That's it boys, pack it up, Dunkirk is /shit/

>"Second, and more important, Nolan employs non-linear filmmaking, avoiding the better approach—which would be chronological."
>"Third, there is no humor whatever. Blink and you’ll discover maybe three women in the entire picture, one of them serving white bread and jam to the soldiers and one dishing out the cuppas."
>"Fourth, there is no real story here, just men surviving or not under fire from torpedoes, bombs, and guns from the enemy whose faces we do not see at all"

These are literally all positives to any but the nü-est male

>>85107094
>Third, there is no humor whatever. Blink and you’ll discover maybe three women in the entire picture, one of them serving white bread and jam to the soldiers and one dishing out the cuppas

The worst kind of pleb critic.
Where's /ourguy/ Armond trashing this flick with completely sound well written arguments?

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>>85107094
>"there is no humor whatsoever"

WELL ITS FUCKING WORLD WAR 2, EXCUSE ME IF IT ISNT ANOTHER JOLLY MARVEL PICTURE YOU ABSOLUTE FAGGOT

>>85107014
>bunch of brits sitting in some boats praying to any god that will listen that the RAF doesn't let the Jerries shoot them like literal fishes in barrels
>expecting thrills

IT'S CALLED FUCKING SUSPENSE AND DREAD YOU SHIT

>>85107094

No other negative review has ever made a film sound so great

>>85107014
>people didn't cheer at the end of a war film
>IT SUCKS!
Americans

>>85107014
>the one negative review is so stupid it's worse than a /tv/ shitpost
Wew lad, Dunkirk must be incredibly good.

Every Nolan film is shit

>>85107094
I am more excited than I was before. These are all positives.

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>>85107094
>war movie is a humorless character drama
>bad thing

>>85107014
>compuserve

Holy fuck what year is it? I wanna hear what the guy from Prodigy and the guy from America Online have to say.

Why would he want more women in a war movie

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>>85107094

>No women
>No niggers
>No quips

FILM OF THE FUCKING DECADE, LADS.

>one of the criticisms is 'no humor'
People like that should even be critics. Part of the reason why RT is a complete fucking joke nowadays.

>>85107094
Here we have a prime example of the kind of mental spastic r/flicks goon that worships the trash Nolan, Villeneuve and Fincher make.

I cannot be more clear about this: you are an enemy of the medium. You are actively destroying Cinema. True Cinema isn't some good-times & sunshine hugbox, it is a punch in the gut, a gob of spit aimed at your face, a black man fucking your wife.

True Cinema is pain. It tears apart your soul and leaves you to pick up the pieces and patch it back together with bleeding fingers.

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> Compuserve

>>85107533
I quite enjoy Batman Begins, The Dark Knight Rises, and Interstellar

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>>85107094
All of that sounds really good, what the fuck.
Kill this cuck.

NOOO!! Not the one and only Harvey S. Karten!! We all know him so well and have heard of him before!! So this movie IS shit now... Damn well always trust the Harveyman to know what's good and what isn't.

>>85107014

>demands linear storytelling
>literally complains that people wont clap enough

normie fucking shit reviewer

>>85107094
Wow, this faggot just outlined all the reasons it will be watchable as negatives.

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>>85107094

holy shit. nolankino fucking CONFIRMED

>>85107679
To virtue signal to his twitter followers about what an enlightened, sensitive new age guy he is

>>85107939

desu I actually think it's a great review. Reviews shouldn't be about whether the critic agrees with you or not. It's about letting you know what the film is like and whether or not you would want to check it out, and knowing who the critic is as a person and how they react to it can help that decision. Everything about the review lets me know that the film is absolute kino that numales will never understand. It's very helpful.

>compuserve

lmao what

>>85108044
Not a bad point, I should follow this reviewer and avoid everything he likes and recommends to ensure I only see quality films.

>>85107094
>there is no real story here
What did he mean by this?

>>85107094
>any of those points
>negative

This faggot should just stick to capeshit, Jesus Christ.

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Why the fuck is this a RT certified reviewer?

>>85108044
You've got a point there.

>>85108205
Because RT is a fucking joke

Don't trust reviewers

Watch a movie, judge for yourself

Is he the 3rd pillar in the /tv/core three?

richard brody
armond white
this guy

>>85108374
you are forgetting me

I feel like some reviewers will intentionally get a movie a bad review just to get loads of website clicks from people who want to see why the movie every other critic loves is bad.

