TIMES YOU WENT OVERBOARD

hey

I always piss all over the toilet seats when I go to the movies

how do you americans even finish the popcorn in the hour and a half that the movie lasts

>>85226136
Is popcorn even halal in Eurabia?

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>underage sex scene comes up
>quip "MMMMMMMMMM.... damn MMMM MMMMMM MMMHMMMM!" in the crowded theater
IM A FIRESTARTER TWISTED FIRE STARTER

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>>85226136
>mfw returned from the popcorn mines with 5 gallon bucket of rare garlic butter kernels
>mfw finish bucket before trailers end

>Buy a used car from a coworker
>I thank the guy, sit down, look behind me
>I grin, barely containing my laughter
>All the way home, I feel madness invade my mind little by little
> This is freedom, this is anarchy, I am a demon
>Arrive home, get out and look at my new car
>An uncontrollable maniacal laughter is heard in my whole neighborhood
The "Baby Aboard" sticker is still there. AND I DON'T HAVE KIDS
H E L P

>>85226171
Nope, but I heard they recently passed a federal law over in JEW.S.A commanding that all your popcorn must be kosher

>you wouldnt download a car
>download a car picture off google

WAKE ME UP

>play an old VHS tape
>FF the ads without pushing stop first

I'M NUCLEAR I'M WILD

>not getting a refill before the movie starts

Come on, brother step it up.

>>85226394
a swing and a miss

>>85227145
>being so american you can only interpret jokes with baseball

>>85227300
>being so european you don't realize baseball is japan's biggest obsession

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>>85226030
>have two people sitting beside me in the thea'tor
>use BOTH (2) ARMRESTS

SOMEONE CALL THE KINO POLICE

>mummy always tells me to slow down or the popcorn will be all gone before the movie starts

ILL DO WHAT I WANT IM 25

>>85226136
do you eat one popcorn at a time or something

>>85227145
Yes goy, forget about the jews

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>arrive at theater early
>raise all the armrests in my row to the vertical position
>fully recline seats

FUG THA POLICE

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>in stall taking a giant shit
>wipe thoroughly in a 1234.... 1234... 1234.... 1234 pattern
>before exiting the stall knock on the door in a 1234... 1234... 1234.... 1234 pattern
>forget to flush

>spend $20 on the extra large popcorn
>get sick a fifth of the way through the bag

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I throw away my ticket stub as soon as I get in.

>put my feet on the seat in front

FUCK YOU I WONT DO WHAT YOU TELL ME

>>85226030
Drank all the coke during the trailers, spent entire movie holding my piss and couldn't pay attention to the movie

Snuck a bag of m&ms up my ass so the penis inspector wouldn't find contraband on me.

>>85228353
Most importantly, what flavor of the M&Ms?

>Find toilet seat down
>Make tinkles
>Leave toilet seat up

>decide to save my ice cream to enjoy after i see a kino moment
>movie has no kino moments
>ice cream melts