‘The Dark Tower’ Tested So Poorly That Sony Considered Replacing

>>85806604
yeah because test audiences have NEVER ruined a movie before

>>85806604

The worst thing aside from turning Roland into an eggplant was making everything else look so generic and bland. Like the studio was trying to hide that it's an adaptation of a Stephen King book or something. What makes the Dark Tower series work is that it's a dozen different genres being smashed together, but there's nothing about this movie that seems to get the point across.

>>85806604
>Sony Considered Replacing Director
Try the actor?

Why is Idris Elba dressed like he's in The Matrix? I thought he was supposed to be a cowboy?

Are the books good?

>>85806987
Roland is now a magical negro

>>85808199
it's stephen king

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>88 minutes

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>>85806604
>Sony

>>85808199
yes, I very much enjoyed them. Didn't know what they were about when I started and I got hooked right away. fun summer reading books, but not /lit/ approved fo sho

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> tfw you legit enjoy the dark tower books and have been following this abomination closely for over a decade

Why is Idris Elba universally loved despite doing nothing of note for over a decade?

>>85809065
he's literally the only notable black actor who isn't really old or typecast as a thug

>>85809065
He's a pet minority for white liberal redditors who need a black guy to namedrop that isn't Samuel L. Jackson or Donald Glover.

>>85806604

Magical Negro: Now with Guns Edition. This shit is going to fail so hard.

>>85809065
Luther is good.

>>85809065
I rather enjoy his Heimdall.

>>85810548
is that an euphemism?

>>85809065
Idris Elba

>>85808301
>crashing the film industry one film at a time
is she secretly /ourgirl/?

>>85811148
Best post in thread

>>85810567
>>85810567
He can open my Bifrost with his big double handed sword any day :3

sounds like a mess, never had high hopes for it anyway. apparently it's only 90 minutes? how do you do the dark tower in 90 minutes.

>>85809199
This guy gets it.

>>85811954

it's a sequel to the book series, establishing another cycle

Oh is the movie going to be shit thats disappointing i was looking forward to it i barely see movies anymore.

this is going to bomb.

>>85811954
To be fair, the first book is pretty straightforward. The Man in Black fled across the desert and the Gunslinger followed. That's it. That's the plot. Like Mad Max with bullets instead of cars. How do you fuck that up?

>Sony

Oh. Right.

>>85808199
the whole thing is based on something he started writing in his teens, so it's not entirelt surprising that it might lack some of the coherence of his later, more polished work.

>>85808199
not really
worst of Kings book if you ask me, yet he spend most on this series
its nr 1 flaw seems a complete lack of coherence and direction, it just seems to be pulled out of Kings ass along the way with nothing to foreshadow or even justify the series of events that you witness

still, you might like it, but i can guarantee you that getting half way into the first one is already worthy of praise, i know nobody among my friends that didnt drop it

>>85809065
>What is luther
>What is pacific rim
>What is (This is how i know you're fucking new) The wire

>>85809199
>When you're too underage and new to ever have watched the wire or been in wire threads on /tv/

>>85806604
>The gunslingers intense battle with The Man in Black
You mean the one that never fucking happened?

God this movie is going to be fucking terrible to anyone that's read the novels. I was still a bit excited knowing it wasn't a true adaption and even though the rest of the Ka-Tet (Oy, Susana and Dean) wont be in it but might appear in later films if this one does well, but now there's no doubt in my mind that this is going to be nothing but schlock painted to look like that magic that made TDT good.

>>85813733
Cant turn a turn into gold
Im really confused while they chose such a mediocre and obscure series to adapt in the first place

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>>85808199
The Gunslinger and The Drawing of the Three, the first two books, are really, really good.

It takes a bit of a dive in 3, but it's still good. 4 is hit or miss for some people, but I thought it was great.

Then it takes a huge fucking nosedive and becomes self-indulgent meta-narrative garbage with Stephen King self-inserting.

Anyways, my recommendation is read the first two and then go from there, but definitely stop after 4.

But yeah, King fucked up his "magnum opus" long before this garbage was envisioned.

I see this pandering to the Underworld audience.

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>didn't want Singer making X-Men
>rejected the ideas for Cameron's Titanic
>rejected Avatar as well
>fought tooth and nail to keep Deadpool from getting a movie
>demanded Alien versus Predator be PG-13 and set on earth
>forced Galactus to be a cloud in F4
>eventually fired from Fox and picked up by none other than Sony

how does Rothman keep getting work?

