>Guy takes me out on a date >Suck his dick in the back

I'll take shit that never happened for 500 mike

>>85228763
>tumblr

dumb frogposter

Stole a nice metal trash can for my apatment

and then you went home and kissed your father goodnight? you fukn slore

>>85228763
I peed on another guy's falcon. I had to go, but I didn't want to miss part of the movie or piss on the floor, so the falcon had to take the heat. Their plumage absorbs liquids surprisingly well.

finger blasted a 14 year old

>>85228763
based false flagging teenbro

Some may think it's degenerate, but I specifically buy an extra tub of popcorn just in case I finish my first one and don't have any popcorn left to dump on the ground.

>>85229321
This. Except instead of dumping popcorn I dump my saved feces from the previous decade

>>85229298
Are you me?

>>85229254
Pretty much this but it was Baywatch, so no one said anything

>>85229388
Was it litty

>>85229123
How did you get out with it? You just carried the fucking thing out the lobby?

>>85229387
Only if you're past the old enough to know better age when you did it and now regret it 2bh

>>85228763
I once went to a movie alone.

>>85229406
No the exit by the movie screen and my friend pulled the car around

>>85228763
>working on the popcorn mines for smuggling Pringles in my anus
>my pickaxe breaks
>take pickaxe from the corpse nearby, as usual
>it has Tarantino autograph
>jackpot.jpg
>I hide it in the corpse
>after making my time I smuggle it home hiding pickax my anus
so now I have it as a cool decoration on my wall

File: images[1].jpg (5KB, 200x200px) Image search: [Google]

5KB, 200x200px

>go to see The Force Awakens with friend from Uni
>the guy who checks tickets says "enjoy the movie"
>I didn't enjoy the movie

>>85229850
what flavor of Pringles were they?
this is extremely important

>>85228763
>>>/lgbt/ tranny

>>85228763
Did you say You're welcome?

>>85228763
take creeper pics of hs girl in tiny short waiting to get their tickets.
also the hottie ticket takers (amc 30 in the hood uses hs girls).
post em on /b/
also sneak in the tiny airline liquor bottles

>>85230284
sour cream and onions

Finger blasted a chick in Scary Movie 3

Got a blowjob at a drive in while watching (or not) Grudge 2

>>85229617
Mom is that you? Whats for dinner?

>>85230410
nice reddit spacing bertha

>>85228763
Are you a girl, OP? If so could you suck my dick too? I'm so horny :(

>>85230110
Hahahahahahahahahahaa

>>85228763
Most I've done is tongue kiss a bit, and rub pussy outside of her tight leggings.

>>85230379
Who is this? Lawrence sonntag

>>85229146
fuck you, morgan!

>>85230439
nice Reddit reply my dude

Banged a 16 year old when I was 24, for like 3 months.

>>85230487
All i did was hold hands and french kiss a bit
>i hate going to the movies with my uncle

>>85230439
lmao suck my dick faggot

I went to the last showing of Rio and fapped in the back of the theater where nobody could see me

>>85230560
Damn, didn't you have to go to work?

I've done the same except that I am a heterosexual man who was going through a dark period at the time.

>>85230395
So you were in the Pringles mine version of Galveston, Texas (garbage)

>>85230379
>sneak in the tiny airline liquor bottles
I just make my falkon eat berries and drink vodka before movie, later I just make baby bird noises and he vomits prime cocktail in my mouth

File: 1499016274143.jpg (47KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

47KB, 1280x720px

>Take girl to see Frozen
>Hand in her pants the ENTIRE time
>mfw two children and mom next to us
>Take her back to her apartment
>Fuck her senseless
>Never talk to her again

Some sperg shat into a bag while watching Star Wars TFA because he didnt want to miss anything.

We all walked out and got our money back, the sperg tried to beat up the security when they dragged him out.

I went to see Love Everything or something like that and I was feeling up her arches and after the movie that progressed to me removing her shoes and sucking her soles.

>>85230655
Naw, lived off of savings for three months before I joined the Navy, and she freeloaded because she came from a broken household and had nowhere else to go but a shelter. Her mom was like schizophrenic and kicked her out all the time for no reason.

It was worth it, she was hot.

>>85230728
>now pootang I can get into

i lost my virginity during the Disney animated feature "Frozen"

>>85230728
>Hand in her pants the ENTIRE time

Your fingers probably still smell like tuna.

I was with my two friends on some shitty, boring movie in a little local cinema because we ran from the school and we didn't know what to do. It was midday so most of the people were at school or in work. We were literally the only ones at the screening. There is a point in the middle of the screening when some cinema worker comes in and checks if everything is ok but most importantly if anyone records the sceen. After that it's just you and a movie. I needed to pee. Really bad. Being a stupid 14 year old teenager I decided it would be cool to pee on the floor. So I unzipped and peed while sitting on the chair. But the most retarded thing was to encourage my friend to do so as well. So when he needed to go, he just stand up and peed on the chair next to him. After couple minutes we lef because movie was boring as fuck and we were afraid to stay there any longer.

