Was the winning move to not play at all?

>Well, at least I don't have to get treated for AIDS now.

Why didn't he just say this.

>>85010614
The winning move was to not be an awkward fat faggot that women want to ridicule

>>85010670
Because then the world would think he had autism in addition to being fat and pathetic

fat neckbeards never win

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>*pulls out glock*..."Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. You were saying? No please, continue... I'd love to hear the rest of this fantasy of yours. EVERYONE ELSE SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP! What's the matter, frog got your tongue? You seemed so talkative before, what changed? Oh this? Yeah, this is normal to carry where I'm from, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's the first real one you've seen. No, don't look at anyone else, look at me. Look at me because I'm the one in control of your life right now. I'm in charge. No, don't cry, that's not going to help you. Not even a little. Wanna know why? Because at this very moment, here and now, as far as you're concerned I'm God and unless you play your cards right, I could very well be the last thing you ever see. So save your tears for someone who cares and choose your next words really fucking carefully now you stupid French bitch. You disgusting whore. Because this is my show now and your fifteen minutes are almost up. Now tell me what you are. Repeat what I just called you. And start taking off your clothes as you do it. Yeah that's right. One piece at a time. Right here and now on national television. Be thankful, I'm about to make you a star..."

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>>85010614
>You whorish, impudent BITCH. How dare you address me in this fashion? I don't know how your life began, but here's how it ends - in a ditch, with your throat slit. Enjoy the brief and vanishing time that will constitute the remainder of your "life."

>*audience hoots and cheers*

>I know both guys pretty well, and I can ensure you, if we were in a hotel room, they would ask BOTH of us to leave
You tell that bitch she's as ugly as you, you make the audience laugh, and make Pitt and Di Caprio look like homo. You win

>>85010789
laugh evertime

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>>Oh yeah? Yeah you like that *grabs into pants and starts flinging shit at her* Yeah you like this? Yeah, you think this is good? Yeah *continues throwing his shit at her* Yeah? Yeah you like this? This good? This French perfume? *Continues throwing his shit at her* Am I a monkey? Am I monkey? Yeah you want some more? Ooooh oooh aaah I'm like a monkey yeah? Dancing monkey? *Throws more shit*

>Your loss.

That's all he had to say you autismos.

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>*angrily smashes fists on the table*
>"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"

>>85010712
>>85010981
cringe

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>they're not my friends

>"wew, i really dodged a bullet there,thanks, i'll see myself out"

there, theres the proper response you literally autistic faggots. its a simple deflection that wouldve made her feel like shit, but isnt vicious or malignant enough to make him seem oathetic and angry

>>85013350
Still doesn't work. She's too hot and he was too fat at the time. There's literally nothing he could have said.

>>85013269
>>85013350

These are shit. I would beat you up if you talked that way to her.

>>85013350
this is good, but not enough to crush her soul, we need an answer that makes him look cool and dominant and humiliatrs her without being too sexist

>>85010614
The winning move was to go back to America, lose most of the fat and continue being worth millions of dollars while that eurotrash whore becomes forgotten and dies of syphilis.

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>>85013461

>I'm coming back to fuck you, whore.

>>85013459
>we need an answer that makes him look cool and dominant and humiliatrs her without being too sexist

He was a fat fuck and shes a top-tier French Stacy, there was literally nothing he could say that wouldve bothered her. It was an impossible battle for him desu

Am i still banned

>>85013459
>makes him look cool and dominant

This is why you don't have friends anon, you got no social sense. He needs to take it in his stride and laugh along, add something to the joke. Something like "holy shit, are you my ex?"

>>85013544
she's froggy looking af. it would be easy enough to dial down her self confidence a few notches.

>>85010981
Unironically one of the best ones I've ever seen in these threads.

>>85013680

>froggy looking af

as a frenchman what the fuck is this supposed to mean?

>>85013680
>coping this hard

shes a literally a manic pixie dream girl

>>85013724
It means you all look like inbred peasants.

>>85013639
>taking in stride and laughing along

Chads dont do that, only betas with lack of self-esteem accept self-deprecating humor. Ive never seen a stacy bully or put down a Chad the way she put down Jonah. Women dont respect men who make fun of themselves. He needed a good comeback to BTFO her. End of story

>>85013639

I don't have any friends cause I beat up nerds, like yourself. What's your address?

