What are your thoughts on Moana (2016)?

WHAT CAN I SAY EXCEPT
it was pretty good

WHY THE FUCK IS THERE NO GOOD PORN OF MOANA?!!??!!?!?!?

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>>85259015
Pretty good. Flawed characters, great music and gorgeous visuals

>>85259015
Looked nice and there were a few good songs but Maui was underused and the plot made no sense

>>85259015
I liked it. For some reason it felt more like the Disney classics from the nineties, than any other recent movie they've made.

>>85259144
Was the plot seriously too complicated for you?

>>85259121
>great music and gorgeous visuals

Anyone who expects anything more than this from Disney is deluded.

Tired of fantasy movies that make us feel good about nature while we are simultaneously destroying it with our everyday actions. I would say that pretty soon the only nature most people will experience is on a screen, but this is likely already true.

better than frozen

>>85259234
Yes
i had no idea what was going on half of the time

moana is cute!

CUTE!

>>85259234
>Maui caused the whole thing but nobody cares
>The ocean could have taken the rock back itself

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What can I say except I'd fuck the delicious brown girl, but she'd probably split my skull and eat my entrails as is islander tradition.

>>85259015
it was an alrite, litty summer flick

>>85259234
the ending gave me blue balls i wanted to see the evil monster die

Can someone explain Maui to me?
He was a human but mommy and daddy didn't love him so to get their attention he created the entire world? What were people doing before he 'lassoed the sun' and 'pulled islands from the sea'
Was he just lying about all that shit? In the movie all he does is change into a bird

what is the deal with disney and little girl feets?

>>85259501
Innocence and nature

>>85259424
He was born human but was so ugly his parents threw him into the ocean. He was saved by the gods and was given the fishhook and god like powers, hence him being a demigod. He did do all the stuff like pulling islands from the sea because they are illustrated in his tattoos. Each time he does something important or good a tattoo appears. Despite being nothing to the humans he desperately wanted their love, going even as far as stealing the heart to give to them, which starts the events of the movie.

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The Rock cant sing
And
Zootopia was ten times better

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I want to ______ Moana

>>85259121

yah the characters sucked balls but it was pretty and good music, you are right.

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>>85259649
worship the feet of

>>85259671
That feeling when like 99% of /tv/ is actually footfags

>>85259579
Yeah but where did his parents come from. Maui said he created/gave to humans the sun, the sea, the sky, fire, the wind, islands, the ground, grass and coconuts.
And why does he do nothing but turn into a bird in the movie.

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>>85259725
He could barely use his hook, and his powers accordingly because he hadn't used it for 1000 years. Wasn't until the end of the movie when he started believing in himself again and could use it to its potential

>>85259822
>>85259725
>use it to its potential
>turns into a bird again

Anyway I did some googling, in real mythology Maui did all that shit because he was a legit God. Disney decided to make him a demigod with a tragic backstory for some reason.

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Moana and her voice actress are incredibly cute.

I wanna be shiny.

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>>85259877
>Sixteen

Crab was the best character.

>>85259955
Damn, and people say there aren't fish hormones in the water?

>>85259955
daym

>>85259955
What's she doing at the world trade center?

>>85259015
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYsaUMc8jaM
beyond mediocre

Where are her ankles. Why is she so thicc.

she forgave him pretty quick for leaving her to die in a cave

>they have to go through Te Ka on boat to get to their destination
>couldnt just use the oceans help to go underneath her

fucking stupid.
and I believe the ocean did it twice to moana where it shot her like a torpedo underwater. why couldnt the ocean do that again?

She's very, very attractive.

>>85260179
Yeah, well she probably thought she'd cut the dude who basically created her way of life and her home some slack.

>>85259710
>being part of the 1%

Feels patrician desu.

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>>85260179
She seemed kind of pissed

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>>85259109
>The only well drawn porn of her is her getting fucked by Maui
>Absolutely nothing with her getting colonized

>>85259238
shut the fuck up

>>85261602
t. micah mausberg

>>85259015
I want to fuck the bunny.

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>>85261530

>>85259955
legal in michigan :)

>>85259634
>>85262925

Furries need to be purged

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>bored and decide to look up more about Maui
>One of the first things on his Wikipedia is
>His last, fatal trick was on the Goddess Hine-nui-te-pō. In attempting to make mankind immortal by changing into a worm, entering her vagina and leaving by her mouth while she slept, she crushed him with the obsidian teeth in her vagina.

What a way to go.

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>>85259015
I love Moana

>>85259649
dry

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Between the overt displays of feet and armpits this movie really draws in the fetishists.

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>>85264575
And how!

>>85259015
I liked everything about it except the gay jewish crab and his showtune.

>>85259955
Arouses a mean mini Maui

>>85264861
Seemed like they were either referring something or they let that guy improv alot his lines because that song wasn't all that great.