>>85107094
wow this movie sound incredible. if anything three women is too much. it should be 0

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>>85107014
>Dunkirk
Repel those invading Nazis!

>>85107094
>the only women in a war movie are performing tasks that a woman would be performing at the time
Critics were a mistake

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>>85108465
For England!

>>85108465
Not a single solitary woman or child in that sea of shit skins.

Why would anyone embrace bringing this burden into their country?

>>85107094
DUNKINO CONFIRMED BROS

>>85108465
i want a big rig

I hate Nolan's movies, but this seems interesting enough

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>>85108535
>DUNKINO

>>85107094
>Blink and you’ll discover maybe three women in the entire picture, one of them serving white bread and jam to the soldiers and one dishing out the cuppas.

So what? How many women soldiers were fighting at Dunkirk? I hate fucks like this who would be fine with altering history for their own twisted worldviews.

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>>85108374
No.

>>85108571
>reddit unironically triggered by the word kino

Never gets old

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Pffft, more like DUMBkirk

>>85108571
>I-if I call things r-Reddit will I fit in????)2?1-

>>85108703
>kinoxD
It's the perfect confluence of stereotypical nerdy plebshit, it's the average /v/ poster, relatively new to the site, who goes to all the big boards on the site and shits them all up equally with his narrow knowledge and experience with various artistic mediums. He knows mainstream video games, he knows mainstream anime, he knows mainstream cartoons (especially those from the 90s and early 00s), and he knows only the biggest comic book characters. And he feels marginalized by society because of how much of a shut in he is, so he'll have the most shallow /pol/ opinions and tastes. He'll prattle on endlessly about cucks and interracial porn, but he isn't informed or even cares about international political issues and happenings. It's just a slight veneer of racism and misogyny and the rejection of anything that could be considered "degenerate."

And the cross poster signals all of this to his other cross posters with the word "kino." It's like those hobo chalk signs. You slap it on a thread so other cross posters know it's safe to come out of the woodwork.

>>85108558
It's hard to hate Nolan's movies. They are entertaining enough, if lacking any real characters. He is obviously married to the stories and concepts he directs, moreso than the characters that inhabit it.

That being said; the guy can't direct action for shit and should stay as far away from it as possible.

>>85107094
>nolan making a film women can't understand
never thought i'd see the day

>>85107331
MARVEL IS THE GOLD STANDARD FOR MOVIES

EVERY MOVIE SHOULD BE LIKE MARVEL

>>85108465
>>85108509
N-NO! NOOOOOO!
MY WORLDVIEW... It shatters... it melts like snow in the Sun!
Could it be... that the far right were the good guys all along???
I need a moment, I feel like in the Matrix, like I just realized I live in a world of lies... a world (((THEY))) built around me to hide the truth...
But it's as if I took like... a pill, that makes me see things clearly...

Thank you, brave knight, for saving me from the darkness of (((their))) lies, you have made it apparent at last! WE SHALL BE FREE FROM THE CHAINS! FREE TO BE WHITE!

When the genocide comes, I'll be ready, armed! And it's all thanks to you, to the harsh reality that you showed me in your post, that you so bravely don't hide like the left does, yes! I will fight! I have found new honor and strength!
REPEAL THE INVADERS!

>>85108643

When has /tv/ ever given a shit about Camille Paglia?

>>85108205
He is willing to fall in line with the narrative.

>>85108762
That's pretty much all of his films though, with exception to Interstellar.

>>85108784
good lad

>>85108784
Calm down bud

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>>85108643

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>>85107014
>/tv/ actually likes Christopher Normie
ow!

>>85108044
Lol
Trolling yourself
You've been here a while I take it

>>85109035
>/tv/
Entry level capeshit drones from /v/*

>>85108733
Rofl how can i downvote you

>>85107094
>>"Third, there is no humor whatever.

TOP FUCKING PLEB

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>>85107094
wow im actually going to go see it now

ty based cuck

>>85107160
armond should like it. Nolan is 4chan no matter what the plebs say.

>>85107331
>he doesnt appreciate the most kino of all humor
>gallows humor

>>85108465
>>85108509
Uhg they are like animals. Why the fuck don't they deport them?

>>85108784
Jesus christ the lefty asspain with this guy.
You sad your ideology is being rejected around the western world? Leftism is dead and you killed it yourself.