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>>85013727
forgot to put the pic

>>85010981
Very good one

Does /tv/ discuss this endlessly because what happened to this disgusting fat kike hits a little too close to home?

should have went for the navy seal pasta desu

>>85013894
>>85013692
>>85010981
Lol samefagging this hard. Its unironically horrrifically bad,

>makes him seem like a little bitch for insulting her
>unnecessarily throws leo and brad under the bus and calls them gay for no reason, must making him look even more pathetic that hes ainsulting his friends

lol, your one of those fat kids who used to get beat up every day at recess, but then yell at the bully "youre a stupid meanieface" and think you won

>>85013952
Brad Pitt is gay though

>>85013952
>lol, your one of those fat kids who used to get beat up every day at recess, but then yell at the bully "youre a stupid meanieface" and think you won
PROJECTION

>>85013867
Ornella a cute. a CUTE

>>85010614
>This is not WWII, you don't have to lie down under americans anymore.

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>>85014085
shit. forgot pic

>>85014089
>Americans thinking anyone gives a shit about WW2
It would be met with puzzlement and ridicule by the audience

>>85014136
Assblasted frog detected
Everyone knows about WW2

>>85014136

Hitler did nothing wrong.

>"Oh yeah? Well, youre a dumb bitchwhore cuntface slut hoebag bitch. Stupid ho you need a giant cock up her ass to remind you that youre nothing but some holes to be fucked. Dumb brainless bimbo shitwhore trashbag bitch cunt village bycle cocksucking cumguzzling bimbo idiot. Stupid bitch, ill fuck you till she you me, then cockslap your frog face until you break down crying and beg for me to stop, then i hug you and trick you into thinking im sorry, then once you relax like the worhtless cocksucking bitch you are, i start cockslapping your idiot oven-dodging stupid face until you cry again because i betrayed your trust"

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>I brought a friend of mine who will really knock you down a peg! What do you think Norm?

>Gee, Jonah, what she said was pretty mean, you should get her back.

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>Alright.. Alright.. First, take a big step back... and literally, FUCK YOUR OWN FACE! I don't know what kind of french bullshit power play you're trying to pull here, but DiCaprio is my territory. So whatever you're thinking, you'd better think again! Otherwise I'm gonna have to head down there and I will rain down an un-Godly fucking firestorm upon you! You're gonna have to call the fucking United Nations and get a fucking binding resolution to keep me from fucking destroying you. I'm talking scorched earth, motherfucker! I will massacre you! I WILL FUCK YOU UP!

>>85014167
Knowing about it /= giving two flying fucks about it, especially in case it's used as a retort by an obese Jewish comedian

He should've just made a joke about her promiscuity, I'm almost certain that she set it up so that he could do that

>>85014303
French women are proud of being huge sluts who sleep around, it wouldn't have been much of an insult

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>>85010614
The answers to this post are so funny. It's so typical of all beta males that replay shit in their head and try to come up with the perfect answer after it happened. I bet you also try to come up with premeditated conversations with multiple "if she says X I say Y" in the rare cases you manage to lure a 3D girl to a date.

>>85014328
"Putain", the expletive they use in place of "fuck", means "whore/slut"

It's just as derogatory in their culture

The fuck did she say to him?

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>>85014328

Very true.

>>85013765
>only betas with a lack of seld esteem accept self-deprecating humor

You are a brain damage

>>85014335

And I bet you're a little bitch who couldn't take me in a fight. You wouldn't even be able to comprehend the shit I would do to you.

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>I am rubber, you are glue, everything you say bounces off me and sticks back to you

>>85013848
612 wharf avenue

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>Imagine being Ornella Fleury in that interview and having to be all like "damn, Jonah Hill, you fuckin' fine, all sexy with your thicc body and horrific androgynous monster face. I would totally have sex with you, both my character and the real me." when all she really wants to do is go suck off Brad Pitt or Leo Dicaprio (or both at the same time) in their hotel rooms. Like seriously imagine having to be Ornella and not only sit in that chair while Jonah Hill flaunts his disgusting body in front of you, the favorable lighting barely concealing his stretchmarks and leathery skin, the huge neckbeard barely concealing his triple-chin, and just sit there, take after take, hour after hour, while he perfected that interview. Not only having to tolerate his monstrous fucking visage but his haughty attitude as everyone on set tells him he STILL GOT IT and DAMN, Jonah Hill LOOKS LIKE *THAT*?? because they're not the ones who have to sit there and watch his fat fucking gremlin face contort into types of grimaces you didn't even know existed before that day. You've been sucking off nothing but a healthy diet of Pierres cum for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of the boonies in Paris. You've never even seen anything this fucking disgusting before,and now you swear you can taste the sweat that's breaking out on his dimpled forehead as he smiles suggestively at you, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to get paid to sit there and revel in his "statuesque (for that is what he calls himself)" beauty, the beauty he worked so hard for with personal trainers in the previous months. And then the director calls for another take, and you know you could make fun of every single person in this room before the studio security could put you down, but no, you wont sit there and endure, because you're fucking Ornella Fleury. You're going to risk promising career as a local weather girl. Youre not going to bear it and youre not going to hide your face and bear it.

