>85 MINUTE RUN TIME >85 MINUTE RUN TIME >85 MINUTE RUN TIME

JUST
WE

>>84466600
Is Roland a magical negro?

>>84466600
Holy shit, really? I would almost consider watching it then, I'm fucking tired of 3h+ slogs.

>>84466600
Jesus, really? Source?

>>84466600
No fucking way, action blockbusters are never that short.

Shit confirmed

I thought this was a series.

>>84466655
Nice digits.

They managed to turn the Dark Tower into Roland vs MiB, anything is possible.

Do we even know what half of what book it adapts?

>*gets jiggy with it*
>AYO HOL UP, I'M JUST TRYANNA KEEP MY BABY MAMA SON SAFE Y'ALL

Must be a mess lmao

Holy shit.

This is looking worse than an asylum movie.

>>84466729
It's a very loose adaptation of parts of the first book.
>Why call it The Dark Tower if it's only about The Gunslinger

They're not going to adapt the rest of the series. They're just pumping something out to get the DT bux.

/tv/ is shitting on it, so that must mean it's going to be great. /tv/ is literally always wrong.

>>84466858
>Ghostbusters
>Fantastic Four
yeah /tv/ is always wrong. always.

it is a yrev very short movie i have seen it

>>84466858
Even a broken clock, m8
Even a broken clock.

>>84466890
>Ghostbusters
It wasn't nearly as bad as anyone thought. It was average at worst
>Fantastic 4
Wow, /tv/ was right about something that was released 2 years ago. If that's the best example that you can come up with then you're just proving my point.

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>>84467036
>It wasn't nearly as bad as anyone thought. It was average at worst

this fucking nigga

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Why couldnt we get Scott Eastwood as Roland?

This is just fucking Jumanji at this point.

>>84467036
>It wasn't nearly as bad as anyone thought. It was average at worst
It was trash; the only thing /tv/ was dead wrong about was the idea Snacky and Blacky would be worst girls, when Wacky and Tacky were far worse

>>84466655
This isn't a blockbuster, it's clearly low-budget despite the cast.

>>84467173
Scott Eastwood is a mediocre manlet actor with a babyface-version of his father's face.

>>84467180
>>84467120
t.didn't watch the movie
>b-but muh feminists!
go ahead and name some valid criticisms of the movie.

>>84467036
>guise, Sony's attempt to start a new extended universe based off of one well-loved classic and using feminism as a marketing tool was barely average.

You're a fucking idiot anon and your mother's a cunt.

>>84466600
i was expecting Jake to be....cuter

they really done goofed

>>84467229
Wasn't funny

>>84467229
>go ahead and name some valid criticisms of the movie.
It was boring. I called it halfway in.

Next.

>>84467229
Your mom wasn't sucking my dick when I watched it

>>84466600

Source on this?

I'm all for shorter movies, but goddamn that's barely longer than a tv show.

I'm actually fucking hype on this, I'm so sick of big blockbusters bleeding deep into 2 hours.

This makes me really want to see this.

>>84467332
>having faith in hollywood to do a good adaption at this point

also Dark Tower isnt a simple story and its very mood dependent
Theres no way they can establish the universe + have a meaty story arc within 85 mins

To be honest, the first book ended abruptly and almost prematurely. Not to mention that most of it was about an emo cunt wandering through a completely empty desert finding dead campfires.

The book was pretty much a short piece of garbage as far as literature goes. If anything the movie will be a slightly better short piece of garbage.

>>84467242
>>84467292
>>84467299
>>84467310
>DURRRR I DIDN'T LIKE IT SO IT WAS BAD!
so you have no criticisms of the movie?

>>84467400
>he's not even trying anymore

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Roland Deschain is the protagonist and hero of The Dark Tower Series. He is the son of Steven and Gabrielle Deschain and is the last of a long line of "gunslingers", peacekeepers and diplomats of Roland's society. He is also the final human descendant of Arthur Eld. His image and personality are largely inspired by the "Man with No Name" from three of Sergio Leone's westerns.

Some of his hair is gray or white, but some remains black. His facial features are described as rough (although Susannah once compared them to that of a tired poet; Eddie frequently refers to him as "old long tall and ugly"), and he has light blue eyes, often referred to by characters and Stephen King as "bombardier's eyes."

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>>84466600

>>84467384

The Gunslinger could be adapted into a competent 90 minute film.

This looks incompetent and all over the place.

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>>84467443
WE

>>84467459
Besides the inclusion of Affirmative Action Action Guy, how does this movie look "incompetent"?

>>84467392
the first book wasnt meant to be a full length book and started as a short story that king didnt play on turning into a full length series. It could be read in a sitting or 2 and doesnt really do anything other than establish the tone and the setting. You can skip it entirely and not miss any of the story.

