Let me tell you something about Bane We were best friends at

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Let me tell you something about Bane
We were best friends at the academy. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my men who were totally loyal but then they moved to the FBI, and Bane was like, weirdly jealous of them. Like, if I would blow him off to fly out with Smee, he'd be like, "Why would you shoot a man before throwing him out of a plane?" And I'd be like, "Why do you wear the mask?" So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-CIA bootcamp, I was like, "Bane, I can't invite you, because I think you're a mercenary." I mean I couldn't have a mercenary at my party. There were gonna be agents there in their powerstance. I mean, right? He was a mercenary. So then his league called my agency and started yelling at it, it was so retarded. And then he vanished in a pit because no one would talk to him, and then the fire rised, all of his hair was cut off and he was totally wearing a mask, and now I guess he's on painkillers.