Why are there no medieval zombie movies?

no one cares about the dark ages anymore medieval fag

Army of Darkness.

>>85688833
>dark ages
>medieval fag

lmao

>>85688786
>Well, that's idiotic.
I don't think that's idiotic if you make it an entertaining story and it would be cool watching survivors (knights, peasants, etc.) holed up in some castle killing zombies left and right.

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>>85688786
Because medieval warfare is actually very good at fighting zombies.
Formations, armour, spears etc.
Zombies only succeed in modern times due to how emasculated modern men are and how rare protective clothing is.

>>85688786
Wasn't there some movie where the black plague was resurrecting the dead? Maybe I'm imagining shit, but I could have sworn that was a thing

>>85688922
Thread closed

>>85688989
This. Zombies can't bite through chain or brigandine and medieval weapons are basically a massive head trauma waiting to happen, which is what Zombies are vulnerable to.

So, take a few knights, maybe with armored horses, maybe not, and the typical zombie horde would be dead meat.

>>85688999
That was a video game, "Dead Crusade" or something. It got the boot sometime during development.

What if the zombies wore armor too though?

>>85688989
>implying the average man had access to swords, formation training and plate armor and these weren't professional soldiers
>implying zombies in modern days arent even more stupid because any professional modern soldier could kill hundreds of them with no problem

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>>85688989
What about the type of zombies in World War Z (the shitty movie)? How would they fare?

>>85689029
Maybe make them more magical oriented and give them the ability to wield weapons and such? maybe even add some skeleton knights and such.

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>>85688999
Anon speaketh the truth

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1181791/

>>85689128
Is it good?

>>85689072
>>implying the average man had access to swords, formation training and plate armor and these weren't professional soldiers
Bro. l2history.

1. The average guy didn't have plate, but he did have Brigandine (shirt with iron plates on it, basically) - it was famous for easily being made by every Tom, Dick and Harry everywhere and being very effective. Up until the Renaissance, it was literally "even a caveman could do it" tier.

2. Swords? You don't need swords if you have scythes, hammers, makeshift maces, etc. None of these were hard to produce and were used extensively against unarmed opponents.

3. Formation training was well-known since there were many wars all over the place.

4. They were fitter than today's pro soldiers. MUCH fitter. Think Olympic athlete fit. And I'm not even talking about the knights who, by all foreign sources, were pretty much invincible superhumans. The Arab sources, for example, are pretty clear in this.

>>85688786
Game of Thrones is basically that

>>85689187
Yes.

Usual Sean Bean rules apply

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>>85689187
no its just another Sean Bean death simulator

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>>85689072
You had to own a weapon by law in most parts of medieval Europe.
Even if you didn't own a proper weapon, everybody carried a big knife for doing shit with.
In England, specifically, men had to train with their longbow weekly, by law.
Most men had at least a gambeson too, which would stop a zombie bite.

Modern soldiers have trouble with zombies because they're trained to aim for centre mass. and become pretty ineffective without ammo.
Also, they don't want to shoot civilians.

>>85689078
They'd do better than Walking Dead zombies, but formations are made to be charged at.
At one point in medieval history knights were practically invulnerable to everything but bullets, so even if zombies swarmed you the only way you'd die is from the weight of them piling on you or starvation/dehydration after being stuck under them for a while


I think the Victorian era would be more interesting for a zombie apocalypse.

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>zombie apocalypse during dark ages
would be easy mode desu.
Chainmail, plate armour and any blunt weapon would go through a horde like butter

>>85689969
Maybe concentrate on peasants? But then again, those guys were fit af.

>some metal and a hammer gonna stop this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uU0DNCV22dU

Sure thing champ

>>85689128
mmm Carice

>>85690121
*drop boiling oil and a flame arrow from castle wall*

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>>85690121
Physics and biology would stop that mate.

The Blind Dead series... sort of.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tombs_of_the_Blind_Dead

You should watch those movies anyway. They're quite good.

>>85690121
Get a hundred knights and 10 minutes and the threat is gone. They rush in, nobody can stop them, every hit is a kill.

>>85689969
Anyone expecting to wade through the undead in heavy armor is asking to be buried by bodies and suffocated.

>>85690254
Knights could do acrobatics and dances in their armor. Basically, a knight in armor was as mobile as a normal person in street clothes.

>>85690254
they were built for it throughout their lives. Its not like me and you or even someone trained in the military putting it on

>>85689969
Depends on the kind of zombies.

The ones that can't get killed with a simple headshot and can move cut limbs and shit would still be a credible threat. Add to that plague-like ability to infect (maybe like 28 Days Later any blood on you can maybe infect you+Return of the Living Dead burn the bodies and the rain will awake the cemetery next door) and you got yourself a zombie movie with a medieval black plague theme.

>>85688786
Has anyone done Space zombies yet?

