>85955925

kek

>>85955925
Reply or you and everyone you love dies in their sleep tonight

>>85955925
fuarck

>>85955925
k

>>85955925
Mommy no!

>>85955785
It's .... it's a good pen made out of top materials...

>>85955925
Hey, you stole this. I did this first on /vp/

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>>85988661
:(

>>85955925
B

>>85955925
no plw

>>85955925
Just in case

Toastin in le ebin bred

if you buy my pen ur penis will get bigger

>>85955925
Fuck you sir

>>85964828
Being in sales is the worst shit ever
I've worked in a shoe store that also sold handbags and cheap accessories like earrings and the such but the store itself was 99% for shoes

So when I didn't sell any accessories or handbags because I'm a guy who has no idea about those things, I'd get shit for it

They didn't like my "People come in here to buy shoes, all this other stuff is a just an afterthought on their behalf"

I've also worked in an electornic store for a year which was a mixed bag since the staff itself was great but the customers were so retarded, I just couldn't take it
If they had a problem with their purchase, they'd always come back to the store instead of the company that gave them the warrenty
"I bought this phone here and it's not working. Fix it"
"We don't fix phones here, just sell them. I'd be happy to help to find the offical place that can help you"
"No, I bought this here which means YOU are responisble for it so fix it"

>>85955925
looks like a solid sales pitch desu

>>85955925
Sounds like a deal

>>85983558
You don't understand, Agent Kujan, it was Keyser Söze, the Devil himself. How do you sell the Devil a fucking pen?

What if it don't write?

>>85955925
hmm

>>85955785
>you see this pen? I have this picture of Emma Watson fingering her asshole with this pen. Here's a picture, the pen, and the authenticity papers to prove this happened. Here's a picture of me wearing a shoe on my head with a timestamp to prove I was there. You can buy this pen now and bask in all its glory or I can give it to charity. Also a portion of your purchase will go to a charity of your choice. Buy it now for $300.