>>85108514
>Not a single solitary woman or child in that sea of shit skins.

Women and children don't work. Men do.

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>>85107094
>no quips or women

based nolan saviour of the white race

>>85110154
those don't

>>85110154
They're refugees. Why are they leaving their women and children behind in an uninhabitable hellhole?

>>85110154
>Women and children don't work. Men do.

Work at destroying their host nation perhaps. If you mean do valuable work lol have a look at unemployment statistics from European countries and see where the majority of the leeches originate.

>>85108205
Rotten Tomatoes IS SHIT. How are you this new?

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>>85110076
>Leftism is dead

Bury it. Consider this mercy.

>>85109964
Armond doesn't like Nolan and neither does anyone else with a morsel of taste.

>>85110154
I'm sure they will working on something lol get it

They will rape white pussy
it's a sex joke.

>>85110654
is that ted cruz?

>>85107331
Hey man, don't talk shit about my quips

>>85110792
It's Rowdy (Trey) Gowdy and you have hours of logickino ahead of you.

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>>85108205
/pol/ right yet again. Guy is upset that an english war drama the celebrates white bravery lacks minorities

>>85110154
so you're saying they are economic migrants, not refugees?

>>85110931
/pol/ is always right

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>>85108205
>Who is your favorite bald actor?
JUST

NOLAN IS A FUCKING GOD

IDGAF about Nolan anyways. I am too smart for his kinos.

>>85107014

a film like Dunkirk is condemned to fail in this day and age when angsty millenials hate their ancestors, disagree on their mythology and repudiate their history.

who is going to defend this land when the hordes come?

>>85107094
>"Third, there is no humor whatever.
The MCU is a disease

>>85112446
But I thought millenials hated nazis. What?

>>85107094
> numales hate it

Certified kino.

>>85112123
but noland makes flicks for dumb people to feel smart

>>85107094
Nolan is LITERALLY ourguy

>>85107331
they should've shown Churchill making brutal quips

>>85107952
I laughed

>autistically waiting on the edge of your seat for a number to go up and down only to declare later said number doesn't matter
Imagine enjoying the film.

>>85108784
I'm liberal as fuck and think you're a dumb spastic fuck. Just stop. You're only doing harm to the cause and embarrassing yourself in the process.

>>85107929
Ditto

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I wonder what pic related will think of Dunkirk

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>compuserve

What the fuck is this? It's like some kind of 90s internet time capsule.

A time before twitter retards, before ebin 4chan trolls, before sjws existed. They actually seem relatively nice, makes me a little sad.

>>85107094
Is this review, dare I say it, numalekino?

>>85114197
what in the fuck

time to start a new insult; go back to compuserve?

>>85114197
>Job is to say if a movie is good or bad and help people decide whether they should watch it or not
>People actually say they're taking action based on his review as it's expected
>"D-don't do it! I am not accountable for my work!"
WHAT
A
FAG

>>85107533
Almost true

>>85110711
>Armond
He's a contrarian you dumbfuck. If this movie came out and was hated he would give it rave reviews. kys nig.

>>85107094
man rotten tomatoes just lets anyone in huh

i can accept the first point but everything else is just non-sense

>>85108733
Just a reminder that 'kino' is a board-wide slang term, and isn't worth getting upset enough to post pasta over

>>85114542
pls go back to r__compuserve__

>>85107014

Third point about there being no story could possibly be a cause for concern but I'm fine with the first two. Ultimately it doesn't matter, knew it was worth checking out from the first trailer and nothing I've read has changed my opinion.

>>85107094
I absolutely agree. This sounds great. Fuck I hate what's happened to men.

>>85107094
dunkino confirmed

>>85107094
this all seem like pros tho

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>>85110931
>>85111218
Indeed, brothas

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>>85110931
>Jews are behind criticism of films where Germans are the villains

is this your brain on /pol/

>>85114197

Oldfag here, it was a good time.

>>85110711
t. literal teenager

>>85109964
Actually I have read many critics who consider Nolan's Batman trilogy essential /conservative core/

>>85110711
Are we sure he doesn't? Cause many of his films can be interpreted as supporting conservative morality and Armond tends to hate anything he sees as messaging liberal morals

>>85114074
He's probably going to like it. Contrary to what people say he's not really a contrarian he's a moralistic critic. If he likes a film's message he likes it, if he doesn't he picks it apart.