>>84466600
Thats actually good.

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>>84467229

>>84467509
If you've read the books it's obviously an incompetent adaptation.

They are dropping about 80% of the plot and 95% of the exposition in favor of some Roland v. Rust showdown fanfic

>>84467588
FFS this has nothing to do with politics, you literal fucking cuck. We're talking about whether or not it's a bad movie. Saying "but SJW's tho" doesn't have anything to do with the quality of the film.
>>84467419
Still waiting for legitimate criticisms of the movie itself.

>>84467722
Wasn't funny

>>84467608
as a guy who has read all the books like 12 years ago and again when wind through the keyhole came out they HAD to make big changes. As it stood the story would only work in novel format. Not saying that the adaption will be good but its better to try than do a faithful adaption.

It would be like filming The Silmarillion as a movie, it just wouldnt translate well.

>>84467722
"It's boring" is a legitimate criticms. I'm not going to give you a scene-by-scene breakdown. I laughed at a couple of jokes; there must be 50 or so jokes and gags in the first half so this isn't saying much.

At about the halfway point I got up to make a sandwich and when I came back I felt zero desire to resume to movie so I did something else.

>>84467608
I read the first book. It was a gaping pile of ass with very little substance. Nothing fucking happened in the book other than the first town, wandering for a hundred pages, then the caves and the mountains.

You haven't said anything other than it's incompetent without explaining how. Just admit it's because there's a nog playing Roland and you don't like that. Other than that, thus is how I would expect a movie based on the first book to appear.

The previews for this movie honestly look better than the book read.

>>84466600
>not 2.5 hours long

That's actually a good thing. Too many shit movies are way WAY too fucking long and overdue their stay. Having a normal runtime may actually help this SWJ shitfest.

>>84467792
>It would be like filming The Silmarillion as a movie, it just wouldnt translate well.

Wtf are you talking about? Did we read the same books?

>>84467792
Nonsense, the only problem the books have is chronology. You can rearrange the story or have it told in a different way.

>cold open in book II, roland on the beach
>roland, "how did i get here etc"
>the story thus far is revealed in flashbacks
>roland draws eddie
>exposition/dialogue with eddie to fill in the rest of the gaps

that's movie 1

>>84467839
the 2nd and 3rd books have the most substance in that they are the books where the most is happening and the storyline is always progressing. The 4th book is one enormous flashback told via roland sitting around a campfire but it was by far the best one if you can ignore the fact that king writes like a horny teenager. The first book is an easily skippable introduction and doesnt even begin the story. Read further before you form an opinion because books 2-5 and parts of 7 are actually pretty good as far as fantasy goes

What in the fuck?

You couldn't even do The Gunslinger properly in 85 minutes, let alone half of the 2nd book.

This is going to be a travesty.

>>84467839
i couldn't care less about roland being black you stupid cunt. my problem is them dropping everything that made the first compelling, like Hey Jude on the piano, or the entire town going mad and Roland executing every last one of them. The slow mutants; I guess we get ninjas instead. Roland sacrificing Jake, a foreshadowing of Roland's tendency to sacrifice his fellows for his quest. the prophetic meeting with the Man in Black at the end.

you're just a brainlet faggot

85 mins is an IMDB placeholder, it's not confirmed

Movie will be at least 2 hours. There's 0 fucking chance they're cramming it into less than 1:30

>>84466600
the BLACKED tower is going to be kino

Guys!

Dont worry, im sure Stephen King will like it and recommend as being a faithful adaption....

>Roland DeShane

>>84467758
Humor is subjective
>>84467812
>"It's boring" is a legitimate criticms
No it isn't. Saying something is boring doesn't mean it's poorly made. If someone says that Citizen Kane is boring, does that mean that Citizen Kane is a bad movie? Besides, even if that was a valid criticism, that's just one issue, it takes more than one flaw to label a film as bad.

>>84467872
Doubt it.
85 min runtime often translates to:

>capekino/hollywood formula
>3 acts
>ADHD pacing
>interesting opportunities for character interaction reduced down to a catchprase or gag
>action sequences take up too much of limited time
>side characters neglected/omitted
>exposition takes up too much of limited time
>no denouement or other kinds of in between scene that allows the actors to chew the scenery
>concepts referenced briefly to score geek points rather than creatively explored
>not enough time to add risky scenes, lots will be cut, and it won't be the catchphrases and one liners
>attempt to condense story and character arcs making an unsatisfying mess
>shortcuts- everywhere

At least in sci-fi, fantasy and action.
I'm not claiming to be an expert or anything, but I have seen this happen to other adaptions and remakes I was optimistic about, and I'm set up for disappointment as the trailer confirms a least some of my concerns.