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>>85690365

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>>85690272
False.
Full plate armor was exceedingly heavy and cumbersome, and took a small team of squires to put on and take off. It was only worn for short periods of time due to how suffocatingly hot it became on the inside.
You would be fully protected from bites and scratches, but it would only take a few undead to knock you off your feet if you let them get too close to you, which would have a good chance of happening due to your limited mobility and poor field of view through your visor.

>>85690365
Yes. Many, many times. Mostly b-movies.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_zombie_films

That list is incomplete as fuck, but you can see a few space zomb movies on it.

Of course, the most well-known is Plan 9 From Outer Space.

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>>85690412
This is a load of uneducated drivel.
Watch less TV and read more books, maybe some Tobias Capwell.

>>85690412
Getting knock down was a big concern because you can't get back up wearing that kind of armor. It's impossible. Modern repicas are very lightweight compared to historical plate armor. That's why most people only wore a few pieces of it during battle instead of the whole thing like in tournaments and shit.

>zombie situation is not one huge outbreak necessarily but also isolated incidents where a small town gets infected and it must be contained
>bunch of silent and grim warrior monks are an elite zombie destroying unit
>a few scenes with them operating operationally

>>85689221
>4. They were fitter than today's pro soldiers. MUCH fitter. Think Olympic athlete fit. And I'm not even talking about the knights who, by all foreign sources, were pretty much invincible superhumans. The Arab sources, for example, are pretty clear in this.

There's no proof of this (inb4 more rambling with no sources)

>>85690553
>operating operationally
nice autism

>>85690412
Literally go on YouTube and look for "mobility in plate armor"

>>85690412
>it's another "plate armoured knights were immobile" post

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzTwBQniLSc

and now kys, you fucking uneducated nigger who thinks he know everything because of video games

>the /his/ autists are revealing themselves
comfy thread incoming

>>85690584
yes there is, they dredged up a barge that sunk in the Thames with old longbows, when reconstructed, no one existing had the muscles to create the draw force to pull back the longbows (225lb + required)

>>85689078
>the type of zombies in World War Z
what type was that? I watched WWZ but don't remember a thing about it besides the cancer tweeeeeest

>>85690639
It's not a proper replica. The kind of metal seems off and the joints aren't historically accurate to ANY time period except for today's LARPers.

>>85690684
Okay so longbow men were generally strong, that is still one unit, but you also called Knights "invincible superhumans" Do you have any proof of that?

>>85690203
>knights don't get tired
>their helmets could never be ripped off
bruh, they'd get massacred

>>85690768
>i-it's not a proper replica g-guys I know everything about medieval armor I swear

>>85690684
We also have sources on the Bavarian knight Christoph der Starke ("the strong") who could throw a 364 lbs rock for 9 meters and could jump 3.6 meters high (both were popular athletic events back then).

>>85690780
not him but
>And although the knights' armour protected them well (the Turks called them 'men of iron')

from the Battle of Dorylaeum (1097)

>>85690786
>>knights don't get tired
They were accustomed to fight for days in melee. Helmets were fastened, of course.

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>you can literally bait the enemy into following whichever path you like
>they wont give it a second thought thinking theyre likely to be ambushed
>they wont stop or realise there is a natural barrier between them and yourselves, such as a cliff edge.
>they wont turn around when theyre covered in oil and lit aflame, or scattered in arrows
are people actually arguing it would be a challenge?

>>85690684
Some bows, pre-crossbows, were stationary and the cord pulled back mechanically. It was the ancestor of the crossbow, but not portable while firing. It was mostly used on ships to shoot at a longer range.

>>85690780
>Okay so longbow men were generally strong, that is still one unit, but you also called Knights "invincible superhumans" Do you have any proof of that?
Arab sources mainly, why? The Arab writers said the "Franks" (ie. Europeans) were impervious to any attack and strong and fearless like wild animals. They were pretty butthurt about it.

>>85689029
i actually like that idea but i would expand on it. for example, you could explain the spread more easily what with the lack of modern technology. so you could say towns and farms were hit before anyone even noticed and the horde is so large that they overwhelm armies by fatigue alone. nobody dies but they cant kill zombies fast enough to protect the surrounding towns.

>>85690905
>225 lbs pull
That's a pretty weak mounted bow.

>>85690684
>what is concretion

>>85688989
Also because we have cities now.

In the dark ages the population was sparse as shit.

>>85689128
Thanks anon although I have a feeling I've watched it before, will check it out.

>>85688833
I know right? Anyways back to /got/ I go

>>85690835
>Medieval men were stronger than current day professional athletes! It says so right here in my embellished stories from a thousand years ago!

Just stop

>>85690941
It wasn't mounted, not really. It was portable (you could fire from anywhere on the ship) but due to the pulling device, it was immobile while firing.

