>tfw going to jail for 8 months in 2 weeks what movies should

>>84587418
What for?

Also, Bronson

just marathon hunter x hunter 2011

Just enough time for OZ

>>84587418

>Posting this without context

Obvious bait, but at least humor us with wtf you did.

Bronson
Shawshank redemption
green mile

Oz (tv show)
prison break maybe

>tfw if something this lifechanging happened to me i would probably post about it on /tv/ too

>>84587418

American History X on a loop for 2 weeks.

>>84587482

does it have a 1080p version

>>84587418
The big stan

>>84587530
Yup, especially this scene https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dY6n8tIbqlY

>>84587453
>>84587497
Attempted rape.

Cake Boss
Prison Break
Documentaries on prison rape
Poor Little White Boy 7

>>84587574
You're gonna get attempted in jail as well. But it will just be called rape.

>>84587574
>so beta he can't even successfully rape someone

>>84587574
Can you greentext the situation?

Brutal gay porn, just so you can addapt better to your new situation there.

>>84587418
You gotta marathon orange is the new black so you'll know the unspoken rules of prison

>>84587574
How the fuck do you cuck yourself like this over a succubus?

Were you literally born with brain damage?

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I just became a prison guard today. It was fucking awful OP. I hope you're a nigger or you're going to be the odd man out.

>>84587574
What are you gonna do when you get out of prison?

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nah man rather go and fuck some whores, party, smoother your face into tits, take LSD, jerk off to degenerate porn on the internet and enjoy as much good food as possible.

TV and movies you can watch inside, we literally do nothing else but watching TV in there.

been in 8 years but got out early last year

You gotta tell us exactly what happened. You don't start a thread like this and leave us.
Also Sawshank Redemption, especially the butt sex scenes. Will be useful to you =^)

>>84587608
>be me
>attempt to rape someone
>get arrested

>>84587574
Awkward timing to figure out you're a fag

fuck watching movies, start lifting asap or you gon get raped

>>84587556
wow that's some bad acting

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>>84587574
aw dog, you are about to get rammed hard. I strongly suggest you start shitting yourself and start walking around town naked and start having unrelated conversation when questioned. get yourself thrown in the looney bin if you don't want to spend the next 8 months as cum rag.

Its your only choice now son.

>>84587697
What the fuck is wrong with you?

Do they let you browse 4chan in jail?

>>84587755
Not unless you have some homeboys on the outside drop a cellphone through the chimney via drone or hide a phone in your asshole for 3 days until you get processed.

>>84587574
Like actual attempted rape or about a minute into sex and the girl says "I decided no now you're raping me"?

think i found you op
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8A85cl5w3s

>>84587697
You gotta give more than that. Were you on a date with this girl? Was it just some random bitch? Did you just have to get your rocks off or something?

>>84587679
8 fucking years holy shit

what'd you do?

HERES THE FOOTAGE FAGS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wn_0_ro04uI

>>84587755
nah man, at least not for violent offenders.

>>84587841
robbery where me and a friend accidentally stabbed someone to death.

OP here, I was raping another man because I am gay. Then I ate my own poop and wore a dress

>>84587952
do you ever feel guilty

>>84587993
I accidentally did this after I ate some marijuanas shit was fucked dudes

>>84587418
Cool Hand Luke

>>84587574
you probably wont get raped, but you will get stabbed

>>84588012
how many marijuanas

you should never take more than 5 in an hour

>>84587418
Escape From Alcatraz
The Shawshank Redemption
The Great Escape
Con Air

Basically every prison break movie. Gather all the info you can and I bet you can break out of that shit in the first 48 hours. You'll only have to get raped like twice that way.

Or....you know....just move to Mexico.

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>>84587418
Let's Go To Prison

>>84587574

you have to be kidding me, women are so easy to rape

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>>84588042
i took 6

>>84588005
not really
only feel bad about the lost time

prison fucking sucks big time, you get used to it but then you notice how many years you lost.
also lots of violence, easy access to hard drugs and mundane routine

>>84588042
my friend said you had to call a doctor if the effects lasted more than 4 hours

>>84588070
OH SHIT NIGGA MOM'S GONNA FREAK

>>84588072
>doesn't feel bad about killing someone for a few material possessions

piece of shit detected

>>84587574
explain further

>>84587952
>accidentally stabbed someone to death
what about it was it an "accident?"