File: 426ED3DF00000578-0-image-a-27_1500336043685.jpg (89KB, 634x948px) Image search: [Google]

89KB, 634x948px

I went to see Chicken Little when it was in theaters long time ago. The theater was completely empty so I pissed on the floor for fun. We were pretty astonished about having a theater all to ourselves.

As an adult I go see every Kevin Smith movie I can in theaters. Nobody else is ever watching his movies so I get to drink from a big flask freely. Last time was with Tusk. I walked to the other end of my row and pissed on the seat. I watched the movie while laying down in 3 or so seats like they were a couch. It was comfy.

File: 20-wacky-fathers-day-gift-ideas-your-dad-will-love-16.jpg (45KB, 800x449px) Image search: [Google]

45KB, 800x449px

>>85231153
how big of a flask are we talking here?

as someone that works in the theaters you guys fucking piss me off. what the fuck is wrong with you people?

>>85231304
What the fuck is wrong with you faggot

>>85231304
except for pissing everything in this thread is pretty normal, horny couples is the main demographic famalam

Fingerbanged a 15 year old and got a blowjob from her

>>85231470
How old were you at the time

>>85230807
I hope you're making that up, if not then I truly have lost faith in our generation

>>85231559
17, long time ago now

>>85231039

They did for 2 days, I made my boss at the time smell them

File: 1425788191863.jpg (31KB, 413x395px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 413x395px

I peed my pants, rather than bothering other people by getting up during the movie.
Still find the image of my pee getting on people's shoes and clothes hilarious.

>>85228809
fpbp

>>85231634
What's her name so I can avoid her

what the fuck is with all the pissing in this thread why the fuck are you lunatics pissing in your local theaters so much

File: toot.webm (772KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

772KB, 1280x720px

After watching TFA at my local kinotheque, I had my gf force feed me her shit when we got home. She roleplayed as Rey of course.

This is now my kino fetish.

>>85231710
kek, Catherine, she'd be in her 30s now

File: 740full-natalie-alyn-lind.png (794KB, 740x924px) Image search: [Google]

794KB, 740x924px

>>85231268
It's not actually big. It's 8oz.

>>85231862
10-4. Putting Catherine on my growing list of women's names to avoid due to reading a gross 4chan post about them

Cant be too safe

>>85232098
>due to reading a gross 4chan post about them
Fair enough, but what exactly was gross about it?

>>85232149
Sexualization at 15

Lost my virginity to a 14 year old


I was 17

File: 445623_lg_event_main.jpg (44KB, 400x571px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 400x571px

>first time going to movies with my then gf
>watching pic related
>we get bored really fast
>put my hand down her pants
>'wasn't the pussy supposed to be here?'
>'a bit lower' she says
>learned that day pussies are located way lower than the penis
>we full around the entire movie
>after he mpvie ends, a couple look strangely at us
>still don't know what the movie is about

>>85232247
Is it better or worse that she was wearing her school uniform at the time?

>>85231046
People are such degenerates at the cinema. I sincerely feel bad for the people that work there.

chicken

>>85230807
fucking made me lol

>>85232452
Far worse

>>85228763
did it make him moan-a?

>>85230487
>Leggings
Disgusting

File: IMG_5632.jpg (237KB, 1280x872px) Image search: [Google]

237KB, 1280x872px

>>85228763
Like most things in life this didn't happen to me but I knew the girl personally

>femanon
>young crazy and naive decides to experiment
>goes on a date with a lesbian
>we decide to go to a movie theater
> dates going all and she's being also really flirty with me
> really dig the attention
> buy medium size popcorn
> go to theater and seat in the very last row
> being summer in a small town meant the place was almost empty
> only a couple of nerds and losers could be seen but they were invested too much in the movie to notice anything around them
> my date decides to get frisky starts gentle touching my neck and later kissing it
> trying to keep quiet and not melt, I act all uninterested
> date doesn't care she caressing my neck aka my weak spot
> after a couple of seconds of gentle and tender touches I give in
> start making out with her
> a loud noise is heard from the movie scene
> realize wtf am I doing and back her off
> everything has calmed down
> but apparently my date wasn't satisfied
> slowly yet firmly she places her hand on my stomach and slides it downward
> I wanted to stop her but the idea of fucking in a public place turned me on so much that I went against my will and let her finger me
> try to contain my moaning
> let out a few light moans yet nobody hears
> she's being a little to aggressive but I'm afraid if I open my mouth I'll let out a loud moan decide to play it safe and along with it
> can't even think straight when suddenly she stops
> she finishes takes her hand out of my pants
> she's licks her fingers
> I sit there, calming myself down
> the movie finishes she kisses me goodbye and I leave

Apparently they had a second date and fucked but the girl did not go in details about the specifics of how it occurred or what happened in the act. She said that she wasn't a lesbian and was embarrassed and ashamed of what happened

We later dated but because I'm a faggot I didn't even do half of those things,

>>85233433
i'm going to die in a few minutes but I just wanted to let you know you're a massive faggot anon

Shagged me mum with an aubergine during Fifty Shades.

>>85233569
Thank you for telling me something I already know

>>85233569

Why are you going to die? Don't dew yourself in just yet bro.