>>85814646

7 is pretty good though. I like 5. And Wind Through the Keyhole is fucking GOAT

>>85814694
>how does Rothman keep getting work?

(((no idea)))

>>85808199

Dubs checked. Read the first three books in the series then go on with your life.

>>85814694
One word: Nepotism

>>85814694
>>85814971

>>85809065
>>85813614
I've met three people who have claimed The Wire is "the greatest show ever" without ever having watched it just because internet critics told them so. While I loved him in The Wire and a few movies let's not act like his appeal isn't 50% hype.

>>85814646
4 is filled with a bunch of roland's gilead backstory, right?

im struggling to get through 3 and just want to read more about young roland.

>>85815294
Yeah, it's basically a prequel where you learn about what happened to his old companions Cuthbert and Alain. I liked it way more than 3.

>>85815294
Read the comics by Peter David too.

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>>85815360
>>85815361
thanks anons

are you guys gonna see this in theaters? absolutely nothing ive seen so far makes me want to. this feels like one of the films i'd consider watching on a long flight or something.

im upset the trailer looks so bad because so much of mid world seems so beautiful in my mind.

>>85815675
fuuuuuck no, i'll pirate it when a decent copy comes out

as far as im concerned it has no relation to the books

>>85814654
like this guy said it just seems like some underworld/resident evil tier schlock, which is ok, but not worth spending money on

>>85809065

He's the only good looking black guy people can think of that's not Denzel Washington.

>>85814694

rich people handing out favours to each other.

it's not like hollywood and entertainment industry employs the most creative minds

>>85814694
>didn't want Singer making X-Men
Singers first two Xmen were shit
>>rejected the ideas for Cameron's Titanic
He didn't want an action director making a $100,000,000 romance film
>>rejected Avatar as well
Avatar had a weak cliche script and heavily relied on an untried 3D gimmick
>fought tooth and nail to keep Deadpool from getting a movie
D-list anti-hero film starring a guy whose last capeshit film bombed hard
>demanded Alien versus Predator be PG-13 and set on earth
Increasing audience and cutting budget
>>forced Galactus to be a cloud in F4
Likely viewed giant purple space man as silly

>>85813733
Drawing of the Three would have been a better choice, honestly. Start the movie with Roland waking up on the beach, intersperse the final meeting of Roland and Walter throughout. You get some action, characters that aren't autistic, drama (Eddie & his brother, Susannah's whole..thing), it would make a good movie, and is clearly a setup for the future, end it with fighting the Bear at finding the path of the beam.

Then the next movie you do Wasteland, the drawing of Jake, Roland going nuts, some wizard and glass back story, and end with the City of Lud and Blaine's insantiy.

Then you skip wolves and song, and go right to the final book, except you cut out Roland's son, and the drawing kid entirely. Eddie and Jake still die, Roland climbs the tower, Epilogue is Susannah entering a door with Jake and Eddie waiting for her.

Done and done.

>>85816601

Rothman, get out of here

>>85811148
This made me kek.

>>85809065
>wut is beasts of no nation
>wut is jungle book
>wut is zootopia

>>85808752
yep.

they should've just made an hbo or netflix series

>>85808199
The Wizard and Glass is the best book. Then the Drawing of 3, then the Gunslinger.

The rest are meh, the last book is okay.

>>85808199
the first 4 are good, with Wizard and Glass being the best in the series. might as well just read wizard and glass and the gunslinger and forget the rest exist

>>85807041
actually this is made to fill the niche of those post-apocalyptic flicks like the book of eli and priest

>>85808199
these are kinda like lost, start really good and end terrible.

>>85815294
I think you'll love 4. It's my fave.
Movie definitely looks like a skip.

>>85806604

Roland is a blue-eyed white male who looks like a 35ish Clint Eastwood.

You gonna brownwash him into an African you're gonna have problems. And I even like Elba, he's great. It just ruins the IP though, this forced diversity. I'm glad it's going to bomb. For white characters, use white actors.

>>85816601
>>demanded Alien versus Predator be PG-13 and set on earth
>Increasing audience and cutting budget

How is PG-13 cheaper to make???

>>85817448
maybe you can hire lesser known actors? effects budgets might be lower or marketing costs may be lower?

>>85809065
Anon...do you know what a meme is???

>>85816948
>Two are voice acting roles
>One is a movie from ages ago

>>85816948
>Two of these are voice acting roles

>>85809199
This.

>>85806604
>Audiences at the test screenings couldn’t understand the mythology and rated the film poorly.

