How's your screenplay?

I've tried to write a screenplay before but I always get mired in the formatting between the different types of text you're supposed to use for establishing the scene, how much information you're supposed to give, etc

I've heard to just look at really basic scripts like trashy romantic comedies to get the basics down for that stuff, any experience with that?

>>85856758
There are no real rules. Stop writing formulaic screenplays and we'll stop seeing formulaic films. Here's JC Chandor's All is Lost script. https://assets.documentcloud.org/documents/880231/all-is-lost-script-final.pdf

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Today was a productive day.

>>85856911
This made me laugh really hard
Is it supposed to be unintentionally funny?

>>85856758
I was having the same problem before, so I read the script for The Neon Demon which is obviously a very visual film to see how they handle such intricate and specific detail in the script.
Helped me understand a lot. It seems like it's more important that you have a message or key idea than it is to have specific shots or dialogue in mind.
Most of it will be changed if it ever got made into a film, so don't fret over details.

Currently writing it. On page four. Finished the outline and treatment. I've run shows in the past, but this will be my first feature length screenplay. To anyone just starting out, remember: organization is key. It may seem cool to just put the rubber to the road, but without priper organization, you'll burn yourself out or end up with a mess. I use Celtx to write my projects, because it's free, has all the organization built in, and allows for collaboration. Jesus Christ I sound like a shill

>>85856911
>Everyone goes to the vent.
>They open the vent.
>They look inside the vent.
>They stand back.
>They stare at the vent.

lmao you cant be for real

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>>85856911

>>85856911
Is this supposed to be like a Sharknado type thing?

>>85857042
I think he's just venting

I've written a handful of features and shorts, but eventually gave up. Screenplays are so oddly specific, and let's face it, you're not going to get it made. You have a better chance of writing a novel and getting it published. At the end of the day, even if you're a good writer, and somehow wrote a good script, a studio isn't necessarily interested in what you wrote and one of the top questions they ask is "have you written anything else" because they always have a narrow idea of what they're looking to make.

>>85857033
>I've run shows in the past,

Find a job away from entertainment. Everyone is sick of your type.
You've done your lousy part, now step away and help those that are the complete opposite of you, those who've never stepped foot in the door.

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>>85856911
there's 52 pages of... this...

>>85857443
Every screenplay starts out bad. Even movies like The Room could've been salvaged through rewrites.

>>85857276
This
Best way to actually get things made is by getting a job as a writer's assistant. It might seem like lowly work, but as usual, getting to know people any making connections is the key to success. Writing things and sending them in expecting them to get made will not work.

Are there any books you would recommend?
I have a journalism background but I'm just getting started with this so I'd like some guidance.

>>85857519

oh hai

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>>85857362
>Everyone is sick of your type
wow, fuck you, I don't think you even know my type. I'm a cinematographer by trade you cunt. You think this industry is some commie paradise where everyone gets a turn to make their dream project? Fuck you, this industry is starved of good writers, and most of all, good ideas. Come up with a good idea, and do the work to get it in the right hands, and maybe then you'll get that chance, but it's then and only then and not a moment sooner unless you have money and just decide to make it yourself

>>85857575
Kinda depends what type of books. Do you not know any of the conventions at all? Or do you want more of the philosophical aspects of story?
The best thing to read is other scripts of your favorite movies.

>>85857575
Story by Robert McKee
The Anatomy of Story by John Truby
there ya go

I've tried to bring several of my ideas to life as a screenplay but I always just get frustrated and abandon the format. I just like writing prose way better lol.

>>85857768
You can do it anon! Just keep trying! Prose isn't too dissimilar - it's only a slightly different format.

I'm really trying, but I am not a writer.
I think I've got a good plot, some good characters, and a few good moments, but I can't string it all together.

What do you guys use to write?

Used to use celtx, but then they went all retarded a couple years ago and now I don't know where to go.

>>85857519
While I haven't written a screenplay myself, it seems impossible to actually write on a level this low for a whole screenplay without, you know, writing better

It seems more of a challenge to me to keep writing in a shallow way rather than write the way I'd want to

If that thing up there is sincere and not high effort bait or very "on purpose" then I'm actually surprised

>>85857820
Look up "Save the Cat" it might help you

>>85857825
How did they go retarded? I just started using it recently.

>>85857825
I use WriterDuet

>>85857963
They got rid of their desktop app and make you write through their website. They also separated everything and started charging in tiers.

>>85858064
Oh. That's dumb. Still, as someone starting out, it seems pretty usable to me.

obligatory

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHVqxD8PNq8

>>85858303
welp, time to add that too my watchlist

>>85856911
Eh i won't judge you too harshly cause I haven't seen it all but there's way too much exposition. Remember people can so emotions through facial expressions and also movies are a visual medium remember that

But hey keep it up

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>>85858560
I'd just like to interject for a moment. What you're refering to as Visual, is in fact, Audio/Visual, or as I've recently taken to calling it, Audio plus Visual. Visual film making is not the only facet of filmmaking unto itself, but rather another an important component of a fully functioning production system made useful by the audiovisual production medium industry, which utilities vital components comprising a full storytelling medium.

>>85858303
>Okay, thanks.

>>85856911
post more

>>85856870
Yeah I get that but I mean literally the formatting. Like how he differentiates between the dialogue, the setting, etc.

For example:

THE SCREEN IS BLACK.

We hear the sounds of gentle waves.

Then it goes to the dialogue. Are the all caps used to describe the setting itself and then additional information is lowercase after that?

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How'd I do /tv/?

>>85856975
Refn is an exception and doesn't write screenplays like a normal thing. He use a tableboard and picks and changes scenes in that with paper sticks. You are a reading a script written by a dislexic guy that hardly can read

Did Bale get all his front teeth knocked out? Shit looks weird as fuack

>>85859034
>dislexic guy that hardly can read
is that you refn

How do you Anons plan to get your screen plays out there and noticed.

