I am going to give you the choice I never had

HOBO'S DICK CHEESE

>>84759136
I'm down.

>>84759136
Lestat thinks being gay is a choice.
Truly an oldfag.

>>84759136
Truly vampirekino. Truly.

Special effects in this movie were really good.

>>84759528
Recommend me some vampirekino.
I can only think of Near Dark, Lost Boys and Blade I & II right now.

>>84759745
Cat People '82 is better than any vamp flick

>>84759745

Let the Right One In. Not the American remake, though. That one's just mediocre. Read the book for maximum overdrive, though.

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>>84759136
Anyone else ever jack off to this scene?

>>84759745
Thirst was okayish. Or at least different enough.

>>84759745
What We do in the Shadows.

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>>84760190
yes

>>84760227
Oh I've seen that one
Pretty funny, even more if you play Vampire the Masquerade
Poor Petyr

Tfw no loli vampire waifu

>>84759745
only lovers left alive is good. Nice visuals, soundtrack, atmosphere, MC is an edgy loner just like me and a loose non structured plot. Only the age remarks annoy me a little, but every vampire in modern times movie has them.
>LOL WE'RE OLD AS SHIT HAHA BECAUSE WERE VAMPIRES GET IT?!?!?!
>>84760227
sadly it turned to shit in the third act, it was so good

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>>84759745

>>84762011
>>LOL WE'RE OLD AS SHIT HAHA BECAUSE WERE VAMPIRES GET IT?!?!?!
Yeah, that shit is always obnoxious, but as you said, it it almost warranted any vampire flick will have those type of lines. In this movie they feel so forced, though.
>I was friends with Tesla!
Gimme a break, Jarmusch. Just kidding, I love you, Jarmusch/senpai.

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>>84760190
I like her garters. Chicks in old-school hose are so fucking sexy.

>>84760634
Petyr was awesome

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>>84759745
John carpenter's vampire and from dusk till dawn

>>84762096
idk, Neil Jordan doing his own vamp kino? I'm intrigued but as far as I am concerned, Anne Rice has written the definitive lore. Not the last two books that fuck everything up though. Should have ended with Blood and Gold

I'll probably watch it

>>84759745
The Fright Night with Al Bundy's lesbian neighbor.

>>84762011
Only Lovers Left Alive was fucking trash. what 'atmosphere' did it have going for it?

>>84763127
I have no idea why people like that shitty hipster flick

lol muh shakespeare

the 2 part tv miniseries of salems lot with rob lowe

Some fun facts about Anne Rice vamps

>They are made of different stuffs then skin and flesh
>As they get older the purity of this stuff increases
>The oldest ones are like statues
>Older vamps also need to feed less often. The oldest can go decades or centuries without.
>Sometimes they will bury themselves intentionally and sleep for hundreds of years, because they're bored or whatever
>They cannot fuck, because they don't get proper erections and they don't produce any bodily fluids
>Every vampire passes out cold when the sun comes up, no matter what

>>84763127
you didnt like an hermit musician vampire in the abandoned streets of detroit with barely any plot? well to each its own
https://youtu.be/jT9kegPf1-o

>>84760227
I'm a New Zealander and I didn't find this funny

I don't understand the hype. The shitty CGI took me out of it as well.

>>84759745
Queen of the Damned.

>>84763299
>need to feed less often
>bury themselves intentionally and sleep for hundreds of years, because they're bored or whatever
>They cannot fuck
>Every vampire passes out cold when the sun comes up, no matter what
so they're neets? but seriously, I love this type of mythology, should I read her books?

>>84763299
>Every vampire passes out cold when the sun comes up, no matter what

unless you are the original two, fed many times from the original two or are old as fuck and were created by the original two

>>84763416
her books are pretty good, she has some interesting ideas about loneliness, religion and human relationships. be prepared for A LOT of homolust though.

>>84763416
It might be nostalgia, but I can go back and read a good portion of her books any time that I want to, and get lost in the mythology of it all. Interview/TVL/Queen of the Damned you should obviously read. Blood and Gold is probably my favorite of the entire series. I think that Vampire Armand is easily skippable, and is filled with way too much homoerotic BDSM (and this is saying a lot when dealing with Anne Rice).

