Besson space-kino CONFIRMED. CARA AND DANE ARE #LITTY, BOYS

This is pretty much exactly what I expected

>>84832922
>average rating 6.2
this movie is going to end up rotten. that's to be expected, though - mainstream critics can't handle blockbusters with originality. i'm still looking forward to seeing it.

>>84832922
Besson never does anything better than slightly above average.

What worked in his favour was gargantuan amounts of money were never spent on his film. This is going to flop so fucking hard.

>>84833040
I'm expecting it to be totally bananas but I'll see it to support original scifi adaptations. and for Cara

>>84833040
Most critics actually seem to like it a lot, I think someone wrote in their review that it was "Star Wars on crack." Anyhow, it seems that Dane DeHaan is the worst part of the movie from all the reviews I've read.

>>84833040
fifth element has 6.3/10 with 72%

>Ladies and gentlemen, your Razzie frontrunner.

>The Razzies don't need to wait until the end of the year to anoint a winner for 2017. The Golden Turkey Awards should be republished with a new cover. Euro-trash is back, while sci-fi will need to lick its wounds for a while. Dane DeHaan, who has starred in two of the most egregiously bloated misfires of the year with A Cure for Wellness and now this, should do a couple of indie films, while Cara Delevingne needs to learn there is more to acting than smirking and eye-rolling. Rihanna should pretend this never happened. And the Hollywood studio chiefs can breathe easy that, this time, at least, they'll escape blame for making a giant summer franchise picture that nobody wants to see, since this one's a French import.

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/review/valerian-city-a-thousand-planets-review-1019847

what did they mean by this?

>>84832922
I hope it rooten.
Fuck those spoiled drugfuck fags

>>84832922
Nice.

>>84833132
> A Cure for Wellness
> "egregiously bloated misfire"

In the trash goes this review.

>>84833132
The only reason sci-fi has to lick its wounds is because Star Wars has irreparably damaged the genre with its mediocrity paired with stupid popularity.

>>84833132
>holywood reporter
They meant that space adventure not sanctioned by the mouse isn't kosher

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>>84833132
These are the people that escaped bullying and the thorough honest to God ass beatings that would've made decent human beings out of them. This is what the Left is trying to cultivate with safe spaces and social justice.

>>84833132
Holy shit this jewish damage control is off the charts.

Cure for Wellness was at worst a 7/10. Dane Dehaan was good in it too.

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>>84832922
Yasss

can't wait to see this one Chanbros. I'm thinking a safe 6 out of 10 easily but hoping for more.

>>84833121
it also came out in the mid nineties, before critics shoved their head fully up Disney's ass

>>84833337
I'm glad I'm not the only one who liked it. The cinematography alone was great.

I loved Fifth Element, and while I'm iffy about Cara and Dane as such iconic characters, the visual appeal and Franco/Belgian comic atmosphere I've seen has me interested.

>>84833198
> "egregiously bloated misfire"
Have writers just stopped striving for coherent prose? Has it just become, put one adjective next to the other without any regard to how they relate to one another?

>>84832922
>Cara and Dane are #litty boys

ftfy

>>84832922
Wow, you really sound like a fucking moron.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slxQwjtHLHc

ScreenJunkies liked it. Therefore, I will like it.

>>84833462
Nice to see that design in a sci fi project that's worth a shit.

>>84833462
>mass effect invented motorcycle armor

the world is full of people who go along with what they are told what to like and who to like. Form your own opinion on movies and the actors in them. Trust the director with actors they chose for their movie.

>>84833462
the real joke here is the size of the breastplate on Cara's armor. her tits aren't anywhere near that size.

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>>84833462
Also here's an Alien from a Russian SciFi movie

>>84833545
They did the same thing with Wonder Woman.

>>84833524
>Trust the director with actors they chose for their movie.
But it's CARA

>>84833442
The modern day critic thinks using a thesarus equates to sounding smart.

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>>84832922
I'm actually kinda hyped for this flick but too bad it's gonna flop. Even worse Dunkirk is opening on the same day

>>84833568
Everybody knows Besson just wanted to bang her. He loves children and women who look like children.