>>85859528
I'm gonna film the fucking thing since i keep getting rejected.

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>>85859190
>>85859232
>>85859278
>>85859351
>>85859387
this is the heavily stylized action kino we've all been waiting for

>>85859528
I've never written anything good, so I don't worry about it. And neither should you until you've written something genuinely good.

It's half one of those things where, once you've spent the 10,000 hours into the craft, you'll know what to do with the script. You will have learned simply just by interacting with the amateur community.

>>85859190
>>85859232
>>85859278
>>85859351
>>85859387
>>85859683
This wording is fucking pure kino
Any Hollywood execs out here buy this man's screenplay now

>>85859592
do you know why youre rejected? What places to you submit your script to?

>>85859784
I've submitted to a few different agencies, and they never tell you why they just reject you.

Weinstein Company, American Zoetrope, Screenwriting contests.

I haven't submitted anything in like two years though cause i got sick of it.

>>85859857
Because I'm so inspired by John Core, I'll post the best script this shithole ever produced
Voila:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B6tIEdgKGhKXa1R5YXBNdnU1Q0U/edit

>>85858991
Is the dialogue also in blackness?
If so, I'd start wit just BLACKNESS
Then when you start describing visuals, use INT./EXT. and then FADE IN

Shooting the first scene tonight !

>>85859190
this is 100 percent pure unadulterated kino

>>85858303

Such a great film. Cried like a bitch.

>>85860303
Nice! What's it about anon? Give us some insight on the project. I have a project screening tonight at a Harkins theatre.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1DGPgYrqCEz2VrIi1nblzHryYDYzTHHTeyKm2G42fn4s/edit?usp=drivesdk I want to get into writing TV but every source just says the only way to get ahead by being a bootlicking toadie, this is just a snippet but I'd appreciate any feedback

>>85860784
If you want to write TV, then learn how to write a screenplay. Your format looks like a play, and it can be awkward to read.

>>85859778
"Is that morning wood."
My fucking sides.

>>85860152
funny and pretty well written, but far too cynical

>>85860784
I liked the N-word bit, but the format isn't right. The wordage is also off. Keep writing more. Don't think what you wrote is the best you can do because half of that was Big Bang Theory dogshit (sorry for being mean) keep practicing and google how to format a screenplay

>>85856911
Gave me a few good chuckles

>>85859232
>Chinese
>Deported back to Tokyo

Pure. Kino.

Hey guys I don't know how to write a screenplay, i just sort of wrote my idea down like a story/bullet points/play sort of mess lol. I've just been writing & adding shit to my idea the past 2years randomly whenever I think of something good to write down. It looks like a mess, but the story is all there, I've never really sat down to sort of fix or convert into screenplay format. The past week I have really been wanting to change that, since I'm pretty much done with the idea/story.

Could anyone here point me in the right direction of where I can learn the basics of screenwriting? Like a good website you've used in the past?

It's a "screenplay" but not really a screenplay. Purely something I made just because I felt Crank 1 and 2 are the greatest films to ever grace the cinema and I want a third one to exist, even in spirit. Please try and get this to Jason Statham as often as possible.

https://pastebin.com/2FgSsCi5

>>85856911
but was she loyle to her capo?

>>85862173
>just google screenplay format
>or youtube it, I used a random instructional video to get started on mine


Whats the story?

It's not a screenplay, because I'm not confident at writing dialogue, but I've been writing a pretty detailed outline of a buddy cop movie set in 1970s Detroit.

Detroit, 1971. The swinging sixties have passed and Detroit lies at the brink. Deeply wounded by the ‘67 riots, and suffering from white flight, urban decay, and widespread racial turmoil, the Motor City has become the Murder City. In a city at war with itself, social order is barely maintained by a depleted police force that has become deeply distrusted by the public. Crime lords grow increasingly ambitious, emboldened by court backlogs and an overwhelmed police force. Detroit has turned inside out, and everybody is vying for their slice of the pie before the whole city breaks down.
In the days and weeks prior to the film’s events, a wave of arson has swept through the city. Entire neighborhoods are being burned down and nobody knows why. People suspect these attacks are racially motivated, since they mostly occur in integrated neighborhoods. Still, many believe they’re gang related as, in every case, the suspects have been associated with organized crime. Nonetheless, the attacks seem too geographically deliberate to be independent events carried out by autonomous actors. Something smells fishy, though at the start of the film, law enforcement doesn’t believe in an overarching conspiracy.
When our story begins, Detective Arthur Freeman is pursuing Timothy O’Doul in a high-speed chase through Detroit’s East Side. O’Doul, a repeat offender, is suspected of transporting fire accelerants and abetting arson. After an exciting car chase, O’Doul’s luck runs out when a miscalculated turn results in his rear end colliding with a semi-truck. Forced to evacuate the now burning vehicle, O’Doul flees down a narrow alleyway where he is promptly apprehended by the fearless Black Detective.

Continue?

>>85862531
Yeah I have been since I came across this thread, I'm work googling shit when I should be working, i might get started when I get home tonight.


Super quick rundown.....

1977 nyc, about a serial killer who takes pride in his kills(professional,clean,slick,sauve). He sees his next victim, but right before he could get her alone he decovers her body brutally killed(sloppy kill) the serial killer is disgusted, and panicks as hes freaking out wondering who killed this woman he was about to kill minutes before. Well long story short the main serial killer is getting beat to his preferred victims before he can kill them himself, theres another killer whos the opposite of the main killer(sloppy,brutal,messy,careless,awkward). Turns out they have a history together(old pals,double crossed), the 2nd killer has been stalking the main killer for a while now, also the 2nd killer is jealous that the main killer is getting all the attention in the news/papers. The 2nd killer beats the main killer to his next 2 preferred/ carefully planned out victims in attempts to get him caught by either a newly promoted female nypd detective whos been on the main killers trail for a few short days or a seasoned/veteran female fbi agent whos been on the 2nd killers trail for months. (The Detective & Fbi agent also have a history together)

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Pretty rough first page of mine. I wrote this and never got to continuing. Horror/Thriller.