>>84468100
Fuck that guy. King is a man who lacks the courage of his convictions. Writes about kids fucking in a sewer and then walks it back.

They did get him on camera endorsing the movie. Why he lets people fanfic the work he considers his best this late in the game, with his kind of bank, I do not know. Maybe he got fucked contractually or maybe he's just a faggot.

>>84467890
did we? the movie would be a complete mess as a movie because of its structure, miniseries maybe but LOTR style movie? fuck no

>>84467942
the movie would have to be some flavor of arthouse bullshit just to get the setting right. A big draw of the series is the post apocalyptic setting of several universes at different time periods beginning to break down and meld together. as shown through the decaying billboards, the rundown teleportation stations, the destroyed cards, and the oil fields despite the "current" timeline of mid world that roland and the RPG party travel through being a 19th century arthurian flavored american western. You cant convey these themes without either

1. confusing the fuck out of everyone
2. outright telling them which makes for bad storytelling

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>>84468184
>If someone says that Citizen Kane is boring, does that mean that Citizen Kane is a bad movie?
Ghostbusters is supposed to be a comedy film

This weak bait, you have lost all my respect. No more (You)s. Cherish this one.

>>84468063
Did they drop all of those things? Have you seen the movie? Ahh, you've seen it then?

>>84468009
>Movie based on the first book
>READ THE OTHER BOOKS!

I don't care about the other books in terms of my opinion about the movie because the movie is going to be based on one of them. The first one. You're worse than a Game of Thrones faggot that tries to explain shit in the show based on George RR Martin's writing. They're not the same thing. If it's based on the first book and not the others, film it according to that source material alone. Everything else can fall into place afterwards.

Does the movie have dodachoc dadachee?

>>84468253
the book would be a complete mess as a movie*

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>>84468274
>movie based on the first book
based retard. learn what you are talking about before spewing garbage

>>84468009
the 1st book is the only good one

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>film critics

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>>84468253
I beg to differ. I think you can easily protray the themes the same way anime (bear with me) does; exposition. Simply show it to us. Use the medium of visual storytelling. It looks like they are doing this somewhat but only in the venal desire to cross-link this film with their others. It's too bad the most lore-specific moments will be marketing tags.

you seem to be arguing the world is too dissonant to portray without looking comic, you might be right strictly speaking. you don't have to make a 1:1 adaptation to be faithful or do it service.

fun fact, in American Psycho the book, the exhaustive fashion descriptions Bateman gives of his colleagues, when actually assembled, make everyone look like clowns with mishmashing styles and garish colors. But in the film they all dress immaculately, because that's what we would expect to see.

>>84468364
not even close. literally nothing happens. It does nothing but establish the setting and feel of the series and can be completely skipped without missing much

>>84468272
>Ghostbusters is supposed to be a comedy film
What exactly is your point, you fucking idiot? Anyone could just as easily say that the original Ghostbusters is boring.
>This weak bait, you have lost all my respect. No more (You)s. Cherish this one.
This is what retarded underage children do when they realize they have no argument.
>N-No you're wrong! I'm leaving!
I'm glad that we could come to the conclusion that you're a dishonest fucktard with autism that hasn't seen the movie. Cheers mate.

>>84468253

The books arent that complex.

The second book is basically an exploitation movie with a interdimensional travel plot device.

>>84466600
>Condensing a series of books into 85 minutes

Well this definitely isn't going to flop

>>84468433
im not saying that its completely impossible but I wouldnt trust the best director on the planet with pulling that off while keeping the main feeling intact without alienating general viewers. I just cant see it being turned into film 1 to 1 cleanly enough to be good

>>84468486
the story itself is easy to follow if very strange but there is a lot of strange imagery that I believe would be hard to properly capture without losing too many people

>>84468449
>any criticism is met with "that's not a valid criticism" followed by bullshit reasoning
>calls other anons dishonest
You need to look in the mirror, you worthless cunt.

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>>84466600
>Have you considered some slow-motion?

>Jack getting BLACKED

Mmm

>>84466858
>dude critics are always wrong
>dude word of mouth is always wrong
>dude 4chan is always wrong

>the only way you can know is to go see the movie yourself!

>>84468736
Alright. Go ahead and explain to me how "I didn't like it" is a valid criticism of the quality of the movie.

>>84467839

There's plenty to have in a movie. You left out the way station, the first town's got the saloon, then the priestess before he slaughters them. The caves have the mutants and the mountains have the oracle. You could also have more of Jake's back story rather than having that where it was in the third book.

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>>84468976
Are you fucking serious? Are you really asking me to explain how not enjoying a movie is a valid criticism?

