How would this movie be different if it was set in Australia

They wouldnt need to CGI in spiders.

They'd all have australian accents

Chamber of Secrets would have played out like a wildlife documentary.

The hogwarts express would have to constantly stop because of abos camping on the tracks.

>>84699594
Would their be aboriginal wizards and witches?

>>84699499
Cell Block H meets Neighbours

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It would be even more shit and boring than it already is.

Hagrid wears shoulder pads, a mohawk and rides a flying Kawasaki

Hagrid would be steve irwin

>>84699629
>dolla for the floo network?
>summonium petroliasa!

>>84699499
>flying car is a VT Commodore

>>84699801
I think maybe a torana.

That's not a wand, this is a wand.

Harry and Ron would have a golden gaytime.

Cricket on brooms.

>>84699499
The entire country would be Azkaban.

flying commodore ute
kangaroo meat feast
victoria bitter alchemy

So, in other words, what would it be like if set in Azkaban in stead of Hogwarts?

>>84699499
>Fuckin aye, not Slytherin, eh? Are you sure, mate? You could be a bloody sick cunt, you ganga. Its all here in your fookin head. And Slytherin will help you on your way to being a bloody sick cunt. There's no doubt about that. No? Well, if youre sure...better be...Gryffindor!

What did Columbus mean by this?

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>>84699499
The giant magical spiders would just be normal spiders there.

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>>84701038
Aragog? More like a Ara-drongo, the poofter.

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>>84699499
harry potter kills his aunt and uncle in england and the film cuts to him on a boat going to hogwarts

>>84699720
More hot chicks.
I wanna cummies

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>>84700926
>fookin

>>84699499
Hedwig would be kidnapped and repurposed to deliver ASOS orders between the actual stated business days.

>>84702497
>more
You mean there would actually be hot chicks

>>84699720
a-at least the books are good though

>>84699594
Why did I laugh? I've never even BEEN to Australia.

>>84704602
"No!"

>>84699499
The books would just be about Harry Ron and Hermione backpacking to other countries, ignoring local customs, acting like boorish pigs and insulting everyone

>>84700926
>fookin
Dumb burger

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>>84699499
Then it would be one the bloodiest sick franchises in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

>>84699499
Harry and Ron would fuck many loose women and get high off the various potions they could make, Hermione would be a generally disgusting girl, drinking and swearing and sleeping around, Hagrid would be a Paul Hogan-esque stereotypical Australian, Neville would die in a broomcrash and flying under the influence of drugs. Malfoy would deal coke for a living and fuck many loose women, Seamus would be outcasted because he wants to stay away from all the degeneracy, hence get little screen time and be for all intents and purposes a social reject for trying to be a good person.
Look past the Australian stereotypes and you'll find a country whose depravity and degeneracy would rival the foulest areas of any Euro backstreet red-light district

Every evening at Koalawarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry just outside Perth, the students file into he great hall while vegemite magically fills their plates. When coming of age, each child goes to Horizon Alley and is matched with their magic boomerang made from a selection of savanna woods and kangaroo hairs.

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>>84705134
Dude we're just having some fun here, no need to break out the copypastas and flail your dick around announcing how much smarter you are for watching "high art" films like Man of Steel.
Ya cunt

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>>84700717

>>84705134
>Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?
Don't be an idiot. If Rowling wanted to retain some degree of creative control it makes sense to not bring in a huge name like Spielberg. It isn't even like he is the only good director out there.

>>84703111
Not him but the right one is "fackin" right?

>>84705566
>>84704989
Fougheaukin.

>>84705357
It's the first time I post that copypasta anon, I saw the opening and I took it

>>84705566
You can't really type it out, but the closest would probably be something like 'fwuahken'.

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>>84699499
every spell would have the word "cunt" at the end