>>85863620
> A little confusing without names for characters.. BUT

This actually isn't that bad of an idea, you should try and work it out in screenplay format. I like the whole beat him to the punch idea. Mind fuck it somehow.

Do you have ideas of where exactly the scenes take place and do you have dialogue for the characters yet?

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How am I doing?

Rate my shitty comedic dialogue, /tv/

--
ACE: Oh, man, that was wild! My heart is pumping! Damn, man...

JOE: Yeah, yeah, I feel the same, I'm just... What's that?

ACE: What?

JOE: Is that ice cream?

ACE: Huh...

JOE: Ace, is that ice cream?

ACE: Huh... Yeah. Want some? It's chocolate, man.

JOE: ... Where is the money, Ace?

ACE: Well, you know, man, shit was going down, it all happened so fast...

JOE: What did I tell you?

ACE: Come on, man...

JOE: What did I fucking tell you?! Clean the register. CLEAN THE REGISTER. How the fuck did you factor ice cream into that?

ACE: I'm stress-eating over this shit, man, I never actually robbed a place before.

JOE: You said you were cool, man! You said you could do it.

ACE: Technically, I did do it, didn't I? This shit costs $8,99 a piece!

JOE: I'm never going to get arrested over fucking ice cream, Ace! That probably won't even earn me community service. This was my shot. It was my kids' shot, and you fucking blew it. I seriously want to put a bullet in your fucking brain right now.

ACE: You threatening to shoot me now? Crime changed you, bro.

JOE: Shoot you? Shoot you? No, I mean I actually want to research physics and contribute to a scientific breakthrough in the field of teleportation, collaborate to the development of a teleportation machine for the sole purpose and pleasure of putting a teeny tiny bullet inside, disintegrating it and reintegrating it directly inside that fucking thick skull of yours.

ACE: Well, at least you'd go to jail for that.

>>85856656
>2017
>starting with a screenplay/treatment
Nigga, in this day and age you gotta write a book first, or a comic at least.

>>85857663
Where do you start to get it in the right hands? How does someone with no connections to Hollywood peddle their story?

>>85864046
Sharknado-tier Bottle Rocket clone/10

>>85863827
I have scenes figured out & dialogue, but I have NO names at all I want to think of good ones so I haven't wrote anything down yet

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You want to read my Batman/Death Note cross over?

How do people decide what their idea's format is going to become?

Like if you have a good idea, how do u know if u want to make it into a feature, or a pilot, or a 10-episode series

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>>85859387
>This is meaningful, because John Core never misses.

Fuck, I'm dead.

>>85862173
Think of a movie you liked and just look for the script online. You can probably figure out where to go from there. Download a program like Trelby to handle formatting for you.

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>>85866276

>Damn it. Damn that batman.

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>>85857768
this is the kind of thing I mean. I basically just write as though I'm writing prose but with screenplay dialog. I have to go through and fix it so it actually flows in real-time and cut out all the needless description/exposition and midway through I just quit and re-write it as prose anyway lol.

>>85863447
No. Not nexcessarily because it's bad, but you're pitching poorly. A lot of superfluous details, unnecessary exposition. All I really need to know is "Detroid, 1971....widespread racial tumroil, the Motor City has become the Murder City." Then start with Detective Arthur Freeman.

In fact, just condense your entire story into one sentence, then give us the boring details.

>>85866276
Damn that batman haaaa

I'll bump you fools

Starting adapting my screenplay into a novel.

It's tougher to finish simply because of more words, but a lot more enjoyable since there's more freedom and opportunity to expand characters and plot.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0Bz7WR19NhKXqQkFxaHdnMXh1a2c/view
You like 80's cheese and corny shit?
This is basicly loveletter to 80's shlock action movies. Read it and tell me what you thought, i've finished it now in 83 pages but it needs something more.
Thats only the first act.

>>85856656
So the real question is, once the screenplay is done, what should I do?
Just email it around? I have zero connections so I feel no one will read my script.

I have one single image, and I want to structure a screenplay (a short one probably) around this image.

It's a girl, walking through an empty snow-covered field, when in the distance she sees a lone door, outlined in a brilliant neon purple.

I can't think of what I should do with this image though.

>>85870050
Once it's done, you start writing something else.

Then after 2-4 weeks of staying completely away from your first script, you throw it away and rewrite it from page 1.

Repeat this process about 10 times, THEN you start submitting your script to the Blacklist, contests, studios. You don't fucking skip the 10 rewrites though you fucking faggot.

Digging through my Drive folder, I've got a ton of unfinished first drafts and cringey old shit.

Here's one I haven't looked at in a while that I thought might be fun.

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B6uwaxNQt5HReU9ja1NxeWxpWGc

>>85864227
>how does someone with no connections peddle their story
by making connections
you need to work your way up
one of the more "entry level" jobs might be as a writers assistant. That way, you get to know writers who are higher on the totem than you. You have that one moment at the table that solves everyone's problems, and boom, you're in.

>>85870249
Now here's a question: at what stage do you rewrite from? Do you mean rewrite the whole screenplay? Do you mean rewrite the treatment too? Do you mean make ten drafts, or ten complete rewrites?

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bumparino
is there a group for /tv/ screenwriters?
there should be like a group or something with a bunch of autistic /tv/ posters crank out kino

>>85870691
It's up to you. Sometimes I would throw everything away and start over, but it was often unproductive, because I would write something too similar, and worse than my original draft (which had been polished).
But the other problem with just reworking a finished draft is that once I have something written, I'm afraid to change it. Sometimes I'll think every scene is precious, and couldn't imagine taking one out.