>>84469319
He doesn't understand markets

>>84467839

Oh, and the first book also has scenes in Gilead in flashback, particularly Roland fighting Cort with his hawk.

>>84466729
It's a combination of all the books. There's characters in this movie that don't appear until the last two books.

It's essentially fan-fiction.

>>84467942

The series is heavy enough with flashbacks, there's no way it wants even more in.

>>84466600
should've posted a pic of angry fat joe.

>>84468009
>if you can ignore the fact that king writes like a horny teenager.

To be fair, he was writing about a pair (mostly) of horny teenagers.

>>84469371
That was a crazy cool chapter.

>Roland surprises everyone
>If he loses the bird he will be defenseless
>Roland is 15, he cannot overpower Cort
>Cort getting his shit ruined and having to smash his own face to kill the hawk

was fantastic.

>>84467400
If a comedy doesn't make you laugh, it's pretty fair to call it bad.

>>84469319
Yes, you stupid fucking nigger. What the fuck do you not understand about this? Saying "I don't like it" doesn't mean shit. If I don't enjoy a movie, does that make the movie bad? No, you fucking dipshit. Name a flaw of the movie itself. Personal enjoyment doesn't have anything to do with the quality of the movie.

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>The Dark Tower
What did (((they))) mean by this in relation to Idris Elba?

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>>84469626
Comedy films are not the same from what we erroneously call "drama" films. Comedies are generally lighthearted, the exception being black comedies, and are meant to entertain with jokes, bantz, pratfalls and other humorous devices.

the Ghostbuster movie has all this but much of it was found extremely wanting by the moviegoing public including me. therefore it failed in it's task.

saying this is the same as "well citizen kane is kind of a ponderous movie, some might say it's boring, therefore it must be bad right" is not the same as "nu-ghostbusters being light on cognitive substance, is explicitly meant to generate a positive emotional response in me but instead i was bored which is a negative response."

GB was supposed to be fun, and funny, and it was neither, it failed.

>>84466858
>Ghost in the shell

Nope, /tv/ is never wrong. That movie was uttershit

>>84468009
>The first book is an easily skippable introduction and doesnt even begin the story.

I don't understand how it's not a beginning of the story. You have some of young Roland, and you learn he's chasing Walter, and some of the reason why. Walter gives an explanation of what the tower is. Roland starts alone but meets the first of his ka-tet. Also establishes the setting, obviously, but much more than the second book does, where most of it's in normal Earth.

>>84469729
>the Ghostbuster movie has all this but much of it was found extremely wanting by the moviegoing public including me. therefore it failed in it's task.
It's rated 73% on RT, 60% on Metacritic, and 5.3/10 on IMdB. You're basically saying that some people don't like the movie, so the movie is bad. Going off of the public opinion, more people enjoyed the movie than not. This argument doesn't make any sense. None of this matters however, because you still haven't directly criticized the movie itself. All you've done is say the same fucking thing you've been saying but worded differently. For the last fucking time (hopefully), what are some crititcisms
ABOUT
THE
MOVIE
ITSELF
?

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>>84467180
>Snacky, Blacky, Wacky and Tacky
>mfw reading this post.

>>84470187
Stop posting retard

>>84467521

>the first book wasnt meant to be a full length book and started as a short story that king didnt play on turning into a full length series.

Bullshit. He wanted to write something like Lord of the Rings and The Gunslinger was his entry point into that universe, only he realised he wasn't upto the task at that point in his writing career and so left it alone until he felt he was good enough to do the idea justice.

>>84470187
Not the same poster, but it's well known how much of an engineered campaign Sony pushed with pressuring critics to give the film positive reviews.
You look at all the shit flung behind the scenes during this movie's production, you can get a good glimpse of how Sony engineered "sexist" attacks against this film.
You want evidence? Check out Midnight Edge's videos on the BTS for GB 2016. Invalidates any major positives critics could say about the film.
And as for actual criticisms, yeah, the movie's story was all over the place and didn't pace itself well, the characters were poorly-written with most of them just playing off shallow quirks like their looks, half the gags were toilet humor or stereotype humor, the film banked on referencing the original with cameos and call backs while simultaneously insulting the original's fanbase, and there was a mean undercurrent of anti-men sentiment throughout. You see it with all the men being idiots or assholes in the film.
There. That's some standard criticism. Does that appease you?

>>84470578
>St-Stop it! I-I'm right!
This is just fucking pathetic now. You're telling me you dont have one legitimate criticism of this film? I'm defending it FFS and I can think of at least 5.

This could have been huge but instead they opted to rush everything and make a Syfy channel movie.

I don't get it.

