What house are you bros?

>>85869767
Whatever house numales on twitter align with "racists, bigots, homophobes, transphobes" when they have no argument.

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The only house with a fucking sword

>>85869810
Slytherin?

>>85869810
god damn you sound like such a loser. W E W

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>>85869877
Dubs confirm

when I did the pottermore thing I got slytherin.
harry potter houses are like zodiac signs for """"smart""'" girls.

>>85869767
Wouldn't a lion destroy all these other house animals? Like how big a snkae we talking here?

>>85869767
I always tried to identify as a fucking witch hunter.

perhaps because I was contrarian and liked to picture myself as an edgy bastard.

prolly hit up ravenclaw for the emo girls

>>85869767
Someone please post that photoshop collage of Hermione if she were in the other houses.
Her Slytherin one is fucking perfection.

>>85869941
Or genuine personality types and mental temperament

>"You see, I'm a slytherin so this really appeals to me"

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Roooobot HOUSE!

>>85869996
The normal one or the lewd one?

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>>85869996
>>85869767

>>85869978
>being this edgy and contrarian
are you me?

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>>85869996

>>85870003
how is that any different from
>"You see, I'm a sagittarius so this really appeals to me"?

>>85870029
The normal ones look the best I always hate these.

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>>85870089
fag

>>85870021
The latter

>>85870125
>DAE dark and hopeless
Whoever directed later HP movies was a hack.

>>85869943
If we are talking the stereotypical reasons behind the animals a snake doesnt fight. They strike you and let you die from poison.

WHERE'S THE AUTISTIC PASTA??

>>85870108
>posts it again
You have shit /a/ tier taste. Normal is best.

>>85869941
Did the Patronus quiz on Pottermore. Not a single question about my happy memories, which is all a Patronus is. Instead:
>choose: leaf, twig, stick
>choose: blade or spade
>choose: shadow or light
Fuck Pottermore. And I got a mouse as a result.

>>85870180
>this legit pleb letterboxd reddit imdbcore 13 year old babby argument
2/10 made me reply autist.

>>85869904
Like, ugh

>>85870125
That film is pure kino and subverted the entire style of the series. Yates is honest and doesn't care about fags who wanted the same damn thing.

>>85870268
Where's the lie? Or are you going to defend those shit shows?

>Ravenclaw
Is this one good? I've never sat through a full HP movie. Except Fantastic Beasts.

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>>85869767
Ravenclaw reporting in.

Harry Potter is my guilty pleasure.

Hufflepuff. Easily the most chill house

>>85870125
If the movie was being rated as a dark magical travelogue it'd be 11/10

>>85870358
Second worst house. Ravenclaw is for nerds like Hermione and conspiracy autists like Luna. For all their brains, they don't beat Slytherin at anything. Or even Gryffindor.

>>85870396
>Luna
>worst
that's a funny way of spelling best

>>85870358
You're missing out on some prime loli Emma. The movies themselves are simply "ok". Nothing to write home about, but if you're bored and have nothing to do for a day, it's a perfect filler.

>>85870341
Back to /r/movies you can't detect kino

>>85870392
That's what the book and film was for that half of the story.. that one is so good, rewatch it.

>>85870478
This >>85870376 is kino.
DH is trash.

We can all agree that Half-Blood Prince movie is far superior to the book, right?

>>85870435
All of them are good to great they are better than most shit posted on here.
>>85870358
If you can't sit through a 2 and a half hour movie don't bother. Every single HP is better than Fantastic Beasts

>>85870512
>stoic poker face Snape with mouth open throughout the whole movie
No.

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>>85870506
Both are kino faglord get some chops. Film doesnt hace to adhere to you wanting the same thing. So is >>85870512
Yes its pure kino

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Dumping.

>>85870547
>crippling autism.jpg

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>>85870580

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>>85870616

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>>85870125
The movies all get darker until the end of the last one

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>>85870643

>>85869767
Hufflepuff master race.

