Why was Valerian such a big, fat, bloated, chunky, corpulent flop?

>>85585422

why are you talking about shitty movies here? that's exactly what the people behind this garbage are counting on.

because you are a faggot

It will be a cult classic eventually.

Hasn't even been released in most countries either.

rihanna gettin fat

>>85585422
Ryan Hanna looks more fuckable than ever.

>>85585451
Movies that are marketed as ready-made cult classics before they even come out always reek of corporate vacuousness.
See: Mad Max: Fury Road, John Wick, Atomic Blonde

>>85585422
Rihanna has really let herself go, sad!

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>>85585469
What's next for RiRi's career?

Why don't women want to be attractive anymore?

>>85585526

A Beercheese Burger from Carls Jr with beer.

>>85585532
>>>/pol/

>>85585422
it's the best movie currently playing in cinemas you plebtard.

>>85585526

porn, hopefully

i hope riri does a nude shoot in her current state

she's so thicc bros

>>85585526
a dream pop album

>>85585532
strange way of saying you are gay. blaming women. i like it!

>>85585532
Lena Dunham is leading the way.

The movie would have been fine if they dropped those gay bald aliens

lol since when was rihanna fat

>>85585422

Because people don't want to watch a beta nu-male faggot and a tranny play make believe in space.

>>85585422
WTF HAPPENED TO RIHANNA. .?....??

>>85585526
A buzz cut, blue hair dye and EMPOWERMENT

>>85585556
I'm not from /pol/. I used to find Cara and Rihanna attractive, but they're purposely lowering their attractive levels to fit into to some weird new age agenda.

>>85585422

The acting, the plot, the dialogue, the story.

Fucking stupid and shitty as hell.

Would have been a low grade after school movie if it weren't for the $200 million in effects.

>>85585526
>>85585422
>>85585469
>>85585511

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vANcgolYNds

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>>85585652
Shes been getting pretty bad since the end of 2016.

>>85585695
what's it like to be a pleb, redditor?

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>>85585706
It's pathetic really.

>>85585422

A fat black woman wearing an outfit three sizes to small for her, and an androgynous looking female with a short boyish cut.......Hollywood.

>>85585694
you need to lay off the conspiracies and hidden grand narratives

Rihanna simply got fat (happens often to women as they age) and Cara's always been really weird

>>85585744

Not a redditor.

There is no way you can make a case for this movie to be good on any level.

>>85585752
It's delicious. This fat Rihanna looks fucking hotter than ever. Fuck seeing that makes me wanna fuck so bad.

>>85585791
>Not a redditor.
with that reddit spacing there's no denying it.
And yes I can pleb, if you think the fifth element was a good movie, you can't say that velerian is a bad one.

>>85585422
Cara is legitimately ugly as sin

>>85585526
being my Chardonnay-abusing wealthy widowed neighbor that has me working odd jobs on her house when i am 18 and need some spare cash and my dad's a cheap fuck and over the course of the summer things escalate,in my fantasies and also potential movie script

>>85585497
but two of those are fucking great though

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That's alot of material.

>>85585576
Dunkirk, Apes, and even the superman film are vastly better then this film.

>>85585497
>John Wick, Atomic Blonde

What trying to say these were bad?

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>>85585955

>>85585922
>Dunkirk
kek. stopped reading there

>>85585840
reddit spacing is a meme and only people who visit reddit would know what reddit spacing is, you fagget

>>85585422
Pic relate damn riri is a fat slob

Did they digitally remove her fat in the movie? She looked thinner when she was doing her stupid dance

>>85585841
she always has been, idk who thought she was good looking. she has a shit tier body and weird face. she's famous because her parents have influence

>>85585955
I hate these high-quality pictures because you can see how nasty and pimply their skin is under the makeup.

>>85585922
there's a superman movie?

>>85585422
Do you think Eyebrows ate her asshole?

>>85585422
She's pregnant you retards

>>85586004
And why did her character die so abruptly? Did that happen in the comics?

>>85585974
fuck off you lying fag
you lie that you know about movies, you lie about not being a redditor, and now I'm supposed to listen to you?
leave

>>85585955

Was Rihanna in prison? What is with all the prison tats?

>>85586081
You need to go back lad

>>85585840

The Fifth Element had good acting, likable characters, decent plot and good dialogue.

Valerian had none of that.

>>85586225
>>>The Fifth Element had good acting,

Reddit opinion.