>>84763416
>so they're neets?
every single goddamn one of them

you have like 8 solid novels to read starting with interview.

>>84763489
Also, skip the last book she wrote. And Blackwood Farm.

The first Witches book she wrote is really god damn good, too, but ends on a cliffhanger and the others get pants-on-head retarded.

>>84763468
no, even after lestat takes the core into himself he is still in his tomb, an hour before sundown (by mandate of his council for their protection)

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>>84763521
sunrise* i should say

>>84763468
That's wrong, though. Even Maharet passed out with the coming of the sun. She said she woke up when she tried to burn herself.

Also, it's a big plot-point in Tale of the Body Thief that he needs to get to a safe location after getting his body back, because, as strong as he is, he still passes out at dawn. Re-read the series, idiot.

>>84763543
*after she tried to burn herself.

>>84763543
spoilers my nigger, we have new readers itt

>>84763521
>>84763543
wasn't there a part where akasha went outside during the day? i thought the big deal with the original two were that they were immune to the sun. i havent read past queen of the damned though.

>>84763638

After Akasha and her dude go down for the long nap, their first caretaker gets emo at some point and sets them outside, hoping to destroy them. He is horrified to awake the next evening, covered in terrible burns. Every vampire in the world has burned.

Later on in Queen of the Damned, Akasha stays awake by racing across the world, ahead of the sun, never letting it rise on her. She takes Lestat along on her little tour of terror and vampire immolation

>>84763299
Remember there was a time when vampires fear garlic and cross?

>>84763701
Yeah, undoubtedly it was that sort of superstitious thing that Anne Rice grew up reading and watching as a kid. She describes going to The Mummy in the forward to Ramses the Damned.

I like her mythos more. Memnoch the Devil is probably the best yarn of the lot.

Shadow of the Vampire is pure kino.

>>84759136
I remember being an emo teen myself once starring at statues under street lamps thinking that I was admiring the beauty of the night with my extra senses

>>84763754
I will suck your dick until you feel it go off, like a crossbow

then continue your education in the finest bordellos of Venice

It would honestly suck to be immortal. That part where Brad Pitt's character is narrating and they show clips of how much time has passed and he just seems really bored with the shit. You know living from the 1700s all the way until 1994.

>>84764189
Oh and the audience is suppose to believe Tom Cruise's character has been sitting in that chair for centuries while burned to a crisp? Man, fuck this movie.

>>84759745
Only Lovers Left Alive, it seems reddit at first but it's actually pretty great.

>>84764189
>it would suck
you have no imagination. i think it would kick ass. especially now with people making more vidya, movies, music, tv, books and whatever than I can possibly watch.

there's a whole bit about one of the vampires (forgot which) becoming obsessed with videogames. he just sits inside all night long and plays vidya and doesn't give a shit. he does this for like a decade or more.

>>84764189
>>84764242
Later on they make a real cool club in New Orleans and they all hang out and be moody and dusty together, it's super chill and mortals don't know shit. They think they're all a bunch of eccentrics. ha! those crazy fucks.

>>84763299
Reminder that the original 2 vampires were created by angering an evil spirit and that they almost all died by killing the queen.

How did they survive anyway? Did lestat eat her heart?

Anyway the books are gay as fuck. Literally. Interview is great but then she capitalised on Lestat's popularity and made him the MC. Armand was reduced to what was essentially a manchild who was barely older than lestat, louis was basically non existant.

Then Anne Rice found god or some shit and the burks turned to complete crap. Body snatcher was the last good book.

And then Lestat gets enslaved by witches in her other book series.

Fuck Anne Rice.

>>84764305
In the new books Lestat finds Atlantis and finds out that Vampires are actually ayylmao hybrids. I shit you not.

>>84764305
kek

That first one they survived because the mute redhead hottie ate the heart. then she gets all emo and is like "lestat pls kill me" and hes like "ok lol"

idk wtf is up with these latest books. they are just... ugh.