>>84588072
you entered somebody else's home and when stopped you'd taken their lives instead and you don't even care

you deserved a death sentence, not measly 8 years, you scumbag

>>84588055
Get back to work Donald. You have a country to run

>>84588042
That's why I only snort the marijuana

>>84588072
frankly i feel the same after working night shift in a storehouse for five years. mundane routine is everywhere. find something you love and let it kill you, for all things will kill you, but it's better to be killed by a lover
you keep contact with anyone you met in there?

>no 25th hour

>>84588161
>buy a joint from a friend
>chop it up and snort it instead of smoking it

SOMEBODY STOP ME

>>84588042
>5 in an hour
Holy fuck I would die, I can only do like 1 every 2 hours. You guys are absolute madmen

>>84588119
shit happens
I didn't want it to happen but it did.

>>84588122
he let us in and things escalated

should have just given us the money and drugs

>>84588106
he was also asshole and violent criminal

>>84588179
yea actually made some good friends there
got now some good connections, some are also already out, some still sit inside and some sit for life.

>>84588042
>>84588070
>>84588083
>>84588161
fuck OFF reddit
I bet you're the same virgins that make "sportball" jokes during the Superbowl

>>84588237
I boil it like tea and then have it like a cuppa, it's quite cozy

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>>84587755
If they did the quality of posting would increase

>tfw

>>84587418
I was in prison for two months once.

The janitor was pretty pissed when he found me. I'm not allowed back.

>>84588280
>should have just given us the money and drugs

or you should've not robbed him

just because he was an awful person doesn't make killing him ok for money and drugs

piece of shit confirmed

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>>84587817
maybe they were catcalling him because he's the only fucking faggot talking to a camera

like jesus christ

>>84588386
whatever man
I was young and didn't knew better

>>84588525
Why don't you just kill yourself? Do something good for once in your life. No one will ever respect you since you a trash human being

Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky

Never been to prison but I live next to one

>>84588281
is sportball like countryball?

i might be a prison guard although I'm not terribly interested in it, but I might do it anyway.

to be honest I completely sympathize with prison guards now that I think about it. i don't care how much I get paid, I ain't getting in between some retards fighting. If they look like they might die, I guess I'd taze them or whatever, but let those jerkoffs sort it out

>>84587697
>>84587574
So you basically are going to prison for being a loser?

>>84588702
I just became a prison guard, previously from being a NEET for 3 years. I took the job because it's pretty high pay and they will take me even with my job gap. It was awful, there were niggers EVERYWHERE, even some of the guards were niggers. Everyone had tattoos and were cussing every other word. I was nervous as hell but couldn't pee because the bathrooms are covered in security guards. FUCK

>>84587418
why dont you just leave the country?

>>84588525
thats a bullshit excuse man and you know it

everyone knows better than to rob and murder

but hey, whatever helps you sleep at night and move on i guess

>>84588617
since I'm out people respect me more tho and woman love my prison shaped body

life is good currently and suicide is for weak cunts

>>84588617
not him but why are you so upset about it?
>Why don't you just kill yourself?
it seemed like you were arguing the sanctity of life, this statement contradicts that completely
>Do something good for once in your life.
you don't know his life, I bet he's done a bunch of good stuff
>No one will ever respect you since you a trash human being
once again you don't know enough about him or the situation to call him a trash human being, and beyond that it's not like he's going to be introducing himself like that
respect doesn't even work in such a black and white way
you're stupid

>>84587482
>marysue x marysue

>>84588684
It's making jokes like "I hope the Bears shoot the most home-runs!" or something faggy like that.

>>84588149
>>tumblr
>>reddit
Pick either. You'll like it there a lot more

>>84588760
>do less than a year in jail
or
>spend years running to ultimately get caught and get a worse sentence

are you dumb?