>>85586225
>had good acting
not really, it had bruce willis which is the definition of a action male lead, and that is the only plus it has compared to valerian
>likable characters
valerian has that too
>decent plot
what's wrong with valerians plot?
>good dialogue
eeh, can't seem to remember any iconic lines from that movie

>>85585955
Literally the body of my ex
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

>>85586332
>can't seem to remember any iconic lines from that movie

Why is that always the merit of good dialog to plebs.

>>85586332
>it had bruce willis which is the definition of a action male lead
And Gary Oldman and Chris Tucker at the best career has ever been?

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>>85585840

When the fuck are people going to fuck off with this reddit spacing shit? kys you fucking newfag piece of shit

They wasted a lot of time on stupid shit and I really hated those blue aliens

>>85585526
She gets casted in a resident evil reboot working for the Umbrella corporation ay ay ay ay

>>85586362

You're just not...

>SUPER GREEN

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hey bros, just made this

https://youtu.be/VaWCEzfXCaU

>>85586395
there weren't redditors back in 09?
holy crap...

>>85586425
all very valid reasons you pleb ass, thanks for sharing

>>85585841
screw you asshole

>>85586472

The original anons were goons from SA. We're all immigrants here.

>>85585955
wtf are those bumps on women's faces ?

>>85585422
Damn, Rihanna looks thick as fuck.. and because it was a shit movie? Idk.. didn't bother watching it.

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>>85585968
Leo would still tap that

>>85586524
pimples

>>85586524
Spots. Turns out caking your skin with makeup and blocking all your pores is really bad for you.

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>>85586516
nuh uh, I've been here since before 9/11

If you don't remember shitposting in the Howard Stern thread that day, you will always be a newfag

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>>85586043

o know a woman with that some zits, how will I ever fuck her vagina, fat ass and huge tits

>>85586055
like a watermelon

>>85586332


>Huge vastness of space a space battle takes place above a specific planet for no explained reason
>The battle has to take place in the gravity pull of a planet
>Spaceships are falling to the ground
>Planet exploding
>Lifeforms take refugee in a just crashed non-working spaceship
>Spaceship that just crashed survives the explosion of the planet
>Aliens have no breathable air, temperature controls to stop from freezing, no food, or water, and somehow the aliens aren't affected by a zero gravity environment.
>Aliens in non-working spaceship who have never seen a spaceship make it work

Should I continue with the stupidity of this movie?

>>85585526
She'll be my mommy

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>>85586796
giv rihanna mommy gf

>>85586932

based giv poster

>>85585581
Same


>>85585810
I agree. She looks much better like this

>>85585810
>>85585581
>>85587041
If she does a nude it'll be great they can just push the empowerment bullshit, since so many people seemed to be fat shaming her right now.

>>85587138
Exactly. I fucking hope she does it

>>85585903
oprah

>>85587138
The thing is that there's nothing wrong with being as thick as Rihanna is now. It becomes a problem when people like the girl from Precious talk about "body acceptance"

>>85586332
>Valerian
>Likable characters
Kek

>>85586472

I wonder if you honestly believe that Reddit influenced 4chan that far back. Like, are you that delusional or are you just memeing?

I have older screencaps from before Reddit existed but I'm too lazy to dig through and find them

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>>85586241
I like the Ri when she got nipple piercings.

>>85587278
Funny thing is, it isn't until it is, if you know what I mean. I mean I remember when getting thicc or chubby pussy was easy as fuck, women had such low self esteem, they could suck the skin offf your dick. Now because of all this feminazi body acceptance, thicc chicks rock bullshit, thicc or chubby bitches think they actually worth a damn and they make less effort to suck the skin off your dick, unless of course you act alpha as fuck, then they are pure kino whores.

>>85587694
SIGH Simpler times

>>85585422

Trannys- two of them right there man. Look at that jawline, man. Those wide shoulders. That brow ridge, those deep set eyes. Lack of natural female hips. Trannys!

https://youtu.be/e9uYhGRZIzY

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>>85587553
Same

>>85587783
You're one of those "all famous people are secretly trannys" weirdos...

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>>85587553
LAD

>>85587783
Sorry about the miscarriage, Veronica :(

>>85585422
>>85585526
CHLOED

Why does Rihanna look like a Huezilian tranny here?

>rihanna is a mega slut who is rapidly aging
>this increases the chance you will bone her by .5%

You win some you lose some

>>85585422

>A big meh trailer
>A big meh casting
>Relying on comparing it to Avatar
>A very big expectation, really, 150 million budget or so? Why?

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>>85588031

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Cara made a music video for the song she did for Valerian

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmV5MW_XAtg

fucking LMAO

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>>85588456
BACK OFF, VOLDEMORT!!!