>>84470821
>And as for actual criticisms, yeah, the movie's story was all over the place and didn't pace itself well, the characters were poorly-written with most of them just playing off shallow quirks like their looks, half the gags were toilet humor or stereotype humor, the film banked on referencing the original with cameos and call backs while simultaneously insulting the original's fanbase, and there was a mean undercurrent of anti-men sentiment throughout. You see it with all the men being idiots or assholes in the film.
Fucking thank you anon. Jesus fucking christ, was that so hard? That's literally all I was fucking asking for. Holy fuck.

>>84466600
That makes me want to see it more, but I probably won't see it

>>84469413
It's a direct sequel to the book series.

Good.

Low runtime films are rarity these days.
Especially low run time action.

>>84470851

It's simple, Anon. The money dried up and Ron Howard left the project when they started talking about downsizing.

>>84470966

>It's a direct sequel to the book series.

If you'd read the series you would realise how pointless that statement is.

Ka is a wheel; its one purpose is to turn. The spin of ka always brings us back to the same place, to face and reface our mistakes and defeats until we can learn...

>>84471114
>If you'd read the series you would realise how pointless that statement is.
I did read them dumbass. Idris Elba's Roland has the Horn of Gilead. It's the last time around, even King all as much confirmed it.

>>84466600
Still haven't found any proof on this.

>>84466959
Good to know, old friend

>>84471150

>even King all as much confirmed it

Believing anything that self inserting self shilling twat says. It's like you don't understand that he's going to gain financially if he hypes up his fans to pay to see the film. Authors are pretty reluctant to criticise adaptations of their books, even when they are Ender's Game tier shit.

>>84471618
>“It is, in fact, a continuation,” director Nik Arcel told IGN. “It is a canon continuation. That’s exactly what we intended and what Stephen King has signed off on.”
Educate yourself slowpoke.

>>84466600
Yo String! Why ain't you working with Avon no more!?

>>84471713

None of what you posted is a contradiction of >>84471618

>It's a continuation

Yeah, aka "another cycle".

>King approves of being paid to let someone make a film from his books

Like I said, Anon.

>>84471864
But it is a contradiction of >>84471114
It's a continuation of the story. Being butthurt won't change that.

>>84467400
The story ended up mirroring the original but more like a funhouse mirror where it came out shit
Every character wanted to be the smarmy, comedic one and it was overbearing
10% of the jokes landed, with a chuckle at best
The ending villain's death was deliberately done to inspire controversy which 1. Didn't really work and 2. Felt cheap
It tanked because it didn't know who to appeal to, fans of the originals thought it looked shit, kids wanted to see other stuff instead, and anyone else got shit on by Sony and Paul Fieg so they didn't want to see it

>>84471042
This could have been a big franchise if handled right. Oh well.

>>84471930

>When a wheel spins it only spins for one revolution, the rest of the time it's just a continuation, not another cycle.

Please tell me you can see the error in this thinking.

My butt is not hurting, Anon. Are you 12? You have to be 18 to post here.

>>84472020

Yes, sadly they fucked it up. Also, they should have got Olyphant to play Roland.

>>84471864
>Yeah, aka "another cycle".
But it has the potential to be different considering Roland has the Horn. Quit being salty. All you have is conjecture.

>>84472124

>Wah, you don't agree with me, you're just being salty

Please stop.

>>84472160
Yeah, you're acting pretty upset that this series isn't a direct adaptation. No need to be upset man.

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>>84467588

>>84469531
Also teaches Roland to use others and let them die for his own ends. Bretty gud given that shit makes up a large chunk of his character development.

>>84472395
Why can't you ever come up with memes of your own? Why is it always this cringelord shit were you change tect around and hope it catches on?

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>>84467219
Did you think the pure masculine essence that is Clint Eastwood would remain pure after mixing with some useless woman?

It's a shame we don't have cloning. Good men destroyed by inferior genes.

>>84472673
>he thinks the alt-right came up with Pepe

Fuck off newfag

>>84467036
>average at worst

I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S A RACE THANG OR LADY THANG BUT I'M MAD AS HELL

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>>84472673
/pol/tards were so butthurt with this one that they made 2 to 3 variations of it

>>84472833

What you need to do is to put your head out of the window and shout "I'M MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANY MORE".

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>>84466858
/tv/ being wrong works in a balance scale, as in for every wrong there must be an eventual right to equal the sides.

Since /tv/ was so catastrophically wrong about Wonder Woman, it'll be right about a lot of shit from now, which doesn't bode well for Spiderman. And then it will repeat again.

One thing I have been noticing is that it appears that a DC movie is always the one to trigger a massive turn from right and wrong. Incredibly wrong on BvS, half-right/half-wrong on WW, and now completely and utterly wrong with WW. I wonder how it'll be for JL.