But test audiences are very dumb

>>85813656
The wire is old as fuck and has its fair share of shit episodes.

>>85809199
I'm a liberal that wants war with Russia and this describes me

>>85811148
the answer is always, ALWAYS Idris Elba

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>>85806604
Does Sony literally just hire random people off the street to run their movie division?

It makes no fucking sense.

Side note I still have no fucking clue how that girl with the Dragon tattoo movie cost as much as it did. Was the money laundered or something? I loved the movie and would have seen all the sequels, but the reported budget seemed like it was 4X What it should have been.

Being this starved of Rooney goth tits is torture.

I wonder how furious japs at incompetent idiots in us movie division.

>>85818624
With MGM and Sony co-financing the picture, the most likely reason was that too many people were looking to ask for percentage points on profit (really should be BO gross) and they decided to charge every little thing they could so that the $230 million the movie actually made would pretty much vanish.

Sony Pictures - ideal shitstorm.
No need to make box office hits, because you always can get money from other divisions of Sony.
Your boss is japanese, so he can't judge if your ideas any good or not. Just tell him - western audience will love this.
He can't even read leaked emails, to see how incompetent you are.

Imagine if MS opened movie studio in Japan, to make Japanese movies.
Same thing and it is hilarious.

>>85806604
Movie comes out on friday in the US, and tomorrow in some other countries. Not a single review yet.
The last movie to do that was the fucking Emoji movie, by, guess who? Sony!
How can a company fuck up so much?

>>85809065

The Wire > nothing > The Dark Tower

> his career

>>85806604
>western with science fiction/traditional fantasy elements
>manage to make it almost as generic as possible, focusing on New York more than anything else

Sony Pictures can't do anything right

>>85818624

Someone on here theorized that it's corporate sabotage on Disney's part to get Spiderman back. I hope it's true, that would be a more interesting story than all capeshit produced so far.

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>>85806604
>Audiences at the test screenings couldn’t understand the mythology
I called this shit months ago. The story is not particularly complex but the setting and the explanation for everything is convoluted as all hell. In a novel you are able to write out the characters thoughts which allows you to naturally build the world and explain things without it appearing forced. In a movie you have to either show everything which in this case looks fucking impossible or explain it all in dialogue which seems forced and shitty storytelling. I actually liked the books and have listened to them after finishing reading them but I never thought for a second that this movie would be good.

>>85819240

There is a review embargo because they are scared of what the RT score will be.

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/studios-fight-back-withering-rotten-tomatoes-scores-1025575

>>85806604
It's because they changed Roland to a nigger.

STOP USING DUMB AMERICANS AS TEST AUDIENCES

Time for the objective quality order:
2 > 3 > 7 > 4 > 1 > Wind Through the Keyhole > 5 > 6

Read Insomnia

>>85819887
I liked 4 the best and thought 7 was one of the weakest. also WTTK was unnecessary but it was pretty comfy

>>85806604
>Audiences at the test screenings couldn’t understand the mythology
It's faithful to the book then?

>>85820000
Quads of truth

>>85806987
>What makes the Dark Tower series work is that it's a dozen different genres being smashed together
But that's exactly what makes it not work at all. That fucking saga is a mess that feels as written by someone with ADHD that kept changing his mind every time he had to write a new book.

>>85819808
This.

>>85806604

Sony pictures has to die.

>>85819887

Oh my god 7 is not that high. What's wrong with you?

It's already been said in this thread, but just read 1-4 and STOP THERE. Make up your own ending. You'll be better off trust me. Better off than having the Crimson King be an old man in a dirty bathrobe throwing grenades off a balcony. Or having Randall Flagg get eaten by a large spider who then gets eaten by a talking racoon. Just stop at 4.

>>85808199
No.

>>85806604

Wow, a movie made by people who clearly have no respect for the source material is shit? Who would have thought?

>>85820135
The source material is sketchy as fuck to begin with.

>>85809065
He's a black man with a British accent.

>>85806987
>Apocalyptic wanderer
>Spotless leather school shooter jacket
>Clean skin and styled hair

What did they mean by this?

>>85808199
The first four are. The rest suck shit.

>>85806604

oh, you mean just like with Rogue Squadron

>>85820340
>Clean skin
Clean skin? HE'S A FUCKING SHITSKIN YOU C UCK

>>85813065
So much this.

