>episode begins in pitch darkness
>you can hear young sheldon's heavy breathing
>heavy footsteps can also be heard somewhere nearby, as if someone is moving from room to room
>after a dramatic moment of silence, the blackness is suddenly pierced by a blinding wash of light
>a grimacing, sweaty face comes into view (played by an aged Jim Parsons)
>"TRYING TO HIDE FROM YOUR FATHER, ARE YOU? COME HERE YOU DISRESPECTFUL WORM"
>"FUCK THIS"
>a fist shoots from out of view and knocks young sheldon on his back
>a groggy sequence commences depicting the young boy being dragged throughout the derelict house
>when sheldon comes-to, he's back in his basement cage
>tonight, there is no bowl of the usual slop waiting for him, he'll just have to go to bed hungry again
>at least he still has Mr. Monkey, his favourite toy and only friend
>he pulls the string on Mr. Monkey's back and the action figure croaks out its familiar catch-phrase:
>Bazinga
>>85186409
Wow this was bad
>>85186409
That would be a fucking helluva cold open, desu.