The Emoji Movie

>>85572250
>$15 for non-3D movie ticket

>>85572250
WHAT IF I MAKE THE WRONG FACE?!?!!!

>>85572289
This is beyond my control

>>85572289
15$ for a movie ticket's too much for me, I'm only looking forward to Blade Runner this year

>>85572317
You'll be ok because Gene fixed everything

>>85572250
Was it better than The LEGO Movie (2014)?

>>85572373
Some movies are worth the sacrifice

>>85572250
what's the post credits scene?

>>85572484
Not even close to be honest, this was horrendous on multiple levels

>>85572250
Have you ever considered a manicure?

>>85572514
I think it was the female smile emoji (who is the primary villain in the plot) playing a card game with some other emojis in braces and they made fun of her. I was so discontent that I wasn't paying much attention at that point

>>85572571
Considered? Sure, but even as someone who is pretty well groomed, who gives a shit?

>>85572289
This.
If it's not 3D I wait for $5 Tuesdays.

>>85572620
>those ratty, nasty-ass cuticles
>"well-groomed"
You're like a cross between a nigger and a hog.

>>85572250
>$14.19

>>85572710
Yah dude sure thing, you can totally discern all that from my finger, please feel free to go on

>>85572817
How's it feel to be a 20-something virgin you fucking slob?

>>85572803
Beyond my control man, and it really isn't much money for me.

>>85572845
I am neither of those things but please go on.

>>85572250
Is this a sign that the stars are right and the Old Ones shall soon make their return?

>>85572710
>cuticles
Are you a woman or a faggot?

>>85572956
This is what I expect to happen but I am unsure

>>85572250
Did any characters die?

>going to see this piece of shit not for filming camrip
What's the purpose?

>>85573034
I got a blowjob from the 16 years old girl I took along

>>85572995
All of them died briefly except Gene(the main character) while the kid was resetting his phone but he decided not to last second and they all came back.

>>85572250
>7/27/2017
since when we have 27 months?

>>85573034
Go with friends and enjoy yourself.

>>85573085
American calendar system mate

The Lego Movie™ killer for sure!

>>85572289
>>85572373
>>85572250
Are you a leaf, OP?

>>85573203
If by leaf you mean Canadian/in Canada then no, I am in California, 3D price was $18.

>>85573085
Month/Day/Year.

July 27th, not the 27th of July. It's writing conforming to speech - saying the day first is for formal occasions over here.

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>>85573105

>>85572250
I understand buying two tickets to bypass the singles policy, but how do you get by when they do the random inspections? Does the old "jacket on the seat" trick still work?

is it interactive?

>>85572250
Why?

>>85573378
I understand the attempt at a joke but I went with someone.

>>85573441
Not at all.

>>85572845
>he thinks having girly nails and clean fingers is good
It means he actually does work and works hard unlike you, you limp wristed beta cock gobbler

>>85573519
so its not?

>>85573612
The Emoji Movie is not sadly not interactive

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>>85572250
So hows your sex life?

>>85573659
Oops ignore the first not, brain fart.

>>85573659
>>85573693
thank you

>>85573682
The Emoji Movie has not ruined it but it sadly has not provided me with a new understanding of human sexuality

>>85573770
what would you say in your opinion is your favourite scene?

>>85573815
The one in Instagram-land was really pretty.

Did you laugh much? Or at all?

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>>85572250
Why did you go see it twice?

>>85573909
No, I exhaled on 3 occasions.

>>85572959
>>85573561
>unironically arguing against basic hygiene
what the fuck

>>85574050
>he paid 5 dollars per exhale

>>85574103
This is correct

>>85574063
I first heard the word "cuticle" when I was already 28 years old. And it came from a teenage girl who spent over 100 bucks on her hair every few weeks. It's not anywhere near basic hygiene for a man. Fucking queer.

>>85574234
ugh, straight people are cancer

>>85573378
All of the guards are distracted during the movie getting ready for the hourly rendition of "god bless america" so you just need to avoid capture before the movie starts.

Did they reference da chan even once? Funnyjunk? Something Awful? Even eBaum's World?

>>85574658
No but they referenced 'internet trolls' on multiple occasions

>>85573062
I'd pay for a $15 blowjob 2bh, did she swallow?

>>85574234
>Being proud he doesn't know the names of parts of his body
Why take pride in ignorance?

>>85572250
Can you spoil the entire movie OP so that no one here can see it?

would you recommend spending 2 hours watching it (for free)

alternative is doing something semi-productive or watching another movie

>>85574720
Why are you participating in this conversation about nothing?

>>85574774
Someone's gotta play that slap bass.

>>85572250
I thought rancho had a no-singles-allowed policy

>>85573974
Doesn't answer the one question related to the movie.

Is the movie at least good with the "it's so bad it's good" factor or is it just pure shit?

>>85572250
Is this movie comparable to that fucking shit about food fucking each other Seth Rogen did?

>>85573378
>singles policy
The fuck is that?

>>85575077
Some theaters don't let people come alone.

>>85575093
You murrifats are sick in the head.