So you really just have to get to know yourself as a writer, and work around that and be ready to make sacrifices.

>>85870952
Years ago we had a Skype group for /swg/. We would pass things around. Honestly everyone was a bad writer, and it was amateurs critiquing amateurs who weren't really willing to change.

Posting even bits of a script on a public forum is the guarantee this script will never be made into a movie

>>85871089
>Honestly everyone was a bad writer, and it was amateurs critiquing amateurs
/tv/ in a nutshell

>>85871127
We're here to learn and improve not sell our script.

How do you guys do once you have a script? The studios don't accept unsollicited scripts. They won't bother reading your masterpiece because they prefer someone who already have a name for himself, even if he writes shit, it's only how much money the movie made that matters.

>>85871472
I mean, why do you care? Have you written a masterpiece? Listen, if you're writing to get famous, don't. I don't say that to discourage you, but every second you spend fantasizing is a second wasted not writing. Less than .0001% of screenwriters actually make it big. Go fucking buy a lottery ticket. You get the same high from fantasizing and less work put into it.

>>85871530
I don't know what triggered you so much. I'm not a writer and I'm just asking how writers who actually want to make it do it, not the fanfiction dreamers.

>>85871472

Literally what you should do is get it published as a book since Hollywood is so fucking retarded they'd always rather adapt an existing property than produce an original idea.

That's how Dances With Wolves got made.

>>85863702
not sure if you're memeing
learn to format properly for a start, you're not a director, you're a screenwriter

>>85856975

That's mostly just Renf, he made up the story and visuals as he went through filming based on what he found they could practically do on the locations and was asking crew members how it should end as they filmed other scenes.

>>85870138

dream sequence in completely unrelated story

>>85856656
Working on a post-apocalyptic road trip comedy, set in Ireland. The plot mostly revolves around a small group trying to establish a trade route between the only other (alleged) community and getting fucked up along the way.

>>85857825
Trelby is the greatest tool after fountain

>>85871592
This is the way to go.

They literally have assistants who read books that aren't published yet, looking for the next big movie.

>>85871801
what's so good about it?

>>85857825
I unironically write in notepad.exe

>>85870952
>>85871089
I'd be up for that

>>85857825
Screenwriter 6

>>85871930
it's simple and effective
no shitty widgets that serve no purpose, just a pure blank page to write
it has an editable database for formatting so you write it properly

>>85856656
Submitted a script to the BBC sitcom writer's room. Didn't make it past the first stage. Will never write again.

Their hasn't been one good page of writing in this whole thread just shitty jokes.

Can't any of you write?

Also half you guys think your directing the film rather than just putting in good dialogue fuck is that?

>hurr pans camera forwards close up of ball sack

Jimmie rode bareback like a wild buck

>>85872336
what a stupid question
I think I can write well. But I'm probably wrong, because I'm an amature, that's why I'm on /tv/ at 4AM rather than running my own show.

>>85872391
It's so cringey when you start to read a script and the writer is giving camera cues. It's one of the easiest ways to tell a script is going to be garbage.

>>85872464
Nobody has written anything they are just joking around.

Nobody has written any serious content in this whole thread.

>>85857825
>>85858064
I still use desktop Celtx after all these years. If you need to download it again, it's easy enough to find a mirror of the download file online, you don't have to use their shitty cloud version they have now.

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I wrote this for my writing class, although it's an adaptation of a couple of phonograph recordings from Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs, so it's not entirely oc, this is the first page of few, I made the recordings and some notes from the game into a short screenplay.

>>85872487
I don't think that's entirely true.

Half of you guys spend all your time formatting rather than just writing something. It becomes a pain to read and it doesn't flow at all.

>>85872629
here is the premise, for the unacquainted

SWINEHERD

It is the turn of the 19th century. OSWALD MANDUS is a wealthy owner of a meat processing factory. He is disturbed by the loss of his wife, who has died giving birth to their children. After his return from Mexico, MANDUS begins to employ beggars, children and other “less fortunate” in his industries. Troubled by his activities, the Ministry sends an investigator – THE PROFESSOR – who is to report back on MANDUS’ state of mind and the practices of his company. MANDUS, who is aware of the ploy, reveals his opinions on the world and society to THE PROFESSOR and lures him into a trap.

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>>85872693
are you suggesting that un-formatted text flows better

>>85872748
jesus christ stop capitalizing the name. You only need to do that once, when you introduce them.

Its just jarring as fuck.


Sounds like something is going to happen.

Elias was pissing on the fence when suddenly he heard a loud roar.

FADE OUT

Jenny is in the kitchen baking muffins.

>>85872773
see>>85872838

>>85872797
will remember, cheers

Been writing for almost 3 years now.

Finally got some of my work made recently

https://youtu.be/DwnqnQhYKhM

https://youtu.be/19y31uDbj78

https://youtu.be/0JcncOzrsec

P.s the last one is a greentext adapted to film

Its one thing to write and its another thing to execute a story with limited resources. Someone link me to a producer to doante money to africa

>>85872872
What is this shit about before i waste my time watching one of your short films?

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I used to write a lot of really small low budget scripts, but I stopped for a while. Now I feel like a brain-dead orangutan hammering on a type writer, so right now I'm reading example scripts in one screen while watching the script's production in the other screen. It helps to re-associate the words with visual cues. It also helps with pacing.

>>85872838
>>85872861
Ok, learn to read properly formatted scripts then. It's not the writers problem. Formatting is important. If you seriously trip over that you have problems.

>>85856911
lmao

>>85872872
>last one is a greentext adapted to film
HOLY SHIT
THE /FIT/ ONE?

>>85873033
Yes. Dubs confirm.

>>85873005
If it was formatted properly it wouldn't feel so jarring and it would flow.

>>85872487
Sure I have, but I'm not going to post a 100 page screenplay here. No one is going to read it and I won't get any meaningful feedback, so what's the point?