>>84762096
Ugh, I hated the vampires in this movie. Just the style of them. They don't seem to do anything with their immortality other than live in boring gentleman's clubs. It's like Interview with Vampire universe but infinitely more boring. And killing victims to feed will always be logistically stupid.

However, the creation scene of vampires and weird unsaid mysticism surrounding that creepy devil island that causes vampirism somehow was top fucking notch. Like you could add it to the cultural vampire mythology canon.

Also don't have high expectations for the movie. It's failed "deep".

>>84764242
Your friends and family would eventually die and you would be a soulless undead asshole for as long as the earth still orbits the sun(your arch nemesis) what would the point be? To turn other people into vampires to accompany you in your own misery? You can be a vampire and not a selfish dickhead at the same time.

Man I devoured all Anne Rice's books as an adolescent boy. I only realized as I got older how gay they were. It was like patrician homoerotic fanfiction which could have totally been an anime.

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>>84764413
my family is a bunch of dumb assholes who could care less about me tbqhwy.

you could enjoy all the benefits and luxuries of humanities, never grow old, never suffer disease or malady, be strong beyond all measure, you only weakness the sun, or fire, or having your head loped off while you sleep. and you can feel more passionately than any mortal, you FEEL everything so very much. music is better than sex. art is religion. everything is so unbearably beautiful.

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>>84764415

>>84764415
Queen of the Damned and Memnoch the Devil were pretty decent though. Weren't they?

>>84764222
Shut up, fool

>>84764460
Now I'm wondering what his old ass did for an occupations over the years, obviously worked 3rd shift, but what did he do for a living... You're clearly a vampire, how do you pay rent?

>>84764222
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBDkQc3qS94

tom deserved an oscar for this. so far out of type, and he nails it.

>>84764508
>Memnoch the Devil
Is that the one where he talks to Satan? That one was like a weird fever dream (actually several of her books feel that way).

I only remember my favourite ones were Interview, Merrick and Blood and Gold. Blood and Gold because of the historical epic aspect.

>>84764305
Armand was literally always around 15 years old, what the fuck are you talking about?

You obviously didn't read the books. There's more shit in your posts that's flat-out wrong than that.

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>>84764641
>cast middle-aged man Antonio Banderas to play shota Armand
truly aggravating

>>84764661
Bandero nailed it tho

I still partially blame Rice for sparkle vampires. She made it okay for vampires to be pretty and not monstrous.

>>84764684
well not really. first of all he plays it too spanish. armand isn't from iberia iirc.

secondly he's way too fucking old.

i don't think he gets the beats right either. he's definitely the weakest link in casting. The rescue of Louie is pretty goat but that's it.

>>84759136
amazing movie, tom cruize's character went from good to bad to amazing in my eyes, and brad pitt's one is just a spoilt crybaby waagh my feelings waagh i had everything (getting the fassbender big dick man sad pasta vibes from him to be honest)

>>84764343
what happens to Louie?

>>84764867
He figures out how to unlock easy mode for all the vampires

he's still a cuck tho

>>84764605
You can't BRUISE THE CRUISE is a saying for a reason. Nobody has ever said, ''Tom Cruise really sucked in that movie". The movie might be shit, but he gives it his all. Everyone knows that.

>>84764701
Not sure if trolling...

Carmilla
Brides of Dracula

And before that Varney was muh angsty vampire before Louis, Nick Knight and Angel.

Fiction (not folklore) vamps always were pretty and angsty. But they were also monsters. That's the part that was missing in Twilight. I blame that author.

This is such a disturbing movie. First movie you genuinely feel how horrifying vampire immortality is. And the fucking deaths were some of the scariest death scenes on film. Or maybe they were spookier because I was younger.

>>84764953
Is Carmilla really that big? It's historically significant, but I don't think people read it or take it that seriously. From what I know (I haven't read it) it's more of a ghost story that people backwardly date as an early vampire story.

I think Anne Rice in Vampire: the Masquerade one two punched into creation vampires as angsty everyday people with a sexy shadow society and unique powers.

>>84764958
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9B3YsHfas0

>>84764928
True. I have skipped most Tom Cruise movies, but started watching them in recent years, and boy is he likeable and good in all of them. Such a good guy. I would gladly marry him and I'm not even gay!