>>85588456
Can someone post ONE pic of Cara where she looks feminine and pretty.

I'm here all night

>>85588456
>that music video


kek

The first five minutes were great. The next thirty minutes were good. What happened to the plot and the pace once they made it the city?

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>>85588551
here (you) go senpai

>>85588456

>when daddy put the half movie's budget.

>>85588812

What a shitty pair of tits.

>>85588812
Is that a real pic?

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>>85585526
>she will never wash your mouth with pepper for being a rude boy

these Caribbean feels

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>>85588812
reminds me of those pig people from the twilight zone episode

>>85588887
wew so close >>>>85588888

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>>85588933
It's finally her turn.

>>85588812
Hey serious wassamatta wid dis broad? She's got them eyebrows like my fuckin uncle Caro. They look like bushes - like fucking bushes, same as my uncle back in Sicily, jesus

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>>85589000
mirin' those trips, breh

this movie was bad for a couple reasons

1-the leads have no charisma, their dialogue is both poorly delivered and clearly poorly written too. you cant blame them entirely when the script is clearly bad. somehow the guy managed to be even worse than cara delevigne was. i never at any point in the movie felt convinced that these were respectable operators and high-ranking military agents, they just never presented that kind of competence and experience. they always felt like cringey young people
2-the most attractive part of the movie is shots of cool cgi alien worlds and settings, but very little time is actually spent exploring these settings, the majority of the movie is spent on various spaceships with boring dialogue
3-the climax and resolution of the story is both preachy and forced. the blue bald aliens were clearly the good guys as was established in the very first scene of the movie, so making the resolution of the movie a big "reveal" of how they arent the bad guys makes no sense and all that time spent on exposition, showing you how they are actually the good guys just makes you think "yeah i got that already"

>>85585422
because Besson constantly hyped the movie and set audience expectations too high. he wants that Fifth Element recognition again. he should've spent more time marketing towards people who would enjoy it for what is does have to offer or enjoy it for what it is. it's a b-movie.

I want watch valerian because I want sex Rihanna
https://youtu.be/6_W_xLWtNa0

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>>85589425
you n me both, buddy boi ;) :0

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>>85589461

>>85585422
THICCC
>>85585526
MUH BEPIS
>>85585955
mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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>>85588812
I like this one. It's a much more sensual pose.

>>85589872
>the sexiest pics of cara are the ones where her face is partially obscured

Cara is the "quirky" girl that ends up being a bore in bed, bet that's why she's a carpet muncher.

I find her oddly cute in a weird way, but the quirky shit gets old real fast.

>>85586004
She filmed the movie when she was still thin

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>>85585526

Giving me a big, fat, bloated, chunky, corpulent boner.

>>85586053
i meant spider-man

>>85585526
"working" on muh dick

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HL1UzIK-flA

>>85585526
She needs to lose some weight.

>>85590995
She doesn't.

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>>85590954
COME HERE RUDE BOY BOY CAN YOU GET IT UP
>COME HERE RUDE BOY BOY IS YOU BIG ENOUGH

>>85585841
This

>caterpillars living above her eyes
>face of a 16 year old twink
>popsicle stick body with nothing to grab onto

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>>85588551

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>>85586241
>>85587553
>>85588008
>>85588031
>>85588387
>>85589461
>>85590954
>Literally me rn

>>85590954
>The Real Jerk
did norm open a reggae dance hall?

>>85586571

Leo is slowly turning into Steven Seagal.

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>>85588538
my fucking sides hahahahahahahahaha

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>>85591184
kek
we all know that feel m8

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>>85590954
>4:08 onwards

muh fucking dick

>>85585497
yeah those are meme fotm movies that barely get 1-2 threads

real cult classic so far is batman v superman

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>>85588387
>>85588031
>>85588008
>>85587553
>>85586241
>>85585955

FUCK

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>>85586571
Leo BWC confirmed? I mean it def can't be average for Rihanna to be saying he's "the best she's ever had".

>>85585694
3rd wave feminism and liberal propaganda all under the umbrella of cultural Marxism.
They're killing families and eliminating competition in the markets.

>>85585556
>anything that hurts my feelings must be compartmentalized in /pol/
you are a true faggot

>>85589461
thats a prime doggystyle position

>>85585589
Woman poster detected.
Shut up you stupid dyke and forgive your dad, he raised you after all.

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I want to _____ a Rihanna

Rihanna is pretty hot, but she's a god-awful actor and her character in the movie dies in about 5 seconds anyway after achieving nothing.