>>85873075
Nice
>tfw negro kino is back on the menu
in all seriousness, it's great you've actually gotten projects done, and committed them to film. That's more than most on this board can say.

>>85873081
Well, is there anything in particular in this thread that does that? Because it kind of seems like you just invented an example to suit you. Proper formatting is easy and should rarely get in the way.

>>85873119
I dunno it just seems pointless going heres a random page from my screenplay

and heres the pretense

am i doin it rite lads?

May as well give up on the entire thread

>>85873119
memes?

>>85873153
If i make it im going to go west and team up with amon Films productions to film Drive in the style of who killed captain alex

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>>85873196
>film Drive in the style of who killed captain alex

>>85859028
kino

hello guys, is there any book about story structures? I want to start writing short stories and would like to know if there is a book that dissects genres and teaches overalls rules for good storytelling, thanks.

>>85873171
Pretty much all the images of screenplays that have been put forth bar probably 1

How about that.

I don't mean to shit on you guys I just get frustrated at how bad this shit is. I thought I'd come into this thread and find some hidden gems.

>>85873402
Anatomy of Story

>>85859387
>>85859351
>>85859278
>>85859232
>>85859190
jesus, i bet every steven seagal movie was written in such manner.

sell it, son, you have a golden egg here.

>>85873447
>expecting to find hidden gems
>on a /tv/ screenwriting thread
to give you an idea of where you are, I've snuck bane quotes into the four short films I've written for others.
Besides, the biggest problem with most of the shit here is the writing, not the formatting, though I can see how the formatting is what stood out first.

>>85873496
I know for some reason i thought their would be something decent. Instead of like fan fic tier trash.

>>85856911
I can only assume this is a frantic scene with time limits and what not. I only read up til the idea to use the vents bc I had to stop. Here's my advice.

Quit fucking explaining every fucking thing.
>BREVITY IS THE SOUL OF WIT
You could make a much more convincing dialogue scene with just "Wait, go to the vents! Go, go now!"
Who cares why he thinks or knows to use the vents? If it's a plot point, address it later.
Also the "we're doomed" line is cliche af. That's a line reflecting the scenario, again it just explains things. Cut that line in exchange for something more dynamic and personal. Why do they say "we're doomed" instead of "god dammit!", or "you lead us here just to die you asshole!"
or "I knew I should've stayed away from you!" or something that shows someone's true personality. Make it personal for everyone. This is their existence on the line, be it their life, status, job, etc. Another way to spice up dialogue is make it cohesive with another element of the story. Maybe someone says "I just wanted to vent my frustrations, I didn't mean to get into trouble!" And other guy says "The vents! Holy cow the vents, climb them!" Or maybe there is a theme of teamwork or redemption, a line like "I'm going to die here, just for trying to look in a dead man's coffin" works if the plot is a heist on tut's sarcophagus. Be clever, make everything reflect everything else. That makes your story original, but it also puts a statement into the mind of the audience. You're basically trying to embed an idea into them from any angle possible. Just think, what is the theme or moral I want to showcase, and how can I subtly inject it. Writing is basically propaganda, don't forget that.

>>85873538
Nobody who's actually good at writing would post here, because anyone who's actually good at writing is actually doing it rather than getting mired in the amateur tribulations of a television themed morse code relay station

>>85873575
I think your doing this little forum of ours an injustice and i think their are some fairly decent amateur writers who frequent this site. Its just /tv/ isn't the place where you find them.

I think a poster on /tv/ could make a really good screenplay because its not a hugbox like other sites and people give you pretty stinging critiques of your work.

>>85873678
Eh. Maybe you're right. There's always the chance. But, of course, the advantage of getting straight answers over a hugbox is lost when most of the answers are memes and image macros. When you know the basics, and have gotten constructive criticism, THEN its time to open the flood gates to advanced constructive bullying.

>>85859778
>360°. Twice.
Anon you need to get into John Wick 3 writing room asap

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>just finished the treatment for my first feature film spec script
>realizing how daunting the task will be to actually write 90 pages of screenplay

One location basically, one evening.
Group of people in their mid-thirties. They know each other from elementary school. Guy from rich family got a house from his recently deceased father who didn't tell his family about the property.
Guy invites his friends, but one guy is missing. Tells his friends a story about the guy, telling them he raped a guy after he got out of rehab and that he doesn't want him in their circle anymore. They discuss and argue, all but one woman believe the story. Woman calls the missing guy. He is in front of the house, crashes the gathering. He planned it all, blackmailed the friend with the house to tell the story. In the course of the evening all the secrets and lies of the paths come into light, they all have to realize that they are hypocrites and that they betrayed each other. At the end, noone can say anything anymore, crushed by the evenings revelations.
But no one leaves.

I put in sone minor flashbacks to let the viewers breathe, because of all the arguments and to give an understanding of what kind of people they were a few years before.

Got 70 pages at the moment.

>>85873902
OP again. The story the guy tells is that the other guy raped a girl, not a guy. Mistyped

>>85873930
aw man

>>85856656
I'm not in the film bussiness, but I like writting fan-fics basedon comics to ease up at night (studying physics), so I have a couple of stories that could be original works:

>Pirate Sorcerer in Modern Day with "Dany Jones" Mentor against Lovecraftian Sea Monsters

>Modern-Day Crusader DEUS VULTs Constantinopole

>Sorcerer in the far future who unleashes his magic on the technologically advanced world in order to conquer it

>Universal Conqueror goes trekking around the Universe and subjugates planets

>>85873945
sounds neat

>>85873945
post a few pages of you shit

So, /tv/, how do you write dialogue?
Expositional? Realistic? Tarantino-esque? Quips out the ass?
Post an example of your best dialogue.