>>85575077
same reason as to why shooting ranges have no singles policies

>>85574761
Sure.
>Every app on every phone has all sorts of colourful characters in it
>The messaging app has the city of 'Textopolis' where emojis reside
>Once an emoji is old enough/ready they can work in their own cubicle where they have to make their assigned face when the phone owner selects them
>In this world, each emoji has only one facial expression, except Gene, our main character, who is supposed to be a Meh emoji but has a malfunction that lets him express all the other face emojis.
>Gene screws up his first day on the job due to his malfunction and was going to get deleted.
>he escapes and finds a High-Five emoji who tells him about how his malfunction can be fixed if they go to the piracy app find the emoji known as 'Jailbreak' who can 'hack' the malfunction out of him and make him a Meh emoji
>High Five goes on this journey with him in hopes of getting himself hacked and become one of the user's favorite emojis again
>They leave Textopolis and embark on a journey to the Piracy app, hidden in the Dictionary app, where the Jailbreak emoji, who turns out to be a girl, agrees to help them
>Meanwhile, the head of the cubicle emoji system, a female smile emoji sends out a group of deletion bots after them.
>Gene and the gang play Candy Crush and then Dance Dance Revolution in some blatant product placement,
>It is revealed that hacker emoji is a princess emoji who escaped bc princess stereotypes = harmful to women, High Five emoji gets deleted because the user deleted the Dance Dance Revolution app while they were in it
>Gene's parents go looking for him in the Youtube app where they watch the PPAP meme https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ct6BUPvE2sM, and later reconnect in the Instagram app where it is revealed that his father also has the malfunction but has learned to hide it.
>They go to rescue High Five
>They reach the cloud through Dropbox with some obvious Dropbox advertising where they figure out the password and enter the cloud.

>>85575121
Don't blame me, anon, I don't even know why they do it. Maybe it's like how nightclubs turn you away for fashion reasons. Anything that isn't race/sex/orientation/disability goes, discrimination-wise. I guess.

It's confusing, really, and most theaters don't do this anymore.

>>85573974
w/ a friend
>>85574966
pure shit

>>85573062
so youre either a statutory rapist or underage b&

>>85575302
>What are Romeo and Juliet laws
I'm ready for my watchlist, America-senpai

>>85575219
That hurt to read. Hope it was a good blowy joey

>>85575219
>Gene confesses his love to Jailbreak emoji but she doesn't reciprocate
>He goes home without getting hacked because the rejection made him permanently "Meh"
>He is about to get killed in front of everyone when his parents come in and try to save him
>All this is happening while the kid who owns the phone is about to get his phone reset due to all the issues he's witnessing because of their hijinks
>As all the apps on the phone are getting deleted Gene turns into a super emoji who showcases a ton of emotions in one ever changing gif-emoji that the user sends to his crush
>She likes this emoji and agrees to go to the dance with him
>Kid decides not to reset his phone last second and the apps get restored
>cue montage

>>85575131
>>85575251
Jesus Christ. Feels good that here I can watch kids cartoons alone in cinema and nobody will give a shit. Gonna watch MLP movie this fall.

>>85575051
No that one is better

>>85575433
Someone has to check your ticket and they'll judge you

>>85572250
why?

>>85575219
>>85575402
What the flying fuck

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>>85575219
>>85575402

how many people were in the cinema with you OP? was it full? what sort of people were there?

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>>85575219
>PPAP sung by The Pest

>>85575664
It was nearly empty.
There was a mom and I think her two young kids in the very back
The were some black teenagers who seemed like good sports about it
There was an Asian clearly fresh off the boat family sitting next to us composed of what I'm assuming was all adults.
There was my friend next to me
And then there was a fat nerdy dude in front of me who I assume was watching it ironically

>On December 9, 2016, Miller was arrested and jailed in Los Angeles for allegedly assaulting a driver of the Uber car service company because of an argument he had with the driver over Donald Trump. He was released on his own recognizance after bail was set at $20,000.

Is he ruined?

>>85575782
I wish him the best.

>>85572250
Is it really that bad? I feel like critics and general audiences are bashing it purely because of the retarded subject matter, but seeing the trailers it looks like a very run of the mill disposable animated movie, so still bad but not 9/100 bad.

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FUCK WHITE PEOPLE

FUCK TRUMP

I like you, op

>>85575932
I honestly went into it with the same mindset you have but It's actually awful. The fact that they teach you how to play Candy Crush and DDR and tell you about how Dropbox is secure fucking kills me.

>>85575992
Thanks I like you too

>>85572250
hey, someone else that bites their finger skins!

>>85575755
ahaha
fantastic
>>85576119
i-i do that do

>>85576119
Awful habit and I'm tryna control it but it's pretty common if you actually look at guys' fingers.

>>85576206
>>85576194
is it an ocd or a stress thing for you lads

>>85576250
more ocd i guess

>>85576250
both
I do it a bit because of OCD but it ramps up when im stressed or anxious

Gene asks a clock emoji what time it is
"hey my eyes are up here"

predict how much it makes

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>>85576636
>Gene's mom walks into the phone
>"Now where could that dildo be?"
>Sees a eggplant emoji lying on the table
>"Hmmm, this will do."

haha

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>>85572250
Why?