>>84833462
they wouldnt even look the same if the costumes were silver like in the comics

>>84832922
>At its best, "Valerian" has the dense, madcap rush of a comedic cartoon sci-fi - think "Futurama" or "Rick and Morty," though neither as funny nor as inventive as either.
>Fresh
LMAO

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>>84833132

>The mouse is literally SEETHING

Gonna watch it just because of that

>>84833677
I'm going to buy lots of disney products just to spite you anon

>>84832922
damn. looks like a fucking made for TV movie.

>>84833698
No it absolutely does not.

>>84833719
It really does

>>84833442
>>84833572
t. brainlets
Enjoy your FUN movies that are FUN

>>84833672
You realize critics choose whether their review is fresh or not right? So he chose fresh.

I take it I should see this one in 3D definitely right?

>>84833750
>starving emotions just to prove how smart you are

Pathetic.

>>84833771
That's the point. Idiot wouldn't know fresh if it bit him on his gargantuan ass.

>>84833726
Nah, capeshit movies CGI looks made for TV tier but not this.

Granted, I can see DeHaan and Cara doing made for TV shit.

>people won't watch this because capeshit is on every fucking month

The industry is ruined folks, capeshit has fucking ruined everything

>>84833786
This looks like a retarded mash-up of shitty cgi with shitty cast. Made for telly has alot better crap than this

>>84832922
Really, when between having that troglodyte Cara in it and the fucking trailer being scored to Gangster's Paradise I had about as much intention to see this as Paul Blart Mall Cop 2

>>84832922
>Reviews counted: 14
>Rotten: 3

I really wanted this to be good, but it's gonna end around 45% at this rate.

>>84833698
How? The CGI in this looks marvelous. I just got back from watching Homecoming and in comparison I swear to God I thought I was watching a video game for half that film.

>>84833771
Here, I'll make things easier for you
>Valerian is like Rick and Morty but less funny and less inventive, but it's still fresh/good
I know everyone on this board is a huge fan of the incredible humor and inventiveness of Rick and Morty, so even though this film is less of both by comparison, it'll still be great. The reviewer that said that marked it fresh after all!

>>84833828
>one is set in a similar reality, one is not

Wow thanks for pointing out someone swinging around on webs looks like it came from a game

>>84833698
literally the opposite of that, retard

looks like the typical hollywood bullshit, whose only saving grace are the god tier cgi: think ghost in the shell, transformers, or jupiter ascending.

>>84833874
LOL wtf is even your point? If anything Homecoming CGI should have been GREAT because it's set in reality whereas Valerian is going to be like greenscreen set after greenscreen set and it still looks better than Homecoming.

>>84833132
A cure for wellness was great though

>>84833828
marvel capeshit cgi, except ocasionally for x-men stuff, is rather terrible

>>84833912
Nice b8 reddit.
It inherently can't look great because it's not real champ. Doesn't matter how "realistic" it looks, it's never going to pass because we're not morons.
Try using something similar to what you're criticizing as examples in future, like GoTG

>>84833983
>me making it clear I don't enjoy Marvel
>REDDIT

And you dare call people morons?

>>84834029
2/10 for the reading comprehension.
GotG is a cgi shitfest.
Valerian is a cgi shitfest.
Homecoming HAS shit cgi, but isn't a cgi shitfest.
Get it now sexy?

>>84833132
>the whole ""critic"" is about how the movie refuses to be a by-the-numbers, save-the-cat, hollywood cliche

NOW i really wan't to see this.

>>84833107
Don't bully /Are Dane/, we all want to see a fa/tv/irgin make it.

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>>84832922
More MindGeek INCEST propaganda / brainwashing

>>84834175
>couple of heroin addicts and a shitty star trek alien

spare me

>>84833132
he meant his almonds were activated, his jimmies were rustled, butt was hurt, his booty was blasted, that his anus was erupted, his colon was crucified, his sphincter was savaged, his rump was roasted, and he was visibly LITERALLY SHAKING.

I'm going to see this and talk every hooting drunk ass in the parking lot to pay for tickets too.

I'm hoping it doesn't flop cause besides Cara it looks good

>>84834175
Nice colors here. Pretty interested in this.

>>84834268
kek

funny but true

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>>84833489
Based Dan

>>84834175

I can't stop thinking this guys looks like a younger version of the guy from A Cure for Wellness since people bring up that movie here. Another reason that movie was trashed was the hero looking like a creep cunt, but personally that helped me root for him by movie end.

>>84834761
literally is the guy from Cure for Wellness

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>>84834761
>>84834813

yeah they do look really similar