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Dunkirk for Plebs

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How Dunkirk would be done by American directors.

>musical intro with horn trumpets and drums
>DOOO DOOO DOOO DOOOOOOO
>narration by the main character about how war is heroic beating the nazis was amazing
>"Those boys fought for liberdy n freedum, we are so prooud"
>Intro scene: extremely violent and unnecessary gory battle between British/French and Germans
>American actors are doing British accents
>OW MY BLOODY NOGGIN, GET THOSE BLOODY KRAUTS PIP PIP CHEERIO
>Germans are getting killed in every shot despite the opposite happening irl
>British Lieutenant with a massive mustache walks over the the decapitated German bodies
>JOLLY GOOD SHOW LADS BUT BLOODY CENTRAL COMMAND HAS ORRDERED US TO FALL BACK
>"WHAT BLOODY TOSSAHS WE WERE KICKIN THEIR BUMS WE WERE!" a voice cries from the distance
>"NOW NOW LADS IT ISHIS MAJESTY'S ARMY NOW LETS RETREAT!"

>Characters are walking next to eachother
>they all talk about their families and girlfriends back home
>ME N THE MISSES ARE GETTIN MARRIED WHEN WE GET BACK BY CHRISTMAS LADS
>(this extra with no name gets killed in an over-dramatic death scene at the end of the film)
>I JUST HATE HITLER SO MUCH LADS, HE'S GASSING THE JEWS AS WE SPEAK
>cue montage of jewish kids in camps being whipped by SS officers in gas masks with sad piano music

>final scene is RAF pilots blowing up German destroyers while they're eating biscuits and Rule Britannia plays
>in subtitles it says that it is the national anthem
>>
>>85621750
Accurate
>>
>eurofags are still assblasted they needed some help from eagle land

Every time.
>>
>>85621750
>>in subtitles it says that it is the national anthem

lol
>>
>>85622126
Americans still believe the war was won because they helped.
Americans still believe Russia lost the cold war
>>
>>85621750
Nolan BTFO???
>>
america is dumb
>>
>I need to listen to state propaganda to make myself feel strong
>>
Things missing:
>a diverse cast
There'd be one token white who was constantly making self loathing jokes and apologizing for being white.
>Top 100 songs from the 80's
>Horrid, sterile TV tier cinematography
>the trailer would have "From The Producers of..."
>some epic line near the end of the movie where you can clearly tell the subtext is about Trump
>>
>>85622415
America supplied the USSR and Britain. The USSR would have stood no chance without America
>>
>>85624172
Lend-Lease had no little to no impact in the USSR until after Stalingrad, by which point the war was quite decided. I'm American and the "Lend-Lease won World War II" meme makes us look bad.
>>
Hitler let them live.
>>
I went and watched this today and at the end of the movie a good portion of the theater was clapping. I thought Americans clapping after movies was a meme but these fat fucks actually do this. How embarrassing
>>
>>85624310
Read up on it before commenting. Makes you look dumb.
>>
>>85621750

but original film already for plebs
>>
>>85624109
Ends with the line
>OI LADS AIN'T IT WEIRD THAT WE'RE ALLOWED TO FREELY TRAVEL FROM EUROPE TO IN-GER-LAND BUT THEM MUSLIMS ARE NOT? MAYBE WE SHOULDN'TA VOTID FOR BREXIT, EH?
>>
Was just me or the narrative of dunkirk was pretty dumb? I mean the special effects were amazing, but whenever a story started to unfold it just resovled in a very unsatisfactory way because there just wasn't enough time to develope things any further than "there's a problem, and somehow it will unfold".
This movie was a mess storywise. Nolan just can't handle that many stories in two hours.
Thread posts: 17
Thread images: 1


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