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>*laugh nervously*
>I didn't know I signed up for celebrity roast
Maybe not a perfect response, but a good one given the short window he has.

>>85010981
Uhhhhh, homopboique much?

>>85014506
Not good, she would have replied with
>Um, I'm sorry but did you say flubber?

>>85010789
The only comeback in this situation.

>>85014102
Pretty average. A negative remark about her looks would easily destroy her confidence.

>>85014477
You must be underage.Girls dont make fun of guys they want to fuck, They try their shit-tests, but nothing as malicious as the venom they have toward fat fucks like Jonah. only betas play along and laugh when made fun of by a girl. Its the fastest way to a one-way ticket to the friend zone. my roommate is an uber-chad and who has a revolving harem of like 15 girls right now. One time we were on a double-date and he brought some random roastie off tinder, and she tried to make fun of him for how he was dressed, and he literally cut her off mid-sentence and told her to pull up her pants cuz everyone can see her panties. She blushed and went quiet and was like putty in his hands for the rest of the date, and he fucked her the same night and literally sent her out at like 3 am in the morning to go home alone.
If he had laughed initially when she made fun of him and acted all gay and submissive and said "yeah silly me with my orange t-shirt haha" ....you really think she wouldve fucked him?

>>85014570
kek

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>>85014820
>A negative remark about her looks would easily destroy her confidence.

Yeah, no. If it was someone handsome and a hearthrob like Bradley Cooper or Chris Evans insulting her looks, than yeah. Theres literally nothing a fat fuck like Jonah could say to make her feel bad about herself. Any remark by him implying shes ugly would just seem desperate and tryhard, because shes way out of his league looks-wise

>>85014843
this. betas cant comprehend that women despise any sign of weakness in a man. the moment a man loses his frame and shows literally any meekness/deferring to them, their cunts become dryer than the Sahara

"I leave? Why, is your mother in the next room?"

>>85014570
>Looks about late 30s to early 40s
>look her up
>31
>no kids either

Ouch.

>... I'll tell Brad and Leo to bring a bag ..

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>>85015131
dont worry she will be having little Ahmeds in no time

>>85015317
>shes a coalburner

why am i not surprised

>>85013339
heh

Do you guys think he saw the subway memes and decided to turn his life around or was it the weathergirl incident ?

>>85015131
only sub humans have kids before their thirties these days

>>85010981
>I can ensure you

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>I shed your body weight yearly in my weight fluctuations. Know what that means? I could kill you. I could eat you. And flush it all down the toilet. People would just think, there Jonah goes again, gaining and losing weight. But it wasn't Subway I lost. Oh no. It'd be you. And I hate French food. You'd go down doused in ketchup you smug frog, down in red and out in brown.

>>85015575
>For a price

>>85014089
French fought harder than Americans in WW2 though

>>85010981
>attacking someone that's not in the room
no fuck off

>>85015588
kekd and checkd

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>>85010789
God I love this one

>>85015650

Not untrue, but when a big fat guy bellyflops onto some winded fitter guys who've been fighting for a while, whoever the fat guy lands on is probably gonna lose.

>>85010614
>But mon cherie, if you want to make a sandwitch, you don't get rid of the expert beforehand

>>85014843
This reads like the autistic fantasy of a shut-in

>>85013350
>seem pathetic and angry
"Seem" being the keyword here. Dude's a joke, and so is everyone who unironically tries to think of ways he should have "crushed her".

>>85014843
>"yeah silly me with my orange t-shirt haha"
That's not really self-deprecating humor, that's just being a sperg.
The response isn't even that important, it's the attitude. His butt cheeks were clenching before she even started talking. Reminder that no matter how much time you nerds spend making flowcharts of possible responses, in a situation like this, you will get btfo just as he did.

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>bitch at least I'm not dating some towel head looking morrocon git called Mustapha. Do they call him the Line King too because airport security must love picking him for extra security screening

Why is every Jonah Hill thread so fucking funny

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>>85018536
Probably because he's a walking meme

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>>85018536
Jonah Hill thread are inversely proportional to Jonah Hill humour.

>>85019019
what a fucking juif

>>85010614
>actually Leo is in town, wanna go out with us tonight?
>*blushes* oui
>nah, just kidding

>>85015524
this is the only acceptable comeback

>>85015588
>but it wasn't Subway I lost
kek

>>85013339
kek