>>85873945
Ok this is a question for anyone but your post is an example.
Do people think the idea that drives the film should come before thinking of the plot?
I feel like scripts are more effective as tools to convey the message of the film rather than just thinking of an idea like "space wizard pirates" and trying to build a film around that gimmick. I'm not necessarily saying it's a shit idea but in general, I feel like it's a lot harder to write a script that would be noticed if the message isn't strong enough to withstand multiple script changes.

>>85869825
Reads like something written by an edgy teenager. The dialogue is beyond terrible, and it really shows that english isn't your first language. 83 pages is also way too fucking long for just the first act of a fucking 80's action movie tribute.

>>85874045
Thanks anon. I'm not gonna do anything with them, but eh.
>>85874048
I mostly come up with the concepts, write some basic overviews on a little notebook I have and that's it. Fan-Fics may have been the wrong word. I could post some "synopsis" though:

>Pirate Sorcerer
Basically the main guy's from an island in the Med and his ancestors were pirates. He becomes an engineer, gets in NASA, but fucks up and loses his job. He gets depressed,r evs up his dad's boat and tries to commit suicide by sea. He comes across a "mountain" in the middle of it and he eventually becomes a pupil of the first magic user who'snow possessed a Lovecraftian Monster. I don't have anything more.

>DEUS VULT
Average Englishman with Greek ancestry who's an engineer for some Big-Shot company. He gets fed up with the world around him and so he starts manipulating people around him and roses through the ranks. He starts getting /fit/ and becomes a /pol/ack. In the end he's head of the company and gets in bed with a terrorist organization. He then launches an attack to take over the City. This might work as a TV-Show better. I guess he could become Emperor and we could have Rome 2.0

>Future Sorcerer
Nothing more than the premise.

>Conqueror
Star Trek but starring a megalomaniac with AIs of Alexander, Napoleon, Attila, etc, advising him as he takes over alien civilizations.

>>85874141
Yes, the film should start with an idea that drives the film, otherwise it will have no drive. Though, that's not to mean it must be some philosophical lesson. It can be a question, too. But there must be a central idea.

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>>85874245
>83 pages for the first act
assuming a three act structure, thats approximately four hours of runtime

>>85874141
Eh, like I said, all of my stuff are just fan-fics based on comic book characters. Pirate Wizardis a Doctor Strange AU. Future Sorcerer is Doom 2099. DEUS VULT is Black Knight. Conqueror is Kang, the Conqueror.

I just figured that with a few tweaks they could become different enough and not be based on the originals.

As for your question, I think having a solid idea is a must. I mean, let's take... Breaking Bad. The main idea is "man gets fed up, stands up, slowly turns into a villain". Now, this is broad enough that it can be anything from sci-fi to a small town drama. It can be aaction-adventure flick or even a horror movie. It can be set in the futre or in the past.

>>85874401
I tried not to sound pretentious or too preachy about a 'message', I agree. You could probably get away with making a film about a gimmick but only if you're already successful. Some people here are writing their first script without being realistic about it being made (not to target >>85873945 in particular).
Sure, a lot of people could write the sorts of films that do moderately well at the box office but are completely mediocre, but someone else more known is already doing it.
This is more advice if anyone reads this, but you won't be noticed writing a script that teams of people are employed to do every day

>>85874572
Every story has already been done. It's not about originality. It's about execution. It's kind of defeatist to say there's no point because someone else is doing it, because that's very nihilistic, and in all likelyhood, somebody else probably isn't actually doing exactly what you're doing but better.

>>85874572
>>85874982
also, there's nothing wrong about writing a film with a gimmick. If that gimmick is what drives the film, then it can work.

>>85874245
Nuh, the 18pages are the first act.
Its supposed to be cheesy on purpose tho.

>>85875050
>Its supposed to be cheesy on purpose tho.
Ok, now explain why that cheesiness should entice me to watch the movie. Why is the cheesiness what makes the movie good? Why is this cheesiness clever?
If you cannot answer these, then you need to rework your script.

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>>85874064

>>85875113
Do you enjoy 80's shlock-b-action-movies?
If the answer is yes, then you might understand why this is the way it is.
Its supposed to be a loveletter to that stuff, American Ninja, Commando etc.
Im not gonna say its clever, but i do think i have good moments in the film outside of the bad dialogue.
I guess you could say that this script is doing the same as Kill Bill did to 60-70's japanese movies.

>>85875265
So, basically, your aim was to create a shitty 80's movie?
I just don't see how the cheesiness of the movie actually makes it good. American Ninja, Commando, were not self aware.

>>85875329
Thats the fine line of corny/cheesiness.
All those movies deliver and take themself very seriously and so does Neon Blades.
My aim is to make 80's action movie we all enjoy sometimes, but with a spin. Think about Star Wars, it came out in time when sci-fi was pretty much dead and its a script with space-samurai with space-wizard powers. It also takes itself very seriously but sells itself very good. The difference here, in the end is only in the dialogue.

So i guess you suggest i rewrite all the dialogue?

>>85872872

Is this the next Ousmane Sembène?

>>85875445
I mean, since you said it, you might as well just finish it then rewrite it.

>>85872984

Lost was what originally inspired me like 13 years ago, I remember reading the scripts and laughing at how much swearing was in it, like they knew they couldn't put it in the dialog but couldn't help themselves putting it in the script.

>>85872872
I thought they were african americans putting on accents until I realized where it was filmed kek

>>85875445
Not just the dialogue, give it a complete rewrite. Your english in the script is abysmal.

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>>85875445
Personally, I think that 80's tributes are not only overdone, but difficult to do without actually seeming super forced and fucking stupid or edgy. Those movies did it because... Well, because they were made in the 80's. They weren't consciously "le 80's style" which seems to be something people forget.
Good luck I guessm. It's okay. But as other anons have said, rewrite it a bunch and by the time it's actually good, who knows, maybe it won't look anything like it does now.