This movie's plot is a mess, and that's its biggest issue. The plot is basically

>Part 1: Steal this rare animal that becomes important only at the very end
>Part 2: investigate some mysteyr on the station, unrelated to Part 1
>Part 3: Chick has to rescue the guy after he crashes his plane and go through a really convoluted quest to do it. Nothing to do with greater plot
>Part 4: Guy has to rescue chick after she gets captured by these dumb alien cannibals immediately after she rescues him. Another long, convoluted quest that has nothing to do with the plot.
>Part 5: They finally get back to the plot and part 1 becomes important again, very anti-climatic conclusion

>>85585755
they're just pandering to the dumb faggots in those demographics.
Smart, straight white people aren't buying it.

>>85591426
>believing celebrity tabloid magazines
are you a walking meme?

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>>85591906
SPOILERS PLS

>>85591183
>as she's walking with her dyke gf
what did he mean by this?

>>85591799
Ya'll do remember she's got herpes, right?

>>85592250
...and then some, people forget that she was a literal whore from Barbados.

>>85592250
I'd still let her suck me off and then ride me.

>>85592250

I'm still willing to roll those dice at least once.

>>85591799
fuck

>>85592250
Everyone in Hollywood does.

>>85585422
What is on Caras underboob?

>>85592783
tattoos.

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GIB BAHAMA MAMA

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>>85592250
worth it desu
>me in the middle

>>85593040
looks like gondola

>>85593040
legs-go-all-the-way-up rihanna

>>85585422
Man, when it rains she must need a very large umbrella
ella
ella
eh
eh
eh

>>>38699903

have some rihanna nudes friends

>>85593040
You're a fag taking a selfie with his boyfriend at a Rhianna concert?

>>85593452
im retarded, here they are

>>>/r9k/38699903

>>85591311
>from left to right
>wife
>husband
>wife's bull

>>85593582
god bless

>>85585422
it casted people for the audience it wanted not the audience that wanted it

>>85586571
BLEACHED

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>>85593040
>white """"""""""people""""""""""

>>85591311
Rihanna looks like black Amber Heard in this pic

RiRi's new video w/ Kung Fu Kenny
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dlh-dzB2U4Y

>>85586643
The most famous photo of all time. Amazing how it even survived. RIP that guy

>>85592250
Yeah, isn't that why Chris Brown whooped her ass

>>85586472
They were straight faggots, I was new here and couldn't believe how gay it was.

There was some cornball who would post a picture of a green circle and everyone would reply to him as mr. oval. It was terrible

>>85585422
I liked it. A lot. Americans are just mad it isn't their typical Hollywood movie following the exact same fucking tropes they hate, but a European movie instead that's fresh, creative and unusual. Everyone else is loving it.

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>>85596529
>Everyone else is loving it.
why you always lying?

>>85597138
>third world countries
>entries are representative of opinions

Okay.

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Rihanna is one thicc bih !!!

>>85585526
A lipo, hopefully.

>>85597573
please don't say bad things about the mommy goddess

>>85585422
>both have tattoos on tits
Why americans such stupid whores?

>>85585422
T H I C C E S T

>we are so PC now that Barstool fired someone for calling Rihanna fat
2bh kill everyone

>>85597638
>americans
but neither are american

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>>85597529

How long until we get a /celeb/ board so you waifufaggots can fuck off and jerk off to obese women in a containment board?

>>85585694
it's called aging

how big is riris penis

>>85597800
ew. not even thicc.

>>85592250
She does not. She's got oral herpes, like every non-virgin.

>>85586225
no it le didn't.

fifth element was just as shit as valerian.

I was like 15 or something when it came out and I could already see how childish and simple it was. Didn't help that I had seen Star Wars like a billion times so I had some fucking standards when it comes to simplistic space movies.

Valerian might become a "cult classic" too when its underage b& faggot audience grows older and looks back to it through nostalgia tinted glasses that blinds them to its blatant flaws.

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>>85599526
Very big.

>>85585422
Did someone photoshop the tits off the lefthand female?

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>>85585577
>porn, hopefully
I don't understand why she doesn't just do porn anyway?

>her nudes leaked
>she knows every guy jerks off to her
>she is getting old
Might as well give us some heaven on paradise and do some type of sexual film

Can you imagine how good it would be to see a guy's privates rubbing on that forehead of hers

>>85585863
I'm very proud of myself for reading and understanding that. It was an interesting read drunk anon, but I think the concept is best suited for porn.

>>85586740
>Forgetting the literal "muh 6,000,000" that's in the dialogue.