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>>84588457
>the smartest person on 4chan
>a reifag

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>Listen Tommy, I'm sorry, I didn't mean nothing by it. I was just venting some gas is all. Step in my shoes for a minute here. I did twenty years in prison because I was too young and dumb and proud to rat out a guy who betrayed me first. You know what pride buys you in prison Tommy? A beating and a cock up your ass. The only thing that kept me from slitting my own throat was the thought of seeing the world again. Every night I would picture the taste of Papa Tony's cheesy crust in my mouth. I made a promise that it was the first thing I'd treat myself to when I got released. And when I finally come out I find that Tony's been closed for 10 years and replaced with some 'cassette' store. You know what the fuck those are? I sure as hell don't. Everything's changed. I was younger than you are now when I went in and now I'm a regular rip van winkle. I don't recognize this place no more Tommy. The world has gone and left me in the dust. I remember it like yesterday when I would tip you a nickle for shining my shoes and you'd start thanking me like you'd won the lottery or somethin'. Now a nickle couldn't buy a fucking jolly rancher and your fancy tie alone is worth more than everything I own. Be the bigger man and give this bitter old fool a break eh kid?
>It's ok Billy I shouldn't hav--
>NOW GO HOME AND GET YOUR FUCKING SHINE BOX

jesus christ what the hell is wrong with italians

>>84588762
sometimes shit goes down and you are right in the middle of it
sure it was dumb but it happened and I did my time so now i'm in the clear

>>84588765
your body is shaped like a prison?

>>84588759
well I don't live in america, there's a lot less black people here but it doesn't matter much.

I was applying for another law enforcement style job, one I was actually interested in, but I dropped off a resume for prison guard because it's all the same qualifications. I'm going there in a few days for some tests. I'm also a military veteran though, so I'm not a complete nervous meltdown of a tard like you might be, but I'm still wary of this position. To be honest, the military is child's play compared to dealing with civilians and prisoners.

why can't you piss

>>84587574
You're life is over pretty much. It would be better if you stayed in prison desu. Nobody is going to hire a loser that commits sex crimes.

>>84588810
If you are stealthy they wont even notice your gone

>>84588161
You're supposed to just rub it against your gums to be safe

>>84587697
Why did you attempt to rape someone?

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>>84588811
>be me
>smartest person on 4chan
>tricks people into thinking my waifu is rei

gg, but you should have known not to engage in a battle of wits with me

>>84588845
kek i dont think thats how it works

>>84588759
>4chan gets a job
>It was awful, there were niggers EVERYWHERE, even some of the guards were niggers

>>84588839
I don't know. It was like this in high school where I couldn't piss if there was anyone else in the room. My penis just won't cooperate.

>>84588838
gets all the bitches man

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>>84588888
nice

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>>84588888
>the smartest person on 4chan
>loves Asuka
>dem quint 8's
Would you be my friend?

>>84587418
Stoic

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>>84588952
You're all already my friends. As if I would browse a website of people who weren't my friends.

a man escaped
le trou

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>>84589015
Neat

>>84587418
try to make yourself gay through watching gay porn. hell, you might end up then enjoying your time in the clinker.

>>84588280
are the gay jokes true anon
be honest

and did you work out before going in the can, or did you start there?

>>84587574
>>84587697
lol fucking white boys, they can't get any pussy so they have to rape women now, and even then they can't succeed. Pathetic, absolutely pathetic.

>>84587574
Is he, dare I say, /ourguy/?

>>84587418

The Poor Little White Guy series.

>>84587574
Go fuck yourself, cunt. I hope Tyrone fucks you up real good in your cell.

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>>84588940
based

Illegal shit. I mean, you're going anyhow

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>>84587574
>attempted

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>>84587697
you're a piece of shit and should consider suicide. I don't ever say that here, it seems like such a low energy insult but I truly mean it. you should kill yourself, in all seriousness.

>>84587574
Is this the end for cunnyposter? Find out on the next episode of /tv/!