Nobody has posted it yet?

>>85870651
I know after voldy dies there's more black until harry dies.
The first two are almost all tan orange and blue. Not that it matter the films look good but people always meme about the others color palletes.

>>85869767
When I'm drunk and take the test I get put in Griffindor.

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1

You have 10 seconds to explain why Hermione wasn't sorted into Ravenclaw

What a gay fucking franchise

>>85870385
Never feel guilty over what brings you pleasure, m8.

>>85870385

Why are you feeling guilty about enjoying HP? Who hurt you anon

JISMFACTORY!

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2

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>>85869767
>Good
>Evil
>Literally-who
>Girls
With that being said...

>>85870693
I mean after voldy comes back in the graveyard

the one without manface transexual emma watson desu

>>85870714
>a-at least the books were good though!

>>85870245
fag

>>85869767
Huff le Puff. Blaze it, my magical negro. Best house with all the weed, close to kitchen and nice gals.

Slytharyan

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>>85870714
t. star wars fan or worse
Lotr and HP are great

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3

>>85869767
Why wasn't Ron in hufflepuff and Hermione in Ravenclaw?

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>>85870774
Nigga, you gay.

>tfw did pottermore and got ravenclaw

am i just a pretentious pseudo-intellectual cuck?

>>85870824
Hermiome researched.beforehand and wanted to be in gryffindor. She had traits of a gryffindor and a true gryffindor. Just becayse she's snart doesn't mean she's ravenclaw. Mcgonagall and Dumbeldore are smart and all brave too.

>>85870824
because then all the main characters couldn't hang out in one area at any time

So have I got this right

Gryfindor = beady anglos who are for equality and muggle mixing
Slytherin = Racist but successful anglos
Ravenclaw = Intellectual/Autistic anglos
Hufflepuff = Retarded anglos

>>85870721
>>85870722
Objectively, the story is basically for kids, the setting is fairly weak and doesn't hold up to scrutiny, and the Harry Potter fandom is completely cancerous;

But something keeps me coming back. I re-read the books once a year, usually over the course of a week or so, and always feel self-conscious about it. I also own a nice collection of HP paraphernalia that I hide from everyone.

HP did help me to get my first gf in High School, so I guess there is that.

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>>85870833
You right but he's either baiting or an actual hater or faggot, also checked

>>85870861
Hufflepuff are the fun one. You just know that when they go back to their commonroom, they're just smoking up and having orgies and shit.

>>85870881

more like they put on their furry suit and write on their blog about how they're not accepted by the other houses

>>85870108
I wanna fug Slytherin Hermoine

>>85870865
>scrutiny
It's a wizard dystopia she wanted gilliam to direct, that's the explaination. Time travel thing is moot they dont change anything and buckbeak never dies.

HP would be a lot more interesting as a character if he chose Slytherin.

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Any of you fags ever read this?

>>85870842
You could also just be really weird/autistic.

Ravenclaw gets the weirdos and the genius in equal measure.

>>85870916
I mean, for me it's more how muggles completely miss the existence of the magical world.

How the fuck do muggles not see anything on thermal imaging, fucking satellite cameras, etc. We have catalogued nearly every inch of the Earth's surface, someone would have noticed SOMETHING.

And Wizards are so woefully inept with technology I seriously doubt they understand what a satellite even is; much less use magic to hide from one.

And that's just the tip of the damn iceberg. There are a lot of things that require magic hand-wave in the setting.

Gryfindor = Reddit
Slytherin = 4chan
Ravenclaw = Twitter
Hufflepuff = tumblr

>>85870850
Then what's the fucking point.
Yeah, I get that every house doesn't require every student to be exactly the same.
But it just makes Gryffindor look like "The Good one" of the houses.
Just like how Slytherin is "The bad one".

Therefore no one should care about the other two.

>>85870258
lol.

>>85870683
i'm getting anxious...