>>85875733
Nah it's just because JJ Abrams is really informal when describing things to the audience. He likes to write scripts as if he's telling it to you in person,

>>85875815
Are they? How many movies do this?
I mean, setting and stylistic choices are totally different things.
The script is "le 80's style" in a way of structure and beats from that era, but its not supposed to be a total clusterfuck like Kung Fury with "haha 80's sure were colourful and naive times!".
>>85875791
This i know and im sorry.
>>85875699
Its pretty much finished in 83 pages.

>>85876175
I think less people are going to see it as a tribute to 80's films and instead will see it as a cheap 80's parody like Kung Fury or Blood Dragon

>>85876439
But there's not really much that can be done about that, other than to err on the side of seriousness and hope the tone carries in a less parody-like manner
>>85876175
Don't apologise, just fix it.

>>85876439
That depends on execution and you totally give too much credit for "averange movie viewer".
They didnt even understand what Kill Bill was about and thought it was unique, while it also is in the end just a solid, solid movie with lots of stylistic choices to give callbacks to legendary movies.

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Would it be a shitty story if a character is introduced as not wanting to be dragged into things, gets dragged into things anyway, and then killing himself to spite the person who dragged them into things?

>>85872629
bro you don't describe your sets in the scene header, just give it a consistent name and definitely don't write "a" room, it makes it feel as if the scene doesn't even matter if it's in the room or in a plane

>>85876732
Sounds like an idea I had if it was like a revenge movie, and the mc sets it up for the person to lose after he kills himself.

>>85856911
God tier

>>85859190
>>85859232
>>85859278
>>85859351
>>85859387

I ain't got time for that.

It's a historical-fiction-romance about two different Englishmen a century apart in two different English territories; late 16th century Brielle in the Netherlands and late 17th century Tangier, and their lives and loves in these distant places.

Themes include alienation, religious conflict, and our relationships with history and our predecessors (think Milton: A Poem). Each time written in pseudo-accurate dialects.

My agents telling me one of the Englishmen should be turned into a woman, but I can't decide.
Personally I really want to keep the one in Brielle a man because it's what I relate to the most but I can't bring having the Tangier character be a woman and fuck a Moslem man.

>>85856911
>no apostrophes in the contractions
>theys
>yes you can, my love!
>not after that night with Rasul, I cant!
>emotionfully
>thata

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA please tell me this is bait.

>>85857519
>every screenplay starts out bad
nope, just yours

>>85870138
if you want to base an entire film around one image, don't even bother

Pretty good, i actually have a deal with michael fassbender. I let him fuck my wife(she's black btw) and when the time comes he will play the MC.

I never heard a no. Do you want to read my script or not?

>>85881993
Sure.

>>85877575
Save it, Anon-Sama. This ain't time for chitchat

>>85878246
>I can't bring having the Tangier character be a woman and fuck a Moslem man.
make it so she fucks another Englishman there

>>85883009
https://www.scribd.com/document/355540154/Bvl

>>85883761
damn that Batman

>>85856911
>thata girl

>>85856911
but is she loyle to her capo??????

>>85856911
tommy wiseau on /tv/ confirmed
please post more

>screenwriting in 2017
why not just write a book senpai

>>85873787
That's the fun part. Planning out your story and scenes is hard, but if you have a treatment, then the fun part is just writing it all out.

>>85884786
why not do both? I finished a TV pilot and now am doing a first draft of my novel

My screenplay is a neo-noir piece in the style of NIGHT MOVES (1975) set in the late 90's. The main character is a black detective who specialises in quieting down political scandals in Washington. He becomes embroiled in a conspiracy involving silicon valley types funding disinformation programs and a manson-esque cult with odd ties to Saudi Arabia, none of which he's ever able to quite figure out. The femme fatale is a Bailey Jay esque transwoman. The coming of 9/11 hangs over the whole film ominously.

Is this plot sellable, /tv/?

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>>85886179
Forgot the pic

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So what structures do you use for your stories?

>>85857825
I still have a desktop version of Celtx. I also use WritersDuet. Anyone got good sites to read
recent scripts? I don't know why Hollywood is so private with them.

>>85887186
>Structures

Just write three acts. Making circles within circles is fucking retarded. All this shit basically means is make your first 15 pages a clear introduction then write the fucking story. They all boil down to the same shit

>>85886558
>her

>>85887186
I think of the ending, then i think of the beginning. make the beginning very intriguing and the ending more so. then I write the middle to make the ending even better.

>>85887186
There are usually 4 parts I usually get down first. I called them
>the spark
Steve wins the lottery
>the blow
Steve gets depressed after blowing all the money
>the revelation
Steve finds a way out of it after doing X
>the shit ending
Steve is back to the status quo after learning something

after you have all these 4 scenes planned, all you need to do is build entertaining bridges between them
you will find all 4 parts in every movie, and you'll quickly realize all the stuff inbetween is just 'entertaining filler' to get to those parts

>>85890138
are you the OP? Last year /swg/ threads were popular and frequent, if you are interested you can make them and people will certainly join.

https://archive.4plebs.org/tv/thread/73760810/#73760810

>>85890577
I am not the OP, but I am the one that curated the links in the OP post of the thread you linked. That's an old one though. I created a better list since then.
I meant to keep up the filmmaking generals that were going on last year but I didn't.

>>85891437
well then make a thread for it if you want and I'll save your OP for future threads

>>85891553
It's Friday, right? I can make on later today. You think 5:30 is a good time?

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What do you do when you finish your screenplay anons ?

Do you send it to the Hollywood studious ? Do you send it to the publishers ? or what

>>85891803
I burn it.

>>85891803
Go get an agent. Not that it'll help.

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It's a comedy about a multi-racial rap group.

>>85891758
yeah man anytime you want, people will be there surely, I will post too
just make sure you can attend the thread for a while

It's like fight club but for people who want to have sex

>Post your ideas

Nice try, Shlomo.