>>84588184
>>84587418
I was going to say this, but I think OP would just off himself if he watched that movie.

i would just go out

i feel like op have rused us all and we are mum the wiser

>>84588940
Based Pusy Poter

>>84587418
What's stopping you from leaving the country?
If you aren't some big shot i doubt they will make an effort to find you.

>>84588807
Am I supposed to know what sport The Bears play without looking it up?

>>84588299
You're a stupid fucking faggot

>>84590000
the digits say so

Fuck I was really hoping that you were that guy from /pol/ who keeps posting about how he got drunk and """accidentally""" ran his professor over in a car.

>>84587418
The surveillance footage of your crime
Keep watching it until you feel like punching yourself out

>>84589716
OP is a nigger, son.

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>>84590600

>>84587713
chuckled

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>>84590161
>low energy
kill yourself

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>>84592128
Not that guy, but I seriously don't know either.
Sports are so fucking alien to me its unreal. I've never understood why people get so passionate about watching people getting paid a trillion dollars to throw a ball around for a couple hours

>>84587418
movies? i'd enjoy having control of my turds and not having the taste of smegma, pee and cum in my mouth

>>84588525
Well you did pay with those 8 years

>>84587574
That's evil man
Why would you ever do that

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let's fuel anon's fantasies of being raped by a convict nicknamed Big Nick Digger

>>84588839

The military is just as bad as prison

>>84595524
no it's not

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>>84587418
we made it

>>84595753
There are facebook pages that post stuff from 4chan? So it's like r/4chan but on facebook? Disgusting. What are the comments like?

>>84595611

Prison has less bullshit than the military

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>attempted rape is now a crime
>attempted

>>84587574
My best friend went to jail for violent crimes and came out a total fucking nutcase even worse than when he went in

Do the attempted crime do the real time, thats what I always say

>>84587574
>attempted rape
>only 8 months
Holy shit you should be counting yourself lucky my man.

>>84590000
Kek has spoken

>>84587574
Spread a rumor that your asshole has teeth
Also watch this because this spergy, young guy was also in prison for attempting rape and I'm sure your experience will be the same
https://youtu.be/z8A85cl5w3s

>>84587418
can we get the cunny spammers raided for CP next?

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>>84587574
Good job.

>>84587418
25th Hour.

>>84588386
It kinda does.

>>84593582
>tfw to intellegent for sports

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>>84587511
>>>84588888
>>84587755
>>84588055
>>84588122
>>84588299
>>84588344
>>84588811
>>84588833
>>84588888
>>84590000
>>84590222
>>84590600
>>84590733
>>84595611
Checked

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>>84596182
cringe lad
this isnt reddit

>>84593537
Are you still upset about being a loser?
;_;

>>84587574
Watch Silence of the lamb and start injecting hormones

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>>84596557
I'm no loser, dumb goy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JP2Z15DYoGo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kFUNZ_8dKA

>>84587418
>>84587418
just watch this guy watch every one of his vids or enjoy getttting your but cheeks busted

>>84597262
for got link like a retard
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUNHV0FSpRk

>>84589006
wew

>>84590323
>mum the wiser
I like this saying

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>no rich parents to support me
>no social programs that pay enough to live off
Is prison a good place to be a NEET? Anyone got any recommendations for prisons? I'd like to be able to use a computer daily at least.

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>>84587574

>>84587549
Yes, it came out in 2011. Avoid the 1997 version.

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>>84587418
a daily prison reminder from Joey Diaz

>>84597468
kek

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>>84587574
Is that you Ian?

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>>84588184
>>84596087

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Hello OP, are you still there? What went through your mind as you were attempting rape? Were you lucid? Also what is your race.

I ask because 'I know a guy' who's been in a similar situation.

>>84595804
They all glorified this shithole, also hey admin put me on the screen cap !

>>84597818
Yes
I was horny.
hell nah bro
black

>>84597981
thanks man good luck in the slammer

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>>84597981

>black

>>84598001
thanks its good tho Imma jail nigga

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>>84587778
>hide a phone in your asshole for 3 days until you get processed.
Nice try criminal scum. But we check for that too.