Fuck, I don't remembe rwhat it was called. Years ago I was into medieval waeponry and found out about it while reading about the history of crossbows. It was a big technological advantage over regular bows as the ship could stay farther away and fire arrows to the other ship.

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>666 AD

That's cute, anon.

>>85690835
>>85690920
>i believe everything people used to write down because exaggerating and making shit up wasn't common in the middle ages

>>85690526
No, they didn't.

>>85688786
the zombie genre is popular because it represents the death of mindless modern consumerism and numb surburban normality

these arnt a problem in "i have to farm or ill die" middle ages

>>85691145
Read a few medieval books.
http://www.thortrains.com/getright/kingsmirror.html

shield>armor

always

>>85690835
Kek, kill yourself you retard.

Actually studied history here. You have ni idea how fuck sparse history from that period is.

There are entire fuck years where literally the only source for it is some rich cunt who wrote "there was a war on Saturday". I'm not joking.

I can assure you they were not "fitter"; they were much smaller on average, their nutrition was basically non existent ("muh bread"), and SOME longbow men were beasts and fed well, but most weren't. Firing a longbow isn't as hard as you think, and one dodgy estimate of draw strength isn't enough to prove otherwise. Stories and feats were embellished by the VERY VERY FEW PEOPLE who could read or write in the first place.

>>85691064
>"What proof do you have?"
>"I WON'T ACCEPT THIS PROOF!"

>>85691076
Nice headcanon, bro.

>>85691386
>Actually studied history here.
Lmao. American fucking education.

>>85689078
WWZ book mentioned they had put down several outbreaks back then

>>85688786
>Some time ago, I had the idea of writing a script about zombies in the Dark Ages. I wanted to call it "666 AD" and it's about zombies overrunign Europe.
Just don't. First of all, it's been done already. Just because you haven't found out about it, it doesn't mean it wasn't done.

Second, that title is stupid as fuck and it sounds like a cheesy, shitty C-movie with The Room-tier people working on it.

Third, it's idiotic indeed because IT'S BEEN DONE. Stop.

>>85691317
I think the zombie genre had long evolved into post apocalyptic survival preparation technique which is right into the lap of medieval

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We need more skeleton movies instead tbqh

>>85691683
>an army where the standard soldier weighs 80% less
quick smash of the shield would do it

>>85691362
Nice blog, but it's irrelevant. Nobody even had plate armour in 1250 and it mostly refers to chainmail and padded leather. Fully decked out knights with shields didn't happen because it's redundant to have a shitty wooden shield when plate armour is impervious to pretty much everything already and you could have both hands free and use a pole-arm. Everyone in the middle ages would be wearing full plate armour if they could, but they couldn't because it was expensive as fuck.

>>85689128
dowloading now. sean bean better die by the end of it.

>>85691726
Magic Bone(r)s. They can't be destroyed, but you can send them flying with a light push. Imagine the CGI scene lol

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>>85691094
There were tales on both sides that spoke of the same. Of Crusaders (and mind you, this was BEFORE plate armour) marching in formation still after getting pelted with arrows. They looked like hedgehogs because if the arrows pierced the mail, they would get stuck on the gambeson.
This was just mail and a gambeson, if you add plate to that you're virtually impervious to anything that isn't gunpowder powered. A Knight was worth 10 regular men and even in the days after the Battle of the Golden Spurs (or even Agincourt) where the traditional cavalry charge became less and less effective, a Knight was still a fierce player.

t. Military History fag.

Just because you're historically illiterate it doesn't mean everyone is, dumb fuck.

As for OP, just don't. I cringed at the sight of it and judging by the way you put forth your idea, you're not gonna do a better job of writing this.

>>85690920
>trained fighters in armor translates to invincible superhumans on average capable of olympian feats

come on famalam

>This thread

Jesus Christ, no one knows an actual thing

>>85692057
actually
>>85691386
does know something; that nobody knows a god damn thing

>>85692057
some people know their shit, it's just the majority that doesn't
>>85691386
>>85692085
>samefagging your shitty post

>>85690526
Getting knock down was a big concern because the guy that knocks you down can take two steps forward and stab you to death. Same shit as today.

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maybe if it actually shows something else other than medieval England AGAIN

> Realizing there are some Medieval setting games with zombie invasions

Huh.

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>zombie anything that's not Walking Dead

You're about a decade behind the craze m8.

>>85693718

>shows something else other than medieval England AGAIN

And they don't even accomplish that well

>>85689249
This. Game of Thrones is medieval and has zombies.

>Guy commissions a suit of impenetrable armor
>Falls down in the mud early on in the movie
>Can't get up
>Zombies can't eat him
>Check back in wacky credits scene, he's still there

>plate armor weighed alot meme

>>85688989
Which would be a great thing to write a story about. Organized medieval resistance against a manageable but disorganized infectious zombie mob. I would like to read or see that story even if the zombies don't stand a chance.