>>84466600
I still can't bring myself to finish the 2nd one its soooo bad. I really liked the first book but goddamn the 2nd book gets pants on head retarded.

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>>84467036
>girlbusters wasn't that bad

Please be bait..

>>84472966
If it's the fantastical shit that's turning you off, it only gets worse from there on in. Might as well drop it.

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>>84466600
I want to support the DT property because I really liked those books, but not support Sony for butchering everything interesting about it

Are you going to pirate or see it in theater

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>>84467036
>Wow, /tv/ was right

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This all seems very familiar.

>>84473028
No the whole him being in other peoples heads and the schitzo black lady. I just didn't care careabout her or the crackhead guy. And thought the whole Roland controlling them in their dimensions was plain dumb.

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>>84466890
>yeah /tv/ is always wrong. always.
>>84467036
>Wow, /tv/ was right about something

>>84473224
The schizo black lady stops being schizo later kind of a spoiler maybe, whoops and the junkie gets his shit together too. They're not as annoying after that at least.

>>84473391
Idk it just wasn't what I thought I was getting into. I had 2 chapters left in book 2 and couldn't finish it.

>>84473069
Going to pirate/stream. I JUSt found out that the film isn't actually an adaptation of the first novel but is instead King basically just letting the director do whatever the fuck he wants to let it work as a movie. "A continuation of the series where we start with roiland and jake but things happen differently than in the novels."

>No Drawing of the 3
>No Eddie dean
>No Susanna Dean/Odetta Holmes/Detta Walker/Mia
>No Blain the mono
>No Callahan
>No City of Lud
>No Chardic the Bear

Just BOOM roland meets jake BOOM straight to the last book This film is going to shit ALL OVER the novels.

>>84473455
Well if you stop here you're going to completely miss out on them killing Thomas the tank engine with a riddle.

what's this movie about? it must be sci fi because there is no way a black man would take care of a children

>>84466600
This is seriously one of the absolute shittiest disasters I've ever heard of. King is such a total hack faggot.

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>>84473523
>No Chardic the Bear

All that stuff being removed really, really, really bothers me but that's just going too fucking far

>>84473523
Casting Idris was a brilliant move. When the movie inevitably fails commercially and critically, Sony can pull another Ghostbusters but this time instead of sexism, it'll be america's racism that stopped the movie from succeeding.

Which is a shame because I think Idris could have actually been a really strong Roland despite not looking like Clint Eastwood if they hadn't decided to totally fuck the books over.

>>84467392
This combines books 1, 2, and 3.

Jesus Christ is it literally going to be just Jake and Roland having exposition before fighting a couple things and returning to Earth? What the fuck?

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>>84473523
>imagine the gunslinger but he's like FUKKEN SICK at reloading his gun in slow motion while jumping through the air

>>84473595
>>84473692
>>84473603

>No scene of the Ka-tet learning gunplay and reciting their lessons In Chardics Forest
>No scene of eddy putting Chardics robo-buddies out of their misery
>No scene of the bridge to Lud or Susanna and Eddie fighting their way to Blaine
>No scene of Gasher and the Tick Tock mans talk with Jake and Roland and Oy saving them
>No fucking Oy at all.
>No scene of the ka-tet on blain the mono just as they exit lud into the wastes or glorious shot of that glorious wasteland vista
>No falls of the hounds
>NO LOBSTROCITIES

I REPEAT
NO
LOBSTROCITIES

This movies gonna be SHIT to anyone who read the novels. SHIT.

>>84466600
Isn't movies tickets getting expensive? I'm not paying for a movie that short

>it's a people believe a random unsourced number off IMDB episode

Transformers 5 is 200 minutes long too

>>84473284
>>84473090
Obviously I wasn't being literal, you dense fucks.

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>>84473820
I don't understand

They're making an IT reboot

They could have had the greatest cinematic universe that's ever been done, bringing in Dark Tower three or four movies in

What's it all about anon, why is Sony the actual Christian devil

>>84470910
You did not phrase it well, and most people (Including myself), literally cannot tolerate that atrocity's existence for more than five fucking minutes. It shits on the name of the series it is trying to emulate, in some desperate attempt to make itself seem comedic or funny. It also tries to play itself off as being the ORIGINAL Ghostbusters, completely disregarding most of the original canon, and only using parts of that canon when it suits it, or so that it can shit on the Ghostbusters name some more. This happens in every film directed by Feig. Every single one of them, and especially the reboots. Every movie that has had Paul Feig as it's head inevitably devolves into shit, and be VERY glad that it wasn't literal this time.

>>84473820
>No fucking Oy at all.

Shiiiiit.
Dropped.