>>84598232
Yall get paid to look at assholes all day, typical job for a white fag.

>be OP
>lie about situation
>people believe it

>>84596526
So what are you doing here?

>>84593582
It helps if you've ever played one and enjoyed it. I don't enjoy most sports, but I still enjoy a game of hockey once in a while because I played it as a kid.

>>84596182
>>>/b/

>>84588012
R
>>84588042
E
>>84588070
D
>>84588083
D
>>84588161
I
>>84588248
T

fuck off same-fagging retard

>>84599427
>knowing what constitutes reddit
Go back

>>84588816
That's a damn fine piece of dialogue, good sir.

>>84587713

That's not really a man.

>>84588184
>25

/thread.

>>84587418
The great escape lol

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>>84597981
Niggers, not even once

guys guys, i watched prison break s1 and about to watch oz, which one is superior?

>>84587574
say hi to Bubba for me

>>84597981
classic bix nood poster, enjoy the (quite ironic)ass-rape in prison

>>84588184
>tfw watched this when my mate went to jail
>he just got paroled and came out a criminal anyway cause the systems a joke
>stopped hanging out with him cause he's just a retard who can't stop dragging himself and everyone in his orbit into drama

That movie really made criminals seem more sympathetic than they are

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>>84597981
>black
Didn't have to be Nostradamus to predict that one

>>84587676
attempted rape

>>84588386
i sympathise with the criminal, stop giving him such a hard time

>>84587418
The bling ring you criminal

>>84588769
Fuck off and kill yourself redditor/leftypol cuck.
Serious criminals deserve no mercy.

>>84588781
if they are all mary sue they arent mary sue

>>84602263
Can someone explain to me what prisoners actually do in prison? It just sounds like they dump all the criminals into the prison and let them fester for their sentence. No one seems to care about the rampant violence that goes on.

If I was running the prisons, I'd change it to be highly regimented. Every day the prisoners bow before a figure of authority before breakfast lunch and dinner, and every day they follow a strict routine of work, followed by recreation and exercise in the late afternoon.

>>84602446
They sit around and do jackshit then try and kill each other over minor slights that only a retarded nigger would care about

You can't make them all do what you want because there's too many of them in relation to the guards

The best thing for them is a bullet in the back of the head

>>84588781
t. Dragon Ball Z fanboy

>>84587418
Watch every episode of OZ and Better Blow jobs for Beginners

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Watch some kinos you won't be able to watch with thugs

Harey potter series 1 2 extended
Lord of the rings extended
2001
Possession
Aguirre wrath of god
The fountain
Noah
Eyes wide shut
Children of men

>FUCKING NORMALFAGS STOP SCREENCAPING MY BOARD


>RRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>84602470
If you can't make them obey the law inside prison how the fuck will you make them obey the law outside prison.

>>84588299
Stop forcing this meme

>>84602539
Prison in the US isn't aimed at rehabilitation, it's punishment (and also keeping criminals off the streets).

>>84602539
they dont, mostly they just go back to being criminals

the swedish rehabilitation meme doesnt work, people are what they are, if they are the type of person who doesnt care about other people and only cares about themselves going to prison wont make them any different

itll make them try be more careful, and ruthless against witnesses

>>84602570
Do you think this is a good system?
Punishment and rehabilitation should go hand in hand. Eventually these criminals will get back on the streets unless you want to give everyone a life sentence.

>>84587574
Sincerely op, I hope you learn from this experience. Be a better person from now on. And you should probably stop visiting 4chan. This place is cancer and does actually warp your perceptions of reality a little bit.

All that said, you should watch Billy Elliot if you haven't already. It is uplifting and will cleanse your filthy mind.

>>84602446
You just described Japanese prisons

>>84590161
this
end the shame you brought upon your famiru and hang yourself, your nothing more than a nigger granted you werent one in the first place

>>84588765
>suicide is for weak cunts
oh so like yourself? So weak you couldn't gain what you wanted through anything but violent force?

You fit the bill.

>>84602667
Does it work for the nips?