And it's not hard to say "The world's moved on." It's a great phrase King came up with, it suggests that 1) things are going to be different than what you expect 2) things are going to be different than what was usual for the people IN that world 3) none of these changes are for the better.

I want to see the Man in Black bring a dead guy back to life just for shits and giggles.

>>85816601
Look at all those ways he managed to be dead wrong....

>>85816948
>Beasts
>Jungle
>Zoo

The man knows his demographic.

>>85809065
he was the only actor in Thor

>>85813065
>How do you fuck that up?
Ask that to King, since he completely fucked that up right after the first book.

>>85820458

>The Tull resurrection

Absolute kino scene.

>>85818624
Yeah. I wanted sequels so fucking bad.

The books are terrible, but at least Fincher made something out of them. Goddamn, that movie is super comfy for something that features TWO scenes of anal rape.

>>85820544
>Entire village is infected with Madman's Knowledge
>They all go insane and try to kill Roland
>He's forced to kill them all

Would have been kino as fuck.

>>85820178

Yeah, so it doesn't help when Sony gets their hands on it to do their interpretation.

The books are mediocre but have some great moments spaced throughout, the story could be done better than the material in the right hands.

>>85807027
Second this.

>>85820544
Yeah.

I have a letter from Stephen King, back when I wrote him in the mid-80s, asking about The Gunslinger, which at that time had only 500 copies printed and was known only to die-hard King fans. Most of my letter was asking how I could lay hands on one.

That resurrection scene would be fucking HORRIFYING. Properly done, it'd be like Frank Cotton coming back in Hellraiser.

>>85809065
AGU

COME AND DO THIS TING FOR ME

>>85809199
Bingo.

>>85820074
>someone with ADHD that kept changing his mind every time he had to write a new book

The central red thread is the different worlds that tie together, the stereotypes and tropes are literally part of the narrative. The protagonist is a living archetype.

Remove this connecting fibre and make a 90 minute movie.. for what? You've made it a generic bullshit movie, of course it will test like the confused mess it is.

You finally have a reason to do expanded universe bullshit, or a long TV show, or multiple tie-in movies with It coming out.. but no. This is the one case Hollywood decides it's time to trim a book series down to one movie, and not even 2 hours long.

Defective by design.

>>85806604
is stephen king still trying to make up for inventing the magical negro trope

>>85817297
good analogy

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>>85809199
>Donald Glover
Who? Danny Glover is the only Glover I've ever heard of.

>>85807041
Well, he is dressed like a cowboy.
Just not the kind of cowboy you think.
More like a tom of finland cowboy.

Review embargo is up. It's complete shit.

>>85818624
Naw. These idiots worked their way through the company's cronyism to get where they are today.

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>>85806604

Welp what a way to waste my favorite negro actor u dumb fuckks :/

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>>85806604
>>The outlet also reports that “Sony and MRC spent $6 million on reshoots to fill in more backstory,” much of it aimed at clarifying the intense battle between Idris Elba’s The Gunslinger and Matthew McConaughey’s The Man in Black. Additionally, reshoots reportedly focused on ways to “better familiarize audiences with Mid-World, the film’s magical setting,” ultimately leading to the cutting of five minutes of exposition and the addition of a new scene that combined “ideas that had been sprinkled throughout the picture.”
Gee, it almost seems like not trying to do a straight adaption of the series was a bad idea, because then you have to cram in a million plot points into one movie just to make sense of the Goddamned story.

>>85808262
So, no, then?

>>85818143
which episodes specifically?

Imagine the shitfest if they tried to cram the entirety of Wheel of Time into 1 or 2 movies.

Never works to cram a whole series into one movie.

>>85816601
Why are you defending a inept Hollywood executive?

>>85821059
he's the superior Glover in every way

>>85822636
Good books, shitty ending.

>>85806928
>its the test audience
>its the director
>its the script
>its the budget
>its the planets not aligning
>not the nigger lead
fuckin lol

>>85808199
everything i hear is a total mixed bag, but any time i listen to this favorite of mine i'm urged to pick them up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXyKPElhWUM

>>85806604

why does it look like a Marvel movie that takes place in New York instead of some fantasy thing in desert middle earth with robots and monsters? Also doesn't he have a bird?

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>Sony
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKdcjJoXeEY

>>85814694
he's a jew.

he knows a guy who knows a guy and jews always hire their own, regardless of any kind of qualification

>>85822945
>not liking Idris Elba

another cracker who hates the fact he has a tiny cock

Sony should just quit the movie business.

>>85814694
hes a white guy so he gets infinite second chances