>>85264861
>>85264973
It was a tribute to David Bowie

>>85264861
>>85264973
That was Jermaine

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Disappointed that they didn't sing the Tiki Room song.

>>85265074
>>85265088
I don't care. It was still way too jewish, and very, very gay.

>>85264861
It wasn't a jew, it was a white kiwi.

>>85259015
Disney is racist. But racist in a creative way. They know their white princesses are their golden goose. The real money makers, but they can't appear to be racists by making only white princess movies, so they make Mulan, Pocahontas, Moana.. and they don't do so well. They are not flops, because it's Disney and they know how to make money, but they are not very good.

What are a few songs from Moana that are catchy? You're Welcome, How Far I'll Go, and We Know the Way. Compare any of those to "Let it Go".

Moana was made to fail, so Disney can go back to making White Princesses and do so feeling justified because, hey at least they tried.

And I actually liked the movie.

>>85265168
He was a hoarder of wealth, and therefore a jew.

>>85259015
it really begged for an uncut rated X version.

cgi softcore porn when?

>>85259238
>>85261602
There are hits and misses but more thought goes into the average feature Disney cartoon then most AAA films.

>>85259874

Characters have to go through arcs in Disney movies.

>>85265123
haha holy shit I really forgot all about that and you are dead on right about this. Could have at least made it a remix and they literally had a tiki room in the movie already.

>>85265194
Disney is very, very jewish now. Walt Disney was not a jew, and didn't care much for the jew. The jews have always hated him, and that's why they bought his properties after he died, so they could profit off of everything he built, pervert it, then destroy it.

>>85259248
>I would say that pretty soon the only nature most people will experience is on a screen, but this is likely already true.


Whoa. Really makes you think

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>>85265194
Those songs you listed are all better than Let it Go. In fact, pretty much every song in the movie is better than anything in Frozen. The 'I am Moana' sequence is legitimate kino

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Here. Have a real Hawaiian... um... "Maiden".

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>>85259109
>WHY THE FUCK IS THERE NO GOOD PORN OF MOANA?!!??!!?!?!?
for some reason she just didn't click with alot of artists, unlike frozen there's a shit ton of porn of them, lots of futanari

>>85265420
>Those songs you listed are all better than Let it Go
To you they are, but you are not their audience. I remember hearing Let it Go about 1000x. With the kids, Frozen was much more popular.
>Frozen - 1.276 billion USD
>Moana - 642.8 million USD

>>85259015
6/10 the girl was a annoying cunt

>>85265607

Would smash.

>>85259649
colonize

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>>85259109
Sadly the best I've seen.

Annoying.

>>85264861
>movie teaches children that gay jews are obnoxious villains

im ok with this

I just wish the film was more of a journey of Maui meeting with old friends and facing off with old rivals along the way to the island goddess. Them going through the portal to the snail guy was almost like a tease, because that felt like the only truly imaginative take on pacific islander mythology.

WE WUZ VOYAGERS N SHEIT

>>85265607
would colonize desu

>>85265930
but they were, how else did they get on all those islands before the whiteboyes did?

>>85265607
>Implying you wouldn't fuck that

>>85266090
I know. I just had to think of this meme when she yelled about voyagers in the film.

decent enough while you're watching but completely forgettable

>>85266090
>>85265930
By having a completely different set of genes from Africans.

I didn't like it that much. It was decent but ultimately I didn't actually feel like the movie needed to exist. And the second main character, that big muscly guy, felt like he was completely useless and unnecessary in the end.

>>85265930
she's not black tho

>>85265607
damn son

>>85266659
>Completely useless and unnecessary
Maui saved Moana from death a couple times and taught her how to sail and navigate

>>85259015
How's her foot game?

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>>85266858
>He's a footfag

>>85266817
Teaching Moana how to sale is a role that could have been filled by just about anybody else if the story changed just as little. A fisherman could have taught her. Her grandmother could have taught her using some mystical telepathic reasons if the story wanted too. And did Maui really save Moana all that often? Too be honest it never really felt like he was there when Moana was actually in grave danger. During her escaping the lava monster and her getting back the stone from those small pirate creatures, and her escaping from the big ol'crab with the gold Maui just didn't really help.

>>85259147
That's because John Musker and Ron Clements
who did Little Mermaid, Aladdin, and Hercules directed instead of the relatively new people who did Frozen and Tangled.

>>85266921
>Saved her when she was about to be eaten by Tamatoa
>Saved her when she sailed straight into Te Ka's reach because of her overconfidence
>Saved her once again in this scene
>>85259822
And she was practically begging Maui to help her when the little pirates attacked, only once he steered the raft around for her was she able to grab the heart

So will this end up in Kingdom Hearts?

>>85263778
>when she sees your dick.