Since he probably won't see this movie as being for "millennials" he'll like it.

>>85107739
My new favorite pasta

>>85107014
I'm unironically waiting for Armond's review

>>85107094

Just a reminder that these are the people who said BvS was bad.

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>>85107094
>Third, there is no humor whatever. Blink and you’ll discover maybe three women in the entire picture

DID HIS MOTHER DROPPED HIM ON THE HEAD WHEN WAS BORN? IT'S A FUCKING WAR MOVIE

Armond baits better than this

>>85107094
>Third, there is no humor whatever
How do we kill Disney bros?

>>85107094
>There was no humor in a war movie

What did he mean by this?

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>>85119752
>>85119751
>>85119815
>>85107331
Guys do you not CLEARLY remember in Saving Private Ryan while everyone was being slaughtered on the beach Tom Hanks look right at the camera and said "Damn I hate Mondays" that's the kind of Comedy we're looking for in our war movies. I just don't think Nolan knew what he was making.

>>85109962
Source?

>>85107094
>yfw you realize the Master and Commander memes are real

>>85119869
>DANCE OFF KAISER YOU AND ME BRO
Seriously Kubrick? Kind of ruined Paths of Glory for me

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>I must absorb the blood of those damn dirty aryans!

Wow Nolan, went a bit far you know the wermacht weren't nazis right?

>>85119962
Yeah Nolan, all that raping and chimping out in Poland and Belgium was tongue in cheek, they were actually the good guys!

>>85107094
*one more reply saying the same thing every other reply said*

>>85119888
All female critics loved this film.

>stand up and cheer
>Dunkirk, a mass evacuation of 400,000 allied soldiers trying to not get buttfucked by the germans as they retreat.

What the fuck is there to cheer about?

>>85115494
>mad leftie can't stand /pol/ being right

>>85107014
This guy is literally a movie reviewer on a compu serve message board. what the fuck.

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C O M P U S E R V E

>>85120156
>First, Nolan does not visually give the impression that the Allied forces were encircled by Germans, praying for a miracle and feeling that this battle could be their last.

This is guy is a fucking moron.

>>85120191
>wide glasses
>hipster beard
Can the numales just be exterminated already?

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ADOLF?

>>85107094
This isn't even a real fucking review. I just checked. How gullible are you retards?

>>85120269
That would kill Hollywood and HBO, there would be hardly anyone left to eat up capeshit and GoT.

>>85120329
http://forums.compuserve.com/discussions/Entertainment_Forum/Harvey_Kartens_Reviews/Review_Dunkirk/ws-tv/865.1?scrollTo=os_message_1&redirCnt=1&nav=messages

>>85120338
If capeshit dies then maybe we can have some fucking originality for once.

>>85120221
What's wrong with that point? Sounds like legitimate criticism to me, if it's correct.

>>85107094
>Third, there is no humor whatever.

Uh, it's Dunkirk. It was horrible. Of course there's no humor.

>>85120674
They weren't encircled.

>>85107094
Never read a negative review only to be even more hyped for the movie.

>>85107014
Well obviously. WW2 is so played out and boring.

>>85121436
you are played out and boring

>>85107739
This pasta does even make sense. 0/10.

Compuserve like those shitty computers from the 1990s? This still exists?

>>85107014
Waiting til my boy Armond gets on it

My movie with under 2 quips per minute is automatically trash garbage anti-kino. Dunkirk is a major offender.

How can you release a movie in 2017 without gender balance or adequate LGBTQIA+ membership? Dunkirk deserves under a 50% from this alone.

>>85107160
>>85108374
>>85109964
>>85110711
>>85114074
>>85117514
>>85119690
>>85119751
>>85122412
>>>/killingyourselves/

>>85107331
i think this is a good critic. soldiers were often very light hearted, laughing is a good way to fight pain and hopelessness. watch the longest day, a film made 17 years after the war and compare it to overly dramatic modern war flicks and you will understand

>>85107094
Is he saying that women are supposed to be the comic relief?

No, really, what did he mean by this?

>>85108643
HI Camille, you dried cunt.