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>>85688922
I came to post this.

>>85688786
Because the whole idea revolves around the modern society.

>>85693908
>falling down was a death sentence
>despite this plate armour was still used extensively for centuries
Unlike you people back then weren't completely retarded

>>85695262
You could easily turn zombies into an allegory for the black plague.

>>85688786
>666 AD
not a fan of the title. and it sounds like an awkward hodgepodge of genres as zombies these days aren't typically demonic.

Who the fuck even cares about zombie shit anymore?

We have seen it all.

>fast zombies
>slow zombies
>zombies in present times (TWD, Dawn of the Dead etc.)
>zombies in fantasy settings like in GoT
>there is endless zombie games


and zombkes in the past is even more boring because >no guns.

>>85688989
Do you think everyone owned a suit of armor back then?

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>>85689360
>I think the Victorian era would be more interesting for a zombie apocalypse.
Pic related?

>>85695262
This. The zombie story as we know it was intended to scare modern people.

>>85695750
>Someone unironically made this post
Jesus, imagine the sad life this prick must be leading.

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Just came out

>>85697714
Fuck yeah

>>85697556
Jesus imagine somebody still caring about zombie movies/tvshows/games in 2017

your life is sadder than mine could ever be

>>85690365
Doom

>>85694395
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fa2irrYK09w

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>>85690365
Imaginary space zombies!

>>85691804
well, just watched it. wasn't disappointed.

I actually really like that idea. Imagine how cool it would be with castles and shit

>>85699964
Should I watch it tonight?

>>85700106
not that guy, but black death is pretty fun. watch it

>>85699927
is bretty darn good movie

i thought about doing it too
but instead of muh science and virus stuff that is everywhere these days i thought about black magic zombies the type that can walk even without head and stuff like that

>>85696186
This is a guilty pleasure of mine. Very few comedy lines, the true comedy comes from the absurd premise where they're dancing and courting each other while the zombies are ravaging the country side.

>>85688922
>>85689015
>>85694985
>chainsaw and shotgun in the medieval ages
Pretty sure that's not what they're getting at, retards.

>>85700151
Okily dokily

>>85689221
>average person was as fit as olympic athlete
I've seen my fair share of retards on 4chan but I think you take the cake

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>>85688786
I agree actually, necromancers are a common trope in fantasy yet outside GoT and AoD there really isn't any fantasy movie with a theme of fighting a necromancer and his undead army.

Maybe they could make a movie about his quest to gain power and finally rise the dead to conquer the kingdom.

ITT: "Muh medieval fantasy is the best because I fail life in the modern life"

>>85688922
>What if a guy had a chainsaw and shotgun in medieval ages. That counts right?

Thats not even close though, Plus, I'd prefer it not be played for jokes. Not OP by the way

>>85696186
not Victorian, look at those flintlocks

>>85690701
It wasn't cancer, did you watch the movie?

>>85690365
the expanse fora tv example
it's fake and gay as fuck

>>85689029
The Zombies would need another form of infecting people. Like the Zombie/vampires in The Strain do over blood parasites. It could also be an airborne infection or something that only affects a certain blood type.

>>85688786
i had a similar idea for a book but where it takes place in the post apocalyptic nuclear future far enough to where people have forgotten about our society.

Basically during the apocalypse there is a rediscovery of Religions including Judaism and Christianity. Then some decades after that it leads to a cult of christian fanatics who are traveling from North America to reclaim the holy land on horse back crusader style.

Along the way they encounter mutants and other humans. The one gimmick about them is that they have a very literal translation of the Bible which leads to shit like cannibalism. But all the while believing they do gods work. And they despise Jews and Jews despise them.

It would follow their preacher leader and a Jewish surgeon/doctor/medicine man who ends up joining their group first by lying about being a Christian and being their doctor then is discovered to be a Jew and is kept around by necessity for his trade but faces severe ridicule daily.

Had a bunch of cool scenes i thought out like the Jew finding another Christian surgeon but deceiving him and murdering him in secret. The Jew ultimately being crucified because the group believes they are cursed. A lynching on a palm tree.

Sort of like the hills have eyes meets the book of Eli meets the crusades

Well whatever I thought it'd be cool

>>85700833
I didn't say it was. I was being purposefully ambiguous so as not to ruin the tweeeeeeest for others

>>85694680
Fun thought experiment =! A good story
It's the same reason why people think The Purge is a good series, they're in love with daydreaming about the ability to commit crimes without consequences and just ignore how bad the actual movies are

>>85689187
>>85689128
It's absolute shit.

But the ending is one of the best things I've ever seen. Absolutely red pilled.

>>85701716
the ending would have been dumb and corny as shit if they hadn't played it straight for the entire movie before it.