>>85871100
Are you really this dense and or buttblasted that slytherin is the rival to gryffindor and get shit on? They won the house cup 6 years in a row before harry got there. Everyone in the school knows they are the only houses that matter like the yankees red sox lol
Harry is able to choose bc the sorting is based on you personally

>>85870960
>reading methods of autism by elizer yidkikesky
yes

>>85871100
It's not that black and white.

For instance, Gryffyndors defining trait is "brave," not "good."

You could be a total fucking prick and get into Gryffyndor just because you are also brave.

You could have a heart of gold and get into Slytherin because you are also ambitious. Merlin was a Slytherin, as an example.

The real House guide is:
Gryffyndor: Bravery
Slytherin: Ambition
Hufflepuff: Loyalty
Ravenclaw: Intelligence

Whichever of those traits MOST describes you (and what your personal wish is) have more effect on your House than anything else. Hermione might be the smartest student, but her bravery "score" or what have you was higher than her intelligence; add to that she WANTED to be placed in Gryffyndor and there you go.

The movies do a terrible job of explaining what the Houses actually mean.

>>85870385
Peter Pettigrew was in Gryffnidor you pleb.

>>85870991
IIRC isn't there some charm that is more or less the same thing as an SEP field? That's a good enough explanation for me.

>>85871738
He is in Gryffinndor in that image you idiot

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I'm in one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."


I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

>>85871976
took you long enough

>>85872115
>you

Its more than one

>>85870960
Complete shit.

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I always wanted someone to just rock up to hogwarts with an assault rifle and just blast these kids

That would be a movie I would pay double to see

>>85872161
No it isn't. And you'd best stop doing it because it's a bannable offense.

>>85872290
Not him but there is more than one shitposter on /tv/ big dog

>>85869767
what's the point of the house system when the protags are all in gryiffindor
you might as well just have Gryffindor vs Slytherin and forget the other two even exist

>>85872413
Its the megaautist 80% of the time. Not that anon.

>>85872497
Gryffindor = Middle class
Slytherin = Traditionalist upper class / aristocrats
Hufflepuff = Lower-class / plebs
Ravenclaw = Detached academics

It's a metaphor for class warfare.

>>85869943
Realistic-speaking, lions are fucking useless. Tigers would ravage them, and a python could kill one easily.

Pottermore gave me Gryfindor

I personally would probably enjoy Hufflepuff the most though

>>85872566
I really enjoy seeing the givposter get banned. It gives me sexual pleasure.

>>85869810
that's obviously Slytherin, don't act like you don't know that

>>85871976
hey you're not wrong! they are just movies/books for children anyway

>>85869767
Slytherin, of course.

According to Pottermore it's always Slytherin for me but I disagree. I'm way more of Hufflepuff person.

>>85870651
MUUUURPHHHH

This is so retarded. The houses have no subtlety


If you're a douche you're Slytherin, if you're a fag you're Hufflepuff, if you're a nerd you're ravenclaw and everyone else is griffendor.

>>85871976
I was worried you might not show up anon, are you feeling ok?

>>85869926
>>85869877
it's a really gay looking sword

>>85869877
I'd rather be fucking Hermoine.

>>85875287
There are a few nice Slytherins. Tonks was Slytherin.

>>85871625
So basically Slytherins are alphas running the wizard wall street. Gryffindor are just admirable people. Hufflepuff more like hufflecuck. And Ravenclaw are all the worthless nerds.

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I'm not your bro you fucking numale

>>85871976
your fucking late

>>85870388
>>85870677
Based Hufflepuff gang. The only house not full of autists, yuppie offspring and teachers pets.

>>85877780
OK you hick.

>>85877780
t. Cletus

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>>85869767

>>85878033
*sips tea*

>>85869767
>Slither house is a snake
>Raven house is a raven
>Griffin house is a... lion

What did they mean by this?

>>85878218
Favoritism and bad symbolism. Hufflepuff's a fucking weasel.

>>85878105
the fuck is an ilvermorny?

>>85878741
North American version of Hogwarts.