>>84764597
All vampires are inexplicably rich. Probably steal. Which they would have trouble doing in present day unless they can hypnotize.

>>84764597
>>84765088
Take all the drug money from the drug lords and all the child pimping money from the pimps after draining their carcasses dry and dumping them in the canals.

>>84765116
I don't think there are that many drug lords and child pimps, and they probably don't keep their money on themselves.

>>84765170
They keep it in safes, and vampires can rip safes apart like paper. It's not in a fucking bank (though a bank wouldn't stop a vampire either).

They can also lift heavy fucking shit, like pallets of gold and carry them across a city's rooftops without alerting mortals.

Mostly they use mortals in finance to run their affairs and keep their bank accounts flush through investing large sums.

>>84765203
And what would they do with all the drug lord's henchmen filling them with lead?

>>84765241
Well kill the shit out of them obviously. Vampires don't really care about small arms fire too much. It's the sort of thing they would heal in a day from. What actually would fuck them is a torch or napalm. Napalm would probably be the end of a vampire. They try to keep their existence of the d/l though. AFAIK there are no modern vampire hunters in the Chronicles.

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>>84765241
Break The Rules, brainiac.
https://youtu.be/p4Z96WwZrL0

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>>84759136
This movie was prime Kristen Dunst, prove me wrong

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>>84765681
You're wrong. Jumanji was prime Kirsten Dunst.

>>84765606
this is amazing
thank you for making my night kickass

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i think i might be the only human on earth that actually loves queen of the damned, but i just love it so much

>>84766390
It's a guilty pleasure.

>>84759745
Bram Stoker's Dracula is the GOAT.

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30 days of night might be the only movie to ever depict vampires realistically as they were known in european legends.
the real legends of vampires would talk about them as scary ugly corpse monsters the same way 30 days of night depicted them.
it might be the closest representation to legend in a movie
(Besides for Nosferatu of course )

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cv568AzZ-i8

>>84766917
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2w3H_oLSIU

fucking loved that movie

>>84759745
Let The Right One In, Only Lovers Left Alive

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>>84759136
The movie has its flaws. But I love the depressing Russian aesthetic and the creative use of fantasy elements in a modern setting.

>>84763638
Sunlight didn't bother Akashia much. But for anyone else it was either intense pain or death. The older vamps could survive sunlight but it was still very painful.

>>84759136
Kino movie

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>>84760190
>not Lestat and Louis scenes

I had to check if I was still in /tv/ and not in /x/ half-way through reading the thread.
Take this gay ass vampire shit elsewhere

>>84766602
This movie could have been kino if they casted it better. Fucking Josh Hartnett? The vamps were all multicultural and weird like, why was there a fat Asian guy in the crew? It looked really out of place. The language they spoke was bad ass and the dialog was pretty good. That scene where the girl gets pulled into the crawl space is fucking great. Maybe budget problems?

I love this film and have seen it a thousand times, but deep down I know it's not that good. It has some solid performances and a nice aesthetic, but the pacing and story...

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so are theese the only good vampire movies?

The older I get the more I understand the part about "old vampires need young vampires to help them stay connected to the world"

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>>84768420
>castlevania
Nigga what are you doing?
This cartoon was shit so far
>no grant
>that shitty animation quality

Also
>no Near Dark

>>84768420
Cain wasn't a vampire

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>>84768420

>>84768481
>Near Dark
never heard of it, and saw a couple dozenes vampire threads here through the years

>>84768545
i remember him saying he was called that too, or Vlad's story came from about him when he was in transylvania or something

>>84764641
No there isn't. I read the books up to body snatcher faggot.

Go reread them, your memory is clearly fucking piss poor.

>15

His body was yes you gigantic fucking retard, in interview he's supposed to be the oldest living vampire.

Holy shit, did you even read the books?

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>>84768553
/tv/ is full of plebs, I'm not even surprised
Literally Sabbat: The Movie
Sereven was Cassidy from Preacher before Preacher was a thing

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>>84768648

>>84768648
literally me