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>>85572250
Is this worth my money + my time to watch that movie or I should invest them into better stuff?

>>85576886
It is not at all

>3%

>>85573203
He's melbournian

For some reason, all the flag emojis including very clearly Iran and Israel were on the kid's rotation of favorite emojis. I'm not sure why, but the eggplant emoji was put in the "no longer in use" lounge

>>85576927
Even if you are curious to know how bad the movie is?

>>85577103
I'd recommend watching it with a friend(s) if youre curious but otherwise not really worth it

>>85572959
as a faggot, don't lump him in with us. Even we don't care that much, and that's acknowledging that the stereotype about fashion is fairly accurate.

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>>85575219
>who escaped bc princess stereotypes = harmful to women

BRAVO SONY

>>85575302
16 is perfectly legal in most places

>commiefornia fag realizes places other than his shithole exist

>>85572250

Don't get stabbed by a Mexican.

>>85577817
ok deal

>>85575302
Or he's from a country with a lower age of consent, like most of Europe, or the UK.

>>85576886
Just pirate it, don't waste your money on this garbage

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>>85575402
>gene turns into a super emoji

>>85578262
he is literally a single emoji that turns into different types of emojis every second, conveying multiple emotions

>>85575402
>princess stereotypes = harmful to women
>main character gets rejected and never wins her back

Holy shit men can not stop getting BTFO the age of women is here

>>85575402
>She likes this emoji and agrees to go to the dance with him
awwwwwwwwwwwww

>>85575219
>check screenwriters
>all ~50 years old

This reeks of boomers who just heard of jailbreak and discovered gifs trying to write a script desu

>>85578606
Oh no she comes back and he turns super emoji mainly for her

also i want to point out that emojis of color are represented and jailbreak appears to be a more brown skinned princess emoji.

Why didn't you buy a ticket to something else and then just walk into the Emoji Movie?

Do you think the theater would care so long as they got paid?

>>85578821
Probably should have done that but all decisions were made pretty last minute as the movie wasn't even supposed to come out til the 28th I thought but we saw it playing at our nearby theater

>>85577817
>Mfw I'm Mexican
More like don't stab me gringo

gene doesnt even kiss

when the highfive emoji bumped into the coffee mug
and he said
"sorry tea"
and then they said "im not tea im coffee"
hilarious joke
also his parents are always talking in their shitty monotone voice throughout the entire thing

>>85572865
Wow I'm actually really sorry

>>85579580
its cool man i won't stab you we can be friends

>>85579643
It's okay, I'm lucky enough to be able to afford stupid shit like this

njfag here

16 is the age of consent in the great garden state, feelsgoodman

>>85580121
not like you'll ever benefit from it

>>85575402
>>85575219
can someone make a shorter summary like 2 or 3 lines

Autism

>>85580229
Hidden within the messaging app is Textopolis, a bustling city where all your favorite emojis live, hoping to be selected by the phone's user. In this world, each emoji has only one facial expression - except for Gene, an exuberant emoji who was born without a filter and is bursting with multiple expressions. Determined to become "normal" like the other emojis, Gene enlists the help of his handy best friend Hi-5 and the notorious code breaker emoji Jailbreak. Together, they embark on an epic "app-venture" through the apps on the phone, each its own wild and fun world, to find the Code that will fix Gene. But when a greater danger threatens the phone, the fate of all emojis depends on these three unlikely friends who must save their world before it's deleted forever

bump. I think there's a lot more discussion to be had on this

>>85581110
It's over.
Go home to your wife.
Make love to her.
Tell her you love her.

>>85572289
Americans pay extra for metal detectors + the usher tip is included

>>85578159
Considering how the ticket's date is in the American calendar system I'm guessing not

>>85575985
He has to be like 15 layers deep in satire, right? He can't be serious, right?

>>85572250
How did you lose your virginity?

>>85580318
So basically it's Wreck it Ralph with the "be yourself" message?

>>85572250
Is the love interest cute?

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>>85582492
no

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>>85583146
>shadman

>>85572250
Hey fellow skin picker

>>85575219
Holy shit the implications of this world are scary, you could at any instant be deleted forever cause your user needs space for a new app and a job consists of making a face all day long.

>>85581721
We still have to tip the towel boy in the showers though at my theater.

>>85583146
>>85583694
I don't know how the fuck he does it but the instant I open one of his pictures even I'd it doesn't obviously look like one of his you can still tell he drew it.

>>85582485
yup and a lot worse

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>>85583146

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>>85582492
Yes or no it doesn't matter at least we can have porn of this.

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>>85584054

>>85583840
And Falcon Food is $8.50 per morsel.

>>85583146
Fucking Shadman

>>85585166
Who?

>>85583945
It's probably because of the shading and filter that he puts over it

>>85583945
Same with every artist

>>85572250
What type of people were in the theater? Was it full?

>>85574769
I know that rotten tomatoes shouldn't be taken as a good source but there are like 4-5 90% and above rated films on there currently, just watch one of those

>>85580229
Like wreck it Ralph and the Lego movie had a retard baby with a cuck-feminist agenda where the main character gets 'JUST' by the non gender conforming female lead.