>>84474442
They couldn't get Andy Serkis so they dropped Oy

WICKITY WILD WILD WEST

They should make movies half and hour long for the adhd generation and have an intermission every two minutes so people can check their phones.

Also they need a recap every 10 minutes to emphasize key points that happened just in case people were blinking too much and missed them.

>>84474541
Where is it that you think we're going anon

>>84466600
Damn I hate his fresh cowboy outfit. He should be in ancient jeans and a button up shirt and hat, all baked and faded from the sun.

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>>84466959

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>>84466959
seeeen it

>>84473820
Dad-a-chad? Fuck the movie. They had a nice plan to start out with--staggering the series between movie and mini-series releases--but of course, everything halfway decent has to be goddamn ruined when moved across media for an adaptation.

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>>84473820
>no Blaine the mono
>no shootout in the town with Roland backing up and blasting everyone
>no Roland leaving Jake to die so he can pursue the MiB
>no MiB leaving a skeleton
>no sex scene with a demon
>no lobstrosities
>no gigantic forest bear going mad that Roland has to put down
>no Jake fleeing from the monster in the house

I don't see any reason to see this movie.

The amount of surprise at this is alarming? People continually complain about the length of Blockbusters on here. Now that we have something manageable, that's probably suitable for the subject matter people get up in arms. You really want 3 hours of this shit?

>>84474804
Dum-A-Chum?

>>84474856
>that's probably suitable for the subject matter
That's a (you) right there.

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>>84474237
I would say Literally Jews, but since you have probably heard that from one a thousand times from all the braindead Redditors that have come to infest /pol/ nowadays, I shall give you something of more substance. Simply put, Sony doesn't care. It does not care about the lore, or story, or worldbuilding behind any of these series that it chooses to adapt. It only cares about tossing out some rushed pile of tripe that the mindless drones that we typically call 'normies', can gulp down and praise all in spite of it being literal shit with none of the substance, or world, or heart that was put into the work it claims to be trying to "adapt". You see this in nearly every modern-day adaptation of a writer's works. They bastardize their characters, changing their skin coloration despite the books in question literally SHOWING us how they look, for no other reason than to appeal to the mindless consumer-base, turning characters into caricatures of themselves, all in an attempt to sully the memories of those characters in our heads, and to make us believe that this is how those characters REALLY are, once you get rid of all that "white privilege", or all those "cis-gendered males keeping everyone else down".
They completely poison the series they are trying to adapt, turning it into this disgusting mess of filth and bile that can barely even be called an "adaptation". All in all, they do this just because they -can-, or just because they ate the world the writer has developed, and worked painstakingly hard to create and flesh out.

>Pic related. It's Paul feig, the man behind the atrocity that is the nuGhostbusters

>>84474934
if it makes you comfortable to take my comment as not 100% sincere, go with god

>>84474820
Eddie put Shardik down.
also
>no Eddie trying to smuggle coke on a plane with Roland talking to him in his head

>>84474916
>>84474804
Dod-A-Chok?

>EVERY PIECE OF SHIT SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER NEEDS TO BE 200 MINUTES LONG

>>84475055
I don't remember Eddie doing that, I thought Roland blasted the shit out of it. My bad.

>>84466600
They couldn't even make it to 90 minutes? Wtf

>>84475162
Roland does destroy it after they take it through the portal into midworld.

>>84474967
The best part about all this is that it loses Sony money. You can't blame it on them making smart business decisions because each and every one of these stupid moves they make end up jeopardizing their film division.
Look at how hard they tried to micromanage Deadpool, and how it ended up saving the company when Fan4stic tanked. They can't even fall back on "w-well we were trying to be smart ab-about our finances".
They burned $100 million pushing GB 2016, and they've got actually no one to blame but themselves. It's astounding.

>>84468433
You sure you know what exposition means?

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>>84475055
>no Eddie trying to smuggle coke on a plane with Roland talking to him in his head

How about

>no charming fish-out-of-water jokes like popkins and astin
>it will be several minutes worth of
>WHAT MANNER OF DARK MAGICK IS THIS STONE
>chill senpai it's called an iphone how bou dah

>>84467036
bait

>>84473820
>No Oy

bullshit. they'll be selling stuffed Oy toys for the next 5 years

>>84467229
the trailer showed that the movies idea of joke is screaming loudly into the camera and/or cgi alien goo
t.didn't watch the movie

>>84475411
please no

Aren't they doing a TV series as well?

Short runtime would make sense in that case.