>Finish first draft
>Realize it's not interesting, the hook is weak and the setting is played out
>Start over and waste 60 pages before realizing the idea is shit again

>>85891936
>white nigga
fuck it I laughed

>>85891803
go to festivals and talk to people
talk to everyone, offer help and volunteer
friends are never too much

>>85892134
That's the thing with a LOT of amateur screenplays. You can essentially diagnose what's going to be wrong from an outline before you've ever opened up Final Draft and written one page.

Yet a lot of people are in such a hurry to write a screenplay, that they pour 120 pages into a pile of shit when one look at the outline could've told you that the second act was filler, or there's not enough conflict, or your character arc is stagnating instead of rising in stakes.

>>85891936
don't use CUT TO within the same scene, use a simple paragraph
CUT TO is reserved to scenes that are 'abruptly' interrupted to another, like a time lapse or like if a character asks a question and another scene starts without an answer

>>85891936
Lmao that's actually good anon. I think you need to set in the 90s and have it as diverse as possible to get all the right comedy. Like you could have a white guy who acts black, Mexican dude who's constantly getting high on coke, the black guy could mention how bad it is for him as he's rolling a blunt

>>85859232
>chinese
>calls him "-san"

i like it

>>85892134
>>85892267
Good advice. It's very important to plan ahead and actually know your story before writing it.
My first lesson in writing was that every scene has to happen for a reason. If you're writing a scene and you don't know beforehand what information must be given to the audience/characters then you're just wasting space in your script

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>>85859857
this is amazing. please post more based john core man

>>85869825
>>85869825
How to fix.
Outside of bad english.

>>85869825
>>85894617
You have some minor format issues that aren't worth mentioning.

Being a loveletter doesn't necessarily excuse it from being boring. I don't know why I should read past the first scene, something I've seen so many times that I'm already too discouraged to continue.

I'm being lazy and not giving it a fair go, though. Maybe you should drop a more fleshed out logline to get people interested.

>>85894617
>https://drive.google.com/file/d/0Bz7WR19NhKXqQkFxaHdnMXh1a2c/view
can you 'smoke heroin'???

>>85895516
Do me next!

>>85883761

>>85886558
Hard-boiled*, buddy

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>>85856968
>is it supposed to be unintentionally funny

Would it be a good to practice to just write a "screenplay" for random scenes you have no intention of doing anything with?

>>85898559
would it be good practice*

>>85898559
Writing individual scenes isn't as hard as making a cohesive product with flow and increasing tension. And that is infinitely more valuable.

>>85898807
Thanks

Forgot to make a new filmmaking general, y'all good in here? I'll make another thread tomorrow.

>>85891803
As others have said, you hold onto it and refine it slowly with multiple rewrites. Once you have done that a bunch, you either hold onto it until you can get it into the right hands - and they do have to be real hands - or you make it yourself.

>>85898559
Sure, it can be good practice. You can focus on the micro without having to worry about the macro. I usually use those kinds of scenes as a proof of concept, which can be filmed as a short film, and function as a tiny story on their own.

>>85857919
I've got that. I even bought a board and some cards.

BUMP
new thread when?

>>85856911
My boss just made me fucking go home I couldn't hold it in FUCK YOU

>>85891925
>>85891803
Traditionally yeah, you send query letters to agents and tell them a SMALL amount of info about yourself and your project and offer to send it to them.

Easy 95 times out of 100 they'll say No. Usually when they say Yes they'll also decline to represent you.

You can try the same tactic with smaller producers, but you always have to ask them if you can send it. Unsolicited goes into the trash no questions asked.

Like someone else said, you should enter contests. Nothing will come out of the contest other than the fact that you get some feedback and if you happen to win you can then tell agents/producers that it won. But you're not going to win a contest and then have people coming to you.

You have to be proactive.

t., former script reader

>>85898559
sure
actors should love it too cause showreel

>>85856758
Just use screenwriting software, there are 2 or 3 out there that are free. Celtx I think is one. It's then as simple as hitting tab to move between the sections.

Scripts should be punchy. Read other scripts, not necessarily trashy ones, but average ones. Don't read Tarantino or anyone who is super established, they could use feces on a napkin and sell it.

You want to break your paragraphs up, even if it's a big chunk of action. Break it up so it reads fast, it's not a novel. Minor details don't matter.

t., former script reader

>>85902289
are you going to sign every post like that

>>85902519
It was so people knew I was the same guy if there were any legitimate questions I could answer, but having read through the thread this is mostly jokey memeplays so why bother?

>>85902644
I mean, you could just put it in your name field

>>85891978
Sounds neat, you could make it sort of related to a cult, like in eyes wide shut

>>85891978
So uh, is it just a bunch of guys fucking each other in a basement?

>>85858991
Dude, just use a program. Celtx.com. It's free and itll do that for you.

>>85856911
Holy shit, screencaped.

>>85857825
Slugline.

>>85863702
Ok, stop addressing any fucking camera movements. That has no place in a screenplay. Also format the thing correctly or nobody will want to read it. But onto constructive stuff:

>A Determined Mob
You don't need to say the'yre "determined". All mobs are determined.
>"Mobguy/Amanda" exclaims
You don't need to write that they are about to say something. Just write the dialogue.
>She knows who lives there: Jonathan
Un-filmable. You can't film what she knows or what's in her head.
>Screaming turns into crying hysterically
This should be an action line by itself.

Lastly, you have a lot of widow words you need to get rid of.

>>85872872
Wish you put a little more effort into the actual ghost punch scene... seeing as the whole story relies on it.

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what do I do with a screenplay?

is it possible to earn money with this?

>>85906902
No.

>>85856656
Why does this thread have to have 200+ replies when I only JUST got here?

I literally just finished my 8 page horror screenplay. Not sure what to do with it/who to send it to, or how it would translate to the screen.

What can you do with 8 pages?

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>>85856911
>stares into here eyes