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>>85599635
Who knows what future will bring...She said she would never pose naked either.

>>85599540
>It's cool to have chronic mouth sores because muh poosi

I can't wait for my spellbook to arrive in the mail.

>>85585526
Bacon burger meal with a shake with Ronnie

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>>85586472
>there weren't redditors back in 2005

>>85585422
It was a fantastic IMAX experience. No clue why Star Wars Rogue One and Spider-Man Homecoming got better reviews than this.

>>85599615
god damn!

>>85586571

Interesting that random sluts that Leo bangs claim he's a lazy stoner with no game, yet his celeb pal who is desperate to get into films heaps praise on him.

Hmmmmm.

>>85599599
>seen Star Wars like a billion times
>had standards
yeah doubt it...

>>85586740
they have magic energy pearls and are a very intelligent species. I don't know if their planet was 100% destroyed like blown to pieces or just so fucked up that they can't live there anymore cause they're like very clean and shit.

>>85588380
>>Relying on comparing it to Avatar
where do you get this from burger? cause it has blue aliens in it? holy shit...

>>85588688
>What happened to the plot and the pace once they made it the city?
it actually picked up speed and quality once they get to Alpha, imho

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>>85593090

>>85585526
losing 20 punds

luc besson is a mouthbreathing fuckbrain

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>>85585903
why is she wearing one of Ronnie Colemans old suits?

>>85594794
Thats fake you dumb ape

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>>85585422
>literalwhat franchise
>two leads with no box office draw
>180~ million budget

Seriously, who could not predict this would flop terribly?

>>85585526
Look at this fat bitch
At least she's not sweating profusely

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>Celebs are getting """""THICC""""""
>Women across the west are getting fatter and fatter
>2/3rds of women in some places are now obese, not just overweight
>Body positive encouraging women to let themselves go and show of their fat bodies
>UK government just announced plans to ban all "body-shaming" ads
> THICC meme is now well into mainstream, and now dissolving into pure fatty worship

Has there ever been a better time to be a chubby chaser lads???

>>85603044
The worst time, now these fat cows are even more delusional than before

>>85601500
That was established in the trailer

Their mistake was putting Cara Delevigne in a movie that doesn't specifically cater towards women. They thought she'd girls to watch a guy movie, but she looks more like box office poison than anything else when she's not doing some teen drama.

>>85586010
This. She's related to British royalty ffs.

>>85588456
She looks like my twinky gay cousin.

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>>85601927

>>85593090
>>85601927
kek

>>85603094
Exactly. If you were a chubby chaser you could have been swimming in pussy 10 years ago. Now fatties think they're attractive and have increased their standards.

>>85585526
An album called 'The Wall'

>>85585752
lmao holy shit

>>85586332

>t. fugly Cara

>>85591183
wait is that st annie clark?

>>85603879
Why aren't there female chub chasers?

Because idiots keep trying to force shitty pop stars into acting roles.

>>85606318

She & Cara used to date.

>>85586571
decrapio should just take up aikido, release an album about punani and be done with it

>>85585422
because they didn't kiss enough jew ass.

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Is Cara a lesbian?

>>85601927
fucking jej

>>85601927
haha

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They did it once at least.

>>85586524
women don't know you need to sand after spackling and before painting

>>85606387
There are, they just don't talk about it a lot. It's more of a fetish for "strong and fat" guys though

>>85585422
Rhianna always had an ugly pug dog face but now you can even tell that that bitch is drinking too much beer and being a lazy cunt of an entertainer, really going from bad to worse.

RIGHT IS A PIG FACED DYKE USING MOMMY AND DADDY'S MONEY/CONNECTIONS TO GET FAMOUS!!! LEFT IS A DUMB BITCH FAMOUS FOR GETTING HER FACE PUNCHED IN AND THEN GOING BACK TO THE PIECE OF SHIT WHO DID IT!!!FACT!!!

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>>85589006

Here's what your uncle Caro's daughter might look like

>>85585556
muh /pol/ bogeyman strikes again

>>85607201
Rhinnea is beautiful. I saw her in person.

>>85585469
Leave her alone, shitlord! http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4563920/Writer-called-Rihanna-fat-loses-blogging-gig.html

>>85585422
I can't decide which of the is more hideous...

>>85585526
An upperarm-fat transplant operation.

>>85608118
It's fine to have your own opinion, not going to fault you.

It's literally too old school for most people. They just see it as a dumb shitty version of Star Wars, not realizing Star Wars ripped off Valerian in the first place.

>>85585526
Hopefully no more acting.

>>85607201
She is literally Nubian Goddess