>>85259649
have sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation with

>>85267122
All of which would have been completely unnecessary if the ocean simply found a way to tell Moana that she needs to place the stone in the lava creature's heart. Then all Moana would have needed to do was sail to it, put it in, and the story would have ended. And the lava creature DID let her put it in. And before you ask how the ocean could have relayed this information to her it's pretty damn easy. Hell, Moana found out her people was travelers through a vision. Something similar could have told her what she actually needed to do. In the end Maui did very little of importance and his 'powers' were underutilized making me wonder why they bothered giving him powers at all.

>>85266545
Not implying anything of the kind. What I was implying was that she was a little old to be called a "maiden", since ancient/traditional Hawaiians are known to have been sexually active from their early childhood on to old age.

>>85266921
>how to sale
What? Was she a merchant? Or a prostitute?

>>85259015
too much "singing the plot" songs
Only good ones were Shiny and You're Welcome

>>85267353
In other words... Moana was most likely... not... a virgin.

>>85267431
You know what I meant. Spelling and grammatical errors aside anybody could have taught her how to sail.

>>85267556
Oh, good. Because I must imagine being a prostitute in ancient/traditional Hawaii would be a pretty poor business, considering >>85267353

>>85259015
the songs were fucking terrible which is hugely disappointing considering it's Lin Manuel-Miranda.

>>85267474
The only songs that mentions 'plot' are Shiny and We Know the Way

>>85259015
very forgettable 2bh

>>85267620
Bullshit

>>85267620
Most of them were generic, but I liked "You're Welcome".

>>85267649
I'm a big musical theater fan and own Miranda's Hamilton hardback. Moana has a terrible score.

the scene of her walking towards teka is so beautiful. liek this if u cry evrytime

>>85267700
It easily has the best score in a Disney film since the renaissance era you pleb

>>85259877
Her voice actress is fucking ugly. Looks like your typical sheboon but with lighter skin.

Many weebs were pissed off that this got nominated for an Oscar over Your Name

>>85267780
>better than Menken's Rapunzel
>better than Menken & Schwartz's Enchanted
and yes, Frozen is better. only a fool would say otherwise.

>>85259649
I wanna make moana moan ugh

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>>85267810
>Ugly
Are you insane?

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>>85267810
Well here's a REAL Hawaiian princess... an historical member of the Hawaiian Royal Family

"OH-WA-TOH-CHOKO-SOLO?"

>>85267944
Are you? She's fucking ugly.

>>85267986
Hawaiians just aren't beautiful people.

>>85267615
I don't think prostitute was a thing. Most of the Polynesian tribes believed in free love until the British brought STDs with them.

>>85267986
...HO-HO-HO

It was ok

>>85268014
>Dude all women that aren't white are ugly by default
What the fuck is wrong with you /pol/tards?

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>>85267986

>>85268014
Actually, that is a picture of her when she was old, and after some botched surgery on her nose (after one of her husbands broke it in one of their many fights). She is said to have been a very beautiful girl in her youth.

I wanna make her Moan ah

>>85268075
No on said that, you're delusional.

>>85265607
>Implying you wouldn't, especially after months at sea

>>85265607
Wait a second that a nipple. I sure hope she's of legal age.

>>85260607
dat hair physics tho, well done disney

Jeremy stole the entire movie in the 7 minutes he was in it.

>>85268971
Who the fuck is Jeremy

>>85265372
I doubt it's something you're capable of thinking or caring about.

>>85268867
The fuck is wrong with you? It's an historical photo, you queer.

>>85259015
It was pretty decent.
The beginning feels rushed though.
>all those characters that are introduced that don't amount to anything (what's the point of the pig sidekick?)
>trying to leave the island, failing, then building up the courage to leave the island again in the span of a couple of minutes
>3 songs pretty much back to back
It gets a lot better once she actually leaves the island.

>>85268734
see
>>85267353
and
>>85267538

>>85259015
>What are your thoughts on Moana (2016)?
Forgettable. Only part I kinda liked was the rock's song. Everything else felt insincere.

>>85269070
Did you know, anon, that per-capita the more primitive a society is, the more destructive it is to nature? We're more echo-friendly than we've ever been, and that's only going to continue to improve unless we get a proper nuclear armageddon or something.

In most 1st world nations you have to pay people to destroy nature so it doesn't overgrow the suburbs, not the other way around. Of course, in shity third-world nations they fucking shit up big time. You're free to go there to tell them to stop trying to better their lives though, and that instead they should just let you live in luxury while they suffer in squalor and be okay with that.

Alternatively, you can do everyone a favour and kill yourself. I win; you win; the 3rd worlders win. Win-win-win. It really seems like the ideal solution.

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>>85267538
>Not a virgin
Fuck off she's pure

>>85270086
Why is this a post in a discussion thread on a family movie