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>>84466600
the based choice.

prove me wrong

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>>84475294
Indeed. What makes it worse is that they trusted Paul Fucking Feig to do the adaption. This is literally the man/Jew, who in one of his own movies, in a scene that some of the brainless cattle would call "memorable", literally had his "STRONK" female characters take a shit in a bathroom together, and had them literally spray feces all over the damn place. That is how bad this man is, and yet Sony decided to trust HIM of all people to make a Ghostbusters reboot. It was doomed from the very day of it's announcement.

Fucking finally people are just making movies again
Every fucking movie getting 180 minutes has been like the number one reason I hate going to the theater

I don't know who's fault this is but I want to blame Tarantino and Peter Jackson

>>84475214
What are you talking about? The giant nuclear bear, Shardik. It was always in Mid-World, although now that I think of it again maybe Susanna killed it to save Eddie's life.

>>84466600
LOL


Might as well make it a short film

>>84475793
I not only quoted the wrong post but I was also wrong with the content of my misdirected post. Pay me no mind, I'm smoking crack.

>>84474820
You're making me wanna read the books again, but I don't know if I can stomach the godawful slog of books 5-7.

>>84475625
Too good looking, imho. I always thought Tom Jane could probably do Roland.

>>84474820
>no Blaine the mono
How do you know that? It's still unclear what content is making in it and what may be new. If anything Blaine could be introduced in a future movie or the mini series or however the fuck they're continuing this story.

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>>84476710
>he thinks this normie-poison movie will do well enough to earn a sequel

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>>84476902
I have no idea how well it will do, but it just seems weird to complain Blaine won't be in it, when it would be far more logical for him to show up later. Excuse me for trying to actually talk about a movie instead of communicating in nothing but memes. I forgot where I was.

>>84466626
WE
WUZ
KA

DAE wish Idris Elba was their dad haha

>>84473820
did you only read wastelands?

>no roland/susan nubile love story and corresponding sex scenes

based WnG best story of the whole thing

>>84477018
The movie is supposed to encompass the entire DT series so a lot of shit will be cut. Lurk the thread.

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>>84466614
Nice

This jake is only like a 5/10 shota

book jake is 9/10

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Rolando Inchainz, holder of the sandalwood Glocks, direct descendant of KANGZ ARTHURKWON.
He will fight raysism across the multiverse, so prepare your anus for his BIG BLACK TOWER.

>>84470994
This.

>>84473820
when has a king movie had the budget to actually match the novel in any meaningful way? hardmode no Shinning.

>In Tull Roland rapes a fat white woman who was pregnant with the Man in black baby and makes her abort
>later he kills everyone in the town and blows some toddler's head
Will that be in the movie?

>>84481457
Shinning has nothing to do with the book, that movie was shit and king is a sellout with shitty taste in movies.

>>84466665
still hope...

>>84467400
Ghost yourself.

>>84474237

I'm actually shocked they aren't attempting a Stephen King cinematic universe. All his fans already know they're all connected and The Dark Tower is the backbone

>>84474967

But in this case the writer is Stephen King whoi is ultra liberal and writes black men as flawless. He's probably over the moon with this. Did any of you read his recent "detective" books. King is so thirsty for that black kid he created it's almost comical

>>84481782
They can't because the bulk of King's books are owned by all sorts of different studios.

>>84466600
look what happens when you pull nig-washing on beloved literary characters and everyone stops caring about your shitty flick

>>84481890

Ah that's true. King just gave everything away for cheap

>>84481985

The only good thing from this film is the poster. Sony ruins everything they touch and it's time they collapsed.

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>tfw there will be no gay vampires, dr. doom wolf robots with lightsabers, or crimson king santa claus that gets killed by an erased drawing
>tfw there will be no spider baby that kills the man in black, or susannah riding a three wheeler into an alternate universe to spend time when alternate dimension versions of the people she loves

T-thanks Sony

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>>84482144

I always pictured the Crimson King like Saruman from the animated film

>>84472395
>someone was so butthurt that they made a /pol/ variation
kek.

>>84470910
But you were defending it, stop pretending like you're the neutral party.

>>84472790
Holy strawman.

>>84474967
>but since you have probably heard that from one a thousand times from all the braindead Redditors that have come to infest /pol/ nowadays
But 4chan has been blaming jews since before /new/ even existed.

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>>84481850
I just finished those books recently and I did like them but you are right about the nig being a total Gary Stu.

He we liked by everyone, all the girls thought he was hot, he was capable in every situation and even when he wasn't directly in the stories he was talked about in all positive lights because he did habitat for humanity and shit. He was absurdly flawless.

>>84468184
>Saying something is boring doesn't mean it's poorly made

you are in way over your head kid

>Roland, remember the face of your father
>sheeeeeeeeeit

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>>84466600

>A white man is going to cuck a black guy so hard his entire kingdom collapses

I can't believe the Jews let this happen