>>85108643
>Camille "trannies are the harbinger of civilisational decline" Paglia

Truly /ourgal/

>>85122684
i meant criticism

I'm gonna start telling people to go back to compuserve

>>85107094
I just to choke him with my bare hands, pinning him down with sheer anger

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>>85107014
literally Kino - The Reviewer

>>85122684
But the entirety of Dunkirk is during the battle. Yes soldiers laughed with their bros in their free time, but you don't joke around while Stukas fly above your head and your friend just drowned 2 minutes ago.
A bomb misses your group and kills someone else and what do you want, a "heh that was close" joke?

>>85122857
Is this a high school project?

>>85123247
No this is the type of writing skill you develop when getting your BA in film and Masters in theatre.

>>85115537
Notice how one of the complaints is that that you don't see the enemy

>>85107160
>armond
>good arguments

literally all he ever talks about in his reviews are the politics of the film, he's insanely pleb

we only like him because he's contrarian

>>85107014
damn
jeremy irons SAID THAT

he responds to comments on his review you guys

http://forums.compuserve.com/discussions/Entertainment_Forum/Harvey_Kartens_Reviews/Review_Dunkirk/ws-tv/865.1?scrollTo=os_message_1&redirCnt=1&nav=messages

>>85126776
>he's insanely pleb
maybe. But he writes like a patrician kino connaisseur

>>85119869
This was my favorite:

>COLONEL ANDERSON: There's a Private James Ryan who parachuted in with the Hundred-and-First near Ramelle. I want you to take a search party up there. If he's alive, bring him back to the beach for debarkation. Take whoever you need, you've got your pick of the company.

>CAPTAIN MILLER: I don't see how that's a party.

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lmao. he actually doesnt review capeshit and is pretty conservative, just an awful reviewer

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>>85122877
>A bomb misses your group and kills someone else and what do you want, a "heh that was close" joke?

>>85109035
I can't wait for the hype to die down and then there can be actual discussion. When The Avengers first came out every thread was a pleb circlejerk where everyone who had something even mildly negative to say about it got bashed.

so yeah, it's /v/eddit as usual fucking things up

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>>85128046
>Favorite films: Schindler's List

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>>85107094
LOOKS LIKE KINO'S BACK ON THE MENU BOYS

>>85119869
>thinking that's what is meant by humor

Stop watching Adam Sandler movies. Literally every truly great artist has had a sense of humor. It's a patrician Nabokovian criticism, but it's ruined by the ''no women'' and ''why is it non-linear' remarks.

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>>85107094
And people give Armond shit.

>>85107094
>there's no humor
>there's no women in a story about Dunkirk

This has to be a troll

>>85107094
>"Second, and more important, Nolan employs non-linear filmmaking, avoiding the better approach—which would be chronological."
"i'm too dumb to understand the movie, spoonfeed me"

>>85107434
There was a Hardcore Henry review that said it was "basically like strapping a TV playing Grand Theft Auto to your face and hurtling yourself down the stairs while drinking vodka" and I genuinely couldn't tell if that was supposed to be a bad thing.

I think Nolan has finally made a good movie boys

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>>85107160
Humans often use humor to cope with difficult situations. Just read "Storm of Steel", you plebeian.

>visit London on vacation
>go to mcdonalds
>waiter doesn't accept my tip
>food arrives
>start clapping
>everyone staring at me like I'm a literal autist
>pour ketchup on everything

>>85127151
>Thanks for your input, Anne, but "Dunkirk" the movie is not a documentary.
To his defense, this comment has a merit. Like Argo, of course the director has sort of a creative liberty to enhance the adaptation of historical facts to the film. The worth of the film is then on how the director use this liberty to balance between documentary and total bullshit.

But fuck it, that compuserve website seems like it reeks malware. I won't bother to stay more than 30 seconds

>>85107014
Literally everyone else says it's a masterpiece

>>85107014
this guy looks like jeremy irons in pedo make-up for a tv-movie.

>>85128692
>literally every great artist
Maybe in your film studies world, most haven't in actual useful fields though.

>>85120283
You're a bloke of large stature.

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>>85107014

>yfw Armond will give Dunkirk a positive review

>>85128046
The Polar Express, really?

>>85107094
>current year
>serving white bread

This Hollywood whitewashing has gone too far

>>85128046
>0.5 out of 4 for bubble boy

>>85109035

>judging a film by its director and not on its own merits

>>>/reddit/

>>85107094
>NOT ENOUGH WOMEN AND MINORITIES REEEEEE BAD MOVIE BAD MOVIE