>>84602514
always gives me a bonerino

>>84587937
Jesus fuck that was cringe

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The amount of newfags every summer utterly astounds me tbqh. When I see those traffic numbers getting posted it unironically gets my noggin' joggin'

>>84602446
lol what lame prison, i would have dug a big hole in the middle of nowhere and make the most psychotic inmates wardens, the more they tourture they get priveleges and once in a while take away those privelages and throw them back into the mix and watch them getting teared to shit by the other inmates

>>84602790
and obviously stage guards to shoot down anyone attempting to batman his way out of the hole

>>84597468
kek, I've had this thought before

>>84602790
Fuck that, let's bring back penal millitary units. Just get the murderers to kill brown people overseas instead of white people at home.

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>>84588841
This desu
How the fuck will someone accept you as a person when you're forcibly trying to put your dick in people

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this board never ceases to get plebbier and plebbier

>>84588617
>Why don't you just kill yourself?
>Do something good for once in your life
>No one will ever respect you since you a trash human being
is what a trash human being says

>>84602470
>then try and kill each other over minor slights that only a retarded nigger would care about
rape, theft, random and unprovoked attacks
thats enough reason for people to chimp out when their lives are on the line and they have nothing else
i dont expect a sheltered 16 year old to understand that side of life tho

Taboo 2

Best fap of your life.

>>84603099
>someone took my seat WAHHHH IM SICK OF BEING A CAGED ANIMAL CAUSE IM A FUCKING LOSER I BETTER START A FIGHT

lol fuck off back to cell block 6 you fucking nothing

>>84602323
I think you mean Quasimodo

>>84603144
>this post
12 year old detected :^)

why does gay sex only occur in american prisons?

Successful troll is successful.

>>84602539
>not realising that the prisons want the criminals to reoffend (in the us at least) because most prisons are now privately run and so they directly profit off more people being incarcerated
wew lad

>>84603311
what's the fun in not replying to this thread though
this fucking site would be boring if people never replied to b8

>>84603247
It happens in European prisons too but over there it's consentual.

>>84588280
>>84588119
>>84587952
>accidently killing someone
u mean like uncle ben?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StIXd1EPOF0

>>84588940
How can one post be so based

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>>84587574

>>84603478
kill yourself, fucking faggot

>>84603513
You first fuck face

>>84603496
well he wont be one when he gets out of prison

>>84602405
>Fuck off and kill yourself redditor/leftypol cuck.
>Serious criminals deserve no mercy.
grow up

>>84587574
better luck next time

>>84603192
unemployable junkie

go fight someone over a packet of chips you bum

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>>84587952
>accidentally

>>84587418
A longshot, but is your name Christian? He always seemed like some weirdo that would browse this shitty site and he just tried to rape a girl.

>>84587952
How was it an accident?

>>84587574
literally /ourguy/

>>84604247
>
Let's see your dear old mother get stabbed in a robbery gone wrong and see if you keep that attitude. Holy shit you're a waste of space. This is why nobody invites you anywhere.

>>84587574
I see the neet uprising has begun, too bad you still can't do anything right

>>84604836
>Let's see your dear old mother get stabbed in a robbery gone wrong and see if you keep that attitude.
the attitude that you should grow up? haha
>This is why nobody invites you anywhere.
nice projecting, friendships involve you making the effort too, you can't just sit at home and get all offended when nobody talks to you
"invites you anywhere" what strange phrasing, is it all weddings and funerals in your peer group?

>>84602626
It is a system that works for the people who own prisons and have enough lobbying power to ensure their for-profit imprisonment continues indefinitely.

>>84603401
lol I forgot how absurd this was. How the fuck do you do that?

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>>84587574
>attempted

>>84587482
>>84588781
>shota x shota
Did OP download pizza?

>>84588808
>getting butthurt over a trump joke

maybe you should go back to /pol/ instead

>>84588280
>4chan thinks niggers are the problem

>>84587574
Are you black?

Watch Rectify

>>84587523
>8 months
>life changing

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>>84587574
Why I can't stop laughing at this?